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He says it is pretentious and disputes it is a real name . He doesnt like my second choice either. He is a lovely man and usually gives in but he is sticking on this. He wants no. 3 below, I want 1 or 2, although I like 3 too.
I think you have to find a name you both like. Would you really want him to "give in" and name is child a name he did not like? Would you "give in" in such circumstances?
There must be a name you both like. I love Anna and Sylvia is sweet.
My own personal opinion of Esme is similar to your DH's. But that is irrelevant, it is what you both feel that is important.
Well it has to be a joint decision really, doesn't it. If he really dislikes your first 2 options then unless you can gently persuade him then imo you have to discount them. We drew up a list of all the names we BOTH liked and then chose.
Esme is a real name, I remember having a friend Esme more then 20 years ago. But if he doesn't like it, then you have to take it off your list! You can't choose a name he hates - how would you feel if he chose a name you hate?
Esme is a real name, ~I was at school with one 20 years ago. Also, there's a novel "For Esme - With Love and Squalor" by JD Sallinger (he of Catcher in the Rye fame) written in the 1950s-ish.
But besides all that, shouldn't names have mutual agreement?
i love the name esme, my 7 week old is called ismay which comes from that name(my name and dd1s name start with e so didnt want anymore to)do agree though that you and your dh have to agree on it
You have to compromise, if he usually gives in and is sticking on this one then he really doesn't like it! Don't force it.Go for 3 which is similar and still has same second name. My 3 DSs have different names from the ones that I would have chosen on my own but I still like them. You will be surprised once they are here they seem to suit them better!
Really sorry but you have to agree!! My dh and I loathed the other one's choices for dds so neither of us had our first choice - that's life I'm afraid!
You have to agree on a name. Dh has vetoed at least 5 of my favourite names, but there are still some that we both like. I'd say you are doing quite well to agree on your third choice.
1. Esme Anna - I like Esme but I wouldn't put Anna after it. There will be an Esmeanna out there soon.
2. Sylvia Mary - This is beautiful. I really love this one. My son was to have been Sylvie Nina or Sylvia Pearl if he'd been a girl.
3. Elspeth Anna - I wouldn't choose this myself as Elspeth is a bit clunky but I really respect the name as a whole iykwim. Elsa would make a lovely nn for Elspeth. Anna 'pretties up' Eslpeth though.
I like Lois, Polly, Greta and Nancy and Margot which I see as being in tune with your taste. just a few more suggestions.
Esme was my cat's name. Irrelevant but I don't like it for human beings (someone else suggested it to the cat when we first got her and it was the only one she reacted to). And agree the final 'e' against the initial 'a' of Anna is clumsy.
Sylvia is lovely but if you both like Elspeth, why not go for it? Some people think Elspeth is old-fashioned but older names are making a comeback - Ivy, Sydney, etc. etc. etc.
Apologies but Esme is far from pretentious (very much in the other direction TBH) it's very popular in the area where my friend lives as a name for cats and dogs. Sylvia reminds me of my mothers older sister (bleached blonde, fag hanging permanently from bottom puckered lip, every other word an 'f'), and Elspeth is just wrong (very old maiden aunt).
I like Esme - but if dh doesn't then you really have to drop it - sorry. Names are usually a bit of a compromise - I still faintly regret the Rowan I never had but dp really didn't like it.
Elspeth is nice - but remember that Ellie is VERY popular so there'll be lots.
Thanks for the responses! Especially the suggestions to put into the mix.
Yes know really that I will have to leave Esme as DH entitled to his opinion and cant have him shouting a name he hates in the supermarket for the next 20 years.
May have to rethink Elspeth also as I do have a great aunt of that name and she is actually a very difficult and quite outrageous person (she married an eminent religious man and when he died wrote a book exposing him as gay which was shocking in those days apparently).
I will continue lobbying for Sylvia Mary as Sylvie for short is lovely but Sylv does conjure up quite a rough 60 year old with a cockney accent and smokers cough.
I never slag off other people's name choices, but I feel defensive of Esme because I know a lovely one who could not be less pretentious, and it is a real name!
I adore Esme, it's a pretty and classic name, however I got one of those dreadful eternal mental links after reading Saki - grimly sardonic story, huge repercussions on naming choices
You both have Anna in your preferences so why not go for that, a lovely, classic name. I like Esme and Sylvia/Sylvie as well but if he really hates a name you'll have to compromise. have to say am not keen on Elspeth but Elsa/Elsie/Elise are nice.
Why not Anna as a first name? Seems to be the name you do both like, plus it is classic yet still sounds fresh today. It's pretty too.
Have to say that Elspeth although a great name in its own right, isn't as pretty as some of the other old-fashioned names ie Charlotte or Harriet. It would be hard to carry off. Agree though that Elsa is lovely for short.
I was at school with and Esme. She was built like a brick shit-house and teh name diodnt suit her at all. I know a little Esme now how is gorgeous but her grandparents are from the W Mids and she's called Esmoi by them <shudder> Never been keen on Sylvia. It's very 1970s sitcom to me. Elspeth is lovely tho.
