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Mumsnet Discussions: Relationships : divorce and property. (39 messages)
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Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 11:15:51
i wonder if anyone can help. it is bank holiday and i am getting increasing flustrated.
i have two young children with my ex husband. we have been seperated for a little over a year and divorced since january. we never had any legal advice regarding the divorce, it was always assmed that he would keep his pension and i would get the house. however now he wants his name off the mortgage and he says i cannot get a mortgage of my own as i only work part time.
i was wondering in legal terms what he has to provide for us with regards to a roof over our heads.
he dropped this bomb shell on me suddenly on saturday , so i will seek out legal advice this week.
until then has anyone had experience with this that may help?
thanks
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By avenanap on Mon 05-May-08 11:18:19
Have you got anything in writing from him regarding the division of assets?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By LIZS on Mon 05-May-08 11:19:52
I'm surprised the court allowed it to got through without proof of any financial settlement in place especially with children involved. Did you use mediation or have anything in writing ?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Freckle on Mon 05-May-08 11:20:58
Did you not have solicitors acting for you when you divorced? I don't see how anyone can get divorced without all financial matters being resolved at that time. If your decree absolute has already been applied for and granted, you may be snookered in some respects as your rights to claim against your ex-h end with the DA.

What was agreed regarding the children and property at the time of the divorce?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 11:21:52
sadly no i have nothing in writing, i was relying on his good will and that has gone now! i know i have been very stupid!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Freckle on Mon 05-May-08 11:27:54
Did you do the divorce yourselves? Even if you did, it is highly unlikely that the court would grant a DA without evidence that the finances had been sorted, especially when there are children involved.

When you say you are divorced, do you have your decree nisi or decree absolute?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 11:34:50
absolute, and yes we did the divorce ourselves.
looking at the papers he submitted, he agreed to pay me 400 a month but now only gives me 250! and is threatening 2 stop this.
there is no mention of the house
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Freckle on Mon 05-May-08 11:39:07
Then I suggest you go and see a solicitor straight away. I'm amazed that the court would have granted the DA in these circumstances. Just shows that, choosing to save money by not using solicitors, can end up costing you far more in the long term.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Freckle on Mon 05-May-08 11:40:15
Can I ask on what grounds you applied for the divorce? If you've only been separated for 1 year, you can't have gone for 2 years' separation with consent and any other ground would imply that there is some antagonism in the divorce, so relying on his goodwill was perhaps a little optimistic.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Freckle on Mon 05-May-08 11:40:56
Oh and your ex=h isn't a solicitor, is he???
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 11:45:16
no ex is worse than a solicitor he is copper!
he was having an affair but i coudnt prove it and didnt have the funds to persue it. so i agreed for divorce on my unreasonable behaviour. basically he said we rowed a lot.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Freckle on Mon 05-May-08 11:46:24
Well, you need to get urgent legal advice because as far as I can see he's taking you for a mug.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 11:48:07
yeah he is and i feel powerless to stop him.
thanks for your help.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mumblechum on Mon 05-May-08 11:48:59
Freckle, I'm not surprised the DA was made in these circs. Once 6 weeks has elapsed since DN, the DA is processed by a clerk. There is no referral to a District Judge.

Hallmark, by getting your DA already, you have signed away your right to a death in service widow's allowance, but notwithstanding that, you should now get a solicitor to try to negotiate a settlement based on your and your husband's financial resources. If a settlement isn't possible, the matter will be referred to the court and ultimately the court will make a decision on what is fair t o everyone, especially the children.

So far as the house is concerned, it's not unusual to transfer a mat. home from joint names to the wife's name notwithstanding that the husband remains liable on the mortgage account. You can, if appropriate, indemnify him within the court order so far as his liability is concerned, and in practice, if your ex wants to get a mortgage out on another property, his application will go to the lenders underwriters who may well decide that as he is indemnified under the existing mortgage, he's a safe bet for a new mortgage.

Hope all that makes sense. I'm around for another hour or so (I'm a lawyer specialising in financial matters in divorce).
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 11:53:09
mumblechum, thanks. do i have to take this matter through the courts or can i deal with alone i have no money!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By WiiMii on Mon 05-May-08 11:55:17
Don't make the same mistake again! Get a professional to act for you.

You may be entitled to Legal Help.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Freckle on Mon 05-May-08 11:58:19
Hallmark, do you work? Or are you in receipt of any benefits? Do go and see a solicitor who will be able to advise if you are eligible for any financial assistance.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By WiiMii on Mon 05-May-08 12:01:46
And many solicitors offer a free half hour anyway. When I split with my ex I got an hour and a half of free advice (much of which conflicted surprisingly so it pays to shop around) by consulting three different solicitors. I was then eligible for Legal Help so paid nothing.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 12:02:26
i work part time, but i dont think i can get free help
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By WiiMii on Mon 05-May-08 12:04:07
How do you know? Do you earn a lot of money?

