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We had a lovely party today for DD's birthday and she had about 12 school friends round and some of their mothers stayed and a few of my relations.
DH did a lot of planning getting the garden ready for today and we had a lovely time .
Did say we would just have soft drinks during the party and get out wine etc after the childen and mothers had gone home but DH opened the wine about 2pm and some of the parents had a glass or two.
When everyone left at 5pm DH and my relations carried on drinking and by the time they went at 8pm DH could hardly stand and fell asleep asleep on the sofa .
Feeling a bit miffed he ended the day that way and a bit embarrassed he was obviously pissed n front of my relations.
Am aia being a tad over sensitive and should be happy the party was a success and DH enjoyed himself?
If you're worried that he has a drink problem, that's a different matter but today was really, really hot which means that most people who had a drink or two would find it hit them a bit harder than usual due to dehydration. SO if he's generally a good bloke, leave it be.
He started drinking about 1pm and had a few glasses of wine throughout the afternoon but was ok when the parents were here.
My relatives were drinking but not as muxh as they had to drive home.
It just got a bit uncomfortable towards the end as he was staggering and was glas when they left before he got worse.
He does drink a fair bit and my relatives are aware of this but felt a bit sad that the day ended this way or am I just a boring fart as I don'r drink and it is normal to have a glass or two at a child's party.
Do most people host childrens parties and not offer alcohol?
I offer alcohol if I invite adults. I like a drink. But you know if you're getting so pissed that you can't stand up - hot days included. I just think it's not good to get that pissed in front of kids especially when it's your child's party.
I think it sounds like you're not happy about his general drinking behaviour.
And if that is the case, then no YANBU, if one party in a partnership considers it a problem, then it's a problem.
"He does drink a fair bit". What does that mean? More than the recommended maximum? Appropriately? "and my relatives are aware of this" What does that mean? That he's always embarrassing you by getting drunk in front of them?
Sorry if I'm over-analysing or reading between the lines to find something that's not there.
I think it sounds as if he may find kids parties quite an ordeal and used the wine too much too early to relieve the stress.. all a bit silly and certainly not a good idea but alcohol is used to ease social awkwardness. I'd talk gently to him about it and if he accepts it all got out of hand get a committment he won't drink during the day again (or at least in front of the kids and NEVER at a social event given for kids), If he can't see anything wrong with his behaviour, I'd push it and explain why it was so unacceptable etc...
We had one today as well, and it would have driven me to distraction if I'd not had a glass or two of wine. Not least the.... no, I think I'll start a new thread.
I can see the signs like he was starting to ask inapproiate questions and doing that funny drunk dance that people do and kept asking me to turn up the music.
He drinks most days after work and at celebrations he always seems to go overboard.
I was starting to worry he would fall over or say something he should'nt and was glad when the final family members went home.
DD had a fab day and it did'nt spoil her party bit i just feel a bit let down as he collapsed on the sofa and i would have liked to have sat with hin tonight and talked about the lovely day we had.
Instead he is snoring and mumbling on the sofa and I wanted today to be our daughters party and not a drinking session for the adults.
It sounds like a celebration, it's what millions of people do, open wine, drink more with guests and relatives and then think, oh shit, why did we drink, lets do it again next year. It wasn't like he was solely incharge of kids.
If he is an alcoholic i apologise, completely different matter/.
I agree pofaced he does find any social gathering an ordeal and he does lack confidence in talking to people so the drinking made him feel more at ease.
the plan was to get the alcohol out after the parents had gone but as it was such a lovely day and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves he offred the alcohol.
I am worring now that some of the mothers may think it was inapproriate to have alcohol at the party.
unquietdad-you may have a point there,although I don't drink I got through it.
DH's family gatherings always involve a glass or two of good wine and they see it as hospitable (sp) to offer.
He was brought up with parents who always held dinner /buisness parties and still do with wine flowing freely and G&T's at 6 where as my parents hardly drinked at all.
There lies the difference between our up bringings and maybe my hang ups on drinking.
Well moonlight, if he knows you don't like it and he was messy, it is more about his respect for you. He should know how you feel and getting drunk was completely innapropriate behaviour towards your feelings.
I think the fact Parents drank with him and relatives did, means they were just enjoying themselves and relaxing.
I would never ever have a glass of wine at a house i didn't feel comfortable in and want to stay in, you did a good job.
DH does know my thought on his drinking but as you say everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves and it was a lovely sunny afternoon all sat in the garden relaxed and talking.
DH did complement me more than once on what a good job I had done orgainising the food etc and the parents said they had had a good time.
We had 20 children and 16 adults so should be plesed the day went well and the children enjoyed themselves.
if the relations had been bothered they would have made excuses and left surely
he probably did start drinking too early in the day and because it was aparty there wasnt an obvious cut off point to stop and then he had had too much to realise he had enough
Oh moon, i don't know what you want me to say, it just sounds like a good party, if he got far too drunk and he does that all the time, then yes bad...... i am a bit lost on this thread.
I think coming from a huge family where we would all just drink ( i wouldn't if it was my house and i had 16 kids) but i would certainly let others.
But it was at that bit in the party, when all the 'guests' have gone home and it is just family left - which is exactly the point where getting pissed is permissible - surely?
I think there was high expectations on my part to get this right as was DD's first school party and wanted it to be a success,which it was.
DH was a good host throught the party and just got carried away the last cople of hours but as it was just relations left all be it my relations as his family live abroad was probably why I was more senstive to the whole thing.
hey though can I ask you if it is acceptable for a very good friend to message your husband on facebook and say that she dreamed of him and in that dream they were married?
I would! I always do that to my friends husband! I say ridiculous things to him. We are all good mates. I would feel awful if my mate ( his wife) thought i was up to something!
I don't think it is anything to be shocked by, my friend loves the fact i get on with her husband. They both know loads about me, in fact they both took me to hospital to give birth.
Well, I can see why you're annoyed if noone else can. I wouldn't want DH to get pissed in front of my relations either, and you did say yours were only drinking moderately.
There is a big difference between a group of adults getting pissed together and being the only person at a party getting pissed. The latter looks- quite frankly- sad. I don't mind my dh drinking now and then, but I would mind if he showed himself up as pathetic in this way.
Am also not over-impressed by "DH did complement me more than once on what a good job I had done orgainising the food etc", given that your dh presumably wasn't much help with the clearing up. Seems a funny division of labour, that. Your job is to organise everything and clear up afterwards, and his job is to say "very well done".
The hot weather excuse doesn't really hold water either. Surely everyone knows that you drink extra water in-between drinks on a hot day? I don't like clue-less men.
