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HI - i am 42 and going thru my first IVF ICSI cycle... (already have DS,15ys, and DD 13ys from prior marriage). DH has low motility. Egg Collection produced only 7 eggs, 3 poor quality, 2 failed ICSI, i didnt fertilise so was left with just one egg to implant last thurs on day 2. AM feeling very low about it all. Any positive advice or feedback please?
I understand what you are going through. I did IVF a few months ago and I found it a very anxiety provoking experience, all those drugs, day in day out and uncertain outcome. You will need to use all the support you can get.I had loads from my family. I also found the counsellor at my clinic extremely helpful, she saw me at each stage from down-regulation through to the day of the pregnancy test and I found it great to speak to someone who knew the pain and anguish. The counsellor should also be able to see you for a few weeks whatever the outcome. Have you any hobbies? I wirte in my spare time and I kept a diary of everything that happened. Putting things down on paper really helped. Also infertility supports can help. I live in Ireland and got great support from the Irish group. I will be thinking of you and good luck. Let me know how you get on.
Hi newbishad, thank you so much for your kind words... it is good to know that there are others who have gone through the same thing and can understand. Unbelievably my clinic did not mention counselling to me at any point in the process. in fact they didnt really enable me to make informed choices at any point. My family are unaware i am having treatment. What was your outcome, if you dont mind me asking?
First of all your clinic should recomend counselling. If you are in England HEFA (regulatory body) recomend all couples undergoing IVF treatment receive counselling. At my clinic in Borne Hall Cambridgeshire, counselling was offered free to all couples, as much as was deemed necessary by the counsellor. I am unsure about Ireland, (where I live) I was never offered it directly in the clinic I attended but I think it was available. Wherever your clinic is, they should provide it and it might be worth asking if you think it would help. I also know acupuncture and other forms of alternative medicine are recomended and might be useful but you should check with the clinic because there are all those issues of herbal medicine in early pregnancy. I chose to share my experiences with my family who were hugely supportive (still are). (It was hard to keep it secret anyway because I had had two ectopic pregnancies in the past.) However, everyone is different and I know lots of families who chose to keep it private, I still recommend an infertility support group. You can go along to those and they should be totally confidential. There are also infertility chat rooms as well. Thanks for asking about my outcome. I was lucky and am now almost 23 weeks pregnant with my first child. Since it was an IVF conception I have found the pregnancy difficult. I am a regular memeber on any anxiety, insomnia and ectopic heart beat thread on this forum and have found the support I have received hugely benefical. Keep well and let me know how you do.My baby is due at the end of May.
Hi Worrymerchant. I know you are going through a hugely stressful and anxious time - it is natural to feel that way. My advice to you is to keep positive thoughts in your head as much as possible - just keep affirming to yourself that things are going well. Indeed, you have had one embryo transferred, and one is all it takes! Keep telling yourself that, be kind to yourself and allow yourself as much personal time & space as you can have right now. You are nearly half-way through the 2ww, so doing well! Also, you've had two successful pregnancies in the past, which is a huge plus, and in my opinion, goes a long way to negating any 'negatives' from age etc.
I'm 41 and currently 17 weeks pregnant through IVF with DC3. Like Newbishad says, I wrote everything down and kept a journal, which I'm still maintaining now. It can happen! All the best of luck, and keep positive!!
By about your stage of the 2ww, with both of my successful IVFs, I was beginning to get the odd twinge & mild shooting pains. These, I remember reading, are good signs! (I found Zita West's book extremely helpful and her advise very common-sense.) But, similarly, you must remember that not getting any twinges doesn't mean it isn't working. I also remember being told by my clinic not to worry about any period-type, dragging pains I may feel, as that doesn't mean it isn't working, either, but is because of the drugs/progesterone. Bear this in mind, especially if you are having to take progesterone suppositories during this time (I couldn't absorb from the suppositories and so had to have an IM injection of progesterone every day until week 11 - not pleasant!).
With this IVF, I was due to test on a Thursday, having had the ET on a Thurs, like you. I felt definite shooting pains in my left breast two days before testing and took that as a really positive sign - was also very tearful and fearful.
You have had an ET from ICSI - that's fantastic success already, so do try, for your own sake, to shoo away any worries - easier said than done, I know. I shall be keeping my fingers crossed for you and do ask anything else you might like, to help put your mind at ease.
Newbishad - congratulations on your pregnancy, I am SO pleased for you.
Thanks for the info re counselling, it certainly has not been directly offered to me by my clinic alhtough i think there was a leaflet about it in the brochure.
I have been trying to do as much prep as poss for this cycle, including drastic changes to my nutrition, no alcohol, and i have also done the acupncture. Apparently I ahve managed to generate a really good, thick womb lining, so hopefully this will have helped implantation.
Newbishad and Takenoprisoners -
I would be interested to know whether you had any iinkling or physical indications early on that you might have been successful after the transfer?
Also, (if you dont mind me asking) how many eggs did you produce\fertilise\implant etc? Are you my age group? Sorry!!
I'm 41. I did my first IVF cycle in 2005. I produced 15 eggs, 8 fertilised, transferred 2 and kept remaining 6 in storage. Result, one happy, healthy DS2!
2nd IVF last October, a frozen embryo transfer. Had to thaw 3 (one didn't make the thaw process) to put back 2 embryos again. The night of my positive pregnancy test, I had a heavy-ish bleed, which I think was the 2nd embryo coming away. But now 17 weeks pregnant.
Dear worrymerchant, I don't mind sharing my story at all. I am a bit younger then you, 36. I produced 16 eggs, 12 fertilised and 6 went to blastocyst. Two were returned and one embedded. (I have 4 frozen blasts, one high quality.) My diagnosis is blocked tubes. No-one knows why. Like Takenoprisoners I got shooting pains in my side during those two weeks and lower abdominal pain as well. Since I already had two ectopic pregnancies I thought that was what I had. On my retrun to Ireland I was admitted to the Gynecology ward for 2 days until they were able to scan me. obviously I was delighted to learn I had a viable pregnancy. I hope, hope, hope things work out for you. That two week wait is a nightmare, isn't it. I spent a lot if it reading other women's stories on the computer, hoping it would be me. I do believe in positive thoughts but part of me also wanted to be realistic. I had lived with infertility for so long I couldn't really believe I would ever have a child. The two week wait does pass though.
Thank you both SO much for sharing with me... i have been getting some lower abdominal cramps and was really worried, then read on the net that is was probably due to progesterone, also have sore boobs but thought that might be pre menstrual\progesterone. Will jsut have to wait it out, but am a lot more positive now, thank you both very much.
