So - I'm seriously considering a mummy tuck. I have been exercising my arse off for a year now, and whilst my arse looks really rather nice, and the rest of me is significantly firmer than before, I still have a saggy belly and even saggier norks. I can afford surgery, dh is probably about to get 3 months off work so I can have the time off from my SAHM role to recover, I have had 2 c-sections so feel I have an understanding of the pain/seriousness of surgery and I want to do it. DH is all for it - he likes me as I am, but liked me as I used to be as well so is happy for me to do anything that makes me happy (as long as I don't have my norks reduced too much). I want to be able to wear strapless dresses (my 32GG's defy even bravissimos best strapless bra) and to not be able to hold a beer bottle under my breast (don't ask why I know I can do that)

BUT: I have strong ideological objections. I feel vain and shallow, both for risking death under GA for the sake of a better body, and for caring about how I look so much. I feel like I would be completely letting go of any feminist principles I ever had, by conforming to a societal ideal of beauty as being slim waisted and perky norked. I feel I am in some way betraying my (much loved and planned) children by trying to undo the damage they have done ot my body. I feel bad for even thinking of the effect they have had on my body as damaging - I feel I should celebrate and rejoice in my sagginess as physical reminders of the fact I have produced and breastfed two wonderful children. I feel like I'm sad and pathetic for not being confident in my imperfect body

Am I just overanalysing this too much? Should I jsut go ahead and do it? Or am I really vain and shallow? All opinions requested and respected.

ooooh gosh, isn't it really serious surgery? my friend was considering it but the gore factor was too high for her in the end.
my general rule with plastic surgery, though, is if you can afford it and you want to, you should. but that's a hard op.

Do wht your gut instinct tells you (no pun intended)

PS does a "mummy tuck" involve the whole of the mummy???

I wouldn't have surgery but thats just a personal thing.I look a mess,greys coming through,no make up....AM WORST PERSON TO ASK

I say go for it - you only live once. I had my boobs done and I'm really glad. It was not much of an ordeal for me at all and it looks really good. I think good plastic surgery is great and can do wonders for your self-confidence.

oooh i have such strong anti surgery opinion. Not sure why I do, I'm not particularly feminist or anything. I think I object to the whole unecessary risk and the principle of paying to look better. Your body as it is is not imperfect, you just think it is.

Also, if you have a good PS they would not undertake surgery if they felt it represented a significant risk for you to have a GA.

These days I do think it's quite safe as long as you choose a plastic surgeon, not a surgeon who does cosmetic surgery.

It's not jsut the ga I'd worry about it's po infection. Didn't someone famous just recently die from this surgery or their mum?

I think all that stuff about rejoicing in the sagginess that your wonderful offspring have left you with is a load of shite.

I also think there is nothing wrong with caring how you look to a certain extent and wanting to increase your confidence.

I would however be worried about the possible dangers of the surgery.

It wouldn't stop me ,but I would research the surgeon who does it really really well .

I worry about the tummy tuck surgery more for some reason,I remember seeing a docu about a footballers wife who had a disastrous one.

So ,yes if I were you I'd go ahead...with heaps of caution.

I would if I could afford it.

I would like a breast implant, or two , and a tummy tuck. I am vain. Vanity is nothing to be ashamed of, unless it is coupled with insincerity, ignorance and an empty brain.

I agree with ggirl - I don't think it is a betrayal to your children. I don't really see how it differs from having your teeth straightened which most of us do without a second thought...

this was my surgeon I found him excellent throughout. It is worth researching who you are going to have I think.

I think it was Puff Daddy (P-Diddy?) who recently paid for his mum to have plastic surgery and she died of infection just after. That kind of story scares me, but if I could get over the fear and could afford the surgery then I would go for it. I would love to have a firm tum and perky breasts again .

electra did you have a mummy tuck??[nosey]

No, because my tummy is ok but my boobs went saggy after bf and I was really miserable about it. I had very little left at all and it has made all the difference. Actually, admittedly my operation was a breast aug which is easier recovery than some and I had overs too which is quicker recovery than if you have unders.

(It was Kanye west´s mother who died from surgery)

I wouldn't as I nearly died after a c section. It made me realise how serious surgery can be. I also have a strong distaste for our culture and the way women are made to feel about their bodies, especially after having kids. The more women that allow their bodies to be altered, the more pressure on others to look 'better'. I have seen the results of tummy tucks and to be honest, some look awful with hip to hip scars and still stretched skin etc. I feel it is more OK to have surgery to correct an abnormality if wanted (ie teeth, squint, injury etc) but if it is for something 'normal' (ie pregnancy changes) then it makes me feel sad for society and scared for my DDs generation.

You see jelly that's how I feel. and then I look at my personal trainer - similar shape to me but no kids, who had a breast reduction and lift. Her boobs look like mine do in a superb bra - when she's braless, so she can wear anything she wants, and I want to have her boobs goddammit!

