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Health
: Anybody know much about stoma care, after bowel surgery?
(102 messages)
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Hi, My Dh is coming home today after his big op, trying to trawl thru the net mainly looking for more info on diet for him, seems abit confusing, just wonder if anyone can help lease?
An ileostomy, they have now said today it will not be reversed until all the treatment is over, which is a long road, poss 12 months. He came home today but has felt sick all day, and is in the loo now poor thing as the bag is filling quickly as he is only really drinking, doesn`t want to eat. Its all so new and scary, so be glad of any help, booklet given by stoma nurse is really not informative enough and I haven`t got time to trawl!
no practical help - but just wanted to say my dad had a colostomy 20 yrs ago (OMG how can it be that long!!!). I don't know how he coped with it at the time - I was just a teen - but it doesn't seem to have restricted his life. Hope your DH is ok.
New stomas can take a while to settle down, so he may find his bowels are a bit all over the place at first. If he has the runs, it's probably best to avoid eating too much fruit and veg at first whilst things settle down. Some fruits can stimulate the bowel.
I found this webpage here, it's an American site but the info is good in my opinion (I used to work on a surgical ward where we did loads of bowel surgery, resections, stomas etc.)
I hope you've got the number for the stoma nurse, you should be able to call them for advice during working hours.
I have a permanent colostomy after surgery for bowel cancer. I had the surgery in December and all works well now. I can eat pretty much a normal diet.
You do have to be more careful about what you eat with an ileostomy. As well as the IA there are several boards for ostomates of all sorts.I found links from the colostomy association website. I'm sure there will be similar on the IA site.
He should have a stoma nurse who can help him with all the things he needs to know. Mine is great. They will come and visit you at home if you really need it. I've also found the district nurses quite clued up as they look after a lot of older people who can't quite manage their own bags.
From talking to other ostomates and people on boards it can be harder to deal with a temporary job as you don't have to. I would advise him to chat away with people and get lots of tips and he can work out what suits him. If you can't find any good boards I'll have a root around for you later.
He must take great care to look after his skin right from the start. Don't hesitate to ask for help with the skin f it starts getting sore as it is easier to make it better earlier on than if you get to the stage of ulcers.
Good luck. It takes adjustment but it will be fine.
Thank you everyone, and hi Oj. He is still feeling sick so cannot eat and that is making things worse, an awful lot of gurgling going on, the kids understand to a certain extent, and tonight we all had to laugh as we have named the bag "GLADYS". Poor Harry, I have never seen him look so tired and fed up, I am sure I wouldn`t be coping half as well. So hurts to see him like this, Rebecca is fine, but the boys way of dealing with it is to keep away from him, they will come round in time, its all beeen such a shock in a short space of time.
Triplets my dh had an ileostomy 2 years ago after surgery for bowel cancer. Like your dh he had a lot of problems early on with large volumes of very watery output. In fact he was in hospital for 4 weeeks post surgery because he couldn't drink enough to maintain fluid balance. He also found it very difficult to eat to ....no appetite. Sadly we found no miracle cure but with time and trial and error he learnt what he could and couldn't eat. he was recommended gelatine based sweets such as marshmallows, jelly babies etc to help 'thicken' output - not the best things if your feeling sick though. He was also recommended peanut butter (smooth not crunchy) and bananas. He was told to avoid mushrooms and whole nuts and the skins on fruit and veg always upset him. Dh's output was always quite watery but after time he managed with it very well. I echo what ThingOne said about taking good care of the skin around the stoma especially as the output is watery. My dh's was reversed after six months which was to give the join in his bowel chance to heal properly. I hope everything goes well for your Dh and things settle for him soon. What other treatment is he going to be having? It's been 18 months since my dh's reversal so memory may be a bit rusty. If I think of anything else I will post again.
shouldbeworking - I could jump right into the monitor and hug you
Trips and I are friends in RL and I just flounder around trying to sound like I know what I am talking about. You will really, really be able to help her. Please keep in touch with her.
I know that she has felt they are in a hopless situation and you can show her there is great hope.
Thank you so much. Sending much appreciation from Bolton, Lancashire.
