Thank you all so much for being so honest. Its really helped to read about your experiences....and to give me an insight into the things to say (and NOT to say). napa Im so sorry this is so recent for you.

I just wish I could sort it all out for her

Thanks again everyone x

this happened at my scan on monday. i had ERPC on tues so I don't know about the tablets bit but the best things people have said is that they don't know what to say but sorry and that they're there any time I need them whenever I am ready.

the people that either carried on as if not much had changed or the ones that said never mind you'll be pregnant again soon were the ones that I'm trying to avoid now.

its great that you are thinking of your sister at this time and thats something she will appreciate. my thought are with her this week

I didn't have to take anything to speed it all up because I had already started bleeding by the time I went in for my scan, but I had a similar situation, I should've been 11 weeks but the baby measured about 7. I bled for about 10 days in total, I think, although there were only about 3-4 days of heavy bleeding. Not that much more than a heavy period, except for the night the sac passed. That night I had very strong cramps that made me stop whatever I was doing/saying and grab DH's hand to squeeze. They came in waves. I spent most of the night in the bathroom and twice felt quite a lot of pressure and then a gush. I'm sorry if this is all TMI, but I thought I would've liked to have known what to expect before it happened to me.

I'm not sure there's anything you can say that will make her feel better - I felt overwhelmed and drained and just tired emotionally when it happened. But you can definitely be there for her and listen to her. She might feel like she doesn't ever want to be pregnant again right now, she might change her mind later, or she might not, but I think it's a good idea to stay away from phrases like "You could try again" - for me that was the worst to hear, even though DH and I agreed that we would TTC again right away. But when you're in the middle of it, I couldn't think beyond it all - to me there was more bleeding, a possible TTC, waiting to get my cycle back, etc. Lots to happen before we could TTC again.

Anyway, just be there for her and assure her that she's not being punished for anything that's happened now or in the past(I think that's the most important bit). She's very lucky to have you.

I have had a miscarriage and its more emotional pain than anything else..i went through the motions and the feelings of being punished i can sympathise with! You question everything you did, drank, touched..what was it that i did to cause this?..the answer is simply nothing at all..its just nature! And trust me there really isnt much you can say to comfort her..all you can do is listen, be there for her to cry on and hug her! As for the tablet, i was never given 1 as i had a d&c with both miscarriages and i bled very heavily for 2 weeks..of course its different for everyone. Shes lucky to have you, as i dont think my dh understood me at all and mil didnt help by saying silly things like "it wasnt meant to be" which you just dont want to hear at that point. And i did go on to have 2 more healthy children so there is light at the end of the tunnel, i do hope she doesnt give up on having a baby..love to your sister kissie!

I had a D&C so a bit different. you could get her painkillers, she might be crampy, and buy her pads for her. It's horrible to have to go and buy them after a MC. Sorry she's so sad. I found that it takes a few weeks for your hormones to settle, so she'll feel out of sorts. You must be a lovely sister

I've not been there, but she is lucky to have such a caring sister. I would imagine that just being there for her is the most important thing.

So sorry for your family.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.