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Hey, hope to be an expat soon. Emigrating to Canada, fingers crossed, next summer. Just waiting for some embassy stuff to go through. Got an 8 Month old son who with any luck will not have a horrible London accent..
Hi! I'm an American postgraduate student (I call the San Francisco Bay Area home) who has just arrived in London to study child development at the Anna Freud Centre. I'm ISO a family with a newborn (under 1 month now) or due to be born in November who would allow me to observe their infant at home for 1 hour a week until June (minus school holidays) to learn about normal infant development. Are there any American or other expat families who may be willing to volunteer? I would be so appreciative! Please contact me at kkogut8@yahoo.com or call 077 8794 4583.
And I'm writing on a dead thread. But I wanted to see how it was getting on. Haven't been on here much I have to admit.
Congrats to all those who have had their babies! I had a baby girl on 24th June named Marlowe. We just "americanised" her yesterday, which got me thinking about this thread.
Will anyone ever post here again?
I'll keep checking. I want to know how everyone is getting on with family so far away and being in a new country.
Hi all - is this still an active thread? I'm from the UK, living in Sweden and my husband is Greek! All a bit confusing - the poor kid will have to deal with all these languages!!
We've still not decided about passport etc. Probably will go with British and Greek.
alexpolismum - congrats! I think this thread might be dead, but on the off chance you're still checking it I wanted to say that 5x faster is impressive!
Hi, I had my second son (Fraser) on the 7th of June. I ended up forgetting about this thread in all the fuss and have just been posting on my June thread.
Fraser's doing really well and the birth was much easier than for DS1. We've still got family here for another week and a bit (had MIL for 3 weeks and now my parents) and then I'm a bit nervous about being on our own - two kids is a lot more work than one...
Ponymum - I know what you mean about skype - it's my lifeline to the uk!!
I have to say one advantage of living far from family is that you don't get all their comments on your parenting style constantly. My sister does ring me up regularly with "advice" but has no idea of whether I apply it or not.
eandz - Full marks to your dh for persistence! I'm most impressed!
Well, I should be announcing a birth soon (I've just had a show and contractions are coming on...!)
Bump. Anyone still here? Really useful topic, which I have just discovered.
Like FenLondon and PregnantPenguin I am a kiwi, been living here about 5 years, first baby due Sep 08. Penguin, have you popped yet?
I have weekly phone calls with my sister in NZ that go on for hours (thanks Skype!) and these are a great help.
Would be interested to hear others' views on advantages and disadvantages of family being far away...
Eandz, I met you on the due Sep 08 thread. Really sorry to hear about the horrible treatment of your previous miscarriage - I had no idea . Sending hugs and best wishes.
ooh, i never posted about how i ended up in the uk.
here goes:
it was my freshman year in college (university) and i decided to skip out a week to go to Chicago with some friends. One of my friends was determined to find and date a guy who had gone to our school the year before but had moved out there...anyway we never found the guy and but did end up running into a bunch of British guys who were on their gap year at Starbucks every morning...since we'd seen them every day for a few days we would just go over and sit with them hoping they'd talk to us. Well, instead of talking to me, one of them (my dh) dropped his frappacino all over me. I was humiliated! but he gave me his coat while he got me things to clean up with and then took me shopping for a new shirt (with my friends)... at the end of that day he asked for my phone number and email address and actually kept in touch.
a year later (2nd year of uni/college) he asked the day after valentines day if i'd marry him...we had only met ONCE! so i told him i couldn't make a decision like that unless i got to know him, so he did a study abroad at another university in my city and that summer asked my dad for my hand in marriage the old fashioned way...my dad of course kicked him out of the house and the poor boy slept in our garden (while my dad kept turning on the sprinklers). My stepmother eventually talked my dad into not calling the police and invited him in to talk.
my dad still said no, but also said it was my decision in the end...and 2 yrs later i said yes and had my dads blessing...unfortunately for me, i couldn't find a job so i had to move to london after the wedding because that's where my husband was working. I ended up doing another degree and am now pregnant with his son.
ladyhump - don't worry about your waters breaking in odd places. When mine broke with my first pregnancy, it started to just trickle out at first, it doesn't just come in a gush. No one will notice.
Good luck Aberdeen! The only reason I'm working until week 39 is because I'm a teacher and half term is next week, so I have a week off for half term, then I go back for a week and then done. I just hope my water doesn't break on the tube!
Alexpolismum- Good luck to you too. We're all pretty close!
6 weeks to go now and the baby has turned round. Much earlier than my first pregnancy, where the baby didn't turn until 40 weeks (and didn't come out for another 10 days after that)
I sympathise with you girls about the peeing - I'm like that too. In fact, I get hardly any sleep now, because if the baby on the inside isn't waking me up, my 1-year-old son is waking me up, and if they're not, they I have to pee... So a decent night's sleep is fast becoming a distant memory.
