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Mumsnet Discussions: Sleep : Please can someone help? I am desperate now. (7 messages)
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Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By ali23 on Mon 05-May-08 22:00:18
I have a beautiful daughter who has just turned one and who has never - not even once - slept through the night. On average we have two or three wakenings and I breastfeed back to sleep. I have tried alternate methods but eventually gave up because it was too exhausting as dd screamed and refused to settle. I have basically tried everything - the NCSS etc - everything bar CC but I am now on my knees with lack of sleep. She is now pushing me away after feeding at night and is then taking up to an hour to go back to sleep but won't settle in my arms, is in fact biting me constantly which is sore and frustrating. If I put her in the cot she wakes up completely, laughs and pulls herself up to walk around the cot. I am shattered and need some help. My HV has been useless - CC all the way - but I just don't feel this is something I want to do and my partner agrees. But we are out of our heads with no sleep. What can we do? Will it ever get better? Right now it feels like it's getting worse rather than better. Sorry for long, rambling post.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By avenanap on Mon 05-May-08 22:03:15
If you are very desperate you can get some medicine from the GP to make her sleep. I was given some for my ds but never used it so I suffered. I'm probably going to get slated for suggesting this but you could try it for a few nights until you feel better then think of something else.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Nocca on Mon 05-May-08 22:12:36
How awful for all of you. I am currently sleep deprived due to 2yo and 5m but optimistic this is temporary (fingers crossed). Am guessing you have tried all the usual advice of no protein before bed, good soothing routine (bath, story, calm voices, softly lit rooms etc)? If you're bf before bed it could be that she's waking hungry if supply has dropped? That happened with my eldest but he had been sleeping through then started waking, we worked out that it was hunger when we went away overnight and I expressed a tiny 3oz!

However, I suspect she is now waking from habit so if you've tried everything to induce and support sleep and she still wakes it is possibly time for 'tough love'. Maybe medicate, maybe 'sleep train', just anything to break the habit as kindly as possible.

We co-sleep our toddler when he does have bad nights, been a bit more frequent recently so I mentioned to HV who told me I was rewarding bad behaviour!!!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Reesie on Tue 06-May-08 08:23:14
My lo has been an appalling sleeper. I was utterly, utterly exhausted. I started co-sleeping with her as I was so shattered getting up.

Initially - I couldn't sleeo well with her in the bed with me but within a week I got used to it.

I found that she really does sleep more and if she does start to stir, a few taps and 'shhhh' will get her back quite quickly where as if she was in her own cot she would have woken up completely by the time I had heard her and got to her. She would then be really hard work to get back to sleep (It would take exactly 2 hours each time hmm. I also would bf her without getting up and without her waking up too much either.

She also wakes up at 6.30 when in with us rather that 5.30 in her cot...

I didn't think I would be a co-sleeper but now am actually starting to enjoy it. She's 16 months now and generally sleeps from 8pm - 6.30am. Before co-sleeping she would wake anything between 1/2 hour to 2 hours.

She's starting to talk a little now so in 4 - 5 months I'll look to making a fuss of getting her a new bed and try putting her in her own room. I thought I'd get a double bed and which I'll initially stay with her and then phase myself.

I know co-sleeping is not for everybody but I'm so glad I did start doing it. I think not sleeping is horrendous and if you have an appalling sleeper you have to do everything you can to get some sleep in!!!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By WowOoo on Tue 06-May-08 08:35:15
I went through this with my ds. There is a light at the tunnel.
Could your partner give her a bottle at night just to give you a break? My ds was not into this at first, but after a few bad nights he would take it. I hated expressing milk, but i think I increased my supply this way.
Also co-slept sometimes, but we never felt we slept as well as ds did these nights. Also, we took turns sleeping in room with ds. usually , we could shush him back to sleep.I think he just liked to bf for comfort rather than hunger at this stage too.

things really only got better for me when I got really ill and was forced to stop bfing! (Ds about 1 then). I was so dehydrated dh went out and bought formula and gave it and that was it. He would ahve loads before bed and then we gave him water in the nights.
Hope some of this helps. Want you to know you're doing very well and that it will get better.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By WowOoo on Tue 06-May-08 08:35:46
At end of tunnel, I mean!!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By ali23 on Tue 06-May-08 08:57:54
Thank you! As I said in another post, last night not too bad and sometimes it helps to know others have trodden the same path - and, more importantly, survived to tell the tale!


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