Shabster....All hugs greatfully received . Thankyou!! Triplets just thought I'd mention how my dcs reacted to dh's illness. I have 3 dcs two teenage boys and an 11 year old dd. My middle son in particular found it very difficult to deal with. He refused to visit his dad in hospital...he only went once during the whole time dh was in (6 weeks in total) and that was only because he had no choice. It was during ds's gcse years at school so that didn't help either. Ds is quite bright and had been set high targets by his school and was feeling pressured to achieve them. He was at times quite horrible to his dad. This came to a head when he told him if he was going to die to get on with it. Obviously dh was very hurt by this...him and dh are so alike it's scary and had been close. I had a long talk with ds and it turned out he had decided that if he made his dad hate him and he could hate his dad it wouldn't hurt if he did die. As the months have passed things have got better between them....now we just have the usual parent/teenager disagreements!!! My eldest son has always coped much better. He has a disability and I suppose it could be because he is more used to medical treatments and hospitals so found it less daunting. He quite often went to visit his dad in hospital with his mates on evenings when I was at work so couldn't. Dd was 8 when dh was diagnosed, has always been a daddy's girl. We told her as much as we felt she could understand and answered her questions as honestly as possible.
Oh also remembered that, much to dh's dismay, real ale type beers had very undesirable effects on his bag. We like walking and country pubs were always planned in to the route. Only time his bag ever burst was after an encounter with a pint of beer!! Now we plan walks around tea rooms instead as although his ileostomy has now been reversed beer still doesn't agree with him. I can remember some very dark days just after my dh's surgery. I seemed to be spending my days in the car driving to and from the hospital and trying vainly to fit everything else in around this. Also had my mil staying who came over to 'help' but actually didn't cope at all well with dh's illness so I was supporting her too. But we are living proof that there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope and, although I know how hard it is, try to stay positive. I have to say that I have coped by refusing to accept that there was ever going to be anything but a good outcome for my dh and, when he was at his lowest after surgery, I just used to keep telling myself that it was better than the alternative iyswim.
Shabster, could you be my social worker please? That info is great. Harry has had a large tumour removed from the large bowel, He was told just ver a month ago he has bowel cancer which has spread to his liver, we have 10 yr old triplets after losing our 14yr old son in 94. So bloody unfair. He is having chemo in 6 weeks time, for 3 months, then the plan is up to Kings in London for liver resection as the lesions are all in an area suitable for that. This will be backed up by three more months chemo, a long road.We are coping, the kids are coping, lucky we have such tremendous support from family(except my Mum) and friends. Mumsnet is a godsend, everyone like yourself instantly jumps in to offer help and support, you are all amazing ! xx
Shouldbeworking...me too! You sound so positive, what stage is your DH now, does he have secondaries? He must be alot younger than Harry, Harry is 67 and I am 56! With 10 yr old triplets! You never think when you start out that life is going to throw things like this at you, it is hard isn`t it. My James sounds so like your son, he went to the hospital once and couldn`t hack it, then wouldn`t even speak to his Dad on the phone. When he came in from school yesterday he ran straight upstairs, wouldn`t say hello, poor little thing. Thomas is different he is very medically minded so is interested and just knows Dad is going to get better. Rebecca is a worrier, closest to him, but goes into nurse mode and fusses around him brilliantly, so all different. We are in Kent, where are you if you don`t mind me asking?
DH had ulcerative colitis for 20 some years and 5 years ago had is colon removed which resulted in an ileostomy, had an internal pouch formed and then after six months he was reconnected inside.
DH does a lot for the IA, he also attended a visitors course which enables him to speak to patients and relatives that have concerns.
Believe me - what DH does not know about toilet habits is not worth talking about .
If you need any help or info - please just ask or CAT me.
I always call the IA the other woman in DH's life!
Mashed potato and rice help to thicken as do bananas, stewed apple is also supposed to be good.
It will take time for his output to settle down believe me. We had a fair few accidents with DH's bag - especially in the middle of the night when he had found he had leaked. I remember once he was mowing the garden and his bag came off, he literally had to get into the shower fully clothed as he was in a right mess. The way we got through it was laughing about it and trying to see the funny side.
More importantly, how are you feeling? I think we tend to get overlooked, sometimes we need support as well.