Takenoprisoners - which Zita West book did you read? I have been going to her clinic for the nutrition and acupuncture.
I did no special preparation other than lots of writing, counselling, support from family and taking a lot of time off. The more personal space I had the better! I still do as much of this as possible.
Dear newbishad - i have lots of time to myself, and am doing a lot of reading and cooking, both of which i enjoy. But I should probably try and find a way to keep a bit busier as the more time i have to myself the more i dwell on it.. hence i am a worrymerchant!
I think it's about finding the right way for you. I forgot to mention I also got myself as fit as possible.By the way I am a worrier as well. Big time! I could have used that name myself. Instead I chose an amalgamation of my two dogs Newbie and Shadow as they were my two children for four years, hence newbishad. Do let us know how you get on and I wish you all the best.
Thank you for your good wishes. I read "Fertility and Conception". I did all the usual dietary preparations before hand, rested as much as possible during the 2ww. I comopletely avoided coffee - a hardship, being somewhat addicted. The advice from my clinic during the 2005 cycle was to limit to one or two per day, but it avoided it nonetheless and did the same this time. Now, research has shown that it is indeed best to cut it out altogether, as the caffeine can make miscarriage more likely. I did lots and lots of positive visualisations and mediatations, especially this time around, where I just plugged myself into my iPod and literally talked myself into being positive. I have an orange and pink silk 'fertility scarf' which never left my neck during that time. Sounds silly, but I think these mental props can be so important. It's great that you are doing the nutrition and acupuncture and feeling a bit more positive now. Also, what is the success rate of your clinic? Whatever it is, just keeping thinking of it and that you will be part of it!
Hi there, I think your advice (both of you) has been really helpful to me. Walked down to the library and ordered the Zita West book you recommended. They had her book on Natural Pregnancy there which I looked at and hope tp go back for in a short while!
I also spent some time today just really relaxing to music and trying to focus on a positive outcome. My problem is that my mind tends to wander a lot and i find it really hard to stay focussed... any tips?! However, I must have got some benefot from it because i felt really calm afterwards.
Can I just ask... did either of you have to go in during the 2ww for a blood test? I have to go in tomorrow and I am not sure what it's about?
Hi WM Glad you're feeling better. I had blood tests before the transfer - screening for hepatitus and rubella etc. I did have a blood test a couple of days after my positive pregnancy test; because of that bigish bleed I mentioned, they wanted to check if my hCG levels were rising. So, not sure what yours would be for at this stage ...
Dear Worrymerchant, Glad your feeling better I am also not sure what the test is for but I would check in with them and ask. I found it a great help to ask at every stage so that I knew exactly what I was facing. Despite being 23 weeks pregnant I am still receiving support from my clinic. I really do recomend you check in whoever is avaialable. They will probably only be too glad to help. I am braving the high winds and rain today and returning to Ireland. I don't have internet access so will be unable to respond as often but I am interested in how you get on. If you like leave me a message and I will get back to you when I can.
Hello you two, how are you doing? Sorry I have been away for the last couple of days. Actually have had quite a nightmare day yesterday which began at 2.30am, when DS ill with abdo pain. HAd to rush him to doctor who said: watch for it to get better (then prob gstritis) or worse (then prob appendicitis). Then had to leave him with mum (felt guilty) whilst I went to clinic for blood test, stuck in traffic, arrived 1 hour late, tearful, and forgot to ask all my questions.
Hope you had a good trip back to Ireland,newbishad, I would love to keep in touch with you both.
Can I just ask you both about the crampy feelings you got? I have had them since Sunday but today they seem to have faded.. was that the case wiht you as well, or were yours continuous?
I am here in an internet cafe writing to you. I had a terrible trip back to Ireland, high winds, unsympathetic staff, and am now looking for ways in which I can return. Like I said in an earlier email I suffer from huge anxiety. It's much harder to deal with here away from my family so I am looking at ways to return as soon as possible and bring my partner, plus dogs and cat back with me. I had every abdominal pain under the sun in the two week wait and was certain I was about to have my period. I actually took a test the day before I was due for my blood test and was delighted and shocked that it was positive. Like I told you I then thought I had an ectopic pregnancy. Everyone is different in the pain they experience. I was constantly on the internet and read all sorts of stories. Some people who were successful never had pain, some had pain that improved and others like me had it constantly. I still believe in positive thoughts but I do think a lot of what happens is out of our control. I had periods of panic during my two week wait (one which kept me awake until 5.30am, the day after embryo transfer) and it made no difference to the outcome. I am sure you have done no damage by your terrible experience a day ago. IVF clinics tend to tell us "you can't do this and you can't do that" and a lot of it is probably very wise. But, just think of all those people out there who conceive in the worst conditions imaginable, drunk on drugs, stressed etc. It is only because we have so many problems and have invested so much into it that we are focused on trying to do things right. All we can do is work with our own methods and hope. I am still doing this through pregnancy. I am sure I would have been just the same as you faced with a sick child in the middle of the night. How is your DS? Anyway thinking of you and keep in touch.
Hello both of you - it sounds like you've both had a rough few days, with WM having to rush DS to doctor and Newbishad's awful-sounding journey, not good when pregnant, either. Hope WM's DS is okay and not appendicitis? Newbishad is right, having these stressful experiences won't make any difference to the actual outcome, so try not to worry about that. And, you can always give your clinic a ring next week if you want to check on what those blood tests were for.
Newbishad - we have two dogs, too, which were our original 'babies'. They're now 12 and 13 years old, incredible to think our quest for a family stretches back all those years and that it took such a long time for us to get DS1 in 2003. Children have been a long time coming for us, and we have loved our dogs so much.
Worry Merchant - I had cramps and shooting pains on and off - mainly throughout the second week. Something like a little twinge in the morning, then nothing all day and then perhaps another sensation in the evening, on and off throughout the week. It doesn't really indicate much but you'll just be extra sensitive to what your body is doing. I don't know about how you'll feel, but I was never tempted to test early - infact I had to really steel myself to test on the proper date, as I was petrified I would get a negative which might turn out to be a false one but which would have dashed my hopes, ifswim. But if it's worked, you will definitely be starting to produce hCG now which will be building up over this coming week, here's lots of hoping and praying ... The second week of the 2ww is just the hardest thing, so try as much as you can to keep your mind off it and do the things you enjoy.
