DS (4) has just been invited to his first school party . He has mild SN - no problems with behaviour over and above his age, but 1 year behind with his speech and understanding of language, so would prefer to stay at the party to keep an eye on him. At 4 do you normally stay with the kids anyway, so I wouldn't need to explain all about DS language problems?

does the other mum know about your ds needs? When I've had kids over with sn I've checked with the other mum what I should need or prepare.

I have DS 3.5 with around 1 yr dev delay. I always stay and will stay for the next few years at least.

DS gets distressed by loud noises - poppers, blowers etc.

If they are in class together birthday child's mum may already know about S&L probs?

loads of other mums will be staying too, dont worry

IME almost everybody stays at that age, anyway. Ds (4.5) is NT and it wouldn't occur to me to leave him.

Congratulations for being invited !!!! How lovely.

My 4yo's party was a couple of months ago, and she's been to a few other 4th birthdays since. At all those parties, the majority of parents stayed with their kids. Those that didn't made sure that a specific other parent was looking out for their child, someone they knew, rather than justing leaving them for the host to deal with. Obviously at just turning 4 they're not at school yet, so they are just a little younger.

JUST leaving them,where did that 'ing' come from?

thanks all. DS doesn't need anything special other than extra patience/simple language and gestures explaining things he can't work out from seeing what the other kids are doing - so between me and his friends from class that are there, there shouldn't be any problems. I've been to a couple of other parties with DS where the parents have been my friends and as long as I've been around to steer him appropriately all has been OK.

I'm one of those somewhat 'ridiculous' mums who invite the whole class to my children's parties - SN or not. The parties so far have been at soft play centres. One of my insistence is that a child's relative stays with the child for the whole of the party, whether or not they have a SN.

I believe I speak for quite a lot of mums. So please stay with your child if they are under 7 regardless. It's unfair to expect the host to look out for them.