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Mumsnet Discussions: Am I being unreasonable? : for having a girls' night out the same day DH has the snip? (17 messages)
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Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By JoshandJamie on Mon 12-May-08 12:44:36
DH is having a vasectomy on Friday. I forgot (bad wife) and arranged a girls' night out - something that I VERY rarely do largely because we can never get a date when everyone is free. In fact going out for me is something of a novelty.

DH has said that it's fine if I want to go out but I think he felt a bit sorry for himself. Is it heartless of me to go out and leave him sitting at home with an icepack on his bollocks? Should I be staying in giving him some love and affection (although obviously not that type of affection)? Or should I just go ahead with my girls night and leave him at home with a bottle of wine?

Thoughts?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By EffiePerine on Mon 12-May-08 12:45:23
Um, I would rearrange.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By mumblechum on Mon 12-May-08 12:46:20
Flip it over. How would you feel if you were recovering from minor surgery and he flounced off when you got home?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By alarkaspree on Mon 12-May-08 12:47:27
I think you should rearrange too. He is having a painful procedure that benefits both of you as a couple - show some gratitude, woman!
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By shinyshoes on Mon 12-May-08 12:49:28
Do you have children? I would rearrange if you have children as they might be hard to manage or to fetch things for if his balls hurt, (I dont know what your children are like or what their ages are)

If you don't have children I would go out, he might be glad of the peace and quiet in his own surroundings.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By dirtylittlepunk on Mon 12-May-08 12:51:38
i would go out anyway
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By MamaG on Mon 12-May-08 12:51:41
Yes, I think you should rearrange
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By TheFallenMadonna on Mon 12-May-08 12:52:46
I would rearrange.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Chequers on Mon 12-May-08 12:52:59
Message withdrawn
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By expatinscotland on Mon 12-May-08 12:53:47
YABU.

Rearrange.

It isn't pain free.

Besides, he can't drink if he's using co-codamol or other high strength pain reliever.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By JoshandJamie on Mon 12-May-08 12:54:06
we have children - 2 and 4 - but they'll be in bed and asleep before i go out so he wouldn't have to do anything with them.

he does seem to genuinely not care if I go out but i think he'd probably appreciate having someone here to fetch him drinks/snacks/comfort food etc.

I should probably be a good wife and cancel. Not the end of the world I know.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By PuppyMonkey on Mon 12-May-08 12:55:40
What if he had probs post op or something? I don't think it's quite the same as just having a tooth out you know...
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By FrannyandZooey on Mon 12-May-08 12:56:47
yes rearrange
he can't know how he will feel in advance
and I don't rreally get why you would want to go out when he has just had surgery?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By kslatts on Mon 12-May-08 12:57:21
I would re-arrange if my children were 2 and 4, what if one of them wakes up. But, if I had just had minor surgery I wouldn't mind if DH went out.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By expatinscotland on Mon 12-May-08 12:57:21
Also if he developed post op problems, he won't be able to drive himself anywhere.

And he'll also have the kids to deal with.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By OrmIrian on Mon 12-May-08 12:57:50
You do need to rethink this. It's not just a question of wanting tea and sympathy, he will struggle to deal with children in any capacity. It's very painful in most cases.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By JoshandJamie on Mon 12-May-08 12:58:09
Right got it. Thank you! Have cancelled.


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