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My poor little ds. He has been so brave.It looks awful and is hurting him when he moves.He is restricted to the bed. He hasnt weed yet since the op at 2.30 yesterday.He flatty refused to get in the bath today.We carried him there and attempted to sit him down but he was beside himself. Can anyine advice on this? Does anyone know anyone or anything??
I had a boyfriend who remembers being circumcised aged 3 (medically necessary), and said the first bath was the worst bit. I also remember he said it got better fairly fast after the first day.
Bignose, i would say he really needs to get in the bath, he might be able to wee in there too. My 12 yo ds has just had a prepeutioplasty - where they make a v shaped cut in the foreskin but don't remove it totally and the consultant was very hot on ensuring he knew he had to get on with it even though it would be sore to start with, but it sounds as though your ds is a lot younger. Is he getting enough pain relief?, my ds was on paracetemol (ie calpol), then 2 hours after the calpol some ibuprofen (ie neurofen), then 2 hrs later more calpol, then 2 hrs later more neurofen - he will be fine with that regime for a few days until the worst of the pain dies down. Also did they give you some of the local anaesthetic gel to put on it before weeing/bath etc - my ds found that really helpful
I'd call the hospital and ask them. They will advise you on upping or changing pain relief. My DS has had several ops and they have always been happy to help afterwards.
He's weed&pood finally.28hrs after! He stood and did it on the bathroom floor on a towel as suggested by myself. He wont have a bath though.Had to force gently last night and omg did he scream.Cant see him going for that again in a hurry.
The anaesthetic gel was great when my DS had it done 2 years ago hes 12 now,had a relatively easy time,very anxious about it hurting in 1st 24-48 hrs,he didn't want a bath straightaway,but when he did it was soothing and not painful,but it is easier to reason with them when they are older.I got him some boxer shorts that were too big,and we found a margerine carton(??) to tape over the area so that nothing"hit" or pressed on it overnight,mad I know,but it worked!! Maybe try sitting him in an empty bath and letting him pour warm water over himself,if it doesnt hurt he mat trust you to fill the bath up.Add salt to the water as it aids healing.
He had to have for medical reasons.It was so tight and it got sore alot.Wish he didnt have to.Defo wouldnt agree with it for any other reason-not now!! He is petrified of even standing in the bath.I managed to stand him in there whilst I sat in there. I poured a little bit of water over it but he cried.Im sure its just fear and doesnt actually realise that it would sting first but then get better. He's male!!
My ds was 4 when he had it done we put lavender in the bath to make the water 'special' for making sore bits better, he helped count the drops and it was the getting in that was hardest, once he was in there it was soothing and he never wanted to get out again. Be aware that as it heals it will be very sensitive as the skin get used to being exposed, I do recall wee shooting off in all directions which he thought was very funny Plenty to drink as dilute wee stings less. But the baths are vital, we did 2 a day, you don't want it to get infected, obvious I know but I know of someones that did, really not nice.
My ds had exactly the same op when he was 6 (medical reasons- we had no choice). It looked awful and was so sore it couldn't be covered- we cut the front out of his joggers. He had a dreadful time, came round while still being operated on we were told, absolute screaming panic. The first 48 hours were by far the worst, by second week he was proudly displaying the scene of the crime to all comers during PE. And perfectly okay. It healed up fine and it looked a complete mess to start with. Just to give you hope.
damewashalot, I have no idea what im doing.He had it done on tues.He wont get in the bath (Physically force him now),he will not wear anything,he will not go wee or poo on the toilet.He didnt go toilet for 28hrs so when he was shaking with the holding of it and shear panic I made a suggestion that he go standing and doin it on a towel on the floor.He did this and now wants to do it like that every time.Iv now managed to get him to go in the little pot that detaches from his potty whilst I have to hold it.This afternoon he said he wanted a poo so we both went into the loo and I refused to let him do it in the pot and lifted him on the toilet in a way that ensured hi willy wouldnt touch the toilet.This was successful but he screamed and screamed and was psychotic un til I let go and allowed him to get off!! His just had his second bath since the op and again we had to force him down on the water. I tried to get him to put some very lose shorts on today.I said you are not having any of your toys or your bed downstairs until you at least try and see what they feel like.He put them on for 10seconds if that. He is being very demanding,whining,moaning,crying at everything. Is he supposed to be like this.Is this exceptable? Should I be harder on him or go with what he wants. I feel he is being a wimp. Please advice as no idea how I should be. My dh says it will feel so sensitive but not really painful,just diff.I think he may be a bit too hard on him.
