In other words, did you have them close in age because of money issues?

I am a SAHM to a 9-month old DD and would like to stay at home with her and a future sibling (we hope) until approx school age. Obviously this means I am out of the workplace so we are thinking that a 2-year age gap might work well in terms of me being able to earn again sooner rather than later. Our house is tiny and we can't afford to move to a bigger house until I earn again. It would mean being cramped for the early years.

Alternatively, if there is a bigger age gap I could perhaps earn some money before stopping again to have DC2. But if we had a bigger mortgage by then I might not be able to stay at home.

What do you think?

Also, what is a two-year age gap like in reality? It sounds damned tough!

Hi nl,

I have a 11-week DS and we already want another! We are thinking of an 18-month gap purely because DH and I both have siblings who are 5 and 4 years younger than us respectively and we feel that such a big age gap really doesn't help the siblings bond as I remember I would be leaving a phase while my brother was entering it! Everyone thinks we are mad to even want to think of having two in nappies but that's not really important is it? You will cope when it comes down to it!

I think it really depends on what you work as. Will you work skills become obselete the longer you stay out of the workplace? I work in IT and that's a consideration! But I always think it might not be something I will continue working in iykwim. I don't think money is THAT crucial a factor. I didn't have very much as a child but was relatively happy (except for my parents not being there as I was brought up by my grandma. They were both working). Now my DS has toys coming out of his ears but I hope what he remembers about his childhood is his mummy being always there for him, which I did not have. GL!

Ax

For me, health was a major issue as my second pregnancy had to be deferred until my doctor had decided it was safe to have another one. And then it took longer to fall pregnant than I'd bargained on. 3 1/2 year gap between mine, not too bad.

I have a 19 month gap between my dcs, and I was in an almost identical situation to you. We always felt that we wanted children close together, as playmates etc; but yes, another deciding factor was that it would mean me being away from work for less time.

Thanks. I'd love people's views of the pros and cons of having children close in age.

i think these decisions are kind of bogus because life is not that straightforward.
we had DS1 and then waited 3 1/2 years before we had DS2 so that I could take a maternity/career break and be at home with them for a while.
DS2 then developed SN and I have never gone back. We had DD when Ds1 was 10 and DS2 was 7.
I would not have planned it but it works. I love it. DS1 babysits and they are all best friends - no fighting for the same attention.
A friend planned to have three really quickly and has three under 5 and really hates it.
Of course you also have the issue that babies tend to come when they want to and not when you plan.

We've found that the WOHMs that we know tend to have 3/4/5 year age gaps and the SAHMs have 2 years or less. I think that the costs of two in nursery must be crippling for WOHMs. I'm a SAHM, and it was certainly a factor for us to have two close together, as I don't want to be out of the workplace for too long. In just over 5 years time hopefully I'll be back at work and we'll "only" have to pay for two lots of after school care and holiday clubs. We also had other considerations though, mostly my age and the fact that I had needed so much fertility treatment to have DD (whereas this pregnancy we hit the jackpot first time ).

I'll let you know how tough a 2 year age gap is at the end of the year.

I have 2 18 months apart and love the gap, I am due to have another one in 2 months as well so 4 years start to finish.

I love the small gap especially as they are getting a bit older now.

We decided to say sod it to the financial aspect of having children, 3 is going to be more of a struggle but we thought oh we will get by and I don't think you will ever regret another LO in your life.

As for work I'll think about that another day.