Hello Bellavita, so good to get all this info when everything is so new, I think we are still in shock really, its not sunk in. Oh must fly Dh is up and sounds not good.
I am so pleased that you ladies can help Triplets. I can help her with the sense of humour (bordering on manic) I can usually make her laugh at the very worst of times.
So pleased that there are families that are ahead of Trips in her journey so she can get support from people who know what they are talking about.
Now can any of you help me in my quest to make Mr Robbie Williams my boyfriend??? No...oh well thats another thread in itself
Good to see you and Harry getting loads of informative support on here triplets I can't really help except to say am thinking of you all, and sending you love XXX
Triplets..My dh was fortunate that his tumour was caught early so it hadn't spread and he had no secondaries. After repeatedly asking me if I thought there was blood in his poo I am ashamed to say I blew my top and told him that if he showed me his poo one more time without going to dr I would strangle him...He went thank goodness. He was referred for a colonoscopy followed by a ct and mri scan which confirmed the tumour (we have even seen a photo of the little b**) He had a 7 day course of radiotherapy followed by surgery 2 weeks later. The tumour was confined to the bowel...just.. so he didn't need chemo. The tumour was very close to his rectum so there had been the possibility that they wouldn't be able to rejoin his bowel and he would have had a permanent colostomy. Fortunately this was not the case. It is now 2 years since the tumour was removed and he has just had his 2nd clear scan. The only blot on the horizon at the moment is he has two hernias either side of the incision scar on his tummy. These will need to be repaired but his surgeon wants to wait until next year when he will be 3 years post surgery and the chance of recurrance will be much less. So he has to wear a supportive belt and is excused from any heavy lifting which he tells me includes the hoover, law mower, hedge trimmers etc.!!!!!
I'm hoping that your dh's treatment goes well and that your whole family will come through this. Don't forget you too. This is tough on the partner as well as the patient. One of the nicest things for me was when dh's work collegues turned up with a big bunch of flowers for me, flowers for mil, and easter eggs for the dcs
shouldbe - DH also had a hernia to the side of the scar to his first op. He had it fixed, but it is only literally now being held in just by the gauze.
I have told him to go and get it redone - but tbh he has been through so much, he would rather put up with it than have another hospital visit.
Surgeon told my dh that if he was older they might not have repaired the hernias but because he is only in his 40s they will. He was told about 2 ways of them being repaired which I now can't remember the difference but how was your dh's done? I can see why he's not keen on further surgery....my dh now has a complete aversion to hospitals which is why he wasn't keen on me having sterilisation op. I think he was secretly relieved when surgeon wanted to wait.
Hey thats so spooky - DH does not want a vasectomy for that very reason and it has taken a bit of persuading for me to be sterilised. I have just got my referral appointment through for the 5th June.
Hi, Going mad here, Dh is asleep and the two boys are still talking up there, never a minutes peace, thank god for Rebecca. Gp came out at lunchtime and thinks he is doing ok, but left him a prescription for more anti sickness pills and Resolve drinks as he can`t eat. He looks so fed up, wish I could do something for him,
I had an extra shift at work last night, but DH had MN up on this thread in case you came back so he could talk to you, but when I came in at midnight he was fast asleep on the settee and laptop was closed down, so he missed your last post.
I know he feels sick, but is this because maybe he could be hungry, but is a little frightened to eat because he wonders what it is going to be like coming through the stoma into the bag and until he does eat, it will be liquid?
I wont be on much during today as DS1 has hospital appointment after breaking his arm last week and then I have got to go to work. Will be back on around 4.00pm.
Hi, My first chance to get on here and can hardly keep my eyes open, two boys still talking and Harry fast asleep. Got the prescription for him today, he has slept on and off for most of the day, still says he is feeling sick, but he hasn`t been since Mon morning. I made some homemade chicken soup, with a little bit of tiny pasta in it, no veg and was pleased to see him have a tiny bowl tonight and said he could taste it and seemed to enjoy something hot. The stoma nurse is coming in the morning to see him, hoping that will reassure him a bit. As you say it is going to take time, so glad of your support as this is all so new to me!
