Could be worse, mwahahaha - it could have a gold tiger embellishment and sequins and gold chains.

my MIL always buys me a nightie (sometimes with a matching dressing gown) for birthdays and Christmas, some of them have been truly hideous and usually a couple of sizes too big as well

oh, and unsuitable tops. i am a size 8, with fair colouring and a tendancy towards hippy.
She buys me T-shirts in a cheerful cerise, in a size 14, with a gold tiger embellishment. And sequins.
Or gold chains.

my MIL buys me countless jars of chutney. From every Deli in the northern hemisphere i have a jar. She has obviously asked the staff what the most bizarre flavour they have in stock is. Like Fig and celery. Or Fennel, pinapple and anchovie.
They all are uniformly muddy-brown in colour. With Lumps of Thing. Like a jam jar filled with pureed snails, cauliflour and raisins.

Tea towels, even though I am a grown up and have been married for 22 years, she thinks I can never have enough... I have two drawers full!

Bottles of Baileys, must think I have a drink problem like it!

<< goes off in search of ice >>

FIL often buys DH wildly uninteresting DVDs etc for his birthday or Christmas (a CD of light operatic duets, for a Kasabian and mash-up loving surf dude?? strange choice!). They're never in any cellophane, which always made me suspect they were 'pre-loved' (FIL owns approximately £1.5m worth of property, he ain't exactly on the breadline).
Proof came when I decided to read on of the books FIL had given, realised it was not only pre-read but that's he'd CORRECTED THE GRAMMAR, IN BIRO! I ask you.

Big dangly Pat Butcher-type earrings... I haven't worn any earrings for about 15 years and never wore huge earrings - I just don't understand

Also, she buys me clothes that are too small when I'm big but then clothes that are too big when I've lost weight. I'd rather she just gave me a Debs voucher but there you go...

Mine buys me soup, ahh well at least I will never starve

Ampere that's very funny indeed! I laughed out loud.

My IL's used to visit the wholesale fruit'n'veg market then drop by at ours on the way home to 'share in their good fortune', leaving us with 15 cabbages, 7 wood-hard pumpkins and 5 BOXES of tart oranges. In a small flat. Thanks, guys!

Actually, I think the 'worst' thing MIL bought was one Xmas. DP (as he was then) and I were utterly obligated to go up to their rural, tedious, hot as hell (Australian) property EVERY Xmas for the ENTIRE DURATION of our hols. DP's (slightly odd) bro lived there too, 8 yrs older than DP and very much a bachelor who doted on his mum. And I mean, doted.

One year, MIL basically bought us all uniform! All 3 of us were issued with IDENTICAL unisex shorts and T shirt sets, me as 30 year old woman! DP's bro scrambled to put his on, DP slightly grudgingly put HIS on, but I more or less refused, saying Oh, very kind but maybe later. She was having none of it. I was to realise that I was to become one of HER family thus would wear what SHE dictated! Simple as!

So now DH and I live in the UK