Wrinkly - a mummy tuck is just the latest name for the combined breats lift/abdominal reduction that corrects the ravages of childbirth.
I really don't have an issue with the dangers of the surgery - I know a lovely lady who has professionally researched the absolute best surgeons and given me her recommendations, and the scary stats on GA hide the fact that a lot of people who have one alraedy have an underlying condition a taht causes the problems, so in young, healthy, fairly fit individual like me there is very little risk.

pru I would go for it I am seriously considering the same when I have stopped feeding ds2 if you can afford it and you get a good surgeon why not
having body issues can really damage self esteem

do you know how long you need to have stopped bf to have the breast lift done?

andiem - I think the recommendation was 6 months - a year of stopping feeding. I fed my children for 4 years altogether and it took its toll! I had mine about 10 months after I stopped feeding dd2.

I think if you can face the pain and think the surgeon will do a good job go for it

I'd go for it if I could afford it.

Absolutely!

Also don't really agree that women who have surgery are putting pressure on others to look better - we all have different lives and that view could be applied to anything when you think of it. I would not have had a BA when I was 19....but I didn't see why I should kiss goodbye to having a nice figure at only 25 if I could do something about it.

Ooooh it's a tough one.

Pre-children I was SO staunchly anti-surgery for all the reasons listed on this thread.

Now... I must admit I'm wavering. The sight of my poor boobs like two ping pong balls in a pair of socks has made me wonder if maybe surgery might be something to consider when I've finished having children and have a little time and money to myself.

I think I feel it more because I so adore my body while I'm pregnant or breastfeeding - all enormous and full and important. The saggy leftovers when the baby has come out and the milk has dried up is a rather sad contrast.

i understand your dilemma completely. in principle i'm completely anti-surgery. I hate the fact that you can't look at anyone in the public eye and think 'oh, so-and-so look's good for their age' without wondering what they've had done, if anything.

Like you, i think we should all be proud of our amazing bodies and what we've achieved with them, rather than being ashamed at our saggy bits.

But, also like you, my boobs have suffered from b/f and have gone from a big-ish and perky 34c to saggy A cups, my belly is also still about 4 mths pg looking, and i just can't help feeling self concious about it. I feel sad that i don't look as hot as i used to. And then i feel terribly shallow for feeling this way.

So not much use for helping you make your decision but at least you know your ambivalence on this topic isn't unusual.

With a mummy tuck is it possible to have breasts reduced and tummy tuck at the same time ? This sounds horrendously painful but something I'd seriously consider as I have saggy skin on my stomach already and I'm planning on losing another 2-3 stone so it'll be a whole lot worse then. My breasts however, well lets just say that even when I was a size 10 in jeans, I needed a size 14/16 or even 18 top/t-shirt to house the bu**ers.

Do the consultants insist on you having a bmi of a certain level ?

The way I look at it I hardly buy any clothes because there's so little variety in my "shape", I don't smoke or drink or buy cd's/ dvd's or gadgets so if I want to spend some money on ME and if I save up the money over the next couple of years by which time my youngest will be school age. I hated the attention I got from men when I was size 10 with very large breasts and I don't want to return to those days (No-one looks twice at the moment as I'm fat all over so boobs don't stand out so much and although this is pleasant I don't want to stay fat as it is uncomfortable in other ways)

My main worry would be what would people say. I think I'd probably big up the back/neck pain problems and hint that the breast reduction was on medical recommendation, keep quite about the tummy tuck bit and hope no-one found out about it until much later.

I am seriously considering a tummy tuck myself. I've lost a couple of stone lately, and have another two to go, but I know that will make absolutely no difference to the 'pouch' of skin I have.

If I had the money, the time and the number of a fab surgeon, I would go for it.

Life is too short IMO.

((if you do find a good surgeon, let us know!)

God Pru - not seen you for years but looked great last time I saw you!

If you think it would make you happy do it, I would have a tummy tuck, nose job and boob lift is DH would cough up!

You don't need a nose job twinkie. And thank you - but IIRC(and I hope I do) I was fully clothed, and probably wearing magic knickers and a boulder holder bra - it's a different matter when the clothes come off!

Wasn't it the Tom Conti character in Shirley Valentine who says she should be proud of her stretch marks because it means she is a mother etc etc. Shirley Valentine, meantime, is thinking he doesn't half talk a load of crap pretentious nonsense.

hmmm
I think your two children are a reminder that you have had two children

I used to be anti surgery, felt that living with your uniqueness is Character Building.

Now that I am getting older and I swear my nose is growing...i have changed my mind.

And you have some serious Norkage

Go for it with caution.

And I think it sounds like you have a fab husband.

Do you think you'll go for it prufrock?

I've been researching and I think I might just go for the breast reduction, with potentially a bit of lipo on the very stubborn bit of fat in the middle of my belly - examining carefully my tummy actually looks better now than some of the tuumy tuck "after" pictures! And a breast reduction is a significantly easier op than a tummy tuck. And (I know that this is just justifying it to myself but that's what I need) it's only now I've done some research that I've realised taht my constantly tense shoulders and neck could actually be down to the heaviness on my chest.
I am waiting to find out of dh gets offered his super-duper new job, which should be by the end of teh week, so I can book in a consultation down in London with the 2 potential surgeons.

Good luck with finding the right surgeon etc.