All the best to aberdeenhiker - nearly there now! Incidentally, it might sound wierd, but if you go to pee and find you can't, then try rocking back and forth on the loo. It will trickle out bit by bit.
ladyhump - I finish work wednesday when I'm 38 weeks and I thought I was working right until the end! I'm up peeing all the time too, although the worst is getting up and then not being able to because the LO's head is in the way...
Hi ladies. Thanks for the info upsidedowncake. I need to get on to my healthcare visitor. I got a letter and then put it aside somewhere, so I should really call her.
I've only got about 4 more weeks left (I'm at 36 weeks!). At work for another 3 (I'm cutting it close!!!). Eandz- we need to meet for that drink. I'm still feeling good but have to pee ALL the time. I wake up 4 times a night and it's not the easiest thing to get back to sleep anymore. Other than that, still pretty comfortable.
Wow, Upsidedowncake, I love the idea of going to get married on a double decker bus! I'm afraid I went to mine on foot.
Can I just have a proud Mum moment and announce that my son has said his first words in both languages now! Yesterday he said 'ela baba', which is Greek for 'come Daddy' and this morning he pointed at his cup and said "gink, mummy!"
Expecting no2 in less than 7 weeks now, I hope the baby turns round soon!
Oh and re health visitors, they provide basic health advice, some of which is suspect and some of which is useful. They also weigh your babies (every week if you want) so you can be reassured that he or she is growing properly.
I would also second what Aberdeen says about being proactive if you need help. All the healthcare is available, but you just have to ask for it. And in most GP's surgeries, babies get priority treatment. You can also ask your GP for referral to a paediatrician or specialist healthcare professional if something could be wrong. For example, in his first year. DS was seen by both an NHS paediatric urologist (undescended testicles) and a paediatric opthalmologist.
My DH is American and I'm British. He was over here in 2002 doing an MBA after his divorce. We met at a dinner party to which we'd both been brought by friends. I thought he was the nicest man I'd ever met, but he had trouble written all over him. Why (at the ripe old age of 31) would a Brit get involved with an American only here for a year, who was divorced two months ago, and who was doing an MBA in a different city?
So we became friends ... And six months later, we started going out. And then he had to go back to the States in July 2003 when his student visa ran out. After a year of passionate trans-Atlantic encounters, just like PrePG, we were on the phone, I was saying that it was just too damned hard, and DH suggested we tied the knot!
So we got married two months later at Chelsea Registry Office on July 4th. A big red open-topped London bus took us to the reception, and it was wonderful.
Re miscarriages, Eandz, I am appalled at the treatment that you suffered. Did you know that Mumsnet is working with the Secretary of State for Health to redevelop the policy on miscarriage in England? Not putting people in broom closets would, I imagine, be one of their recommendations! Glad all is OK for you now.
PrePG, loads of luck for pregnancy testing and so on.
mcchesers- Wow. What a story. Sorry to hear about the fire though. Poor cat
Prepg- Good on you to keep the thread going! I think I would tell my parents, especially if you're close to them. It sounds like they can keep a secret too (unlike my dad!) If I had been in the states, or my parents were over here, I would have rather told them in person than over the phone.
I've finished my 'how not to kill my baby' classes! I just decided in the end to do the NHS ones and spend the £200 that I would have spent on NCT classes on things that I want . A girl in my class who did both said that the NCT classes were very similar to the NHS ones and she actually preferred the NHS ones. Just something to think about for other people who were unsure which classes to go to.
Morning all. My god we've been through the wringer! Sometimes I wonder how I ended up here...it all seems like yesterday but it's been 5 long years. My husband is Scottish. We met as friends through a yahoo board for a local Austin band. We started chatting and ended up having quite a bit in common. He's wickedly funny. So when my company laid off it's consultants..I had a big fat redundancy cheque and several thousand airline miles, so I came over to visit. Needless to say, we got on very well and agreed that the next year would be crap, but we would give the long distance thing a go. After a year of back and forth, I came to live in Glasgow and began the search for work/sponsorship. This was Jan '03. In Feb '03..my brother phoned to tell me not to bother getting the return flight to collect my things/cat because my mom's house (where I was living and had all my stuff/cat) had burned down. Soo..very soon after my DH proposed and we were married in April. In all the excitement we hadn't noticed that we'd married on the day that the laws had changed about marrying on a visitor's visa and we had to actually fly to Chicago to get my spousal visa! We waiting for a long time to try for a baby and had one blighted ovum this last summer. I'm now 30 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. Exciting stuff, eh?