Have you thought of using a paddling pool with warm water? Treat it like a game and use some of his bath toys to distract him? Is he old enough to role play- could you pretend on of his favourite toys has had the same op and must take a bath to feel better?
I am not sure how you would keep the area clean (ie. if you need a bath) but if not I definatly would wait until he is ready to have one - just bed bath him for a while (I did this for abit after I had DS and had stitches). Let him go to the toilet anyway he is comfortable with - the best way probably would be in the bath (wee I mean!) if he was going to have one. Maybe a handheld fan on the area might soothe it abit?
I think you are being very harsh on him actually. He is a little boy whose willy is probably very, very sore - he is in pain and frightened. How do you except him to react?
I had an episiotomy 2 years ago and it was one of the worst pains I have ever suffered, even with all the painkillers, and it lasted for weeks. Some people's epis don't cause them much bother. I don't think your DH can really tell you how much pain your little boy is in, or 'ought' to be in.
If it was me I think I would get medical advice on his pain. And give him all the cuddles, poos on the pot and whatever else he needs.
My dh had it done recently. I think he found tighter pants comfier as less movement. He took lots of painkillers too. It actually healed v quickly. Hope your ds recovers soon and is not too traumatised by it all. If it continues to be v painful might be worth getting it checked out?
Don't feel bad, BigNose. Did the hospital give you much in the way of advice re aftercare - could you call the ward and ask re pain relief for DS? Poor little chap - it must be very scary for him.
Let him go nudey or nudey top half round the house if he wants aswell - I didn't wear knickers for about a week I don't think after episiotomy. And I cried like a baby on the loo
dh had this done at 12 and he said it was really painful for at least a week and then super sesitive for a good few weeks-he didn't wear pants or anything-wore arobe thing roun the house.
Alternate the pain relief as suggested. That gel sounds good. He's been through a lot. A GA can leave them feeling out of sorts for a couple of weeks and they just need cuddles and reassurance - humour him. Will second how lovely lavender oil is in the bath - you only need 3-4 drops. A new bath toy perhaps e.g. tesco sell wind up bath toys.
Ds might also need the same op so your little man has my every sympathy.
Ok, sorry, that wasn't helpful, you are asking for advice, I don't want to make you feel bad too
Don't be hard on him. Children don't demand cuddles or reassurance for the sake of it, or to wind us up, they ask because they need it and this child is terrified and in pain.
Be really soft with him, that will help repair the loss of trust, I know you did it for a good reason but he won't understand that and will feel frightened and so on.
Please, please just let your heart rule a bit. I know people say you can spoil children but this isn't really true, not with love and cuddling them - only with expensive toys! They can never have too much love.
Please stop forcing him into the water. There's no need. Ask the Drs for advice about how to keep it clean etc. but please, listen to your little lad for a while at least and treat him very gently x
Sorry I was so harsh earlier, just rather shocked - I should have been gentler.
Bignose I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you off, I can see you were just wondering what approach to take, we all get it wrong sometimes, especially me I know you want what's best for him, some men were called wimps when they were little so havea hard time showing sympathy for their little boys in turn, maybe that's why your dh isn't more soft on him. You be the one to stand up for ds and be really gentle with him, he needs a nice soft mummy right now, and he isn't a wimp, and hopefully when he is big and has kids of his own he will be really soft with them too If a 4 year old can't be a baby, when can anyone?! Indulge - I think you know the answer just trust yourself.