My Dh took about 4 weeks to really get his appetite back..and he lost about 2 1/2 stone in that time. Soups were good and dh found rice based meals easier too. Glad he's managed to eat a little today and I hope everything goes ok with the nurse tomorrow.
Perhaps you could ask the Stoma Nurse about your local IA Support Group.
DH is the treasurer of the York IA, when he has quarterly meetings with other committee members of the IA, they try and do the meeting in different parts of the country each time so that they can coincide it with a night out with the local members (and some not so local).
As I said to you earlier, we are always happy to help.
Thanks Bellavista, What might be nice is if when your Dh has time he could perhaps send Harry an e-mail, I think he would respond to that, male to male. harry_peace@hotmail.com Harry has never been one for lots of male friends, he is very private really and not a great talker, unlike me!
Hi Oj, Thank you Oj, thinking of me when you have sooooooooo much to do and think about! Wonder woman!! I am frazzled tonight, long story, long day! Stoma nurse came this morning and spent an hour, she was lovely and we learnt alot, she`ll come back next week. Had the inlaws from London to visit, they stayed 6 hours, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, left without a single thank you for entertaining and feeding them all day! Family eh Oj? Kids played me up all night, only just gone to sleep, Becca almost had the house on fire making some toast, grrrr! H looks alittle better, managed to get him to eat a tiny bit of food, the nurse said he really must, even if its only a couple of mouthfus every two hours. Because of the inlaws he didn`t get enough rest today, so is fast asleep now, in fact asleep since 9.30pm, which is where I should be too! Hope you are ok, love to you all xxx
I remember when DH came out of hospital when he had stoma done and his Mum was here - supposedly to give me support and help out with her son and grandsons. She did nothing to help. She was waited on hand and foot whilst I did the then nursery run, worked - worked evenings so boys were in bed before I went out, looked after DH.
She was sleeping in our spare room with a double bed. My parents were coming to stay (thank good) and she was insisting on still staying - hello - where did she think my parents were going to sleep? In the end, I had to ring one of DH's sisters to come and get her so she could say to her Mum it was time to go.
Sorry DH if you have read this - but I think you probably know anyway how I felt.
Hi Bellavita.............Its not been a good day here, Sat, kids home, phone ringing and more visitors, all unexpected. Its very sweet of people to want to come to see him, but its too much for him. He is still not wanting to eat, has had very little food today, 4 tiny new potatoes with butter and melted cheese, thats all. Also been trying to do things he shouldn`t so has got stroppy with me, just things like picking up a round garden table!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kids have been a real handful, I am finding it hard not to snap, and this is just the beginning. He hasn`t been on here for a couple of days, so I will make sure he does in the morning, its very sweet of your DH to mail him, its just the support he needs atm, so please thank him for me. xxx
DH said H needs to keep an eye on his fluids as this is probably why he feels sick - dehidrating. H needs to eat little and often even if it is just a bag of crisps. Jelly is another good food to eat whether it is in cube form or made up with water as it helps thicken.
It is all about trying different foods and finding what helps.
Just read your post out to DH - with the bit about the table and he said straight away "sounds familiar".
It was three weeks after DH's op (xmas day) before he felt normal, or as near to it.
Think you are going to have to ignore the kids being a handful (do you think it seems they are being more than a handful because DH not well?) and just concentrate on getting him better. Yes it is the beginning, but a new one.
