I only let DD drink water or milk but she has been asking for squash/fizzy drinks lately, as she see lots of other kids have it and, more importantly, she sees me and DH drink it. I've been saying "no, it's only for grown-ups" but is that fair? Can I really expect her to be satisfied with "it isn't good for you" if she sees me drink it too? I have said that it isn't good for anybody but it's worse for little children but I don't know if she's buying that And please no nagging me about how I should be setting an example and not drinking it myself, as I already know I should

How old is your Dd?

i had this problem as i only let mine have water or milk so in the end i have stopped buying cordial.
i just get the fresh stuff now and stick to water myself.
fair is fair.

I felt exactly the same as you. And she's going to see other children drinking it too isn't she and while it's clear some things (coffee, wine etc) are just for adults it will be harder to stick to this when she sees other children her own age drinking it.

So we give ds squash but literally so it just covers the bottom of his cup (about 1-2mm) and then fill it up with water. I don't have an issue with this personally. Another thing I do is give him fresh juice diluted 50/50ish with water.

However if you don't want her to have even this small amount then I think you need to think about how you're going to explain other children having it.

if you know you'll give in, buy Rock's Organic or similar which is just fruit juice and sugar, no sweeteners or crap.
Tastes nicer too so she is more likely to go 'oh yuk, water please' if offered Robinson's shite.

I give DS squash, but like alicet i only put a tiny bit in just to add a bit of flavour, its 99% water.

Squash is all i drink anyway.

can't you just give her juice?

agree half juice half water is good for most toddlers esp when it's hot.

I don't believe in getting DCs to do something differently to you, you either have to let her have some or give up drinking it yourself.
I never know why there is all the fuss about squash, I used to give the slightest colouring and the rest was water-much healthier than lots of pure fruit juice (and better for the teeth).
It also means that if you are out they can hace the squash and you can water it down if you think it is too strong.
I don't buy cheap squash with lots of additives.

sorry have not hace!

I think if I were you I would just stop buying it.

Hi, please excuse my ignorance but can someone please explain what is wrong with pure fruit juice?

And also, is squash REALLY so bad? My brother and I have both drunk it all our lives and have great teeth and health. We never really had fizzy drinks at home though - in those days my mum considered them unhealthy and squash was the healthy alternative.

If you really don't want her to drink it, it is a bit mean you having it in front of her. She'll know it's not just for adults if she sees other kids having it. Can you drink it secretly?! Or just give her some really diluted.

Serenity, DD is 5.
She isn't drinking much water at all lately, which isn't good, especially in this heat!, so I bought some fresh juice and diluted that. but I dilute it a lot, so the carton is going to go off before she can finish it which is a waste - I'm investigating something to freeze small portions in to get over this problem. The other problem with proper fruit juice is that I loved the stuff and can't stop drinking it (not good on WeightWatchers!) I don't want her drinking juice all the time as it's too much sugar. Of course it's a natural sugar, but too much of it still isn't good (she potentially has a higher risk of diabetes so I'm keen to avoid too much juice).
AbbeyA, the fuss about squash is, I think, merely that they see other children drinking it so they assume they're missing out on something. I simply can't drink plain water myself, it makes me heave.

Freeze it in icecube trays, then tip the cubes into a resealable bag. Then could just add the cube to water and it will cool it down too. Lovely! Good idea actually - might do it myself!

I really don't think you should drink it secretly! Either you drink it as a family or you don't-an intelligent DC will be quick to ask why it is OK for you and not for her. I still fail to see what is wrong with squash if you do it nearly all water.

Littlepeanut, nothing wrong with a glass or two of pure fruit juice, but it's not good to drink it in large quantities. It's better than squash of course, not denying that, but there are other issues with that too (see above).

little peanut - pure fruit juice is really acidic and sugary, better if you squeeze your own, but still full of natural sugars. Don't think squash is really so bad if you dilute it a lot, it just seems unnecessary if they will drink water, much better for them. We used to drink squash when little and our teeth are fine, but only started to drink water late in life because all the squash gave me a sweet tooth.

I think squash in Ok in small quantities and is better than drinking nothing.

My dds tend to have once glass a day when they home from school/nursery as they are so thirsty I just want them to drink.

try the high-jiuce variety, it's usually about 50% fresh juice.

I think you only want pure fruit juice once a day. The weight would pile on if I drank it in huge quantities.

