His collegue was having a BBQ at the weekend and told DH that a friend of mine, who has a 5 week old DS whom she BF, was coming along, bringing her DD and DS too.
He said he was really pleased she was bringing her DS. I thought, oh now nice, he wants to see the LO
No, he went on to say, yeah cos she breastfeeds you know and is bound to need to feed him at some point!

OMG is that not just disgusting, even in jest!!

Then DH disgraced himself by saying to me, yeah but she would take herself off to the bathroom if needs be.
I flipped Why should she remove herself!?
Because there would be lots of people there, I just thought she would be more comfortable to remove herself.

Arrgh!! I BF my DD, surley he knows how discreet I was and therefore how discreet she would be. There again with his collegue saying things like that maybe she should remove herself, but not to a smelly old toilet! Ok I am not impliying his toilet is smelly, but no BF mum should have to feel the need to BF in a loo, esp at a friends house, but then she is not aware of his vile comment!

Message withdrawn

I agree it's an awful thing to say. But you know what men are like together - it was probably a light hearted remark made in jest to your dh that he didn't expect to be repeated to anyone. And if he hasn't had much to do with mums and their babies then he couldn't realise how offensive this might seem to someone who was bf.

I can see where you're coming from but I think YAB a bit U and should take it as the jokey blokey throw-away comment it was and forget about it

TBH I think your dh who clearly knows better as you bf your dd is more unreasonable than this guy but I can also see that he probably meant well

My lovely, strident SIL told her dh's friend when he passed similar sort of 'blokey' comment when she was bf that the only tit on display was him.

Heated pmsl!!!

I love that!

haha yeah I liked that one too, heated!

No, I know the lady and I doubt it would occur to her to take herself away. We are in Scotland too so I dunno if that changes things for anyone re the removing yourself bit.

I think they were both pretty darned stupid comments and was very angry with DH for suggesting going to the bathroom. Poor man just shrank into the couch at my reaction.
But he surprised me by not wanting me to feed in public with DD. When I did it anyway and he came, out of a queue, to chat and didn't even notice what I was doing (my own husband!) you would have thought he would have learnt that lesson!?

But I am not on to attack my DH just his collegue!

I think your DH probably felt like he was saying the right thing...at least you have educated him.
As for his colleague - I'm sure it's a fairly common reaction, and part of the reason why normalising bf is so crucial.

well, now you know why he didn't want you to feed in public - because he has twat-brained immature mates who would be going 'phoar phwoar' at the (mistaken) notion that your breasts would be being paraded.

Blokey-jokey maybe, but still stupid and still (as shown here) has an effect on people, for the worse.

What a wanker. YANBU.

why do men never fail to live down to our expectations? (prats)

dear oh dear oh dear
men are such charming creatures.

jesus, it was a lighthearted joke. Get over it.

FWIW - I think its so bloody sexist that on threads here you get women calling men 'prats' and 'wankers' and such like, because they made a remark about women.

Double standards?