Hi, Today has been a nightmare. Bellavita H rec`d your DH mail and I believe has replied, he isn`t normaly into things like that, but then everything isn`t normal!H e hs been sooooooooooo stroppy today, will not eat, does not drink enough and is telling me he will eat and drink when he feels like it. This morning he had asked a friend to take him down to his allotment, just to have a look at it, get some air for 10 mins, in the end he didn`t go because he went to wash and sort himself out and he was too shaky to shave, shouted at me to phone Rosie and he went back to bed, 10am -1pm. Got up, looked dreadful, I offered him a drink, your DH had said Lucozade Sports were good, got him some, no he didn`t want a drink, food? 17 hours without any, no! So I said I was abit cross, he wasn`t sick, felt it yes, but he must eat a tiny amount every couple of hours, so he went back to bed for another three hours! Kids get told off for turning the back garden into an air raid shelter(school w/end homework)so I took them off for an ice cream, then to the park, called at the local garden centre and bought him some plants to cheer him up!Got home at 4.45pm nd he was just getting up. Would have nothing to eat or drink, I was making our usual Sunday roast which he normaly has two plates of, at 6pm he pours himself a gin and tonic! So I called the kids at 6.30pm for supper and then he actually sat with us and had a very small roast dinner, but it was food and I was so pleased! Then we all watched telly for a bit, then he started to getstroppy with me again and I am afraid I couldn`t hack it, started having palpatations, suffered with then since Matthew died, so I left them all watching Raiders of the lost Ark, went into the kitchen, downed a tumbler of Tio Pepe, then left them and went next but one to my neighbour and drank half a bottle of red wine!!!Got back at 10pm, boys in bed, one asleep and Becs helping her Dad, all in bed now fast asleep. I feel so bad snapping at him today, but this is soooooo hard on me too, especially with three 10 yr olds!
Trips - you may think I am being a bit cold and callous here, but H sounds just as bloody stubborn as my DH - stop asking him if he is ok, what he wants, how he is (for a while anyway) and let him get on with it in his own way. If you don't, then you are going to run yourself into the ground worrying - believe me been there, done that - no point. Just put the food on the plate and leave it at that.
If he wants to go 17 hours without food then so be it.
I wish I knew you in rl and lived near each other.
Hi Bellavita, thats exactly what I feel like doing, he has been so horrible to us today, and I know he is feeling awful but I am so desperately trying to help.By 8pm I couldn`t hack it, started getting palpatations, and drank a tumbler of Tio Pepe then went next but one with a bottle of red! Came back at 10pm and he was ok, now I feel guilty for snapping at him, he is the one who has cancer but it is sooooooooo hard for me and the kids.
He probably desperately wants things back as they were before he became ill. No man likes to be dependent on their wife, it hurts their pride too much so their way of coping is to be bloody horrible even if it means upsetting you along the way.
Yes, I know it will..............nothing stays the same, losing Matthew 14years ago told me that, I feel soooo angry about it all, 14 years to get from there to here, kids only have 1 more year at primary school, life should be getting abit easier, now all of this! Its very hard on them , they keep me going, bless them.
Triplets...Your Dh sounds so like mine. My Dh was in hospital for 4 weeks after his op because his fluid balance was all over the place and he had a drip to prevent dehydration. I remember him getting very stroppy with me and telling me not to nag. All I was doing was trying to encourage him to eat/drink something. He actually said that he felt that he deserved sympathy and not nagging and not to bother going to see him if I was going to nag. I left the ward that day in tears. But quite honestly he was feeling sorry enough for himself with out me adding any more pity. I think my dh got caught in a trap of not wanting to eat because he felt so c**p but feeling c**p because he wasn't eating. And also being scared to eat because of the effect food might have on his stoma. Full on vicious circle. I happened to notice that dh was in particularly bad pain after a certain injection they were giving him. I mentioned this to one of the nurses and asked about side effects of medication. She dismissed this but I wasn't convinced so went home to look up medication's side effects. Of the listed side effects Dh had all but 2 of them.Also having looked up what it was prescribed for couldn't really see why he was on it. (neither could dh's uncle who is a consultant although not gastro) I went back to ward and saw a different nurse who agreed to review his meds with dr. They agreed to stop medication and, maybe coincidentally, Dh improved from that day. From my point of view it felt good to be doing something constructive to help. I've never been one of life's natural nurses and find an unwillingness to help oneself very frustrating. Dh seemed to be wallowing in selfpity and I also had his mum seemingly encouraging him to feel sory for himself with the whole "poor you "bit which I felt Dh really didn't need. Try what bella suggests and just be there if he needs you. But it's good that you've had a break away...hope the tio pepe/ red wine combo doesn't have any bad results....would cause a killer migraine for me!!!!! Off to bed now but goodnight and here's hoping tomorrow is better
DH just reminded me about the food situation when he came out of hospital. I got all upset the first few days - that I had gone to the trouble of cooking and it was not eaten.
