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Dh thinks she's an amateur. Could ramble in to a very long thread but I wont...basically she's a bit knee-jerky. So for instance, if dd2 doesn't have a nap and is crying, fusspotting etc, childminder will send us a letter saying the contract may have to be terminated because dd2 is not settled. Then dd2 will be in a routine for next few days and childminder retracts the suggestion. 1. aibu? 2. dh thinks childminder is showing inexperience and not being professional 3. is she worried about dd2's routine or just her own. Any thoughts - I think I know what you'll say.....................{waits anxiously for quick responders}
I would be concerned about her ability to care for children, tbh. Children are unpredictable and individual. Childminders should understand this. If she wanted clones or drones to look after, she should apply for a job on Dr Who.
Must be missing something here - presumably your dd didn't sign a contract promising she'd always have a nap!! this woman sounds seriously weird and as if she knows nothing about children at all. Neither of mine kept to routines day in day out when young - can depend on so many factors - teething, earache etc, over-tiredness - plus if dd senses the childminder stressing about it she's bound to be unsettled. I think i'd be looking for someone who knows what they're doing if I were you....
It sounds as if the childminder can't cope unless your dd has a nap, and doesn't winge.
How confident are you in her ability to care for your dd? Have you spoken to parents of other children she cares for about how she deals with their children?
is it unreasonable for me to expect an experienced childminder to have strategies for getting my daughter to sleep like go for a walk or even a drive in extreme circumstances. two other children are ther too but both could go for a walk as they are 4 and 5. dh is saying all this to me, I'm playing devils advocate .."but what if it's raining" etc. Should I just withdraw dd2?
this sounds bizarre and i dont think shes registered s a childminder if i were you id be looking for alternative care most if not all childminders provide smooth easy flow for the child to go from home to minders.
My dd1 used to sleep beautifully for naps at home, but the nursery were lucky to get her down for 40 minutes. I think it is well understood (amongst most cms and nursery staff anyway) that children are unpredictable and there is no way that they will always settle into a good routine.
Some children afaik don't sleep at all when away from home in a daycare/cm setting.
What will happen in a few weeks/months time. There will be even more issues presumably. I would worry now, but more so for the future. How competent will the cm be for potty training, disciplining etc etc if she can't cope with a child who is a little overtired?
armadillo = dd2 is a bit hit and miss with sleeping there - perhaps only 50% of the days she actually has a morning nap. At home she nearly always has two a day.
Windygalestoday (our names are almost opposites!) she is trying to provide some help like offering to have dd2 every day to get her settled or having her mornings only or afternoons only. to be fair, childminder is a nice lady and clearly loves kids ----but maybe just not my daughter (who most people think is an easy going laid back sort of gal)
I knew I'd get these responses and I tried to give a fair thread without it being too subjective. Obviously shes concerned that my daughter is upset. DH just gets the impression (sorry good childminders) that she wants to be at home doing her thing and the little ones should let her and not get in the way.
Is it really was extreme as this? One bad day=ditch child? If so, I'm amazed she has any kids still with her Pretty hopeless & unprofessional I'd say.
I DO think it's reasonable to expect your childminder to go out in car/buggy to get your lo to sleep with two other young children in the house necessarily - but I would expect her to have some strategies, & an appreciation that kids don't work to any rule book.
How long has your daughter been there/how old is she? Took my dd AGES to settle at the cm - but luckily my cm was supportive & kept battling to get her settled. Dd is now absolutely part of their family.
She's been going all year and she's 13 months old now. Funnypeculiar, did your relationship sour with cm during the settling time? I cant weigh mine up - cant get in my head whether its my daughter being upset that she's worried about or that my daughter being upset is causing her and the other mindees problems. If its the latter, I feel like killing her - see sour relations.
I did start getting concerned that the cm would see my dd as 'a problem' and that she was maybe 'giving in' too quickly (I am SE & work from home, so it was easy for her to ring me & I would also come & pick dd up)
I said overtly that if she (cm) had had enough, I would take dd elsewhere, but cm was determined to carry on!
Well not one person has come back and said I am being unreasonable. Have to make a big decision now about what to do next. Thanks for all your comments - any more are very welcome.
That is completely out of order if it is just the odd day she cries/ if she has been there less than 2mths. It can take a while for children to settle in. If however, dd has been with her for several months, is totally unhappy most days and unsettled, I would look elsewhere, her routines and yours do not match if your child is constantly tired. How old is your dd?
she's 13 months. i would say its about half the time that she doesn't have a morning nap, but on many of those days the childminder will be really defeatest..."i don't think its working", "I don't think she's settling". May be I am being a bit harsh - after all she does have dd2's interests at heart - cm hates the fact that she cries and gets grumpy if she's not napped (dd2 not cm!!).
Sorry I have just gone back and read more of the thread. At 13mths and having been there for a year I would expect your dd to have settled. Children at her age don't usually have 2 naps per day (my dd is the only one I know that had 2 until 16mths.)Your CM should realise this. The trouble being that although they drop the morning nap they also can't cope without sleep until the afternoon nap time and get irritable. What she needs to do is realise how long it is until your dd gets tired and give lunch/nap in the PM earlier iyswim. (I CM btw)
Unprofessional btw, she should be sitting down with you to discuss a resolution, not threatening to terminate the contract (back to Dr Who! I will exterminate.....).
if she has 2 naps at home thought it's clear that she needs 2 naps. does the cm put her down at the same times as you do in the same way. ie if you put her in pushchair at home does she try and put her in a cot and that might be why shes not settling?