Believe me, this is not something you can scrimp on. Your (and your DC) future depends on what happens now.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mumblechum on Mon 05-May-08 12:05:40
Hi Hallmark. Go to the legal services commission website, click on eligibility calculator for "Legal Help". It'll take 5 mins and you'll then know whether you're entitled to public funding.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 12:06:12
i have had a few free setions with different solicitors and it looked bleak they estimated it would cost 20k to sort out the financial stuff. there isnt even that much equity in the property, and i believe that now we are divorced i have no claim to his pension. it is bad!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 12:06:55
thank you mumblechum i will do that now
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By WiiMii on Mon 05-May-08 12:09:17
You'll feel so much stronger if you find someone who knows what they're doing and is acting for you. As you have already divorced they won't be handling that so it is just the financial stuff to sort now.

My ex (who was in the police as well coincidentally) would have trampled all over me if I hadn't had someone acting for me.

Do not do attempt to do this alone.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mumblechum on Mon 05-May-08 12:16:02
£20k??? My most expensive nightmare case ever cost £10k (and I'm not cheap!).

Most of my cases, 95% of which are settled by negotiation, cost between £2k and £4k. If it goes to court, it can cost £6 to £9k, depending on how heavily you rely on counsel.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mumblechum on Mon 05-May-08 12:18:49
If you want a ballpark settlement estimate, I'm happy to try to work one out for you now. What I need to know is:

length of marriage

ages of you and ex

ages of children

ex's salary, your salary, how much you could earn when kids old enough

assets, ie equity in property, any endowments, any savings (yours, his, joint), same for debts.

roughly how much his pension is worth today

I've gotta run at 12.45, if you can post before then I'll try to help.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By WiiMii on Mon 05-May-08 12:20:14
You're a Very Kind Lawyer MC!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 15:34:23
mumblechum that was very kind offer i am sorry i missed it. had 2 collect the kids,if the offer is still there next time u are about that would b great thanks
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Mon 05-May-08 15:39:50
we were married 10 years
kids are 5 and 6
he gets about 35k and i get about 20k (per anum abviously)
no scope for me to work full time hours not availabe at work just now

only about 20k in the house, we had 9k of savings and he tok 5 k of that to start him off when he left
he has taken over all the debts and he says it was 10k worth
and i have no idea how much his police pension is worth he has 10 year service.
if you could look at this next time u are on that would b great and if not thanks for the offer
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By agirlandtwoboys on Mon 05-May-08 23:34:04
So what you gonna do Hallmark?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mumblechum on Tue 06-May-08 15:35:06
Hi Hallmark, sorry for delay was in Court all morning.

I don't know where in the country you are and therefore what house prices are like, but I'd assume that if you sold your house and kept all the equity, there's no way you'd be able to buy anything as, assuming your p/t earnings are £10k, the max you could borrow would be £30k. Therefore, if the house is sold you'd have to go into rented.

You may want to think about a Mesher order. That's where the house is transferred into the wife's name (your ex's name would have to stay on the mortgage account even though it'd be off the deeds - see my reply of 11.48 yesterday for details). However the husband isn't losing out altogether as he keeps an interest in the house, secured by a charge (just like a second mortg.)

You and the children stay in the house till the youngest is 18 (or, if earlier, you remarry). At that point, the house is sold and the equity divided, depending on who's been paying the mortgage for all those years.

Either you pay all the mortgage payts (you'd prob. have to convert it to interest only, and/or work f.t when the children are old enough) in which case you'd keep the vast majority of the equity, or if your ex contributes part of the mortgage by way of paying you spousal maintenance, then the share out of capital at the end may be closer to 50/50.

So for example, if your house is worth £200k with £180k mortgage, the payments on interest only will be about £900 per month. If you manage to pay all that from your salary/tax credits/child maintenance/child benefit then you'd expect, when the house sells in 13 years time, to get about 90% of the equity. If your ex pays spousal maintenance of say £450 per month, thereby in a roundabout way paying half the mortgage, then he'd expect to get about 30 to 35% of the equity, assuming he still earns more than you.

So that's what I'd advise on the capital side.

So far as income is concerned, you may or may not get spousal maintenance, it depends on how much of a gap there is between what you have coming in and going out, and whether your ex can reasonably afford to help you bridge that gap.

He has to pay 20% of his net income to you by way of child maintenance whatever happens.

You haven't necessarily shot yourself in the foot in terms of the pension by getting your DA. The pension is probably going to be worth quite a bit, and you can either get a pension sharing order whereby part of it (roughly half) is transferred from his fund into yours, or you can use it as a bargaining tool, ie say he can keep his pension so long as you can get all of the equity/a Mesher order/spousal maintenance.

If you haven't got a lawyer yet, I'd recommend you go to www.resolution.org.uk to find a specialist locally.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Tue 06-May-08 21:18:50
mumblechum thank you so much this has been a great help i am off 2 the solicitors 2morrow and armed with this information feel much more powerful
thanks
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hallmark on Tue 06-May-08 21:21:09
oh and mumblechum thanks for replying it ment a lot i know u didnt have 2 u seem busy enough wit your own work stuff
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mumblechum on Tue 06-May-08 21:28:41
No probs, Hallmark.

