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Mumsnet Discussions: Parenting : Trying not to judge but failing miserably (26 messages)
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Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By CrackerOfNuts on Thu 15-May-08 19:38:55
I was just out the front saying godbye to a friend and her dc, when a taxi pulls up, two lads about 19ish get out and go into next doors house.

Next thing a girl of about 18 gets out of the taxi and is absolutly off her face on something, she had no clue where she was or anything. She stumbled up to us trying to say something, and then the two lad came out of the house and pushed made her get back in the car.

That was bad enough, but then they all jump out of the car and start shouting a girls name. My mate asked who they were looking for and they said they'd had a little girl with them, 5 yrs old. The drugged up woman in the car hadn't even noticed that the little girl had got out and wandered off.

We managed to find her, she'd wandered down to the play area, but ffs, what the hell was she doing out with any of them in that state, poor girl.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By georgiemama on Thu 15-May-08 19:40:16
I totally agree with you, its a shocker, but be careful with any form of judgment expressed on MN about other people's parenting abilities. Or expressing any form of opinion about anything.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Lulumama on Thu 15-May-08 19:41:15
that would have been an appopriate time to judge
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By beansmum on Thu 15-May-08 19:41:16
shock what did you do?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By CrackerOfNuts on Thu 15-May-08 19:41:19
Oh don't worry, have been here long enough to know that I might get jumped on by someone about it. Have quite a thick skin now, and stand by my OP smile
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By kittywise on Thu 15-May-08 19:42:34
I'm sure they're really good people and excellent parents/caretakers of children.

Or perhaps they are a bunch of useless good for nothing sh*ts
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By CrackerOfNuts on Thu 15-May-08 19:42:55
We helped them look for the girl.

The drugged up woman stumbled around the street until she was found and then they all jumped in taxi and drove off.

It all happened rather quickly tbh. Thankfully the two lads appeared to be on this planet at least.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By CrackerOfNuts on Thu 15-May-08 19:44:32
To be fair, the bloke who I assume was her dad (as they looked liek peas in a pod), was very panic struck and upset, but still, why the hell have her out with people like that ??
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By theAfkaUrbanDryad on Thu 15-May-08 19:45:35
How do you know the lads hadn't spiked the girl with rohypnol or something?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By CrackerOfNuts on Thu 15-May-08 19:47:16
Oh here we go.

I don't know that UrbanDyrad, just as you don't know that they had.

I think knowing the area I live in, and the fact that they all knew each other, etc etc, that I am in a better position to tell than you, and so I seriously doubt that she'd been drugged by the men.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Lulumama on Thu 15-May-08 19:48:21
spiked or not, a 5 year old child was not being cared for adequately. that is frightening, regardless of the circumstances of how the parent became off her face.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By theAfkaUrbanDryad on Thu 15-May-08 19:48:38
Oh don't get me wrong - i think it's entirely likely she was off her head on something.

I was just playing devil's advocate really. The girl's dad shouldn't've left his daughter with the drugged up girl IMO
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By theAfkaUrbanDryad on Thu 15-May-08 19:49:16
yes - completely agree lulu.

Judge away.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By CrackerOfNuts on Thu 15-May-08 19:50:09
No exactly.

Hope to god that the drugged up woman was not the mother.

Also a bit confused and concerned that the two blokes went next door. I knew they were slightly dodgy nextdoor, but didn't think they were into drug dealing. Hopefully they were just there buying fags.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By CrackerOfNuts on Thu 15-May-08 19:50:47
It is just horrid to think of that little girl in that type of company.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Lulumama on Thu 15-May-08 19:54:10
makes the judginess about sausage rolls and froot shoots really quite tame, when you see what real neglect is.

bloody awful, CoN
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By theAfkaUrbanDryad on Thu 15-May-08 19:54:24
Buying imported duty-free tobacco is still illegal!! wink

<<removes devil's advocate hat>>
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By tiredemma on Thu 15-May-08 19:57:12
On my last placement I walked past two blokes sat outside a spar shop with a young girl (aged about 5).
The blokes were both pissed, proper pissed- this was about 9am in the morning, it was freezing and the girl had only a thin jacket on

It was incredibly hard not to judge.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By theAfkaUrbanDryad on Thu 15-May-08 20:06:12
sad
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By CrackerOfNuts on Thu 15-May-08 20:08:08
Exactly Lulumama
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By mumof2fabkids on Thu 15-May-08 20:57:04
I would seriously call Social Services, just to log your concerns, it's called Safeguarding Unit, and your info is just another piece of what might be a scary puzzle for that poor little kid. Too many shite parents nowadays getting way with all kinds.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By CrackerOfNuts on Thu 15-May-08 20:58:09
How can i call SS ? I have no names, apart from the little girls first name, and no address or anything. I have no info to give them.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By mumof2fabkids on Thu 15-May-08 21:14:05
And her description, and that of drugged girl and "dad", approx. age of little girl, address of next door, there's all kinds of "soft" information logged nowadays by schools, members of the public, housing associations etc
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By tiredemma on Thu 15-May-08 21:19:12
mumof2fabkids- have you made a call to Social Services recently? I phoned to report something and was subjected to nothing short of an inquisition, and I knew the name and address of the child involved.

its not really so easy to report, and even when you do- they do bugger all about it.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By mumof2fabkids on Thu 15-May-08 21:30:49
Yes, I have unfortunately, otherwise I wouldn't suggest something as serious as this. The things I have suggested is what they asked me when I twice witnessed something while I was out with the kids. I was really shocked and so called them to report it. As previously stated by another person, it's not about being judgemental nowadays, its about neglect.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By tiredemma on Thu 15-May-08 21:36:32
did they do anything? ( not getting at you by the way- im just pissed off at our local SS)


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