Depends on your relationship with your parents. When I had my first DS we were high risk for miscarriage and I was having a lot of problems and my DH was offshore so it was great to be able to phone my dad and have a good cry and get his support. We were visiting Toronto when we found out we were expecting again and told them right away.
here's a question for you all - We told my parents we were expecting at around 6 weeks. I called to tell them, I just couldn't hold it in anymore. But we waited until till we were visiting New York to tlel the rest of my family - it was around 10 weeks. Sadly miscarried the week after. Now I'm likely to be due to test the week my parents are visiting this month!!! Do I test while they're here? More importantly do we tell them when they're here? It would be nice to, but it would be soooo early!
I love all these stories. They're all quite similar in a weird way. We all must have a sense of adventure!
Aberdeenhiker Thanks for the info on the doctors. That's easy on us, but it's good to know that you might have to put up a bit of a fight to get what you need. That's interesting!
We're totally different than the rest of you - I've dual citizenship and grew up in Canada and met my DH when we were both living in Vancouver. We decided to move here when I finished my PhD as an adventure and DH got a great job so we've ended up staying...
hugs to PrePG and eandz - you both deserve them! I think for me the NHS hasn't been as much of a shock - the health care service in Canada is similar to here and you don't even see an obstetrician there until you're well into your second trimester. Actually, I think the care here with midwives is more personal than in Canada and we've been really lucky - but then we're in Scotland and I know things can be very different when you cross the border. We had a threatened miscarriage with my DS and the early pregnancy unit at the hospital here in Aberdeen was wonderfully caring. We had a private room while we were waiting to find out if the baby was okay and they took you through to get scanned during a break from the regular scans so I didn't see any happy pregnant ladies. I feel so lucky that mine was just a scare!
Babies here don't see a pediatrician, just a regular GP and a health visitor (community nurse) unless there's something wrong. I've found you have to be proactive to get a referral to a specialist too (for us we needed to see a pediatric dietician at Children's Hospital for my son's milk allergy). However, if you're on top of things, the medical care seems fine.
Here's my story: I was between jobs (I had three months to kill before starting my new contract, and my previous job had just finished), and when I was looking on the net at something quite different I happened to see an advert for jobs teaching English in Greece and there was one that was just for 3 months. So, I thought, why not. I'll do that for 3 months and then come back to the real world. Two days after arriving in Greece (in quite a remote town), I met my dh in a bar. We hit it off immediately, and he swept me off my feet in romantic Mediterranean style with bouquets of flowers, romantic dinners, etc. I never went back after the three months were up and here I am still nearly 10 years later.
Great story Ladyhump Mine's a bit weird but here goes:
I met mine at my best friend's bachelorette party It was July 4th weekend and we were at a dirty dirty bar in the Hamptons (half inside, half outside, only served Bud or Bud Light and only open from 12-8pm on Sundays in the summer because it just gets too rowdy otherwise. That said, my brother works for a Budweiser distributer and it's their largest account ). Anyway, he asked the bride to point out her single friends and I was the 'lucky girl' We kept calling him the "Australian guy" the whole time! We realized we both lived in Manhattan and started dating. We were together for 2 1/2 years before he was laid off and had to move back to the UK in late 2002. He wasn't ready to get married, so agreed to date long distance. It was April when I called him one night crying and said I just can't do this anymore!!! to which he replied 'We could just get married' Um, hello? Is this the same guy? Anyway, it was September before we managed to get it together to get engaged and February 04 when we got married. He flew over to New York on a Tuesday, we got married on the Saturday and then I flew back with him the following Wednesday. I just did my citizenship and our next convoluted plan involves getting me pregnant (again!) and staying pregnant! I'll take my super-long UK maternity leave and then we'll move back to New York so that he can get his citizenship and we can live wherever we want whenever we want!
Me? I met my DH when he came over for a study abroad program to my university. We worked at the same bar together (he was my bouncer, even though he's tiny ).
We were friends for a year (and it turns out we both had the biggest crushes on each other that whole time - talk about slow movers, hey?). We also both had another gf/bf. Then right before he was supposed to move back to England, we decided to have a go at a relationship. We were both single at this time. Things were perfect and but he had to return to England and we spent a year apart while we both finished our degrees. We both knew we wanted to be together. Then we moved to Germany together and then came back to England. I returned to California to finish my MA and then the day after I finished, I moved out here, and have been living in London ever since. Oh, we got married while I was doing the MA (a quick elopement in Vegas!) I moved to England as it was easier for me to get the visa as well as for my job, it was easier for me to come here rather than him come to California. So, now I'm here for the long run.
How did everyone else end up living far from home/meeting their partners?
nope...so far I've seen people bringing babies to the normal nhs practice...but who knows if the appointments are for them or the babies? (i live across the street from one so always running into people asking for directions to the surgery.) i will call and ask tomorrow since it's something I need to know as well.
anyone else having crazy cravings? i need taco bell food and the only taco bells in england are at the raf air force bases....i must find american military people in this country to do their fellow country woman the biggest favor in the world. ahhhh.
