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another lurker here - I have read so many posts and not known the best way to respond. Having lost my stepfather to cancer last week and being there whilst he died, you really do have my utmost respect and admiration for the way you have coped with all of this, obviously at times under totally unreasonable and unnecessary pressure from others. I hope the time you have left with Steve is calm, loving and peaceful.
chocolate scented candle been burning for you all evening here in South Manchester, and although I'm not a rum drinker, had some in for cooking so had a little toast to you and Steve. Good night and God Bless you all.
Oh gosh, I can't even think what to write at a time like this but just want you to know that you are all in my prayers and I'm sending peaceful and positive vibes from Brazil. God bless.
Good morning OJ. I too join the lovely MN'ers who hope you have had a peaceful night. Thinking of you, Steve and the children and sending lots of love xxx
Just to let you know Steve is still here. DN came out at 3am, Steve quite restless, hopefully once driver is fitted he will be more comfy thou the pay off is that he will just sleep most of the time.
I cannot leave this alone this morning. The time for lurking is past.
OJ, the thread that holds you and Steve together was knotted long ago and nothing will ever break that. What you are facing now is part of the bargain made with the man you love, I am just so desperately sorry that it has come so much sooner than you and he deserve. Strength and peace to you both. Up and at 'em, OJ.
mouselady I have ben thinking that. THis has been such an amazing example of what it means to be married "for better for worse ... in sickness and in health"
Wishing you a peaceful day, all of you. Praying you can get Steve's meds sorted out so he can be more comfortable.
good morning Oj hope you had as good a night as possible in the circumstances.I hope Steve is comfortable and not in any pain.Is it possible for someone to take some more pics of you and steve together and maybe some with the children for you to treasure later ? thinking of you all x
Another one in Glasgow thinking of you. I'm so glad you had that nice snuggle with Steve at the weekend and he told you that he loved you. That is smething to cherish.
You know that him being at home is the right place for him.
Morning OJ. Hope you manage to get Steve's meds sorted out today so that he can be comfortable. Hoping you have a peaceful day. Lots of love to you and your wonderful family xxxx
Thanks for the new thread LL, thanks for all your good wishes i am sorry i don't have time to respond to all of them but i am nodding my read as i read them. Klaw, somewhere over the rainbow is one of the songs for the funeral along with songbird. steve unsettled last night but fast asleep now i am just sitting with a coffee and waiting for DN to come and fit his driver. i don't know if steve will wake up again or if he will just slip into a coma it is all a waiting game but for now i am happy that he looks peaceful.
I remember that bit about my dad when he was sleeping, he just looked so peaceful and so free of pain that we know had blighted his life for so long. You truly are a magnificent woman for what you are doing and have done for Steve and your children (and his family) I wish I could say something to make this easier but I can't.
OJ, I hope this isn't intrusive from a lurker, but I have been struck by how much this amazing story of love and loss reminds me of the death from cancer of my friend Julia Darling three years ago. Like your Steve, she was very much loved by many people.
A few months before her death, Julia wrote this poem. And in the end, this is almost exactly how her death unfolded (according to her partner - I wasn't there, I don't live near her). I hope for Steve too it is a peaceful journey:
End Eventually, I was placed on a bed like a boat in an empty room with sky filled windows, with azure blue pillows, the leopard-like quilt.
It was English tea time, with the kind of light that electrifies the ordinary. It had just stopped raining. Beads of water on glass glittered like secrets.
In another room they were baking, mulling wine. I was warm with cloves, melting butter, demerara, and wearing your pyjamas. My felt slippers
waited on the floor. Then the door opened soundlessly, and I climbed out of bed. It was like slipping onto the back of a horse,
and the room folded in, like a pop up story then the house, and the Vale. Even the songs and prayers tidied themselves into grooves
and the impossible hospital lay down its chimneys its sluices, tired doctors, and waiting room chairs. And I came here. It was easy to leave.
And here is a poem that Julia's friend Jackie Kay wrote after her death. When I think about people I love who have died, the last verse is immensely helpful to me.
You might forget the exact sound of her voice Or how her face looked when sleeping. You might forget the sound of her quiet weeping Curled into the shape of a half moon,
When smaller than her self, she seemed already to be leaving Before she left, when the blossom was on the trees And the sun was out, and all seemed good in the world. I held her hand and sang a song from when I was a girl -
Heil Ya Ho Boys, Let her go Boys And when I stopped singing she had slipped away, Already a slip of a girl again, skipping off, Her heart light, her face almost smiling.
And what I didn't know or couldn't see then Was that she hadn't really gone. The dead don't go till you do, loved ones. The dead are still here holding our hands.
oj i have found the version that klaw was looking for of over the rainbow but i dont . know if i should put it on here.it is on the scuttle thread as klaw couldnt find it.nab thankyou for doing that.
about you know who but we are not tainting this thread with her. cow
OJ. So so sad for you.
