The Mumsnet Guide to Caring for Your Child's Teeth. How much fluoride should a child have? What will cause the most damage - chocolate or raisins? Is fruit juice ok? For the truth about what will and won't cause decay to top tips for reluctant brushers, fill in your gaps on dental hygiene here.
Mumsnet Discussions:
Am I being unreasonable?
: in being cross with dp for saying he was going out to a barbecue for a couple of hours last night and he is still not returned????
(50 messages)
Are you at all worried or is disappearing without leaving a message in character?
If it is in character then I would be totally livid and would very clearly lay down the law with him. To not call you shows a total lack of regard for your feelings and your relationship.
No he only said last night - so and so has a barbecue - is it ok if I go for a couple of hours? to which I said of course. I knew he would be late, but not all night with no message to say he is staying out. He is not answering his phone either. The party was on the river, so I worry that he could have fallen in or anything if he was that drunk!
I don't get the "he is a grown man" comment. What does that mean? In my opinion a grown man who has chosen to be in a relationship and have kids has absolutley no right to just disregard those responsibilities in the name of his own personal fun. If he wants 24 hours away with friends then fine, he should have it, after having planned it with his family.
can you contact anyone else at the barbeque? Not saying you should, yet, just to have that option there/. Chances are he's got drunk dropped his phone in the river
It's exactly because my DP is a big grown up I'd expect him to not act this way. A teenage son who hasn't yet learned - maybe, but not the father of my children.
he had to ask was it ok if he went? when i go out i get home when i get home same for him i dont have to answer to him and ask is it ok if i go out or stay out all night when he goes out i say cheerio have a good time and he comes home when he's ready i have never been one to automatically worry that he's fallen in the river or whatever maybe im odd
if you live with someone you should have the brains to realise they will be worried if you dont come in
its not about permission its about relationships and respect whoever it is mumdad partner brother friend etc any of them can worry if you say a couple opf hours and it ends up 12 hours
I'd be really really livid. I'm assuming you have children and by him not coming home he's deciding that his enjoyment is above yours, ie by him being out he prevents you having choice about what you can do and I think that requires permission, for want of a better word.
I have just informed him of his responsibilities - to which he replied that he is fully aware of them but needs his own time where he can do what he likes. Is this ok?
Yes, IMO, ikf agreed in advance. He in effect asked you to look after your DCs alone for a couple of hours yeterday - perfectly reasonable, and you agreed. He then just assumed you would do that until half an hour ago, which is not reasonable. Of course, things happen, I'm not suggesting you charge 'late fees' but he must realise he was talking the p a bit!
glad he's back ok, but what an arse. he has some apologising to do today!
if you have kids then you do need to ask the other partner if they mind you going out as it implies that the partner has to be home with the kids and not have any plans themselves!
he has taken away your 'own time' by being out longer than he said he would be though! its all well and good having your own time as long as you both get some and its agreed with the other partner to make sure it doesnt cross over on any of their plans!
Jazzi - dont let him treat you like this, why dont you sleep in the same bed? He is treating you like you mean nothing to him.
I think it is totally unacceptable behaviour. I dont go out very often, when i do, im home relatively early and i certainly dont come home crashing around drunk. For your DP to act like this is disgusting. The same as it would be if a woman with children did the same thing. Im not saying people can't go out and enjoy themselves, but when you are in a relationship, you have a responsibility to the other person too. Why the hell didnt he arrange a babysitter so you coudl go to the BBQ - sorry, but he is acting like a cock
I don't mind if DH stays out, in fact if he's had a few drinks I would rather he stay at a friends than come home and keep me awake with his snoring. But I would expect him to say that he might not be home, I would not be happy if he said he would be a couple of hours and then didn't get back until the following day. YANBU.
We don't really go anywhere together. We go out separately. He drinks mainly at home. The reason we don't sleep together is because we just don't like sharing our space.
Jazzi those issues need adressing, to be honest, your relationship sounds very disperate so it would almost follow that he doesnt feel the need to let you know he wont be home. You need to make a point of doing things together, if you cant you need to ask yourself why not.
