I had planned on taking time off to do some work at home this week but only mentioned it to my boss last week after I had a miscarriage. I am now being told I can take time as compassionate leave rather than holiday. While it would be nice to keep my holiday days, I feel a bit of a fraud as I had planned on taking the time off anyway. Moral Dilemma - what would you do?

I think that it would do you no harm whatsoever to take a week off due to mc regardless of what you had previously planned.

I would take the time as compassionate leave and be very, very grateful that you have an understanding boss.

sorry you had the mc.

Take the time off and be grateful for having a very understanding boss- you need time to heal physically and mentally after a miscarriage, when I had an ectopic pregnancy I was told that I would get paid at my bosses discrection she decided not to pay me!!!!! Needless to say I left straight after the birth of my son!!!! I hope you are ok!!!

Take it as compassionate leave. You need to recover physically and emotionally as Kiansmummy says. That's hardly a holiday!

It's the fact that I work for such an understanding company that I feel bad.

Don't feel bad. I know from experience that you need time to recover from a miscarriage.

Purlease - I'm so sorry for your loss

I was given 2 weeks sick leave, it made all the difference to have a bit of time to myself, recover fully, have a bit of a rest, do some gardening, etc.

If you still feel bad, why not put yourself in your manager's shoes - if you were managing a woman who had just had a mc you would want to do what you could to help support her. my colleagues were amazing when I had my mc - it was great that they were so supportive, and it made a good opportunity for me to thank them (my boss esp.) for being great. maybe sending a nice thank you note for the support / box of lovely biscuits to share when you return as a pick-me-up at tea break would make you feel less bad.

take time for yourself, and good luck to you

Have just spoken to HR - just need to get GP to sign me off. Physically I feel fine but as anyone that has gone through this knows, it is the emotional side of things that takes a bit longer and is a bit harder to heal.

Thanks all for your support.

don't feel bad. I'm sure if you hadn't had a mc, you would've been doing lots of lovely things on your holiday that you won't necessarily feel up to now. Take what you've been offered - you deserve it.

I was on sick leave and had booked x3 days annual leave during that period. I can tell you I was doubly grateful to take those days a month after my return to get me through first few weeks of being back. Don't feel bad, your compassionate was definately not holiday leave

Don't feel bad, or at least don't feel guilty - about that. You need time off to recover. I'm glad you have such a sympathetic boss, I fear not everyone does.

So sorry for your loss. Yes, take it as compassionate leave - you'll need the time to recover, and in a way I think being signed off helps you accept the need to take time and heal - if that makes any sense?

Hi purlease - as you know, I'm going through this myself right now... I felt a bit of a fraud as not physically ill, and my boss had been so lovely and supportive... But boy do I need this 2nd week - I am up and down like a blinking yo-yo! One minute I feel fine, the next am a big sobbing wreck... So (getting to the point) take the time off, be grateful that they have offered it - and take time to heal - work will still be there when you get back - but hopefully you'll have benefitted from the time away... Don't feel guilty... Take care of you x