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: WE ARE WITH YOU--------OJ-------COME AND SHOW YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE FOR OJ AND FAMILY
(1001 messages)
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I was at work this morning and couldn't stop thinking of OJ, and how awful her mil is. You know if OJ was my daughter in law she would be telling me to piss off as I would want to help her to much, I mean she is so easy to like you would just want her for your own, wouldn't you? I vow here and now, to be a different mil from her for my childrens partners.
Dearest Oj...............I cannot sleep tonight, I am depressed tonight, I am upset, I am so sad for you, your children and for their wonderful father, I wish with all my heart I could take this pain away for you, dearesr Oj, love and prayers, and strength I send to you this night xxxxx
OJ, I hope I'm not treading on toes but I wanted to suggest a song to you for this time and when Steve slips away... It may not be your kinda thing but I think it is so beautiful...
It's Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's version of Over the Rainbow. I can't see YouTube to check out the version that's there... I first heard it on OneTrueMedia when vainly trying to make a montage of dd. Computer said no.
Right, we are almost at the end of this thread - let's start afresh, wipe our memories of the evil MIL from Hell, and just concentrate on good wishes, shall we?
LGJ Yeah I know hospices can be great but when you want to be at home and you can be at home why would you want to be in one. It just seems the the MIL does not want Steve to be happy as he can be at home with his family. She just has no idea what Steve wants yet trying to change want happens. Like someone else said, She wants to be in control and does not know when to stop.
Only just seen your update from this afternoon (god I've been crap following your whole journey). Thinking of you all and praying for peaceful night for you.
OJ, nobody can know Steves wishes better than you. Your lives have been intertwined for so long that no amount of crap from THEM can break the bond. I am certain that Steve would want you making the decisions for him, not them. You have been so brave for so long. Wishing you peace tonight. love xx
I hate to say it OJ but I don't think your MIL is ever going to change. The sad thing is that it is her loss if she cannot see how wonderful you and the kids are and how Steve would want to BE WITH YOU when the time comes. I suspect she realizes that her tantrums are fruitless now but for the sake of trying to come across as the victim in all of this she will probably keep up her antics until the end. I know so many of us have said this (and its easy as we are not in your shoes) but you Steve and the kids are what is most important. You need to spend all the time you possibly can together and share those last precious moments (when they come) with each other as a family. Sorry to sound harsh but if all Steve's mum is going to kick off, abuse and disregard you and the kids then it is not worth having her there. xxx
The MIL as no idea. Who wants to spend their last few days of life stuck in a hospice when you can be at home getting all the care that can be given and with the ones you love.
Grrrrr
Off to try and sleep now but our candle will be burning all night (safely)
OJ, you are doing an amazing job of taking care of Steve. Who cares what his brother and mum think he wants.
They clearly just want to be in control and will stop at nothing it seems. You do what is right for you, Steve and your children. They will just have to like it or lump it.
I have adopted a saying of my brother's for dealing with the sort of crap you are getting from MIL, OJ. He tells me: 'tune it out, it's only noise.' You know what Steve wants, so you don't need to engage with any of this. It really is only noise. Only Steve and the children matter.
Re Steves brother, and Steves wishes, just listen, smile, fix the smile even harder onto your face, then turn on your heel and mutter under your breath.
It is so hard not knowing exactly when the end is coming. Sitting and waiting for the inevitable must hurt so very much. The syringe driver wll help to make Steve comfortable and hopefully stop any peaks of pain. The best thing you can do right now is exactly what you are doing. Being there, holding him and loving him. Have a peaceful night. xx
Debbie the Mac nurse couldn't say when it would happen but just that it would be soon it is the girls birthdays next month MIL had a chat with debbie who put her in the picture about how she may not be there at the end cos there may not be enough time, she spoke to her about the need for a driver as steve cannot swallow, MIL said wouldn't he be better off in the hospice? that'll be the same hospice that they have made a formal complaint about MIL told debbie that steves brother want to talk to me to let me know what steves wishes are why would he think i don't already know?
I will be thinking of you Oj and i am hoping that you can still have a lot of cuddles with your dear Steve.Like most of the others i have watched Steves awful illness develope over the months and even though you told us what the outcome would be,somehow i cant believe its nearly time for Steve to be at peace and free from this terrible illness he has had to cope with.I feel very heavy hearted for you and your children and of course for Steve.Sending you some strength to help you over the coming days.Goodnight Oj,i hope you manage to get some rest.x
OJ, hope Steve and you both sleep well tonight and that it is an uneventful one. Thank you so much for taking the time to update us. Am thinking of you as always. xxx
OJ, I'm glad Steve is comfortable tonight. We are all thinking of you up here. I took a look at your photo's - I can't believe how grown up E looks since I saw him!!
LGJ, thank you for noticing and yes I am back, prob temporarily, Whispy has been kind enough to update me by text about OJ and I was chomping at the bit to get back on in person.
Steve seems comfortable and his breathing is steady. we have had the DN out 3 times today to give him morphine by injection as he is no longer able to swallow, they are putting the driver in tomorrow. thanks for all your kind words and wishes
Goodnight, I go to bed with you in my thoughts and will wake again with you there also.
Know that there are hundreds of us out here thinking of you, I have told friends about you who are not on MN and are all following your lives, as I am sure most of us have.
OJ we can't change the outcome of Steve's illness, which you have been incredibly candid about on MN, but we will all do whatever we can to help you and your family at this difficult time, xxx
oj, I was thinking about you all this morning and was so relieved that what sounded like the beginning of the end a couple of days ago seemed to have receded...so shocked and saddened to hear what the mac nurse told you, I was hoping Steve would still be here with you for ages yet.
I bought a chocolate candle recently, for no apparent reason, now I'm so glad I did...it's burning in my window down in Cornwall...you and your family are in my thoughts. Wishing peace and strength at such a devastating time xxx
I'm another lurker on here - I never post because I can never find the right words, but I promise you OJ, this thread is the first one I read everytime I come onto mumsnet.
I am so sorry to read this latest update. I feel as though we have all had a wonderful insight into the lovely man Steve is by the updates you give us OJ.
Your love for each other shines through in your words and I am so happy that you managed to have some nice time to chat and for Steve to tell you he loves you last weekend. You'll treasure those words forever.
I will be praying for you all tonight and will light a candle for Steve.
thinking of you oj, and praying for strength for you and your beautiful children for the days to come. a candle's burning brightly here in Yorkshire. love and prayers, D xxxx
OJ, I am heartbroken that you, Steve and the kids have to go through this. You know where I am. I'll also keep my mobile next to my bed tonight. Call me any time. xxx
Jo, I hope you and Steve have a quiet night tonight. We will be thinking of you. It will seem surreal when it happens but try not to push yourself into facing it or believing he has gone, give yourself time to adjust.
Thinking of you all at this very sad time but knowing that Steve`s pain will be gone soon can help a little.
You are all very brave for telling us your story and keeping us all up to date. A lot of people would have just shut themselves away from the rest of the world.
You have given us an insight when we are loosing someone very close to us. The lows and the highs times, Just like 2 days ago when you told us that Steve said he loves you. I think you made us all cry then. Not because of sadness but because of the joy of Steve still telling you he loves you. You are both truly in love and this love for each other will never die.
May he fall asleep for the last time hearing the words "I will love you forever"
Thinking of you all. Love and hugs Hazel and family xxx
Just having a quiet thought about this awful time, this loving family are all going through, and one positive thing is that so many of us have never met them, yet we all have this common bond of support and love, for them.
There will not be many without a tear in their eye whilst reading this thread.
fills up a few gaps though eh?? 
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