Eandz- I can't believe what you've been through. A broom closet?
I've been pretty lucky with the NHS, so I can't complain. Have a good doctor and the practice is brand new, so not very crowded. I think if I had your experiences though, I would have gone back to the states too.
I agree with the 11-13 weeks thing. When I talk to my sister about how I went to the doctor to tell them I was pregnant and they didn't do anything like take a blood test or even listen to my heart or take my blood pressure (and I have a funky heartbeat!), my sister was shocked! She had her hcg levels monitored and was given a scan at 6 weeks to check the baby (of course this was after her miscarriage). Still though, she just had to ask and they would do anything. This was at another NHS practice however, so I'm much happier at the new one.
So, I'm just wondering if we have to get a pediatrician for our babies, or do they just go to the same NHS as we go to? Do I check to see if there is a pediatrician there, or will the baby just see my same doctor? Anybody know the answer?
They took bloods at my very last scare, but that was probably because I was screaming about how in America there are protocols and procedures to follow during emergencies, and that people who were bleeding weren't stuck in broom closets with kitchen rolls. I think I demanded blood tests...I didn't know which one I just know that no matter what the emergency unless its physical trauma blood should always be checked.
As far as I know, nhs care providers are not the people to ask for answers.
When I called in for the results, no one knew what I was talking about. I called the hospital, the gp and even had my husband call...no idea why they took all that blood from me if they weren't going to use it for the testing.
eandz My god, what you've been through! I'm so sorry! No wonder you're considering giving birth in the STates (read your other thread on pregnancy).
I'm really trying to be upbeat about the NHS - in fact the doctors at the hospital have been very kind and I was surprised by the fact that I had had two sonograms (one because I told the nurse at my GP I was feeling crampy and she sent me for a scan right away to rule out an ectopic, after which the EPU had me come back in two weeks for a follow-up) before my scheduled midwives appointment.
But I also post on a US pregnancy board and when I ask certain miscarriage related questions I get - didn't your doctor monitor your HCG levels and your progesterone? Um, well, no - no one ever even took any blood! I just feel like there is a complete lack of any concern until you get to 11-13 weeks, which seems kind of daft considering that's the time when most stuff goes wrog - although I guess the reasoning is that what is likely to go wrong in the first trimester can't be helped for the most part. I understand that most losses are chromosomal, but many are not and I would just feel better if I was armed with some knowledge that's specific to my situation.
Miscarriage is soo friggin traumatic! I should know, I'm the queen of miscarrying. I've been on 3 different types of birth control in the past year and a half and have gotten pregnant each time. The first time I reached my 4th month before my doctor accepted my plea for a pregnancy test (my gp refused to take my home pregnancy tests seriously and said I was just getting fatter...the birth control I was on stops your period for 3 months at a time)so I had to wait till my 5th month for her to get it through her head...the second time another gp told me it would be impossobile for me to get pregnant because she said there was something wrong with my cervix and I later miscarried that same week (only about 8 weeks pregnant) at some oxbridge boat race thing. I was a little bit embarassed since i was in a white dress, hadn't lost my figure yet and it looked like I'd perioded all over myself. It was sooo icky...so this time when I figured out I was pregnant I found a private ob who would do anything I asked for a price. And thank god for that, because I gave the nhs one last try when I found out I was pregnant yet again on birthcontrol they suggested (each nhs gp was a different one since they all sucked worse than the next.)
this time around-- i went to the nhs gp told them i had taken 3 home pg tests and she didn't care to doubt me. Sent me in for a uterine scan to make sure I wasnt crazy because a previous doctors report said I was confident in my fake pregnancy or something mean like that...but a week later while going over blood tests I started bleeding everywhere in the gp's office and she stuck me in a broom closet with kitchen roll and told me I was miscarrying again. So I cried because I don't like broom closets when bleeding all over the floor, that had no lighting and stuck in the dark...and seriously the blood was everywhere, i got it on my new iphone and my pretty purse it looked like I'd slaughtered a pig on my crotch and then two men came with a wheelchair and silently took me to an ambulance to have another scan (i was totally in the dark till they came and I didn't even know they were coming)...went to st marys and stuck in a room with someone elses blood on the wall--all the while i was just being handed towels and kitchen roll to stop my bleeding. was handed a 'sorry you've miscarried' booklet and made that all bloody reading it for something to keep my mind off of whats going on. was sent in for a scan 3 hours later and my baby was fine. moving around. They determined that I was bleeding internally (no, really?) but the pregnancy was fine so they didnt feel obligated to 1. stop the bleed and 2. find out WHY I WAS BLEEDING!!! at this point they handed me a maxi pad and told me to go home. While I was at the hospital I was asking for information regarding a private care and everyone from the 2 doctors that came in to tell me about miscarriage to the doctor who checked me out during my scan-- all three of them freaked out about my mentioning private care-- 'why would you want that?' 'it's the same thing'...and then they each indicated without trying to sound condesencing (but were incredibly patronizing) that we didn't look like we could afford it. (we're both 24 and for some reason come off as 18 yr old.) I look older now that i've gotten bigger than our houe. but yeah-- I know what your going through...it's frustrating and awful and I wish you'd never gone through it. the pain, the loss and the feelings of inadequacy are never matched after a miscarriage. hugs...would you like some cookie dough? Food makes everything better for me.
