alas this seems to be an american trait EB. My choir expects 100% participation to the Music and Arts foundation. I am not prepared to pay. I pay a large termly fee to be part of the choir. Much as I am happy to donate to some thins, they already get a large chunk from me and I would rather my money went to other charities than one that goes back into something I am already paying for. There is weekly pressure at the moment. I am almost tempted to just put $10 in an envelope and say "that's yer lot" just to stop the hassle but TBH I think it'd just make it worse. They are expecting Much bigger donations than that. I discussed the fund raising tactics with a kiwi friend and an american friend. The kiwi has been here for years and was in the UK before that. She knew exactly why I was not happy. The american didn't get it. It's just the way they operate and we are not used to it I guess. I am being stubborn on this one. I will give the amount they want to a charity that is more worthwhile (sorry choir) and not pressuring me.

DS1's school have not yet solicited money butthey send home a list of requested items (tissues, paper, wipes, stationery etc) and the kids get points for what they bring in - I don't think that is right either. Donations should be donations

Don't worry about it.

Try to find out who is running the fundraising bit (it's usually a foundation or association). Ring them and ask them to take you off the mailing list re fundraising if they send specific letters for that. If it's part of a general newsletter, just ignore it and don't feel bad. If they arrange events which will raise funds, go along to those you might enjoy and ignore those you won't.

Will happily fill you in on background and current position if you can stand me waffling on!

Do you think there is a spreadsheet with a cross against your name?!

They need to keep you sweet, you're a paying customer.

I would imagine parents are more likely to give the school a donation on completion of their child's education, once the results are in and offspring are off to their red-brick uni of choice.

To be seen attending events at school, supportive of teachers' and your child's efforts more 'noticed' tbh - but perhaps you need to ask a bursar

Dd attends a private school (registered non-profit organisation), that actively recruits children of all races, religions and economic backgrounds in order to have a diverse student body.

There are a significant number of bursaries/scholarships available for those with financial need. The full fee payers are asked to 'supplement' the annual budget via donations in addition to paying tuition in order to guarantee the continued diversity of the school. The school also has a long range development/expansion plan which will require some fairly significant donations from alumni/patrons/donors/parents, etc in order to proceed.

In order to meet their current financial obligations and future goals, they fundraise and solicit funds, with a goal of 100% parental participation (including those who receive financial aid). This solicitation can feel like badgering. I think some people simply give at the start of the school year to avoid being pursued throughout the year. Others give a 'token' amount that is a fraction of the 'suggested' donation.

We are new to the school. While I admire/support the school's philosophy and ethos, I object to their aggressive and heavy-handed fundraising efforts. I will probably give to the school at some point (when we are more embedded), but when I feel ready - not because of being pestered.

Would like to hear from anyone else who has experienced this. How did you handle it?

I have paranoid delusions of dd being given a 'bad' teacher or being subtlely 'sidelined' in some other way because I have not 'coughed up' a donation ....