Thanks for all the kind messages. It really helps me to be in touch. As I said the journey was awful. I asked the airhostess to help with my bags. She dumped them at the bottom of the plane and left. They blew into a puddle and I had to carry them miles to the terminal building soaking wet!
Takenoprisoners- Dogs can make good children can't they. And cats. I am so greatful for mine.
Worrymerchant- I keep thinking of you and wish you all the best.
Glad you made it safely back to Ireland,Newbishad, but your journey sounded horrendous. I hope you have had time to recover. It helps me also to be in touch, I really like our little group. I would like to think that we will stay in touch wiht eachother for a long time.
TNP... I am really struggling with wanting ot test early. But I suppose it would be silly seeing as i was only a day 2 transfer.
I really feel that I have a lot of symptoms, but this means so very much to me that I am petrified of what I'll feel if I am wrong. I am feeling really down today and full of anxiety. Just cant seem to help it. Some days I just feel so positive, and on others, like today, I jsut feel like it's all been for nothing.
I would like to stay in touch as well. Things have been really hard for me in Ireland. No it's not home, England is and I want to get back ASAP. I have spent today in both the psychiatric and gynecology services trying to get help for sleepless nights. No-one will prescribe me anything which is just wrong! I know there is safe medication that can be taken during pregnancy to help deal with stress. Sorry for going on about my problems during your 2WW but I feel as though I am really swamped with problems at the moment and I FULLY UNDERSTAND YOUR ANXIETY Good luck and I'll keep in touch.
Hello both of you. I will join you with my woes and say that I'm getting awful pregnancy-related headaches and dizziness at the moment, not much fun at all. It's not much help when the medical profession are reluctant to prescribe anything stronger than paracetamol, so I can understand you being so frustrated with sleeplessness, Newbishad. There is nothing worse - I suffer from it periodically. There must be something that is safe to prescribe for you? Do you have a GP back in England to see as soon as you get back? It's not good for your health or baby to be stressed and sleepless.
Oh WM, it's entirely understandable you are feeling down today - your hormones will be all over the place (whatever the outcome) so try to be kind to yourself and just hang in there. Might it help to think about 'contingencies', in the event of a negative when you test (on Thursday?). It just might help to have a coping strategy at hand, where you've given some thought to maybe trying again or taking a break etc? Anyway, back to thinking positive, I'm sure all these symptoms are really a good sign! If it does help ... and as I say, I wasn't tempted to test early ... when I had my first IVF in 2005, I unfortunately had rather bad OHSS and had to be in hospital during my 2ww ... anyway, the doctor insisted on giving me a pregnancy test on the Tuesday, a full two days before I was due to test. (I had had a 2-day-old embryo transfer, too.) She thought that my OHSS symptoms were being caused by the pregnancy and wanted to verify it ... I didn't want to test but gritted my teeth and did it, with a very faint positive result. My somewhat convoluted point is that clinics are quite happy for us to use home pregnancy tests and regard them as very accurate by the end of the 2ww, meaning that by a couple of days before hand, you'll be producing lots of hCG. Plenty of women do test early so if it helps you to do a test early, then try it. Personally, I'd rather hang on for a good, firm result, one way or the other, but you have to do what YOU need to.
HI Newbishad... you sound like you're in a really bad place just now... Are you in Ireland because of work (you\partner?). is there any chance of getting back home soon? I do really understand because I had to endure 2 years in Singapore, having given up everything to go there in support of my husband only to have my marriage finally collapse whilst there. you dont need to apologise about anything, are you worried about anything in particular? it helps to talk, and if you want to share then I am here to listen.
Have you tried relaxation tapes for hte sleepless nights? Or is there a safe herbal remedy you could get from the health store? Sleepless nights are just awful, I know. I've had enough of them myself. the only other thing i can think of just know is soem form of prenatal yoga\pilates or deep breathing techniques are supposed ot be quite effective.
Anyway, must go for now. Take care now, and speak soon x
HI TNP - thanks, It just seems so weird to be up and down like this. Also, there is such a lot of conflicting information out there it gets very confusing. I dont think i am goign to test til the friday if i can help it. i just want it to be over with!
I really feel for you re the headaches... I remember having terrible headaches with both of mine,and paracetamol is the strongest thing you're allowed. hopefully this stage wont last long with you, nad i think i remember being told that things like headache and nausea are associated wiht a strong attachment from the baby, so there is a positive in there somewhere.
Thank you both for your messages, you are really really helping. I don't feel so alone. Thank God I am now back in England! I can't believe how atrocious the services were in Ireland, particulalry from the Psychiatric point of view. I am talking about a very mild sleeping medication to help after a run of bad nights which I think is less detrimental to baby and me than what was happening before, which was almost no sleep and a tendency to not eat well as a result of exhaustion. I do need psychological support as well I admit that, but both are necessary. My partner and I were completly disempowered by the whole experience, he wasn't even allowed to come into the consultation with me and I had people making decisions about me and my baby which I disagereed with and had no option to challenge. I was left to cope for the entire night, with a vague promise of psychology sometime in the future. In the end I took just over 0.5mgs of vallium (which is practically a placebo)and slept for 8 hours. Baby continued to kick vigorusly. I will do this every third night until I can see a doctor. Of course i will only take it if I need it. It shouldn't go on for too long, the services in my part of England are excellent. Part of the problem is a fear of falling asleep because of nightmares about the two ectopic pregnancies and like both of you I have taken a lot of medicine which has disrupted everything. I think now I am back home things will imrpove. My partner is going to wind down the house we are renting. We will go over to Ireland and collect him in a month.I am sorry to hear about your experiences in Singapore, W.M after what I have gone through in the last couple of days I really understand. T.N.P I am sorry to hear about the headaches. I have managed to get away without them so far but I understand the medication issue of course. Someone at work suffered badly with it and she did say it improved. On the positive side I had a scan yesterday and all is well. Baby is about 24 weeks, (despite all my anxiety)and is now at least viable. I don't know the gender because the cord was in the way but she /he has been kicking away while I type. W.M I continue to think of you and hope all is well. If I was religous I would pray. Keep in touch!
I am glad you are now back in England, Newbishad, and hope being back will help you settle better at night, along with a little valium if it helps. I have found that insomnia seems to come for me in cycles, and if I can break it and get just one good night's sleep, then I have a good chance of resting properly the next night, and so on. So, hope that's the case with you and you get out of this awful bout of sleeplessness. When you can't sleep, all else goes downhill rapidly, doesn't it? Worries become amplified, getting through the day is hell and then physically, I find headaches and dizziness take a hold as well. Sorry you're having those nightmares, quite understandable given the circumstances and what you've been through, but it's such great news you had a good scan - that's fantastic, and so reassuring. My next hurdle is the 20-week scan - I'm trying not to worry (what will they find, etc?).