Eandz- I don't know any pregnant people here, I just see all of them wandering around the park near Swiss Cottage Tube. And with the epidural, my antenatal class was so funny as the midwife was really hesitant to talk about them, and then she finally had to, and was telling us all of the worse-case scenarios to scare us away from them!! ha Oh, not to mention that she also hid all 'scary' pictures from us with her hand as she was showing us cartoon drawings of labor. What's up with that?? I want to know exactly what I'm getting into. Eh- I always have youtube (bring that up to your midwife- they go white as a sheet as they know you'll actually see the truth!
Prepg- I'm sorry you've had to go through this. I haven't been through a miscarriage myself, but my sister went through one last year and it tore her apart. she kept questioning herself too and was worried about getting pregnant again, but she did. As in most cases with miscarriage, it shows that you can get pregnant, there was just another unpreventable something that caused you to lose your little one. I know that what helped her through the next pregnancy was having a heart monitor, so she could listen to the baby's heart at any time. It was little help in the first tri, but a huge relief in the 2nd and 3rd. And you're not crashing this forum, you're the one who started it!
I'm getting super frustrated and it's almost along the lines of the epidural debate. I miscarried about a month ago and we're about to start TTC again - I'm just petrified this is going to happen again and although I know there are no answers, I want to know if what happened is preventable, but it seems so hard to even find someone here that will even know what I'm talking about, let alone do a blood test! I guess I just don't know where to look. The GP has been less than helpful throughout this whole process, I just wish I was able to see my GYN in the states
Anyway, my MIL is very quiet as well, so I find myself chattering so that there's no uncomfortable silence and that's always when I tend to say something incredibly stupid! And in her house you're not allowed to have the TV on, ever! SHe doesn't like it on when she has guests... so we've spent entire long weekends at her house without so much as the news on. We didn't even know about the tsunami a few years ago until we met up with people who told us! I mean, not vegg-ing out in front of the TV for a whole three days is one thing, but a little engagement with the outside world would be nice...
Referring back to the bedroom - another idea would be to leave a book on kinky sex in prominent position on the bedside table, perhaps with a set of handcuffs nearby. They can hardly ask you about it, and it might put them off further inspections!
erm, no, nobody keeps checks on my manners (theirs can be pretty awful!) and my house is always a mess, so they wouldn't have to inspect the bedroom - it's right there in the living room! Do they really inspect your bedroom? I'd be tempted to leave some smelly knickers out deliberately!
No, I'm not in London, I live in Alexandroupolis in Greece (hence the name).
Re natural births - people keep telling me that women used to be out in the fields giving birth. I just smile and say "yes, and lots of them died, it's a good thing we have hospitals today!"
Lady Hump-- I'm RIGHT on Finchley road (the top though, where st johns wood station is)... we should have non-caffeinated beverages one day. Although I'm in awe that you've already made friends with pregnant people...Lucky!
But seriously I get looks from medical professionals (nhs) and other mothers when I say I'd like an epidural...I was actually told off for not wanting to do it the natural way.I swear I think this doctor at St. Marys hissed at me.
Then when I point out that I'd rather NOT feel my vagina tear to shreds they all congregate at the other side of the room. It's more awkward than talking to people who want to convert you to some other religion.
Alexpolis- But I'm sure no one keeps a score of your manners during eating times? or silently scrutinizes your appearance ...while taking discreet 'bathroom breaks' to inspect the cleanliness of your bedroom? Actually mine are too afraid of speaking about politics because they seem to think every room is bugged.
actually they both sound like dinner events we can forgo once in a while for the sake of our sanity.
Eandz- My DH's family isn't quiet either! I never stop laughing. Of course, they are a family of non-professional actors, so that probably helps.
I work in Swiss Cottage which is right near you. there are always loads of yuppy families around with their children. Funny thing is, I always hear American accents.