Setting aside the practicalities of persuading her that she should give up asking () and of getting her to drink enough in the hot weather, I thnk that htere is nothing wrong in principle with saying something is suitable/OK for you but not her. Doesn't the same apply to going to bed at 11pm, watching scary films, and all sorts of other stuff?

Alright, perhaps not drink it behind the door or anything, but not right in front of her. If she won't drink much (I have this problem with ds sometimes), perhaps a straw or filling a water bottle will encourage her a bit or perhaps some fizzy water (expensive though).

No added sugar squash?

Thank you TJ ad CC for responding to me (I was expecting to be ignored!!)

My DD (2 and a half) usually has a cup of apple juice with her lunch. The rest of the time she has weak squash. She won't drink water on its own, but I can't blame her, I find it boring too.

I think you are fair - I'm drinking coke in this hot weather (never do normally) but my children aren't allowed it. I just say it's for grown ups. I don't really care what other children are allowed - it's up to me what mine eat and drink.

grievousangel have you read the ingredients on a bottle on sugar free squash?

I'd prefer dd to have sugar to that!

What's all this stuff about not drinking it yourself then? So I have to give up wine now do I?! I don't think so!

I think you may have to give in and let her drink it or she will just keep asking or refusing to drink water

BUT only let her have it at tea time/with meals - believe me the novalty will soon wear off and it will cease to be an issue

All my DC are allowed to drink what they like with their dinner fizzy/squash/fresh juice/milk or water they know this and only have water the rest of the time - I still drink what i feel like and if they ask for it i say yes you can have some of mine they have a sip and off they go back their water happy that they have had some!

btw i don't actually tell them they can only have water its just that thats all they ask for most of the time!! lucky i guess

It is squash! Not acid or bleach fgs! As long as it's no added sugar and they aren't drinking it from a teat which is hanging from their teeth 24/7 and they are brushing teeth twice a day - then what is the problem?
Can't honestly believe that all mumsnetters don't give their children good old fashioned squash!

I was denied quite a lot of foods as a child; my best friend was denied nothing. It just made me obsess about all the things I couldn't have. I'd say relax a little about it, let her have squash sometimes (it won't kill her) but decide in advance when she's going to be allowed it, then you will still feel in control, but she won't feel like she's missing out. It does seem unfair if you are allowed to drink it that she isn't, and she will be very aware of your double-standard.

i think a little bit of balance is called for, a little squash, a little juice, a little milk is not really going to your dcs, just make sure they clean their teeth well and all will be fine

anything 'prohibited' always takes on a 'must have' glow!

Of course doing the same doesn't apply to going to bed at 11pm or similar!! There are answers that you can give to that. I don't believe with diet (apart from alcohol and other purely adult things)that you can give a reasonable answer for not doing the same. If you don't want your DC to eat chocolate then you can't, if you don't want them to have squash then you can't-it should be a family thing. It is like people who cycle as a family and only the DCs wear helmets! You have to say 'do as I do' not 'do as I say' unless there is a valid reason as in the amount of sleep needed or suitable films etc.It is hypocritical to drink squash yourself and tell them it is bad for them and they have to have water.

please don't give no added sugar squash

<shudders>

YANBU.

You're allowed to drink tea, coffee and gin too. She can't. Children aren't allowed to do everything that mummy and daddy are. Nothing mean about that, it's part of your job as a parent to make decisions that you believe keep her healthy and safe. If her not drinking squash is one of your choices, so be it.

Agree with Effie - no added sugar drinks are full of utter crap.

Squash is for children. Adults keeping it to themselves sounds pretty childish to me. Like someone already said adults also have coffee, wine, spirits, beer to keep to themselves so why include squash in the grown-up stuff?

No added sugar anything is far worse than the equivalent with sugar imo. All those sweeteners... they aren't good for you.

HOWEVER

I drink diet coke by the gallon as does dh who also drinks sugar free squash. DD otoh drinks water, milk, diluted juice and full sugar squash.

The way I see it - I am making an informed choice about the crap I put in my body, i know I shouldn't do it but hey, there's worse stuff out there than diet coke (I know some may disagree on that point!). DD however is 3 years old and doesn't give a monkey's arse about sweeteners and possible bad effects thereof - is is therefore my duty as her parent to make that choice for her.

A bit of sugar doesn't do a young child any harm as long as their teeth are brushed and they are active enough to burn off what goes in.

