We switched it off last night and it's staying off - apart from when we're downstairs of course. It was a bit more distressing cos he was crying and had got himself in a right pickle position-wise by the time I got to him, but it also meant that I could settle him back to sleep much more quickly. When I'd been intervening earlier, he was still in the mood for fun and games so it took forever to settle him. Thanks everyone for the advice. So glad we're not the only ones!

Nah Phoenix- DH and I were only saying we need to get one this week for dd- with the weather so nice, we'd like to eat dinner in the garden, but wouldn't have a chance of hearing her.
Sometimes its difficult to hear if we watch a DVD in the living room. Older houses are actually quite well built, and the sound proofing seems good in ours!
Wouldn't need it when we're in bed though...

Am i mad for still using a monitor for my 2.3yr ds? His room is on the 2nd floor so need to use it when we're downstairs because no way could we hear him with the tv on. His room is directly above ours do i really need to use it when we're in bed or am i paranoid?

We never used it upstairs, but we sleep with our bedroom door open.

like snickersnack, we only use it downstairs.

SWITCH IT OFF. You can hear him without it!

I've only ever used the monitor when we're downstairs, when you really can't hear anything, even quite loud yelling. But when I'm upstairs I wake as soon as they do - I think you're just tuned in to them and their noises. It's strange that I can sleep through dh coming home drunk, crashing around downstairs then falling into bed beside me and snoring, but the first whimper from a child has me out of bed wondering which one it was! They do make obscene amounts of noise just rustling round their cots/beds though - that would drive me crazy if I was trying to sleep!

Pinkdelight - I so know what you mean....ds is 6 months and has just moved into his own room which is just across the hall from ours but I still have the monitor on. I know I would hear him anyway but no prepared to turn it off yet.

I have a dd who is 2.10 and I only moved it from her room when ds was born.

I hope to turn it off all together soon!!

We also don't use it upstairs - have just stopped. DD is 5 months and been in her own room for about a month. This way i hear if she cries, but not if she's just shuffling about

We also don't use it upstairs - have just stopped. DD is 5 months and been in her own room for about a month. This way i hear if she cries, but not if she's just shuffling about

we keep the parent bit downstairs all the time so we can hear ds when he is upstairs and we are not. I dont use it upstairs at all but we do keep the door ajar a little just to make sure we would hear him if he wakes in the night.

I love this spidey sense idea - that's what's being amplified by having the monitor and keeping me too alert to sleep, when it would probably be working fine without. Thanks for the reassurances. I'm going to try turning it off tonight and if I feel I still need it, I'll try it on v low.

I have to admit I keep ours on even now, and dd's 4.8! I have it turned down to its lowest setting and cover it with something so the hiss doesn't keep me awake. I have turned it off sometimes if she's woken up in the night and has put her CD on or something though!

I did stop for a while though, like Mrs Tittlemouse i had like spidey-sense. But as she got older I stopped trusting that so much. Also, a couple of times I've been in bed, and boyf & i will be like, is that dd? and have to get up & listen outside her door, and then I found I couldn't relax because I'd keep listening out even if it didn't seem to be her. Also, dd doesn't always actually get up & come to me if she really needs to, sometimes she's only wailed from her bed (e.g. if she's had a bad dream) and because her room is down the hallway from mine, I worry that I might not wake up. I just feel more comfortable knowing I can hear her properly just in case!

But, you are in the room right nextdoor so I'm sure you would hear her! Esp in these early months when spidey sense is at its best!

why not just turn it down a bit so you dont hear every rustle?

like Polar we only use ours if we are downstairs and dd is upstairs and turn it off when we go to bed

I'm afraid that with our PFB we had switched it off within a month or two. She is famous within the family for the volume of her voice though, so we always knew that she could let us know if she really needed us.

To be honest, I find that I'm really quite tuned-in to hear DD (and she's a toddler now). Even with the TV on, it's like the two of us have some kind of spidey-sense that she's awake.

That's really good to know, thanks Stealth. We use it when we're downstairs too so should probably just limit it to that. But you know what it's like - over-anxious first time parents!

I only have it on if we are downstairs with the TV on and door shut. Turn it off when we go to bed (or forget, but the parent unit downstairs anyway) or I'll leave it off if we're in the kitchen with the door open.
Haven't had it on while we're in bed since well before 6 months

My ds is 7 months and has been sleeping in his own room for a month now. The room is right next to ours so I can hear if he's crying without a baby monitor, but we still use one. It's useful for hearing if he's flipped over onto his tummy and can't get back or for if he's got himself into some other crazy position, but it also wakes me up constantly whenever he makes a noise or is awake but okay and I'm starting to think I should switch it off because I'm sure I'm going in too often and should wait till he's crying before I intervene. I keep thinking that the monitor makes me react to things that my mum would never have known about with me cos monitors weren't invented. Plus I need to get some sleep! But of course I feel like a bad mum for even thinking about switching it off.

What do other mums do? If you can hear them crying anyway, is a monitor really necessary? I'm going around in circles with the arguments so would value a voice of experience.