Alex- I hear you on the epidural. What is wrong with it, and why do I get treated like a bad person? Luckily in my antenatal classes, there's another couple in there who are determined to get an epi too, so we're on the same team.
perhaps I should offer you my inlaws for dinnertimes - their table is set up with all the chairs facing the TV and they just switch it on at the beginning, no matter who is there, guests, whatever, flick through the channels until they get the news, and then complain about the state of the world for the entire meal. You can speak, but you mustn't disagree with their view that things are getting progressively worse, we're all going to die in a forthcoming nuclear war or something similar, etc etc. The funny thing is, they're so cheerful about these depressing pronouncements!
Alexpolismum- I come from a talkative bunch--and the awkward things that spread themselves over our dinner table at home are no match for the silent tension filled encounters with my inlaws. My inlaws prefer I keep my mouth shut. So when would you like to swap?
I don't get it - what's wrong with an epidural? Why suffer if you don't have to?
Eandz - you're in the wrong British family! Dinners in my family are NEVER silent, usually it's hard to get a word in edgewise! Perhaps we should swap on occasion, it would be nice to get some peace now and then!
I'm pregnant with my first and due on September 20th. I'm American (originally from Maryland and then Texas), my husband is British and our DS will be both.
Currently residing in St.Johns Woods--although we used to make fun of it--as a place where yuppies went to breed..fate is having a good laugh.
Re Baby showers: my girlfriends from school (I'm finishing up my last masters) are throwing me one...but since most of them will be leaving to go back to the states after they finish..I'm in the market for some pregnant friends.
I booked with the NCT but my classes don't start for a while and I need some sort of pregnancy support system. I can totally relate to not having family close by,missing the states and being married to a British guy with quiet family (Family dinners are often silent).
Yeah every time I talk to anyone who favors the nhs and I reveal that not only do I plan on staying on private care but I want an epidural...I'm black listed... Very quickly, even when I'm not offering to trade my child for hard to find American fast food.
Hi Ladyhump - St Georges for me. Whilst you're by the Houses of Parliment (that you won't be able to see...) I'll be living the high life via the glamour of Tooting!
No real grumbles though - it's literally a ten min drive away from where I live (S Wimbledon) - so nice and close for when I start panicking....
Can't believe you are treated like a 2nd class citizen because you want an epi!
PreggiePenguin- where are you delivering at? I'll be at St. Thomas.
If anyone's been there, we just did the hospital tour, and it was hilarious in the fact that they really segregate the people who want an 'all-natural' birth as opposed to an epidural (which I do!). The ones who opt for an epi are almost punished!! Woman who don't want an epi get a big private room for the whole time they are in hospital overlooking Big Ben, Parliament. Their partners get to stay the night too. Women who get the epidural stay in rooms on the side of the hospital (no beautiful views) and after birth, get shuttled down to the postnatal ward where they share a room w/ 3 other women and partners can't stay. I think it's hilarious how unfair it is! Too bad I'll get the crappy half though.
FenLondon - That's really useful info, thank you! Actually the thought of a family is making us consider whether we want to be UK or NZ based, so maybe the grandchildren will be born in NZ anyway... Not planning to emigrate now, thinking 5 years hence.
Pacifier seems more approriate to me!
Hello Upsidedown! Think you've heard me moaning about a particular NHS hospital on our June thread, so I understand your DH. To be fair, some of the hospitals in the UK are older than the US!
Ladyhump - I'm due the day before you - just down the Northern line a bit (South Wimbledon).
Prepg- thanks for the website info. Should give me loads of information.
bathrobe- dressing gown in the UK. I always get a kick out of that one because a dressing gown seems so girly, especially when a guy says I got a new dressing gown. hahaha
PrePG, hope you're doing OK. Where would I get one of those onesies from? Our family would LOVE it.
DS (28 months) is very mid-Atlantic. He has been telling DH off for saying 'tomeito' instead of 'tomahto'. Mind you, I got corrected when I said 'rubbish lorry' instead of 'garbage truck' the other day too.
also if you are not co-sleeping, many people here use a Moses basket instead of a basinette or cradle. it looks pretty much the same, except it's, well, a basket, that rests on stand - but you can take it off the stand by its handles and carry the baby into another room if you'd like.
it has a wee mattress that you can get in places like Mothercare and even sheets cut to fit it.
*thanks, Orm! they're on the ball in this trust, got a booking appointment for next week and apparently i get a nuchal scan because i'm auld. old hand that i am, i have already written 'I want an epidural this time' all over my notes .
upsidedowncake I was also wondering about making an appointment before the baby was even born. I wish I had an answer for you. But you may want to check out uk-yankee.com - really helpful site for all things US-UK expat related.
ladyhump I'm in Herne Hill, we're super close!