At the moment I'm waiting anxiously at home to see whether my 13 yr old ds's band has won Battle of the Bands. Picking him up in an hour.....
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By taken4granted on Wed 07-May-08 19:04:13
mumblechum where were you a couple of months go when my exp walked out on me and my daughter (7yr old)?????????? I have a sol with the help of legal aid but know I will still have to pay albeit a lower cost I earn ^k per annum he earns £5555 oer month Net plus non guranteed bonuses the last one being december of £21500 net - we have a jt mortgage which he pays for and gives me £900 per month in addition he says he'll pay themortgage for 12 months then wants to sell - can I get the full equity as I wont be able to get a mortgage on £6000 pa _ I live in Surrey the avge house price round here is £270k for a 2 bed flat/house in a not very nice area we probably have c £230k equity max in the property so even with full equity Ill be hard pushed to find somewhere suitable round here to live in 12 months - also ( Ive applied for WFTC and CTC) but dont know how much Ill get) if I have to leave the area to buy another house Ill have to leave my job and then probably wont get any benefit at all as I would effectively resign Im in a no win situation - any help here would be gratefully received
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mumblechum on Wed 07-May-08 19:23:22
HI TFG. You have a good argument for keeping all the equity as your ex earns £5.5pm net, which I think grosses up to around £100k plus bonus. Otherwise, you may be able to stay in the house. What's your sol. advising? (it's a bit difficult for me as I don't know all the ins and outs of your situ and don't want to step on your sols. toes!)
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By taken4granted on Wed 07-May-08 20:09:46
HI - we arent married together almost 14 yrs jt mortgage and I contributed 50% equally to everything when working had dd 7 yrs ago and was sahm for a long time - got this job P?T i earn 6k per annum gross term time only school hrs which is ideal given dds age ( shes hd enought to go through last couple of months without me finding a f/t job and childcare as well) he says hell pay mtge for 12 months andin addition to £900 maintenence for dd then he wants to sell house he currently sees her once a fortnight on a sat 10 - 5 and calls her 3 x a week. He rents his new place and has a serious amt of money stashed away in various accounts he owns outright a porsche 911 worth c£18k and leads an extravagant lifestyle when its spending on himself (never on us as a family though) I have zilch savings and my only saving grace is Im on the mortgage in Jt names so entitled to 50% equity) he says he wants to sell the house in 12 months and will let me have 50% equity which as I said before wont buy a garage nr where we live in mid surrey/hants border, let alone a 2 bed house. Solicitor has said I might be able to go for other 50% equity n dds name till shes 18 under childrens act but as Im on legal aid it might not go through. My big concerns are I will have no chance of getting a mortgage when the house is sold due to low income cant use maintenance as egs for mortgage purposes and will so have to look geographically elsewhere to live and then will have to find a new job dd will have to leave her school and friends and will not be able to see dad as we will be living far away - hes allready threatened not to pay me any money unless I agree to his demands (overnight stays shes not ready wont sleep in her own bed and when she speaks to him or sees him she has a night terror - shes also fighting at school all since he left us 2 months ago. that covers the main points
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mumblechum on Wed 07-May-08 21:16:19
Oh dear. That's the problem of not getting married, unfortunately.

As your sol will have told you, you have only extremely limited rights, and obviously no claim for spousal mtce, pension sharing, etc.

I see your solicitor has discussed making an application under Schedule 1 of the Children Act That's where the house is retained for the benefit of the child until aged 18, and then it's sold and the equity divided equally.

It's not often used, but I have on occasion threatened a Schedule 1 application, and the ex has caved in rather than take it to court.

If the only thing putting you off a Schedule 1 application is that you may want to move in the future, you can have a portability clause put into the court order.

If I were in your position I'd be seriously considering getting an extension to your legal aid to cover an application.

So far as the contact difficulties are concerned, I'd suggest that the two of you try mediation to help you make the arrangements. Even if your dd is reluctant at the moment, it's really important for you to encourage contact, as in the long term, children who do have positive relationships with both parents tend to do much better. I appreciate that that may be really difficult for you to deal with at the moment, and again your solicitors should be able to give you info on agencies who are there to help in these circs.

Good luck.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By taken4granted on Wed 07-May-08 23:17:47
do I ask my solicitor to apply for an extension then for this application? would I have to sell the house for the application for his equity in my dd name or could I do that anyway? - I cant afford to pay the mortgage myself without his help and I seriously doubt he would pay anything if the equity was transferred to dd's name he has said he may consider contributing towards a mortgage for me at a lter date but not said how much and that eefectively makes him jt owner anyway of any future property wouldnt it? secondly I doubt anything he says now as I have just received his bank statements unbeknown to him and it appears hes been having an affair for quite sometime despite him saying no one else is involved if he can lie to me about that he can certainly lie to me about what he may or may not do in the future - tbh I just want to make a fresh start elsewhere and if that means he would have a deferred interest in a property I might live in then so be it I dont want to have to rely on him for keeping a roof over our heads like he is at the moment. I am happy to go to mediation i doubt he would especially if I make an application under the children act. I appreciate what you say about regular contact however Im reluctant to make her do something she doesnt want to do ( I suggested he buy her a hamster which he has done this w/e which has helped her wanting to see him but she doesnt want to go overnight to his at all)


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