Yes, my headaches and dizziness are a real nuisance at the moment, especially as I'm having to juggle the school run twice a day with 5 year old DS1. I haul us all out to walk it - it's a 20 min, hilly walk there and back - fine if you're not pregnant and not feeling too great! But I feel guilty about getting the car out for such a short journey, especially given the parking there is v bad, unless I'm very ill or the weather's really awful. So, I feel like I'm constantly heaving myself around at the moment and then running around after my 2year old during the day as well! Argghh!!
A special note for WorryMerchant: I do hope you've had some periods of worry-free time, during this very difficult stage. Just think, you've done so well already, to have got this far is incredible, and all while keeping the family running as normal and having to cope with all the demands. Will be thinking & praying for you and please let us know when you can - only if you want to, of course. Keep strong, x
Thanks for your kind words. I am in England now and much better.You are right about the pattern of bad nights. Part of my worry is that I have no other driver in Ireland because my partner has an eye sight difficulty. If I don't sleep I still have to drive which is a problem. I hope your 20 week scan goes okay. When are you having it? It is a relief to have it out of the way and I will probably get another one now I am in England. I don't know if we are allowed but if you are nazel can you inhale with hot water to clear your nose? Have you also had your blood pressure / blood iron levels tested. I pity you having the morning run, I don't have the problem of other children at the moment. W.M I am thinking of you and hope all is well. AS TNP said I hope you have some stress free moments in there amongst everything you have to do.
Thanks Newbishad, I shall try the hot water trick. Blood pressure was okay last time I saw midwife, but not due to see her again for another 4 weeks, and scan in just under 2 weeks, so plenty of time to get myself worked up about it!
I am so, so sorry to hear you news. It must be awful. You both need some time to yourselves to adjust. There are no right or wrong answers. The whole IVF game can be so cruel at times, can't it. When are you due to test with your clinic? I don't want to raise your hopes but it is still early. Do feel free to get in touch any time you want and let us know how you are doing. My thoughts are with you.
Oh WM, I'm really really sorry. But I say a result isn't a result until Friday. Hormone levels can vary so much between different women, and as Newbishad says, it is early. It doesn't mean it's a negative yet. Do you think you ought to tell your DH you've tested, so you can get the support you need right now? Have you got anyone with you today? Can you go out somewhere and do something if not? Take care x
Hi, I have had an awful day, and now am suffering a bad headache because of it. I will try again on Friday, but I have lost all my confidence. Thank you both for your support, it really does mean a lot to me. It hadnt really sunk in until now just how important this really is to me. Before I had a)assumed I would be successful and b) thought I would just go ahead and try again if not. But now I realise just how devasted I will feel If I do not get a positive on Friday.
What a horrid day for you. It is all such a massive strain and half the time we just don't realise the toll all the drugs and hoping for a positive have on us. It is just the most difficult time, I know. Hang in there - the show aint over til Friday, and then you can think what to do. Take care x
Dear WM, I have been thinking of you today. It is a horrible, difficult, stressful time and it is important to you, I really do know, having gone through IVF myself! I think any women who has taken all those drugs would agree. Like TNP says I hope there are people around to support you and your partner while you are going through it. I agree that you should hang in there until Friday and then decide what to do. Take as much time as you need! If you are working I would recomend that you take some time off or rope in your family to look after the kids. If you don't want to tell them what you have been through you could always invent something. Look after youself. I am here if you want to talk. XXX
HI there you two... thank you for your messages, I hope you both wont disappear! You should carry on talking to eachother if i am not around! I feel a bit better today in that i am not openly crying, but still low. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow. x
Tnaks for thinking of us while you are going through this difficult time. I continue to think of you and will be around to talk tomorrow, all best wishes for you and your DH. Of course you feel low and crying is fine and natural, do just what you want. Whatever the outcome tomorrow, it will take you some time to adjust and you should allow yourself the time and space.
Dear WorryMerchant - still thinking of you today and ditto what Newibshad says for tomorrow. So hope you get that positive outcome, but whatever the result, I will check in periodically tomorrow and will be here to chat it through if you want to. Take care. x
HI you two, just to let you know that i have confirmed a BFN this morning. I feel quite numb. I think I did all my cryign the other day. I just dont know what to do next. DH tryign ot be supportive but I keep pushing him away. Think I have really upset him now. I jsut feel I have let everyone down and htat it is all my fault. I did everything I could to prepare and give myself the best possible chance so I dont understand. There must be something wrong with me.
Dear WM - please don't think there is anything wrong with you and that it is your fault - that's just not the case, neither have you let anyone down. I am really sorry about your BFN, really sorry. I think you will feel numb for quite a while - it's the body's way of coping with the shock of it. And I'm sure your DH will understand what you are both going through right now, so don't worry about thinking you've upset him. Am I right in remembering you haven't told family/wider circle about the treatment? Good idea, then you don't have to go explaining to others at a time when you just want tor retreat. I do know how upset you're feeling, after years and years of BNFs each and every month. Will you go for a follow-up with your clinic and see what they say about chances with further treatment, if that's what you might want to do?
I also meant to say that you feeling upset, I know that's an understatement. And that, regarding feeling a failure, to try to think how successful you both were to have a fertilised embryo, which is a major stage in the whole battle, and whether they implant or not is down to chance.
TNP is right, there is nothing wrong with you. I also understand how you are feeling. Numbness is part of the shock. Just let yourself feel.There was absolutley nothing, nothing, nothing you did wrong. As I said before, these things unfortunately are largely out of our control. You gave that embryo every best chance you could and did everything possible. You have suffered a bereavement. I too have lost much loved embryos and I know. Maybe you could tell your DH that are you are not pushing him away but it is how you feel right now. Everyone is different but I do know that it can be harder for the women than the man. Men haven't gone through all those hormones. I am sure he will understand and the clinic should help, ask for all the support you can get. I don't know about you, but I am writer. Have you any creative interests which you could use to express your loss. Some women I know plant trees, in fact I took a conker from Borne Hall and planted it in my Dad's garden on the day of my embryo transfer. I also write. For years my fictional children and my dogs plus cat became my family. I now have two novels I am trying to publish and hundreds of short stories and plays. Maybe you could paint or write or plant something. Then again, that might not be you. Perhpas you would like to go away somewhere. It will take time to think things through. My thoughts and wishes go out to you. I am around to talk if you feel like it
I was really, really sorry to hear about Worry Merchant's news. A failed cycle is so difficult. As you said we both apreciate it having had BFN for months, years in my case. I really want to recognise her loss. We invest so much finacially, emotionally, time wise. Worry Merchant very kindly said we should continue to talk. I have benefited from our little chats.I wonder how you feel about checking in from time to time. Thinking of you XXX
Thanks so much Newbishad, that's very kind of you & I'd love to check in and chat. I check in frequently but post rarely due to constantly being up and down, in and out etc with family needs, except in this case, where I did feel particularly compelled to offer some support to WM, knowing as you do what the whole IVF thing is like. Are you sleeping any better now? My scan is actually this Tuesday (was a whole week behind myself and thought I had longer to fret about it than I actually do) so getting a bit jittery and want it done with.