So I just went to M&S, bought a load of ready meals (which we never buy, I cook from scratch) and then he could have a look at what he might fancy, so very little effort on your part but he has had something which hopefully he will enjoy. I also bought lots of snacky things aswell that he could pick at.
I also got some really nice ice lollies in for him to suck on.
You have had a lot to cope with and I honestly could not imagine how it would be to lose a child.
No, I am licky that I never get side efffects, I don`t normally drink ,go weeks witout a glass of anything, but was soooooooooooooo wound up tonight, that it helped and I willsleep. Sleep........with one ear on the trio and one ear on the patient and tinnitus ringing loudly as well!! See, I am feeling better already
Its hell, 14years of hell, 14 years of pain and tears and missing him. T othis day we have no medical explanation why he died that morning, such a wonderful, special boy, how I miss him.
We must go to bed, I have two weeks to read my book club book, all my fellow friends are single professional girls who do not have children, they pick a book, 4" thick and say meet in two weeks,aghhhhhhhh! I do love reading, but this book is sooooooooooo boring! Thank you Bellavita and your Dh, just for being there, you don`t know how much it has helped me, esp today. xxx
Hi Bellavita, H is off today to have the clips out, they have been annoying him the last couple of days! Please thank John for me, his messages have been such a help to Harry, Harry isn`t one for ever sending e-mails so this is a first! He was much better yesterday, has started to eat more regularly, tiny amounts, but its progress. We had words on Sat, he was really overdoing it, trying to do little jobs, like lifting sacks of rubbish etc! He wouldn`t eat, so I ended up storming off with the kids, think though it kicked started him into action, he made more effort yesterday. My worry atm is alcohol. Before all this he in my book drank too much, 3 large G&T`s or whisky`s every night plus 2 large glasses of red wine. He then of course had to go without whilst in hospital, but within three days of coming home has started having a drink a night, only one at atm but I know him so well, it will creep up if I am not careful. I am soooooooooo worried about his liver, but he just thinks I am being a nag. What to do? This morning I have written a shopping list, he has added ginger wine to it, which meand he wants a whisky, if it was going to be one I wouldn`t mind, but I know as he feels better it will increase. I voiced my worries over this to the stoma nurse in the hospital and she said she would have a discreet word with him, whether she did or not I don`t know. I would be glad of your advice!
On the doing jobs side, I think you are going to have to let H decide on what he can and can't do I'm afraid. His body will tell him when to stop.
DH was off work for about six weeks but he went back two weeks before his sicknote ended - so I know how you feel, they are just so stubborn. He does a 70 mile round trip to work and has a desk job but he was absolutely buggered for the first month (although he would not admit it in so many words).
DH will have a look at what you have written when he comes home from work. I tried to copy and paste it onto messenger but when I rang him he informed me that he had a new machine (works in IT) and had only just set it up so had not received my message.
H will probably feel a lot better now he has had the clips out.
I am at work tonight, so if I come on this thread, it will be DH under my name - he will probably say this though.
Hi Bellavita, thanks for that, you are right, I think it is no good me saying anything despite the fact I am worried and scared about all this. I think if there were not secondaries I certainly wouldn`t be so concerned, but its his liver I am so worried about. A friend of mine who is a nurse, married to a doctor has just said basically to leave him to it, its his body and he will feel the side effects! Harry would go mad if he knew I was discussing this! The alcohol issue I mean!
There are two things you need to be aware of with regard to alcohol. Firstly it is likely to increase the output into his bag and necessitate more frequent emptying, this is often enough to stop people overdoing it. Things like red wine can make it look like blood too so you should be aware of that too. The other issue is alcohol is a diuretic and as ileostomists live on the edge of dehydration most of the time, too much booze can have a bad effect, this usually manifests itself as the hangover from hell (speaking from experience here ). Having a drink will probably help him feel normal, this is as important as any other concerns at the moment so don't worry too much about it. (Bellavita's other/better half)
Thank you...............so should I just leave it and let him find out for himself? I just am so worried about what the consultant is going to say about the liver when we see him, esp after seeing it in surgery.