Alex some other US - UK baby word differences:
Nappy - diaper buggy - stroller pram - carriage (although stroller is sometimes used in the UK and pram is being used a lot more in the US these days) dummy - pacifier cot - crib crib - cradle/bassinette nursery - daycare scan - sonogram antenatal - prenatal mum - mom
I came across an adorable onesie that had half a British and half a US flag on it and said Mom says - diaper, butt, crib, etc and then Dad says - nappy, bum, cot...
Hi Upsidedowncake. I'm due right around you (around the 13th June) and live in Oval. Where are you going for the birth? I didn't even think of private as love that the NHS is free and the hospital I'm delivering at (St. Thomas') is supposed to be really good. I like it anyway!
Hmmmm. Good thing to know about passports as would have procrastinated getting the American one I'm sure. I'm not sure if you can make an apointment with edd, but you can always call and ask. Is that how you do it then? You have to make an appointment to go into the American embassy? Not looking forward to that queue.
The US website says that if you qualify for a US passport, you must have it when you go to the States.
I don't have any problem with the NHS (most of my work is for them fgs!), but a lot of Americans do, and DH was pretty appalled at the state of some of the buildings. Agree that the medical care should be the same!
upsidedowncake - why does your LO need a USA passport to go for a visit? I bring my DS into Canada on his UK passport all the time. Actually my Canadian passport has expired so last time we both went through as Brits (felt a bit funny though!). Can you just fasttrack a UK passport for your LO?
Americans we know have liked the NHS system up here in Aberdeen and have had no complaints so you'll probably be fine. Sure it's not as luxurious, but the medical care side shouldn't be that different. As a Canadian, I'd never think of going private anyways (am far too cheap )
Great thread. I'm expecting a dual citizen but am British. Can I join? DH is American (from Chicago), so we've been through all the passport malarkey.
Our new baby is due June 22nd (ladyhump, we're in Wandsworth, where are you?). We were thinking of taking a holiday to the States in September but are worried about being able to get a passport in time. (Last time, it took six weeks to get an appointment and then another two weeks for the passport to arrive.) Does anyone know if you're allowed to book an appointment in advance with the EDD rather than the real birthdate?
I know people who have put Baby XXXX for international travel but I would phone the airline.
A note on passports though - when you travel to the USA, your LO needs their USA passport. What I foolishly didn't realise is that when you travel back to the UK, they need their UK passport as well. DS was nearly not allowed in last time. We had to wait in a room for two hours until they found a record of his UK passport on their database!
DH is learning good British English and even his parents (no USA-based grandchildren) now talk about nappies and prams (even when they're in the States!) However, we used to talk about binkies and would 'bink' DS when he was small and needed it!
My MIL's friends threw her a baby shower last time - and she brought all the gifts over when she came.
Good luck to those of you having a baby away from home. Where are you having the babies? Despite DH's shock, we are using the NHS as can't really afford anything else, but I know lots of ex-pat Americans who hang the cost and go private.
On the other hand, am glad to be having maternity leave here and not in the States. Lots of US moms we know only get about three months off.
This is a very interesting thread. I am Irish but was living in the USA for 2 and a half years. I have two irish born sons and my third was born in the US, Sept 11 2006. Lucky boy has both European (irish) and US passports. We had to get a visa for him to live in the UK when we first moved here last june because he was still travelling on his US passport.
LongWayFromHome - We booked our flights home for christmas (chicago-dublin) b4 birth but could not put baby on. No problems adding baby to reservation afterwards.
Good luck to all of you having babies away from home. My favourite experience of having a baby in the US was that all my friends set up a rota and brought meals for my family for three weeks!!! Fantastic
Hello! I am not pregnant any more, as just given birth to a gorgeous British-Hungarian son, but I thought this thread is great. Hope you'll be able to support each other. Good luck to you all.
I'm curious - what do you call a babygro in America then? The only baby-related word I knew was different in the US was nappy, which (I think, at least, correct me if I'm wrong) becomes diaper. I've been so busy learning all this vocab in Greek that I haven't really thought about English alternatives before!
For us who speak American and not English, or any other language, are there any words that you thought was funny when you first heard it? It took me forever to figure out what a babygro was, and everyone kept telling me they were so important! And I didn't know what a stroller was called. Is it a pram, pushchair, or buggy? I'm starting to get it now though!
We've bought a ticket to go to France in August after the baby, and it was the same as Alexpolismum. We just had to tick '1 infant' and didn't need sex or name.
I bought a domestic flight ticket before baby's birth. I didn't need a name or the sex. I got it online, and all I had to do was tick '1 infant'. Don't know for international flights, though. To make sure, you could email airline company.
I'm British in Argentina, expecting our first baby in August. Does anyone have experience of buying a baby an airline ticket before it is born? Do you just need to find out the sex and choose a name, or is it more complicated?
Thanks, ladyhump - it sounds like fun! Pity I can't imagine anyone doing it for me here! OK, this is my second baby, but still, I didn't have it the first time round!