I love the name Esme. It's gorgeous. I don't like Anna personally, but it's ok for a middle name. Sylvia Mary is great! Before we knew we were having a boy Sylvia was top of the list for a girl. She would have been named after Sylvia Plath, my fave poet. And Sylvia means 'from the forest', which I think is beautiful. I don't mind the name Elspeth, but wouldn't use it personally as my nan's name is Elsbeth (she is German, so maybe it's a German thing) and we agreed not to name any kids after family members.
I told DH I'd hold my breath till I got to use my choice of name, and the bar steward let me.
I distinctly remember scribbling in eyeliner on the back of an envelope "This might harm the baby" - all he said was "Naughty Mummy" - it stinks when they won't play fair and just let you choose the name in return for carrying the child, I think (the peevedness is alway close to the surface with me.....)
chuffing I completely agree but what's worse is my dh now LIKES the name I was desperate for when pg with dd2 and all the reasons he gave me for not liking it are still fresh in my memory so not sure about using it this time if a girl, sigh, they shouldn't be allowed to play games with your mind
My dd has a friend called Esme. I just asked dd if the friend likes it, and she says she loves it, except that everyone says Esmie instead of Esmey and that really winds her up. Don't know if this contributes to the conversation at all.....!
my dd is called esme, i obviously don't think it is pretentious! we chose it as dd's father is half french and it was/used to be a popular french name apparently so his nanna says! though we spell it the british way! don't know if that helps, but people always say what a lovely name and how its unusual to hear it now, at least round here anyway. love sylvie too it is my cousins daughters name!
I really like all of those names, apart from Mary.
My partner wasn't over-keen on my choice of Tabitha but he kind of slackened off a bit on the objections after he'd seen me give birth and that is what my daughter is called. So you could always hang on a bit and hope he comes round?
I'm guessing you're not a Terry Pratchett fan then? I, too, think of Esme Weatherwax (aka Granny Weatherwax, very formidable witch who can inhabit the minds of other creatures) when I see that name.
I also would definitely pronounce it Ez-may. I just wouldn't give it to a child, and neither should you, imho, if your dh really doesn't like it. When approaching the choice of name for our dd, my dh and I agreed to each draw up a list of possibles. Each of us had absolute right to veto any name on the other's list.
Well, you have a lovely shortlist so one way or another your daughter will get a fab name.
I would only go for Esme if you and your husband are both good-looking and likely to have a very pretty child. As Cali says, it's not a name that sits well on the brick shit-house type of woman.
I love Esme and it's what we are calling our baby girl when she arrives. It is a proper name and I obviously don't think it's pretentious. Dp wasn't convinced when I suggested it for ds (just aswell he was a boy!) but 'came round' this time, although he never said he hated it, he just wanted another name which fortunately we can't have now. I'm not sure you could convince your dh if he hates the name. From the others I prefer Sylvie and I don't mind Elsie/Elsa.
I'm not keen on Esme personally, although I'm not sure why as if dd had been the ds we were expecting he would have been Ezzie (Ezra) and peopele did ask us if that was short for Esme. Maybe I just think of it as a boy sounding name. Not sure. I wouldn't go for Elspeth either, it just doesn't run easily off my tongue, especially with Anna afterwards. I think I'd choose something softer sounding, but of course how the whole name sounds depends on your surname in any case. However that's all a bit irrelevant anyway. I think you have to scrap any names that either of you don't like, and to be honest the reasons why you don't like it don't really matter. My parents did a very complicated shortlisting process for us, using a babyname book ending up with a list they both liked. That way they only discussed names that were good for both of them. Also having a longer list to choose from makes it less of a competition about who gets to choose IYSWIM.
Actually, it is not French. IF it were French or if it had come from French it would be Esmée. It is a feminine pet form of the name Edmund, first popularised in Scotland!
Just because it sounds French doesn't mean it is. It's a very common misconception though.
I thought that Esme with an acute accent (not sure where they are on the keyboard) is the old French version for boys, and Esmee with an acute accent the old French for girls. And in Victorian times Esme (acute accent) was unisex - so Saki's hyena, which someone mentioned earlier down the thread - was called Esme because they didn't know its sex. (the hyena which ate the toddler, that was a memorable story)
There was a male French writer called Esme (acute accent) something or other, I believe.
Then again, just because it doesn't conform to modern "rules" of the language doesn't mean it does not originate from that language. My maiden surname came from Gaelic but the spelling has changed.
I've done a quick Google poll of baby name sites and most of them have it as French. One had it Greek, another British and another Latin.
My DD is Esmé . We pronounce it Esmay - that's why it has the acute accent on the final e - as in café .
It is an old french name meaning beloved and if you're being strict Esmé is the male version and Esmeé the female . There is a literary charity called the Esmeé Fairbairn Foundation .
We debated long and hard and finally decided to use the acute on our DD's name in the hope that it would help people to pronounce her name Esmay instead of Esmeee. But since my own knowledge of french is pretty limited we were probably being a bit hopeful
At the end of the day it's not really a big deal .
I also really like Sylvie - but DH wouldn't use that one 'cos he once knew a dog with that name .
. He doesnt like my second choice either. He is a lovely man and usually gives in but he is sticking on this. He wants no. 3 below, I want 1 or 2, although I like 3 too.