If you have decided that your DC is not drinking squash to keep her healthy and safe that is fine if you don't drink it either. If it is unhealthy for her it is unhealthy for you-it is not like the question of coffee etc as squash is marketed for children.

YABU if you drink it yourself.

I dont have squash in the house, my children drink mostly milk or water or juice. We all have fizzy drinks or squash type things together as an occasional treat.

In Germany there is a very cheap and FAB drink called Apfelschorle, which is 60% apple juice, 40% water, no added sugar, fizzed up. It satisfies most of my children's fizzy drinks cravings. I dont know why it isnt more widely available in other countries.

Yes it is unhealthy for me - but I know it is that that's the difference. As far as I'm concerned it's no different to alcohol or coffee - a little bit in moderation is fine.

However dd doesn't understand that sweeteners are horrible and that most things in moderation are OK, it is easier not to let her have it at all than to try and restrict something that isn't necessary anyway. I accept that at this stage it is easy to do that (she is 3.10) but as she gets older it will be harder as peer pressure will kick in.

I agree about marketing though. Sugar free stuff shouldn't be aimed at children. DH drinks sugar free stuff because he is diabetic and the benefits of sugar free drinks far outweigh the consequences of drinking them.

Squash is a child's drink (I don't know why anyone would want to drink it anyway!).If you are against it then you can give your reasons (when they are old enough to ask)and they will be valid ones.However I couldn't look a DC in the eye-give them the reasons and tell them that even though I am not going to let them have it, I intend to drink it myself. If you want your DCs to have a healthy diet then you have to embrace it as a family and a way of life. It is not the same as coffee etc because you can tell them that caffeine isn't suitable for children and they can decide for themselves when they are old enough.

I don't agree that squash is a child's drink. I know plenty of adults who drink it regularly, although I don't myself. IMO aspartame is no different to caffeine so I would use the same line as for the caffeine

DD drinks squash - just not dh's sugar free stuff. She doesn't drink diet coke either. It may well be "do as I say not as I do" but I wouldn't let her touch wine or coffee and I see no difference between those and diet coke or sugar free squash.

I wouldn't give them coke -but I wouldn't drink coke myself. I hate this double standard-unless it is an age related.
I think that I would have been annoyed as a dc if I had been restricted to water while my mother drank squash-I would have pushed her for reasons.

Did your parents drink squash TigerFeet and refuse to let you have any? Maybe that's why you think it's an adult drink.

Most people drink squash when they are children and move on to coffee, tea etc when they are adults.

Gdg I agree totally, I do alot of things and eat and drink alot of things that I wouldn't offer the girls.

I particularly would never give them no added sugar\sugar free things .......aspartame is vile stuff.

Are there really that many peopel that don't allow their children to drink squash?

We have a jug full on the side constantly that they can help themseleves too

*to

Mine have water constantly available, can't bear the thought of the sugar constantly in contact with their teeth.

I have never been able to understand why fruit juice (fattening and bad for the teeth)is better than a drink that can be weakly flavoured water. I wouldn't want a toddler to have more than one drink of watered down fruit juice per day.

Tinkjon - thanks, just nice to know how little she was.

Ok, for me, as I don't have huge issues with Dcs drinking well diluted squash, yes, it seems unfair that you can chug it back and she's stuck with water or milk. However, if you really believe that it's in your DDs best interest not to drink it, then for you it's not unfair. You're doing what you think is in your Dds best interests

Some interesting thoughts there, thanks everyone! I don't really object to her having the odd glass of squash here and there, it just seems like something which is so easy to avoid. Or at least it did do until recently!

Do as I say not as I do in my house..

I drink gallons of diet coke, despite knowing how bad it is for me - but no way am I going to allow DD (4.4) have any.

I don't buy squash so she will only have water, milk or watered down juice at home.

However, when we are out she is allowed much more, basically anything except coke or fruit shoots!.. (well have to admit to allowing that on occassion)...

My house, my rules, no-one ever said that I had to be fair....

She seems to understand that she isn't allowed coke, but will ask for Mummy Beer or Daddy Wine occassionally...

At what age are you going to allow DD to have your diet coke Heifer? It is no problem at pre school, but if you are not letting her have it at the age that she knows friends have it- how are you going to defend the hypocrisy of it?

Of course YABU.

If you don't want her to have squash, if you think it is Bad, then don't have it yourself in front of her.

