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I've been living with my partner since last summer and I feel like I don't really know him. We just don't seem to talk. I mean really talk! Just the day to day stuff..Im wondering if i'm expecting too much from him. Maybe I need more chat from girlfriends and expect less from him? I just wonder if this is the norm with couples....my kids are not toddlers anymore and fairly self-sufficient, plus they go to their Dad's every other weekend so we have a lot of time together.....but not much to talk about. Every question seems to get an "I don't know" if it involves a detailed answer. Or watching a film the other night....I asked what did you think of that and I get "good". End of subject. No more discussion. Or when he's staring off into space and I ask "what are you thinking?" I get "nothing". Surely it's impossible for your brain to be engaged in nothing. Am I asking for too much? Or am I possibly mismatched with someone who just can't be arsed to have an indepth conversation? Or is everyone else sitting around having deep, meaningful conversations about the meaning of life and i've missed the boat?
I feel your pain!!! DH is also not great at conversation - bit of a problem for us as feel we have kind of lost our way a bit.....but, I also think it is a male/female thing. I can discuss things for hours with female friends and we can analyse give different opinions, just generally chat things over, with DH I can tell him the exact same bit of news, and I can get a one sentence response.
I do feel envious of friends sometimes when I hear them talking about conversations they have had with their partners, but, I would say that I kind of dont expect DH to be everything to me, I've accepted that if I want a long discussion about something, it's probably best to speak to a friend, rather than him. I'm sure I read somewhere that men have problem solving type brains, so when you present them with a problem, they immediately want to "fix" it for you, whereas woman are more emotional, so are happy to talk through all the possibilities without actually coming up with a solution - did I make this up??
No, that's from the book: Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus. And I definitely think that's true! I dont want my problem solved, I just want to have a good moan about it!
LOL MissGelly..are you sure you're not married to my dh? I used to think that he had secret hidden depths and that one day I'd discover them... aftter 14 yrs together I've realised there isn't! When I say What are you thinking and he says nothing He means it! Ah well,...he has many many other fantastic qualities, unfortunately conversation isn't one of them
We're the other way round, poor dp tries to talk to me and i kind of wander whilst he talks. He'll not always be in the mood either though, and I can ramble on then realise he's not lsitening, he is especially good at falling asleep during convos I don't see a problem with wanting an in-depth conversation but has he ever been the talking type?
Glad its just not me then, DH has been known to actually leave the room when I am mid-sentence, then shout from the top of the stairs "I'm still listening" when he is clearly not .
I sometimes think as well, after 14 years together, maybe we have just ran out of conversation??
Same thing here! Sometimes he will just walk away and I have to say "i'm talking to you" or he'll sometimes just butt it and talk over me which really p*sses me off!
Needamassage you can`t be married to my dh can you?????? You mean there are more than one god help us.
I^ve sat chatting to dh while hes watching footie and he clearly is`nt listening "So I walked down the street naked saw George Clooney who whisked me off to his room and bla bla ( A girl can dream) And dh sat and said "yeah" he has no idea what I said .He just says "yeah" cos I`ve stopped talking
LOL Wildhorses! Do the same thing -"So anyway....thought me and the girls would jet off to Barbados tomorrow-used your credit card-ok with you?"
Maybe that's why he can't be bothered listening-he leads a double life with two wives trying to "talk"!
Sometimes I also have to repeat myself three times before I even get a reply. It's like having another child-maddening!
MissGelly, I really do sympathise! Joking aside, it can feel lonely. The one person you want a connection with is your DH and it can feel like something is missing when you don't have it. If you have close friends and MN(!), they help but some men just seem to be like this
The good thing is, though, when we do communicate we give the essential info.
So if you ask DH how he is feeling and he says "fine", he means he is fine.
If I ask DW how she is feeling and she says "fine", I have to listen for the subtle nuances in tone as if we are speaking Chinese, because "fine" can mean any number of things, at least 50% of which are dangerous.
My xh couldn't hold a conversation about abstract matters at all. He just didn't think like that, or if he did he never let it out. Once, when he was stoned off his face, he told me that he was afraid for our new ds because if there was ever a war ds might be called up, and he was frightened of war so he was frightened for ds too.
In 14 years, that was the only personal insight into xh's head that I ever got. New DP chats to me all the time about things theoretical. He's a lot more open, and I'm happy with that. Unfortunately, he almost always ends up with a moan about taxes in general and petrol prices in particular; even if we start the conversation about fascism - all roads lead to petrol
?? 
which really p*sses me off! 