Dear WM - I'm sure Newbishad will join me in hoping that we might see you on the pregnancy board in the future, and that we're thinking of you now during this difficult time.
Dear WM, I certainly do join TNP in hoping we see you on the pregnancy board in the future. All best wishes. Take care X
Dear TNP,
All best wishes for your scan. At least you don't have so long to wait. I am sure everything will be fine. At this stage it would be unlikely that something would go wrong without you knowing about it but I am also hugely anxious about scans so I know. Let me know how you do and I hope the headaches have improved. Did inhaling help? I am doing much better sleepwise since my rapid departure from Ireland. I have to sort out work but after everything I've been through our baby is the most important thing and I do not want to risk anything. There is no way I can go back into that blach hole. I will probably have to take early maternity leave after sick leave BUT I DON'T CARE. Here in England I am being offered extra support by the midwifery service / GP in loo of my history and I have so far been able to avoid any medication. My family have also been great. The most important thing is that I can feel the baby is moving around even if it is a bit uncomfortable. Take care X
I'm so glad you're sleeping better and that you're feeling more at ease in yourself & that you're getting proper medical support. When do you next see your midwife? If you're seeing her nice and regularly then that's great, as it can vary so much around the country, can't it. I have weeks until my next one, but then I'm about 5/6 weeks down the road from you and I know they get more frequent as you progress. Yes, I think you should take maternity leave when you need it, healthwise, that's what it's for.
Bit of a nasty headache again when I woke this morning, but it's okay for now.
Will post to you on pregnancy board re my scan and thanks for your good wishes. Take care in the meantime, x
My ante-natal care is a bit peculiar because I have been seen in two different countries. However, I am lucky that I live in the Cambridge area which has been rated best in the country. I am due to see my midwife on 18th Feb. I was extremely impressed that she actually rang me after I had been to the doctor and we chatted for a while and I was able to explain that I was highly anxious and why. She has given me the mobile numbers of both midwives in the practice plus an emergency out of hours number. I have an excellent practice and I have come to an agreement that I will see the dcotor and midwife more frequently than normal because I have been through so much. Can you tell me how to access the pregnancy board. I would love to share your scan but I am new to the whole thing and am not sure how to get onto it. Take care and keep headache free.
Hi Newbishad - sorry, I'm probably not making myself clear about posting - what I mean is that I will start a new thread within the pregnancy topic section here on Mumsnet, that's addressed to you in the title, so when you check in you will hopefully notice it on Tuesday(my scan is mid-afternoon). I just thought it might be a good idea to start a new thread as well - but this one can also be kept going if WM needs/wants to chat to us.
I'm so glad you've got that excellent-sounding medical care and that you feel confident about being able to get help if you need it. I have to say mine is pretty good really, but at this stage the checks are still infrequent. Not so good if you're a serial worrier or have frequent 'niggles' like me. My community midwife, who took care of me during DS2's pregnancy (we adopted DS1 as a baby) is very nice and I like her.
WM, if you're there, I wonder how you're feeling? Let us know, if you feel like a chat.
Dear TNP, I agree with you and will look out for the thread, of course I will find it. I can't say how much I have benefited from the support of both of you over these two difficut weeks. No-one else really understands the trauma of infertility. Good luck with the scan and speak soon.
Just a quick note to say that I haven't disappeared ! Just was lying low for a bit... I am SO appreciative of your support, it has meant a lot to me. And I would love to continue talking with you both and seeing how you both progress. I am feeling much better than I was, although I still dont know what to do next. I will see the consultant I suppose and listen to what they have to say and take it from there. I hope the view is that there is still a good chance if we try again. It means so much ot me. ANyway,catch up wiht you both soon, am off to bed now! AF arrived today.
Hi WM - good to hear from you and thank you for your kind words. Glad to hear you're feeling much better. I think you'll both need to take as much time as you need to decide what you want to do next and it's definitely a good idea to have a chat with the consultants/clinic to help you make your choices. Whichever way, there is no rush. I'm sure, if you want to try again, that because you got to the fertilised embryo stage, and had a good egg collection rate, that you will have a very good chance. You'll have to weigh it all up with the toll the treatment takes in the first place, and everyone reacts differently. Can you go through all the down-reg and stimulating drugs again? If you managed it okay and feel you could take it again, and with the advice from your clinic, then why not, is what I say! Anyway, I'm sure they will advise at least a month or two to let your body rest and recuperate, so you can see how you feel about it.
It is great to hear from you and I am delighted that you are feeling better. As TNP says it is important to give yourself as much time as possible. With the help of the consultants and the clinic you will be able to plan the next stage. Like TNP says it is a hard decision because you have to weigh up the emotional, physical and financial strain against the chance of sucess. I very nearly didn't go through with it myself because of the huge cost. We don't have a lot of money and I was not elidgable for treatment on the NHS because I lived in Ireland. In the end I decided that we had to try because, after two ectopics, one in each tube, I knew I couldn't have a child any other way and my family helped us with the cost. The clinic should talk you through the options. You did have good egg collection and reached the fertilisation stage and you also know that you can become pregnant naturally which is a huge plus. These days there are also many other options which I am sure you know about blastocyst culture, donor eggs / sperm. Though a long way down the road from where you are now they may or may not be something you want to consider.
I am a whole lot better since I moved back to England and work have been very sympathetic, although I still suffer from weird vivid dreams and disrupted nights. It's not a problem since I am off work and I am getting enough sleep throughout it all. I guess it's all par for the course.
