Ok I had a child free day today as DSs were with ex so I took myself over to Canary Wharf where I sat in the gardens outside Jubilee Place eating a lovely lunch.

A group of parents and kids (mostly under 6) came there to have a picnic, sat down started to swig champagne.

Meanwhile the children are drawn, quite naturally, to the various, quite deep ponds (about 3-4 ft) which raise up out of the ground.

One little boy in particular was very keen to dip his feet in etc. One of the dads came over and half heartedly told them that they shouldn't do that because they might fall in.

Then went back to the group most of whom had the back turned towards the kids. Then the kids decided to play it which was fiine.

But they were drawn back to the ponds and when I left the said boy was leaning over to retrieve something from some stepping stones. Parents not looking. Another whose parents were sunbathing was walking around the edge!

Another mother coming by with her child in a pushchair looked horrified and I did pass comment to her.

I am not normally so judgy judgy but this made me feel really anxious and in the end I left because I couldn't stand to see one of these kids fall in.

I like a drink as much as the next person and know how easy it is to get distracted when in a group. But where water is concerned I feel you can't be too careful.

OK rant over.

only adults drinking champagne btw

Erm, am I missing something, so rather than actually go over and tell them their child was about to fall in, you walked off and passed comment to someone else!

I was wondering that too.

I can see your point but why didn't you say anything to the child if not the parent?

Well I did keep an eye at the little boy a few times when he was near me and I think that stopped him from going further on that particular occasion.

But then he went back to his group and then when I left
he was round the other side of the pond with some other kids.

I wouldn't have felt entirely comfortable with going up to a large group of parents and telling them to keep a better eye on their kids.

And I am weary of starting conversations with kids on their own and when I am on my own because they might have been told not to speak to strangers.

Maybe you think I should have become more involved. When he was closer to me I would have managed to grab him probably if he had fallen in.

But I wouldn't expect a random stranger to keep an eye on mine in that situation.

Sorry wary!

Well I was leaving as I had finished my lunch.

Knew I shouldn't have posted this!!

Don't get me wrong, they should have been keeping an eye on their kids and it's not your responsibility but I would have just said to them 'Excuse me, your child is about to fall in that pond', that's hardly telling them how to parent their child.
Still different strokes...

was it round the actual docks, or sort of ornamental fountain / ponds?

tbh, if the kids were about 6, and several together, and people all around, and it was ornamental water features with clear water, the idea of one of them falling in unnoticed would be practically nil. The other kids would all yell - and adult would come and yank them out and they would have to get home with a soaking wet child.

If it was the dark murky docks - yes, much more scary.

But they weren't about to fall in, were they? They used their physical skills to ensure that they didn't.

Onarmental raised pond. Yes there were loads of people around so it wouldn't have gone unnoticed by any means.

But the kid would have had a nasty shock and there was alot of green slime in it.

Perhaps I am a bit paranoid/overprotective about this as I once pulled a child out of a pool on holiday - he was 4 and fell through his rubber ring.

But surely, if you had seen one falling in, you could have pulled him out? Water is dangerous, but it's not dangerous in the way that a busy road is- it doesn't kill, or even injure, instantly. Children who drown do so because they fall in where nobody can see them.

Yes of course I would have pulled said child out.

Perhaps I was judging said children by my own DS2 (6) who is quite accident prone and probably would have fallen in!

Sometimes I can be completely focused on where DS is and what he's doing and take a risk assessment without actually obviously watching him full on, but more like out of the corner of my eye, for all you know that's what these parents where doing.

You know what it's like being a parent, we have eyese in the back of our heads and a sixth sense when it comes to keeping an eye on our kids, witout having to be obviously watching them.

I wouldn't be so quick to judge, sometimes we nedd to trust our children more to know their own boundaries and keep themselves safe. As others have said, if a child had actually fallen in I'm sure all the adults would have noticed and been up in a flash to pull them out.

Perhaps they know their own children, know they are not accident prone, and go there all the time to the kids are used to playing safely around there?

i wouldnt have said anything either, unless they were smaller or taking more risks near the water. i also think the parents would know weather they think it is safe enough to take their kids there.
i too would pass judgement as i am completely paranoid about my dd around water, but these parents obviousley knew the kids were fine.

You never know if you are going to get told to mind your own business or just to ** off though - I think its stupid to let a bunch of very young children play near any water. I'd rather be neurotic and have a living breathing child - who can enjoy water very nicely - supervised - than to reward my child with lots of 'personal freedom' and find they fall in the water. Sound like the parents couldnt be bothered to watch their own kids
YANBU!

i had my head bitten of by a parent at the park today, her little toddler (about 18m) ran right in front of the swing my dd was on, i manages to catch her just in time. i was gentle about it and said carefull darling or something similar and the mum came marching over saying that she would have pulled her back if need be and anyway her dd was small enough to run right under the swing without being kicked.

my face looked something like and the words that come out were more **********.

I am all for letting your children have freedom but these parents are always the ones who bitch and harp the loudest when something does actually happen due to their negligence . Sorry to get on my soapbox but I would be eternally grateful if you stopped my kids being booted on the head. Or drowning. Here is my point. You do not know your child will NOT get kicked or fall in water. Would it not in the face of danger be wiser to err on the side of caution!! (sorry - I never get on my soapbox usually!)

I don't understand why people are asking you why you didn't do anything OP. That's not the point, surely? The question was should the parents be paying more attention, not should you have intervened.

Typical AIBU mauling.

Oh, and YANBU.

Sorry - I meant it that in the context of Kerryk being criticised for intervening- I wasnt mauling OP - I was stressing it is always better for child to be protected by their own parent, but that the parent should not have had a go at kerryk. (I think?) i did say op was not BU. I did !! I did!!!

Not you freckly - Ranting and Nab demanding to know what the OP was doing.

I have noticed in situations like this that people have wildly different views on what it is safe for children to be doing
tbh I wouldn't have any problem with a group of 6 year olds, with adults nearby, exploring some ponds
I think what you are asking is that they supervise their children more closely because it was making YOU nervous
which I'm afraid I think is unreasonable

Oh thats ok! FreddysTeddy!! got hold of wrong end of stick!!(shuffles off in a tired way - brain rather weary from work....)

I don't think you are BU. I am also very vigilant around water, have heard of too many tragedies occurring.

Oh FGS FreddyTeddy I didn't 'maul' the OP, I just think if you've got the time and the energy to be publicly criticising other people parenting technique then it doesn't hurt to show a bit of social awareness along with it. Honestly if the OP was that bothered by the safety of the children then, really she could have just said something.

I do think people generally feel they are allowed to be very judgemental about parents...