I'm with GDG, Hattrick et al.

Although we don't tend to have squash at home anyway.

Whenever I hear of a parent who sips or nibbles on something while denying it to their children, I always think of Aunt Sponge and Aunt Spike. It's rather mean, in a way.

If you want your DCs to have a healthy diet then the whole family needs to have a healthy diet. You can't impose it on DCs and have a different one for yourselves-they soon pick up the message that you think unhealthy food is nicer! If you drink diet coke and they have to have water then you are giving them the message that diet coke is nicer.(I would honestly rather have iced filtered water than coke which I dislike anyway).

Abbey what are you talking about? How do you explain a glass of wine if you are drinking that?

My children don't like alcohol. There's one big difference.

you explain a glass of wine by saying that their immature livers will pack up, they will be violently sick and then they will be taken away by social services

I'm afraid I don't think that not allowing dd some of the things that I eat/drink is hypocrasy. I am big enough and ugly enough to make my own bad decisions. Why should I eat and drink the same things as my toddler? I agree that the family as a whole should have a healthy diet but I can't see the point in denying myself the odd fizzy drink because I don't want dd to be drinking it.

If you had read the whole thread then you would see that I have mentioned wine as being different-you can explain to a DC why you can have wine and they can't, I really don't think that you can justify drinking squash and not letting them have any. It isn't a problem with a toddler but it would be as they get older. A healthy diet should be for the whole family-not something imposed on DCs, while you eat and drink any old rubbish. There will come a point where they point out the sheer hypocrisy of it-unless you relax completely once they get past about the age of 7. I couldn't look a 10 year old in the eye and tell him he had to have water but it was OK for me to drink diet coke. If it is bad for him it is bad for you.

Well, I'm the parent and I can quite happily do one thing while tell my children to do another. I make the rules in this house. The same way I can stay up and watch TV till 11pm at night and they can't plus 1001 other things.

When it comes to coke, I just say it's for grown ups, the same way I do for wine (yes I know the difference but my 5 year old doesn't!).

And God help you if you can't look a 10 year old in the eye and say that what you say goes, sometimes without question. That's half the blardy problem with some parents nowadays - they just can't say 'no', without some long winded explanation. THey are CHILDREN!

But a ten year old knows perfectly well that coke is not just for grown ups-what do you do then?

I would say 'my house, my rules - I am the boss'. Simple.

Although actually I would probably let a 10 year old have coke on the odd occasion anyway - I'm just using it as an example. If I wanted to say 'no' to something, whatever that was, I just would - I don't have to always justify my decisions to my children. Lots of things could be described as 'hypocritical' when it comes to parenting - I remember saying 'it's not fair' quite a lot as a child but, hey, that's life isn't it!

I agree that having children is a great way to look at your own habits and make better choices. If Tinkjon wants to push the boat out, as an adult, and have some squash without introducing it into dcs diet for whatever reason, then she will just have to put up with the constant harrassment, I think, unless she does it when they're not there. yanbu to drink squash without giving them any if you don't want them to have it, but yabu to do it in front of them and expect them to ignore it, when it's all shiny and colourful.

Gobbledigook, I agree with my house, my rules, doesn't stop mine keeping on though, grinding your down, luckily I'm as stubborn as a mule.

try drinking just water and milk for a few weeks and see how bored you get.
i dont see anything wrong with fruit juices and squash just not in large quantities.

if drinking becomes to boring they just wont bother like i did as a child cos my mum was strict and i had problems with dehydration

that rocks organic squash is good-sure lots of sugar but no nasties like aspatame

i think its a bit mean at 5 just to give waterand milk especially if you drink it

It all depends why you want your toddler to have a healthy diet. I would be wanting them to make life choices and to always eat healthily and seeing that I wouldn't want a 10 year old or a 15 year old to be stuffing burgers and downing huge quantities of coke I would lead by example. It is easy to control the diet of a toddler but it gets more difficult as they get older.I was a fairly easy child but 'because I say so' always made me want to do the opposite!
I am fairly authoritarian, it is my house so I make up the rules, but I have reasons and logic behind the rules.

YABU

Children model what they us do, no matter what we say

Agree that having a child forced me to address my own bad habits!

I had same issue with dd (nearly 5) - she is much keener on eating than drinking

We just alternate one glass of water with one glass of something else (watered down fruit juice or watered down good quality squash). That's the rule - no exceptions - and she's fine with it. But with both stick with the rule.