WM I am thinking of you and wish you all the best. X
TNP Just checking in with you to wish you luck for your scan today. Are you going to find out the flavour? Let me know how you get on. X
Hi Newbishad - thanks for thinking of me today - I have just got back from my scan and am taking my opportunities whilst DH does the school run for a change! All went well, thank goodness. I am SO relieved, having got myself into a bit of an anxious state about it, especially yesterday. I nearly didn't opt for this 20 week scan, but after a lot of thinking, decided to go for it to prepare for any health issues. But, I am not a fan of scans personally. It really gets my goat that they call it an "anomaly" scan - I know that is the correct term and that is, in fact, what they are looking for, but I think it has such negative connotations and serves to heighten an anxious time. Why can't they call put a more positive spin on it and call it a "wellness" check, or something??? Argghh!! Anyway, in the end it was quite stress free - and quick, too. I'd forgotten how long our scan at 20 weeks was for DS2, but remember busting for the loo, whereas this time I felt okay, was only in there for about 10 minutes and could have taken longer if required. The sonographer didn't ask if we wanted to know the sex, which is just as well, because we don't! I am so glad it's done with now.
How are you feeling at the moment? Still sleeping okay? And baby moving lots? Did you say you were planning another scan soon, for peace of mind? You've got a midwife appts soonish, haven't you ... has your blood pressure etc all been all right so far? As to all the weird vivid dreams, I'm getting that too! And waking about 3/4 times a night for loo trips.
WM - I am thinking of you also and send you best wishes.
Dear TNP, Congratulations on your scan. Now it's over and you know things are okay. I agree an anomoly scan is an odd name for it. I don't think it's called that in Ireland but anything's better than the dodgy service I had there. Did you see baby move around? I've seen him / her move on all my scans since 14 weeks and she / he was going big time last night throughout an entire concert of Gillbert and Sullivan. Have you had any kicks yet? I am unsual in that I have felt the baby move from about 14 weeks, but I have been told he/ she is very active. God help me in a few months. My midwife appointment is next Monday. I am sorry you are having the weird dreams but it's nice to know I'm not alone in it. It still takes me several hours to get off to sleep but I am managing between 6-8 hours a night which is far better than before and I feel more myself. Anxiety knocks around in the background but if I stay really calm I can usually beat it. I think it's been caused by the pregnancy hormones plus IVF hormones and everything that went before. Mumsnet and our chats help enormously. Anyway enough of my moans. I hope you've a chance to relax now and get a rest while DH is around. Take care X
Thanks Newbishad. I don't very often get DH around during the day at the moment, so have been making the most of it today. He works long hours and has a long commute, with starting the day at 5 am, train by 6 and me dealing with the two boys during the day and early evening and I'm still feeling very tired from the pregnancy. I'm waiting for that magic mid-term energy boost that one is supposed to get - you being a bit further down the line from me, do you notice any difference in your energy levels now? Or does the baby's movements and the increasing awkwardness of it tend take over? I agree, our chats help me a lot, too, as I tend to get stuck in a small-boy world during the day, am exhausted in the evening and so don't really get much of a chance to sort it all out in my head. Yes, I'm getting quite a few little kicks and prods but no somersaults yet!
My first trimester was considerably easier than my second because I didn't have insomnia then. I have had no big rush of energy, I just have days when I felt less drained, but then I suppose like you I am an older first time Mum. I waited so long for pregnancy and felt envious of all those lucky women (as I termed pregnant women) and then when it came to me I hit all these problems that are workable but hard to deal with. I never knew pregnancy was such hard work. Mind you infertility is hard work as well. Being a women is hard work! I think next time round I'll ask to be a man! That little life inside me keeps me going and optomistic through it all. I wouldn't change it for the world. I am counting down the days as I am sure you are! You sound as though you are managing a lot there and doing really well. Take care and look after yourself X
Hi Newbishad, just saw your message. Hope both of you are okay? Newbishad, still sleeping well and everything fine? When are you actually due? I'm due July 4th - Independence Day, hah! Have you thought about a birth plan yet? I am keeping my options open again, except that this time I'm determined to remember to breathe! (Sounds silly, but with each contraction last time, it was so painful I couldn't help but hold my breath - bad move.) I'm sure you'll get lots of often conflicting advice, but you have to go with what you feel best for you. Anyway, I'd be interested to hear if you've got any thoughts on it yet, but of course you've got loads of time to look into all the options.
WM, just wondering if you've had a follow-up appointment with your clinic yet and if it has helped you at all?
I'm due 29th May so I'll chat on Monday. I'm due to see the midwife mid afternooon so I guess I'll find out about birth plans then. It's all a bit of a mystery to me at the moment being the first time I've gone through it. I certainly want a hospital birth. I want the specialists around and like the idea of being spoilt! and I don't want to be too far away from medication if necessary. I'm much better and begining to sleep well. Being treated for a mild urinary infection at the moment. Baby is a little hooliogan. He (I'm sure it's a he, don't know why) kicked practically all night! Take care and will speak Monday.
So glad you're still chatting... I am sorry I disappeared for a bit. I was under a lot of stress this last week or so because of havign to deal with my ex husband who always manages to rear his head at the wrong moment and upset everyone.
Anyway, I am due ot go and see the consultant tomorrow to discuss next steps. I suppose I should have a lot of questions to ask, bit to be honest I dont really know what to say. One thing that has been on my mind is why I was not offered the option of ZIFT (where the embryo is placed into the fallopian tube and makes its own way to the uterus). Apparently this method is more 'natural', and more successful,especially for older women, because the embryo makes its way on its own to the uterus and arrives there at day 5 instead of hanging around there from day 2 where it is not expecting to be. Since i had only one embryo, and only a day 2 one,I would have thought this would have been a much better option. Do you have any thoughts? Or any suggestions for questions?! ANd how are you both? I bet you are both getting more and more excited!? x
That was very bad timing re your ex. Poor you having to deal with all that on top of IVF! I don't know how I would have coped. My thoughts are with you.
I am just trying to think of questions you could ask. Here are a few.
1. How long do they recomend you wait before trying again? 2. The likelihood of sucess using ICSI as before. 3. The sucess rate of the proposed method you described above? 4. If you were interested (and it's not for everyone I fully understand that)the possibility of donor eggs and or sperm and sucess rate for your age group ect. I have heard of people who have done very well with this, particualy in the older age groups and they have been very happy. It does not have the red tape of adoption and the clinic would support you. 4. You might also want to shop around and see if there are other clinics with better success rates / different treatments neither of us have heard about. In Ireland they were determined to treat me using Clomid, followed by IUI which was rediculous and dangerous given my eventual diagnosis of blocked tubes. By chance I contacted Borne in Cambridge re a piece of writing and through the consultation learned that they wouldn't consider anything other than IVF for my age group.I have heard other people who have swopped treatment centres and been sucessful elsewhere.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Let me know how you get on. Thank you for your kind wishes about me. I am much better than I was and I will drop you a line re my progress. I am meeting the midwife tomorrow for the first time. Lots of love XXXXXX NS
Good to hear from you WM, although sorry you've had such an awful-sounding week with your ex - just when you least need it, I expect.