I HAVENT CALLED HIM A WIMP OR EVEN TREATED HIM LIKE A WIMP AT ALL. I JUST POSTED ON HERE HOW I WAS FEELING!! IF ANYTHING IM BEN VERY SOFT AND WAS WORRYING THAT I SHOULDNT BE. I HAVENT SAID ANYTHING TO HIM TO MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE A WIMP.
bignose, I totally understand what you are going through. 2 of my boys have needed ops on their penises (not circumcision but I reckon the after effects are the same!)
I remember the screaming and refusing to wee or shower or move soooooo well. It is all very well others here criticising you for being firm with your ds, but they are not in the frustrating and deeply worrying situation that you are in. I know I got pretty cross with my eldest son too. In fact I once left him in hospital overnight (he was only in as a day patient to have a little adjustment to his first op) because he point blank refused to wee and they would not let him home until he had weed. I suppose some here would find that cruel of me, but there was nothing I could do and I thought he might respond better to the nurses than to me. Plus I had other children to consider.
It is very hard not to show your frustration, I know. I also share your annoyance that the anaesthetic gel is not handed out more liberally. I had to beg for that once and was finally given it by a doctor who had nothing to do with my son's case and just took pity on me. Could you try contacting the hospital and explain what has been happening and ask for their advice? IME, they are quite good at suggestions when they know how desperate you are.
Weeing in the bath is much easier than weeing in the loo but if your boy wont get in a bath, you are onto a loser before you have started. The only helpful thing I can say is that the pain does seem to lessen quite quickly and the penis heals quickly too.
Oh thanku dumbledoresgirl Im so pleased you understand.You've just said exactly how it is. He's just woke up crying and was shaking and distraught.I think he wanted a wee so carried him to the loo and he couldnt speak thru crying so much.He then weed on the floor and it really did come bursting out. I also think I should add he has ear ache too which I called the doc out to (to my utter surprise a doc agreed to come out,after the receptionist was SO rude saying docs dont come out to children for just an ear ache!!!!!!!!!!)check them out.
Does it hurt him when he wees? You can try calpol although I never found it made much difference. It might give your son a pyschological benefit though... With my boys, I found that ds1 was the hardest to begin with because he was terrified of the pain, (he was the one who got the gel in the end and was left overnight in hospital to wee) but he got over the op quite quickly.
Ds3 was less scared of the pain but still complained of pain when weeing up to 2 weeks after the op (don't want to depress you here!) He was also much less inclined to do anything and spent several days on the sofa and had to be carried everywhere, whereas ds1 was out in the park within days.
So they are all different. If your son has ear ache too, he must be feeling really miserable. Hopefully by Monday you will see a real difference. Good luck with it until then.
I can't add anything at all but wanted you to know that I really feel for you. The last 3 days of being stuck at home with my 4 yr old with a sore throat has been bad. You have got the extra worry of not being able to understand how it feels or what is 'normal'.
I don't think you've been harsh you sound like you are letting out some of your stress on here. The majority of what is typed on here is never spoken in RL.
Keep going - it can't be this bad for much longer.
I'm sorry if you feel that people are not being understanding - I think it was you saying that you refused to let him poo on a potty and that he couldn't have his toys downstairs til he had tried to wear shorts and asking whether crying and being demanding is acceptable in a 4 year old who has just had a minor but traumatic surgery may have given people the wrong idea about how you are being with your boy. I'm very sorry if I misunderstood you. Just to reinforce your instincts - I don't think you can be too sort with him under the circumstances. Hope he feels better soon.
i did say that I just wanted him to try the shorts and see how they felt.I did get a little frustrated but he certainly doesnt know what I was really feeling. It was gentle encouragement and I took the toys as he wasnt listening to me at all.The ready bed cover was being cleaned so he was on the sofa and he asked for it whilst I was trying to encourage the shorts so its not like I took them away angrily I just said when you have at least tried the shorts to see how they feel then you have those things.
It probably isn't all that helpful to say it, but it really will get better soon. I know that doesn't help for now. I can't help but feel that in days gone past, children (and indeed adults) were kept in hospital for longer after ops than they are now and, in some ways, that was easier for all concerned. I have been stunned at the level of nursing care and skills I have had to quickly learn after my children were in hospital.
