When i want to go out and spend my Birthday money without my 20mo DS coming with me?

The only reason he's still in bed is he was sat up drinking until gone 4am this morning, apparently being off on the sick while recuperating from his shoulder Op last Friday means he can drink every night again.

I should add that on Tuesday i got a "we need to start going to bed earlier" lecture when he decided to go to bed at midnight and i was up story writing in chat with some American friends.

If I were you, I'd go upstairs, sit your DS on his stomach and say, "I'm off out now. I'll see you both later.", presuming he can lift DS etc with his shoulder.

Wake him up with a cuppa then tell him you are going out now so he needs to get up now. easy?

you're joking ?still in bed t lunchtime-drinking till 4am?

wouldn't happen in my house.
no way.
selfish bastard.

Get the music on LOUD
Open the curtins

Tell him to get his arse out of bed

The only way DP gets to stay in bed due to drinking at my house is if he has been out for something, not because he couldn't drag his sorry arse to bed before 4am.

Go and wake him up, leave DS and a list of things he can do one-handed (which imo, is everything, I do it whilst bfing he can do it with a poorly shoulder.)

Go shopping

We're natural late-nighters.. he works nights and i just don't sleep before 2am anyway.

What annoyed me more than anything is he knows i want to go shopping, and while i don't mind him having a couple of beers before bed, finding 8 empty cans in the bin is ridiculous!!

Why don't you just go and wake him?

Because he gets grumpy and shouty, and if i'm going out without DS i don't want to leave him with DH when he's in a bad mood.

you don;t seem terribly happy with your DH quite a lot....

drinking until 4am more than once or twice a year in this house would get very, very short shrift.

take him a cup of tea, fling open the curtains and leave DS on the bed and go out.

is he not on pain meds ? drinking heavily on painkillers is not a good idea nor is it a good idea when recuperating or healing from surgery

i;d be more worried that you did not feel safe to leave your DS with him when he is an a mood, TBH

He might not be in a bad mood after all he has had 9 hours sleep now so YANU to want him to wake up so you can go out as planned (i take it he knew you wanted him to take care of ds today?)

It is worrying you are scared of his reaction though.

DH and I are having a few issues but we're working through them.

I'm afraid drinking has always been one of my biggest bugbears.. he knows i don't approve but does it anyway. But then i suppose if he's going to drink, better he does it at home than down the pub where it costs more....

With DS its just that i've learned if i leave them together when DH is grumpy, i come home to an even grumpier DH and an upset DS and its just not worth the hassle.

He was on painkillers, but he's stopped taking them and switched to Ibuprofen so he can have a drink without it knocking him out. [rolls eyes]

do you think he is an alcoholic rather than someone who likes to drink?

So choices....
A - you not going
B - you going later
C - take ds with you
D - wake your dh

No, he's not an alcoholic. He usually only has a few cans over the weekend, which i don't mind as long as he doesn't get silly with it.

but once in a while if there is something on his mind he'll sit with a packet of cigarettes and his cans and go through the lot.

He doesn't do it as often as he used to, and in not drinking so much has lost a lot of weight and realised why.

Its boredom and frustration more than anything ATM.. he hates being off sick and not being able to do stuff for himself.

LMG.. i'll give him a bit longer while i have lunch and feed DS, then i'll go get him up.. if he sleeps much longer he won't sleep tonight.

go and wake him now so he ahs time to come round while you eat

fair dos, just that changing pain killers after surgery so you can drink is a bit extreme for most people

hope you get to go out and have a pleasant afternoon