It's good you've got a follow-up appointment. Try to get the most out of it that you can: go armed with all the questions you can think of, write them down and take them in with you. Jot down their answers as they give them, too, so you don't forget anything. In my experience of these things, the more questions you ask, the more info you get.
There's some good points from NS to think about. Also, remember that, although I know this treatment cycle had a heartbreaking result for you, your clinic should, in theory, be even better informed now about drugs levels etc that work for you in making a further attempt. They will know if they'll need to adjust the drugs at all and what quantity of eggs to expect, and how your DH's sperm reacts etc, so that's all very valuable information. Ask them about that: what, if anything, they'd do differently the next time.
The ZIFT idea is fascinating - I'd not heard of that - is it quite a new, cutting-edge treatment? Definitely ask about that one. I remember my clinic saying that there is a slightly increased risk of ectopic pregnancy with 2-day old embryos because, as you say, they have several days to float around and try to get back up into the fallopian tubes. Not sure if blastocyst culture helps there at all ...?
The one thing that strikes me about ZIFT is that you'd probably want to be completely confident about your tubes. Blocked tubes are relatively easy to detect with lap-and-dye exams etc. However, having had many years of the old chestnut "unexplained infertility", with regular ovulation, no blocked tubes and DH sperm okay etc, my clinic suggested that there was a strong possibility that this might be due to "cellular damage" of the tubes, which apparently is quite common, like endometriosis, but because it is so microscopic, is difficult to detect. What happens is that the egg would get damanged, although not blocked, as it made its way down the tube. It can explain why so many couples fail to get pregnant despite checking out on all the tests etc. So I guess you'd want to be quite confident about your tubes if considering that option, but it does sound really interesting and makes sense, doesn't it?
You both have appointments tomorrow, so hope all goes well for both: NS, that your midwife visit is okay and that she is nice and supportive; and especially WM's appointment and that you get something positive to think about for your next steps.
I hope you are well and WM I am thinking of you particulalry today. Let us know how you got on...only if you want to of course. I do hope the clinic have been able to help you and that you have some positive steps for the next stage. All good wishes.
TNP it sounds as though you have a similar diagnosis to me. Until the ectopic pregnancies happened I too had the 'unexplained infertility' line given out at each appointment. Even after one of the ectopics and months of continued infertility they still persisted in telling me that my remaining tube was fine. The treatment that I had in the Assisted Conception Unit in Ireland inbetween both pregancies was so wrong. I kept telling them the tube was damaged and they refused to listen! They even wanted to keep me on Clomid after I bled continuously for 2 months while taking it. Thank God I moved on.
Onto positive things, I am back from the midwife. She didn't have a lot of time today so she is coming to the house on Wednesday to talk to me in more detail and complete the paper work so I guess I will find out about ante-natal classes / birth plans then. She had a listen to the heart beat and said I had a active baby which I know! It's been kicking away while I type. Take care both of you and speak soon. NS
Just bumping this up and saying "hi". Hope your midwife's visit to the house goes okay today NS and that you get all the info you need, and that WM is okay. I'm battling a tedious head cold and half term with energetic five and two year olds ...arrgghh! Take care xx
WM I am continuing to think of you and hope all is well.
TNP: You've got your workload cut out there. You must be exhausted. There's a couple of threads about head colds blocked noses on here you might want to read, don't know if they'll help. It seems everyone I know has a cold at the moment. I had mine a month ago.
Well the midwife poppped around this morning. The first booking appointment in Cambridge is done in the mother's home which I think is a lovely service although she told me they are thinking of cutting it due to lack of staff and cut backs, which is a pity because I think it a great service. Most of it was stuff I had done before and she just copied notes over from my Irish folder into a new English one but she asked me to get a copy of blood tests ect which are still in Ireland. Easier said than done, the system in Drogheda (where I was based before)prefer a request from a hospital so I had a bit of a battle. Baby continues to kick away. Last night the whole household was up at about 4.00am (no-one could sleep) and baby joined in with gusto. I went back to sleep though afterwards, which was good. I am going to private ante-natal classes (rung by a friend of my mother's) because they focus more on relaxation techniques which is important for me. I also have to start thinking about a birth plan which I will discuss with the midwife at a later date. I have to see her week 28, 31, 34, 36, 38 and then 40 and 41 if necessary (Hopefully not). TNP what is your schedule like? I am so greatful for the help I have received from both you and WM over those dreadful days in Ireland two weeks ago. It is begining to seem like a bit of a nightmare in the past but the link with you helped carry me through. Oh TNP do you have any advice about how to introduce a new born baby to dogs? Lots of love, NS XXXX
Hi NS - that does sound like a good service and similar to the one here. Hopefully the midwife team will be able to do full follow-up visits to you at home as well after the birth. I'm not due to see my midwife for another 2 weeks yet, and then the schedule is a bit like yours, I think.
You are lucky being able to get back to sleep after 4! That is a real nuisance time for me to wake up (which I often do) because then I just can't get back off, so well done for getting back to sleep. Sounds like those relaxation techniques are really helping. I keep meaning to buy a birth "hypnosis" to put on my iPod, to start training myself.