I think you have to let him find his own way. Getting on and doing the things he used to before the surgery is all part of the journey back to normality and despite everybody's best efforts that is usually a journey we take alone. I sometimes think the recovery from this surgery is harder for the patient's loved ones than it is for the patient, all you can really do is be there when you're needed. The fact he is enjoying a drink again is probably a good sign, I certainly didn't fancy one at the start. Try not to worry so much he sounds to be doing fine to me.
Will take your very good advice, thank you. So not looking forward to this new journey we are on, we have just spent 14 years struggling to get where we are today, then bang......so unfair, but then life is, as we know already.
Just peeped at your profile, we love Florida and that our goal for next year! We took our trio in 2005 and 2006, Disney and Anna Maria Island, it was heaven. Last Aug we did a road trip thru Cali/Arizona and Nevada for 4 weeks, it was fantastic!
Just having a cup of tea before I go to bed - can not go to bed straight away after working.
Hope DH put your mind at rest earlier.
Many years ago, DH and I did California. Landed in San Fransisco spent a week there and then drove down to LA. We had a great time.
The boys want to do California next year, but I think it just maybe Europe. We had two nice holidays last year, a long weekend in London and a long weekend (DH & me) in Nice, so might have to cut back a little and then maybe do something big 2010.
Bellavita .....sorry to kind of hijack this for a bit, just wondered if I could ask your Dh a question. Since my Dh has had his ileostomy reversed he seems to suffer from all the symptoms of IBS. I have a friend with IBS and her symptoms are very similar to those of my Dh. These were at their worst in the 6-9 months after his reversal and, although they have got better in recent months, they are still causing him problems. Is this common after bowel surgery?
IBS is one of those odd things, it is generally diagnosed when everything else has been ruled out, it is a functional disorder there is no inflammation or infection involved. It is no more common after ileostomy surgery than in the general population however a lot of things that happen in the recovery are typical IBS symptoms.
Sorry, did not realise there was more - here it is -
Bloating and cramping are common, a bacterial imbalance in the bowel can easily cause bloating and adhesions which form after any abdominal surgery can cause caramping and pain. If this is an on-going problem you can speak to your Dr there are a number of things than be given to help these days.
Thanks very much. Please thank your Dh. I will make an appointment for gp, but as he has been better in last couple of months, I think your Dh may be right and it could be part of recovery process. Thanks once again.
Hi Bellavita, In a rush, tried to send you a long message last night but something must have been wrong with MN it kept saying error. H very much improved, awake all day, eating very well, got an appt to see the consultant on the 19th, fingers x`d!
Hi Bellavita, Was going to go up early tonight as I am running out f time to finish my book club book, been waiting for Rebecca to come home from a party! Harry went up before me, so no loght, can`t read, am hopeless at trying to read downstairs! Well H is looking very well, in fact I think though he is over doing it, he has been to his allotment tow days running, for 3-4 hours, tells me he is only doing some light weeding! Its only just over two weeks since surgery, but you can`t tell him! He is eating much better now, three small meals a day, small snack in between, but not enough water, well.......thats what I say! He seems to be coping with the stoma ok, its me that has a problem with it, I have to be truthful here, I can`t sleep as I feel I am going to touch it, it rustles in the night and makes odd noises, it isn`t something you can just get used to is it? He had a letter yesterday to go back to see the consultant on the 19th to discuss where we go from here, I almost dread it. Now he is over the worst of the surgery, life is beginning to feel "normal" again, then I have to remind myself its cancer, its so odd, scary, yet still unreal, if that makes any sense? We`ll see. Better go to bed, needs must! Thank you for keeping in touch, such a comfort. xx
By the way - it is not more water to drink he needs (he will get enough through his food) it is the Lucozade Sports Energy Drinks or any other sports drinks if he is feeling dehydrated. The water will make him feel worse.
The rustling and noises never bothered me tbh, it is not something I was really aware of.
I will admit though that DH and I did not do cuddles, kisses or anything else in bed (or do anything anywhere for that matter) whilst he had his stoma only because I was afraid of hurting him or squashing it.
Obviously if this had been a permanent thing then we would have had to get over that hurdle.
well, I suppose it is a very good start.
). Having a drink will probably help him feel normal, this is as important as any other concerns at the moment so don't worry too much about it. (Bellavita's other/better half) 