I know what you mean about finding drinking water "heavy" to get down. I went through a bad phase of not drinking water - ever. But you can overcome it and get used to it. To start with I served myself water with ice and lemon or lime in a nice glass and although it's a bit of a faff, it helps. Gave myself (and dd) a reward (recorded with star chart) for drinking four/five cups a day ...gradually built it up over time ....we both like it now and it's not a problem ...

Forgot - one exception - hypocrite that I am.

She drinks milk and I can't stomach the stuff!

I think TigerFeet's posts are very good.

I drink faaaar too much diet coke. And water, yes, and a bit of coffee and a bit of wine. DD is not having diet coke. Eventually I will not ban fizzy drinks (why do you think I got hooked on the beastly stuff?) because I hope to bring her up to enjoy it in moderation.
The whatever you like at meal times (can't remember who said it, sorry) seems sensible - might do that one when dd is older.

I drink Coke and my dcs are not allowed it and eat things they can't have too, they're children and I'm a grown up.
FFS why can't children and adults have different rules that's what wrong with most precocious little brats anyway. I pmsl at one post that said she didn't believe that dcs should do things differently to adults, Jesus Christ?????
Anyway what about carbonated water for you? With a twist iof lemon or lime? Some are pretty cheap too. That's really nice or allow your dc to have squash on weekends?
In all honesty my children have smoothies, usually fresh or water(which they still love). I give my children apple and orangaid which is carbonated water with juice, not from concentrate.
The worst things for teeth are Raisins my MW told me because they're just as bad as sweets we just don;t know it!!!

Not at all unreasonable. I know its extreme, but would you let them smoke a cig if you were having one or drink a glass of vino?

A healthy diet for a child under 5 is different to a healthy diet for an adult anyway. Eg. they need a much higher proportion of fats and lower amount of fibre than an adult.

So those that have to have their children eating exactly the same as them - do you force your child or yourself into the bad eating pattern?

Nothing wrong with having age-related differences in diet for many reasons.

Squash/coke/whatever is a much higher proportion of a young child/toddler's diet where it's a much smaller proportion of your own. Me having a slab of chocolate in the evening when I know I've had my five portions of fruit/veg and had a good balanced diet in the day is nothing. A toddler having the same sized slab of chocolate will mean the "good stuff" in their diet is heavily displaced for that day.

(I do tend to save the "adult" stuff for the evenings though, when they're in bed)

As a family you should be having a healthy diet-not the same proportions but you should be sharing the same meals. You wouldn't give a toddler the same sized piece of chocolate. I just think there is something very unfair in policing your DCs diet rigidly when you find it too difficult to do for yourself. I have said over and over again that there is no difficulty in telling a DC that they can't have wine-there are very good reasons why not.

AbbeyA, and the same for squash right? My dcs don;t have mould ripened cheese or unpasturised stuff when they're young, an adult saying no is a good enough reason. Sometimes 'because I said so' is a good reason too. I really do not agree with treating children like mini adults, they are children and that's a whole different ballgame, where one is not equal to the other. I have met far too many 'special ones' who have Mummy and Daddy treating them en a par with them and they are not the best behaved at parties!!

I give up on this one!! The OP asked if she was unreasonable not to allow DD to drink squash when she drinks it and I think she is. I think the whole family should have a healthy diet-NOT exactly the same. It is easy to police a toddlers diet. It isn't easy later on and restricting a DC to water is going to make the alternatives look very inviting. The worst behaved DCs at parties IMO are those who are not allowed crisps etc at home. I think it is hypocritical to ban chocolate entirely for your DC and then eat it yourself. Everything in moderation.All this bad food, good food idea is setting up problems for later. I am not saying anything else on the subject.

100 ml of pure orange juice has 42 calories -thats not bad is it? And it has vitamins in it...

I don't get the problem with SOME fruit juice..?

Let's just remember that the OP's dd is 5 - so we are saying what she is reasonable to do now. NOt when her dd is 10.

"I'm big and you're small
I'm right and you're wrong"

from the film Matilda. This thread is all a bit dahlesque.

both my kids 1 and 4 have dilute juice and yes sometimes my daughter will drink fizzy pop a little bit wont hurt and plus if im drinking it i dont think its fair that i ban my kids from drinking it.