Mumsnet logoby parents for parents
home search join my Mumsnet recipes reviews local sites blogs member discounts shopping classifieds contact a mumsnetter games
log in

moon
Mumsnet members get a 10% discount from Boden (including free returns and free delivery), The White Company, sweaty Betty, Luxury Family Hotels, JoJo Maman Bebe, Siblu, Blooming Marvellous, GLTC, Bump to 3 (the official online shop for Grobags) and more. Click here for more info Join mumsnet here. DiscPart
Mumsnet Discussions: Am I being unreasonable? : to use this childcare although it is for 'deprived' families (33 messages)
Add a message Watch this thread Flip this thread Add new thread in this topic
"
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By ChirpyGirl on Wed 14-May-08 20:23:44
I was talking to HV earlier about finding a playgroup where DD1 (2.3) can go for a few hours a week to get used to other grownups looking after her and larger groups of kids than she is used to.
She mentioned that as I live in a deprived area of town I would be eligible for a free childcare place in some nurseries and could take that.
I am a SAHM and don't need the childcare but it would be nice for reasons above and as I have another DD (7months) so would be nice to have time with just her for swimming etc.

Is that out of order for me to 'take' a place that could go to someone who might desperately need it? I am not deprived/poverty line but would have to budget closely to find money for this if I had to pay.

Opinions?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By PinkChick on Wed 14-May-08 20:25:50
speaking from experience, a lot of the families(were i am) wouldnt use this facility, i found (again were i am) the mum's couldnt be botherd to get up and take them to these groups, so they were really under used..if you need it/want it and a place has been offered take it!
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By stitch on Wed 14-May-08 20:26:13
they wouldnt offer it to you if it was going to be filled in by anyone needier
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By marmadukescarlet on Wed 14-May-08 20:42:34
Although slightly different..

I am currently attending a free parenting course run by local adult ed (we do not have any sure start/children's centre where they would normally be) it is my second one (slightly diff emphasis).

I am not their target market, it is only half full... of people who are not their target market.

I agree with pink.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By tiredemma on Wed 14-May-08 20:45:22
When I worked with the HV's they wanted anybody to use the facilities at Surestart regardless of whether they needed them or not.
This was specifically so that it could be seen as a 'valuable resource' and not pulled at the first instance due to low use by the community.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By ChirpyGirl on Wed 14-May-08 20:54:59
I haven't been offered a place, haven't even contacted them yet. My HV (who is lovely) mentioned it today and I have been seriously considering it as it would do DD a world of good, but I just think I might be being cheap!

So shoudl I ask for a place and if I am offered take it then?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Mollymom on Wed 14-May-08 21:04:23
Yes-take the place, as others have said if its not used it'll go/be closed.

Also agree with Pink-it happens in my area too.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By minouminou on Wed 14-May-08 21:07:50
god, yeah - i was gonna post and say what tiredemma said - so i'll just second her!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Wed 14-May-08 21:40:43
You'your family pay taxes don't you? Of course you should use this place then if you need it.
(Would that this government actually offered anything this useful to this humble taxpayer grin)

On another note are you sure you are eligable?
I'm under the impression you have to be in receipt of working tax credit/single parent or in some other way 'needy'

On a third note is she just talking about the nursery education grant?

On a final note I keep getting sent minutes of some meetings round here (I have no idea why) I've just chucked them in the recycling so I can't give you figures but this council seems to be spending literally hundreds of thousands of pounds a year on a variety of sessions that are poorly/non attended eg speach therapist running abby massage class folded after 2/3 sessions, they have outreach workers and family support workers and a whole plethora of titles that mean very little to me who issue reports saying thay in the last 3 months they have seen 5 clients 4 of whom were discharged wiht reassurance and 1 of whom was referred on to someone else.!!

On a final note (I mean it this time) it has been widely recognised that here in inner London it is the yummymummies who access the surestart babymassage and free creche
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Wed 14-May-08 21:42:09
Sorry I've just seen her age she isn't talking about the NEG

(sorry about the typos
I mean baby and with
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By madamez on Wed 14-May-08 21:43:23
If you would struggle to pay for it then you are actually 'needy' as in you need it. You don't have to be a Ginsters-munching fag-smoking 12-year-old single mother to be allowed access to state-funded services, you know.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By trixymalixy on Wed 14-May-08 21:47:08
If you are eligible then go for it!!!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Wed 14-May-08 21:49:12
You need to be 'needy' or pay over the ods round here madamez
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Wed 14-May-08 21:50:11
Although as I said the received wisdom is in some areas that surestart is full of yummymummies! grin
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By madamez on Wed 14-May-08 22:40:26
This is getting a bit 'oooh, is it right for me to use public transport when I could afford a cab?' Should they meanstest P&T groups?
Dear Potential New Mummy Member
Please fill out the following to see if you are disadvantaged enough to attend our group.

We shop at
Netto
Iceland because we love that nice Kerry Katona
Waitrose
Waitrose but we only buy things from the past-sell-by-date cupboard honestly

My DD is called
Mooncup
Bacardi-Chanelle
Ethel
Hermione-Luna-Lovegood-Lily-Harry-Potter

My DP/DH is
Something in the City
Head of bogroll at Lidl
I can't remember which of them it was
Inside but for protesting against the Iraq War

I want my DC to attend your group to learn about
The environment
socialising with other kids
how to hotwire a car
crayons and glitter somewhere I don't have to clear it up.........
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Wed 14-May-08 22:47:04
lol Madamez
v funny grin
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By ChirpyGirl on Thu 15-May-08 20:07:39
lol madamez, my point wasn't that I couldn't afford it but I didn't need it as I am a SAHM so I am able to look after her all the time, I just fancy a morning off, I don't want to take it from someone who needs it to work IYSWIM.