Regarding time change - it shouldn't affect the baby really, as he/she hasn't developed enough of a sense of time yet.
ladyhump - sorry I forgot to check this thread for a while! I'm due in June too (5th) but this is my second LO so I'm not planning on doing a hospital tour. We did one last time (at around 35 weeks) and it was really useful.
FenLondon - Canada is the same as NZ I think, I'm on a british passport as my dad was born here, but I have a Canadian passport as I was born there. My son has both, but his kids wont be Canadian unless they're born there... However, there's also something called right-of-abode which allows you to work and live in the UK if you're from the commonwealth and your grandparents were UK citizens - not sure if that will work the other way but it might apply to our kids and grandkids!
PregnantPenguin - I was born in the UK but grew up in NZ, married a Kiwi and came back here. I've got both passports and he's just on the NZ one. Was looking this up at the weekend and NZ's rules changed a couple of years ago, now they're similar to the UK, so they distinguish whether you are a citizen by "descent" or not. We're expecting in July, and she'll be British by being born here and to a british mum, but she'll also be able to get Kiwi citizenship by descent. The fun comes if she has kids, if they're born here they can't then claim NZ nationality, but if they're born in NZ they can, and then I think they can apply for UK via their Mum's naturalised citizenship. So I see a generational game of pingpong going on between the two countries to preserve the dual nationality! Advantages and disadvantages to having parents in in laws 12,000 miles away...
Welcome Yankunian. I'm flying to the states with my baby in November, so she will be about 5 months old at the time. Not sure about time change, but I've heard it's not too hard on little ones. If you can buy a portable blackout blind, that helps as you can slowly ease the baby into the time change over a couple of days. I bought one for that reason. Good luck coming down to London. I don't mind all the big stuff happening there as that's where I live. Easy for me!
Alexpolismum- A baby shower is a party held to celebrate the baby's arrival before the actual arrival. It is a time for people to celebrate the pregnancy and give the mum presents that she will need for her 1st baby (practical presents like baby baths, diapers, other necessities). Games are played related to babies and big bellies. More presents arrive after the birth of the baby, but those are more of whatever the person wants to give, like over-the-top ridiculously cute clothes and stuff.
Hello! I'm a British mum with a dual Greek-British son and another on the way! Please humour my ignorance and tell me what a baby shower is, because I've never heard of it before. Is it just having a party where people bring you presents for the baby? If so, people do this anyway in Greece, or at least they all come round in the first months with presents, with another lot at the christening.
Hmmm, PrePG, very interesting - thanks for explaining that, I knew nothing about it. We will be here for many years, I think, as DH is the main breadwinner and there isn't much work in his field in the US (even though I would secretly love to move home...). But we have talked about moving over there for a while later in life, and if that happens I will know to get me dual citizenship sorted.
And, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I miscarried last year at 10 weeks and it was horrible, took me ages to feel better - but now am 34 weeks with my first babe. I'm sure you will be back on the nest soon enough.
Just thought I'd check and make sure you all were still using this thread
Thank you everyone for your well wishes, we're coming around and moving on, but it's difficult.
Welcome Yankunian - I can only tell you the benefits of citizenship from a personal point of view. With permanent residency you can stay here until the end of time if you want, but if you were to leave for more than two years at a time, you'd be back to square one immigration wise. We know we'll always be back and forth, so it was worth it to us to go the extra step and do citizenship so that we don't have to worry about immigration ever again. The application process was pretty easy for us, but the fee was quite hefty - £600+, but it's also always going up, so we thought it was better to bite the bullet and do it now. We hope to get DH's US citizenship at some point as well. Anyone else who comes along will be a dual citizen and I just felt it was important as a mom to be able to go anywhere and every where my children can/will. Does that make any sense? Hope that helps!
Hello! Just discovered this thread - how great. I am an American expat, married to a Brit, living in Lancs for 5 years. Due May 10 with first baby and feeling a bit cut off from my family and friends back in the states. But we are planning a home birth with a wonderful doula who happens to be from Texas!
I am interested to hear about adult expats with dual citizenship - I only have permanent resident status. I didn't realise adults who weren't born here or didn't have a britsh parent could get dual US/UK citizenship. What are the benefits?
We will take the baby down to London to get a US passport sometime in June (what a hassle - I hate how everything official in this country has to happen in London)and take her over to meet her family in NYC and Vermont this August. And while there we will have a big party at which people can give her presents if they want... hopefully nothing too big!... which will essentially be a welcoming party and baby shower. Have been told traveling with a 3-month old is surprisingly easy, but am worried about how 2 weeks in a different time zone will effect her sleeping patterns.... anyone know about this?
. Sending hugs and best wishes. 
We kept calling him the "Australian guy" the whole time! 