I was going to ask about if you'd had any thoughts on the dogs and your newborn. What we did with our dogs was try to introduce both the DSs gradually. So, bringing home some clothing worn by baby so they can get used to the smell first. They are members of the family and so need careful handling when introducing the baby, who they'll see as the newest member of the pack, and want to take care of him/her, so I'd let them have a little sniff of baby and really take your time over introducing each other. They do get jealous, though, and might get over-excited, so just keep vigilant with the baby, which I'm sure you'll do. My elder dog made a point of sleeping on my bed throughout my first pregnancy, something which he'd not wanted to do before - it was like he was looking after me. The night I went into labour, just before my contractions started and I knew it was all systems go, he suddenly got off the bed and left, as if he knew and was giving me my space! Take care, love TNPx
Thanks for the advice. I'm quite lucky in that I am now living in England in a large house, my sister, mother and partner will be there to help with dogs so it's great, especially as they'll be three dogs and a cat because my mother also has a dog, so that's one labrador cross (Newbie), one collie cross (Shadow) and a spanial (Cara). (What do you have?) Still a good tip to bring something with baby's scent back home from the hospital. I remmeber hearing somewhere that dogs can actually smell the pregnancy hormone, so they may know more than we know. I don't think ours will quite manage the level of intuition that yours showed. Our lab (Newbie) apparently has taken to sleeping upstairs since I left Ireland. He's behaving a bit like a teenager and gets off the bed for his food and walks! Yes I will have midwife support at home for the first week after birth. After that the health visitor takes over. I am getting extra support because of my anxiety from a couple of weeks ago. I will be meeeting the health visitor prior to the birth so she can get to know me but that's standard practice at my surgery. I hope your cold is better soon and I'll speak again. Love NS
Hi NS How are you? I think my cold is on its way out, but feeling a bit light-headed this morning, so not sure if it's that or the pregnancy. A pain, because I've got to drag the boys round Sainsbury's this morning ...
Yes, I'm sure that dogs can sense/smell pregnancy - they definitely behave differently. I have two labs - a yellow (the oldest at 13 next month) and a choccie who is 12. As they're both getting on, they really just like to spend their time sleeping in the kitchen, with the occasional walk and run around, so I think it's unlikely they'll make it up the stairs again to sleep on my bed, which is a pity ... I was hoping my soft yellow boy would snuggle in! It's great you've got a good family support network who'll be there for you - that will be invaluable, especially in the early days.
Right, I must get on now, so have a good day yourself and take care, TNPx
I'm new to this site and I really need some advice.Turned 42 on jan 27 and soon going on my second attempt at ivf. Did the 1st one August last year but it failed. Was told not to w8 for too long b4 doing it again. How long is too long? Have two DG 14 & 7 and one DS 10. Although we hve DC3 and are so grateful for them,,it was so devastating when it failed. My DH has an extremely LSC. Dr reckons its always been low but has gotten far worse with age.He's also 42. Still trying to make sense of all this. want to change drs as we feel not fully up a very positive attitude and believing that it will be well against all odds. Wld like to know how Newbishad,WM and TNP are doing?
I'm new to this site and I really need some advice.Turned 42 on jan 27 and soon going on my second attempt at ivf. Did the 1st one August last year but it failed. Was told not to w8 for too long b4 doing it again. How long is too long? Have two DG 14 & 7 and one DS 10. Was devastated when the first one failed. My DH has a LSC. Dr reckons its always beeen so but has gotten worse with age.He's also 42.We want to change drs as we feel we were'nt fully briefed on what to expect. Hve found a fantastic dr who really knws what she's doing. Recommended by a friend who used her and ws succesful.How can we increase our chances? WM,TNP and NBS. How are you all doing?
I am very sorry to hear about your failed cycle. I know from having gone through IVF just what a traumatic experience it was, it's devestating. However you have been able to conceive naturally in the past which is a huge positive because the statistics indicate sucess is more likely in women who have had previous pregnancies. I would contact the clinic and try and find out what they mean by an acceptable length of time for waiting, I always thought that it was 3 months but I am no expert and it depends on your condition and how you reacted to the medication. I would have thought from my limited experience that you would be fine to start a new cycle. (Do you have any frozen embryos you don't say in your post?)I don't know if you had a consultation at the clinic after the August cycle. In my centre at Borne in Cambridge you are entitled to a free appointment up to two months after a failed cycle to review options. In the consultation they might have recomended what they would do differently in your treatment, since they should now have a better idea of how you respond to the drugs. I would also suggest that you contact other clinics to see what they would offer and what your chances of success might be. I had a very bad experience in an Assisted Conception Unit where they were determined to treat me with Clomid despite my having blocked fallopian tubes. I am very pleased that I changed centres and was offered IVF. I am now 26 weeks pregnant after 4 1/2 years of infertility and 2 ectopics, one in each tube. I have a number of friends in an infertility support group who also changed centres and had successful cycles elsewhere. Other treatments you might want to ask about, I'm sure you are familiar with them, are ICSI (where the sperm is injected into the egg, assisted hatching (I don't know much about this at all), blastocyst culture (which I did, if you can get an embryo to blastocyst the success rate is much higher)and (if you were interested, it's not for everyone I know) donor sperm / eggs. I would make an appointment and run through all these, the more information you have the better and then you can make a decision. Good luck and let us know how you get on. XXXX NS
I thought you had labs, I am familiar with that go on the bed and snuggle in type thing. I think they're all a bit like that. Ours ( a black lab) is a rescue dog. We found him in the park on a wet day and no-one knew anything about him, he's hardly moved from the bed since.
I am starting pregnancy yoga - ante-natal classes (or discussion after the session) on Monday evening and will let you know how it goes. Take care X
Ah, that's where he wants to be, NS, on the bed with you all! He'll be a wonderful brother/dog for the new baby!! Enjoy your yoga class - will look forward to hearing all about it (I have two pregnancy yoga DVDs in the cupboard that I've not even played yet as I'm always too tired in the evening!) TNPx
Thanks for the prompt response.CONRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! I wish you all the luck in the World. Unfortunately, i dont have any frozen embryos. We feel the dr was too keen to do the procedure and collect his money. Hence we were not fully briefed or given options as mentioned earlier. Anyway, thats in the past now and we are looking positively to the next try. We hve also been introduced to a dr who was recommended to us by a lady who used her and was successful. The dr really knows her stuff and seems more realistic.She is giving us no guarantess but assured us that everything possible will be done to increase our chances. I feel so comfortable with her.
Hi Miistoobe - welcome to Mumsnet. You'll find loads of advice and support here with the whole conception/IVF/"older mother" topics.
I agree with NS that I would have thought, having your last attempt last August, your body would have recuperated sufficiently by now to try again, but you'll have to go on the advice of your clinic. Are you doing all the usual dietary checks etc? You might also be advised to go straight back for the full IVF/ICSI (or whatever is appopriate for your situation) rather than a 'wait and see for a bit longer' approach, because, to be quite honest, it sounds like you've waited enough ifswim. So, make that appointment at the clinic of your choice and check out your options and see what sort of waiting lists they have (most will treat you pretty soon, but bear in mind that that can usually mean actually starting treatment a couple of months from now by the time all your pre-checks are done etc).
I am 21 weeks pregnant, following a FET cycle. Before that, I had a 'fresh' IVF cycle, resulting also in a positive pregnancy. (I'm now 41, btw.) Good luck and let us know how you get on!