I could pay for a session a week, like I say, I would need to budget but it wouldn't mean beans on toast for a week

(Oh, and I shop at none of those, mainly cos 2 of them don't exist where I live and I hate the fact that Iceland has no fecking parking...otherwise I would shop there...but that's another story!)
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By Bubble99 on Thu 15-May-08 20:11:25
In our area 'deprived' families don't seem to want to use it. So yes, use it - or it will close.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By ChirpyGirl on Thu 15-May-08 20:16:09
Sorry, 1dilemma, this is something called 'flying start' apparently, completely free nursery places for under 3's in deprived areas, no other benefits needed and not a grant.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By chegirl on Thu 15-May-08 20:26:54
I dont know if I would describe myself as deprived (not a fantastic label) but we are on a very low income that could get lower any day (OH has MS and works very part time but may have to stop anytime, disabled LO and I cannot work for a while).
Anyway - point is we are probably classed as needy I would not object to you using facility. Just cos we are a bit poor and sad does not mean I only want my kids to mix with kids from poor, sad homes! I prefer groups to be mixed, not some sort of chav ghetto OR a so middle class that you are out of place if your kid is not at ballet, viola and Manderin classes by 8mths!

If you want your LO to go then do it (you have my permission wink
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Sat 17-May-08 00:57:15
chirpy I think Madamez was amking fun of my comments

What I was trying to say is I'm sure it's called flying start or superstart or whatever in parts of eg Hackney too however in those areas it's widely recognised that the provision isn't used by those it was intended for but by people in £800000 pound houses whose dcs do do Mandarin and are just looking for someone to cover when the au-pair is at language classes grin

I'm guessing you're not a Londoner? I'm being scathing but from what I've heard and from the minutes of these meetings (and I have no idea why I'm getting them) it hardly seems like a great way to spend my hard earned cash does it? hmm
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By ChirpyGirl on Sat 17-May-08 20:29:09
I'm in south wales, so it's not your taxes! grin
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Sat 17-May-08 22:31:09
phew
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By gothicmama on Sat 17-May-08 22:34:36
if you wouls struggle to fund teh place and it is aoffered to you take it up , in the long run if the places are taken funding is more likely to be granted in future years therefore you are doing the community a good turn as well as benefitiing both of you dc's
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By TotalChaos on Sat 17-May-08 22:36:12
even yummy mummies may need support - yummy mummies aren't immune from mental health problems and having children with special needs such that they would benefit from Surestart facilities.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Sat 17-May-08 22:37:21
The yummymummise I'm thinking off are well able to find their own playgroups
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Sat 17-May-08 22:37:45
They can probably spell too [blush}
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By TotalChaos on Sat 17-May-08 22:40:07
yeah but no but. DS has big problems with language (12 months ago assessed as being severely delayed with speech and understanding). I felt far more confident that a Surestart led group would be sympathetic (and appropriately trained)to deal with his problems with language than a bogstandard private run jojingles/musical minis type group.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Sat 17-May-08 22:47:37
I'm confused why would jojingles be in any way equipped to deal with severe language etc dalay? It's 30 minutes of banging a tambourine isn't it.

I would have thought you should be getting proper advice about that kind of stuff from a Dr/SALT/physio etc according to problem, have you been to see your GP to get referred?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By TotalChaos on Sat 17-May-08 22:55:09
I was advised by HV and private SALT to take DS to as many mainstream toddler groups as possible, to help with his social and language skills. Music groups are useful as they encourage listening skills, which are important in developing speech and communication skills.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Sat 17-May-08 22:59:13
ahh
you must have been bored senseless grin

there's only so many times I can sing the wheels on the bus without falling asleep...

Bit shock you had to get private SALT
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By TotalChaos on Sat 17-May-08 23:02:04
oh I see my post about "deal with language" wasn't well expressed - by deal with I didn't mean give him speech therapy - just that the people would be understanding if he didn't follow instructions/concentrate at story time as well as the other kids his age.

in terms of private SALT - I first "knew" something was amiss when DS was 2.3 - couldn't get referral until DS was 3.0 - and then there was an 8 month wait for first assessment. So I didn't want to hang on any longer once he was 3 - as by 3, it's a lot less likely that a late talker will magically sort themselves out and catch up without intervention.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By 1dilemma on Sat 17-May-08 23:06:52
ah
We went to monkey music once and the woman got her knickers very knotted about where my dc sat then they twirled round with a chiffon scarf for 10 minutes.

we never went back

they hounded us for weeks by phone to register (even got cheery phone call number 22 to tell me we were all registered for next term!)

that's a long wait


Add your message here

Message
Emphasis: To bold a word, surround it with asterisks, so *hello* will display hello. For underline use _ , so _hello_ gives hello. For italics use ^, so ^hello^ gives hello. To strike out a word, surround it with two hyphens either side, so --dog-- gives dog

Links and smileys: To insert a smiley face,  , type [smile] or :)
For a big grin,  , type [grin] or :o
For a wink,  , type [wink]
For a shocked face,  , type [shock]
For an angry face,  , type [angry]
For an embarrassed face,  , type [blush]
For a sad face,  , type [sad] or :(
For an envious face,  , type [envy]
For a sceptical face,  , type [hmm]

Links The simplest way to insert a link is to enter the link itself, surrounded by [[ and ]]. So if you type [[www.mumsnet.com]], the link will display as http://www.mumsnet.com. If you want your link to display text other than the web address itself, leave a space after the address then add the text before the ]]. So "Look at [[www.mumsnet.com this page]]", would display "Look at this page".
Nickname:
Password:
To post a message you need a valid mumsnet nickname and password. If you have forgotten your nickname, click here for a reminder. If you are not yet a member of mumsnet, you can join here.