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I just wanted to get this down really - not sure why but thought someone may have some constructive comments
I took DD swimming this morning but the pool wasn't open when we got htere and we had to wait 20 minutes. While waiting I noticed a mum a little boy of around 3. The boy was running riot - screaming, shouting, banging on tables, running round etc. She was trying to calm her child down but having no luck - in fact the more she tried the worse he became. Eventually I went over and asked if there was anything I could do to help and the poor woman burst into tears and said he had ADHD and she's had no sleep, she was a single mum and she'd had enough. In the end I told her to go and sit in the cafe and I'd look after him for a while and try to calm him down. (the cafe had a glass window and she was able to see what was going on all the time by the way)
She did go and he almost immediately calmed down and started playing with my DD. We went and stood in the queue and I got a ticket for everyone then delivered him back to his mum. The lady at the desk told me that they'd had to throw him out because of his behaviour a few days ago and were close to doing so again before I intervened. As soon as he saw his mum he went crazy again and started hitting her. This carried on in the changing rooms but he was totally calm as soon as he got in the water.
His poor mum was so upset especially by the fact that he calmed down so fast when she walked away and I felt so inadequate when I could only say that our children always seem to reserve their worst behaviour for us.
Poor thing. You are right that our kids seem to reserve the worst for us! It's like we're their punchbag. It's because we're safe, imo. Not that knowing that makes it feel any better!
You did a very good thing. Do you think you'll see her again? Maybe invite her round or yes, tell her about mumsnet.
Sounds like she's at the end of her tether. Poor woman. Sadly, kids can sense this - they pick up when you're stressed or upset and it agitates them, making you more stressed...it's a vicious circle.
In theory, there's lots you can do to help her, depending on how she feels about accepting help and support and the level of involvement you are comfortable with. OTOH, of course, you might never bump into her again, but at least you know you did a very good thing. I bet you made a hell of a difference to her day.
Poor mum! Children are sooo good at knowing when someone doesn't feel confident or in control of a situation and it scares them I suppose so they act out. Wish that other mums were as brave as you, milliec. I'd worry the mum would throw my offer of help in my face!
Hecate I think you may be right her DS was picking up her distress. I know from the fact DP works away 4 nights a week that its hard being the only one who's there for your DC but being a single mum is a thousand times tougher.
One of the things she said was that because her son is so often badly behaved other mums shy away from him and won't let their children play with him. Given the way he played so well with DD trying to teach her nursery rhymes I think its really sad people couldn't see past the behaviour.
One thing I did manage to tell her though that she didn't know was that she could get him a few hours a week in nursery and the government would pay. I told her to ask next time she was at the job centre and they'd help sort it out (I thought she was going to kiss me LOL)
Hope I see her again I liked her and DD appeared to like her DS
That really is such a lovely thing to do,it makes such a difference that someone notices and empathises in such situations, hope you bump into that lady again. DD can be a bit of a mare and all I usually get is tuts or the very occasional sympathetic expression. (old ladies excluded they seem to love her) lol
Ladies don't want praise. I didn't ever expect any and it was the last thing on my mind when I posted. (thought its nice to have it LOL)
I think I really wanted ideas about how I can help her or others in a similar situation in the future (remembering please I have a full time job and look after my DD by myself half the week sometimes more)
Feed your family Fabulous fish cakes for a fiver. With our Fabulous fish cakes recipe you really can feed your whole family a delicious meal for less than a fiver. This is just one of five brand new purse-friendly recipes from Sainsbury’s. Take a look!
It's because we're safe, imo. Not that knowing that makes it feel any better!
