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I found the thread in site stuff interesting about being a SAHM. wondered it we could talk about it a bit more on here. I have't "worked" since dd was born.every time I have thought of getting a p/t job a letter pops through the door with an appointment on it. or dd is poorly. we have no support from family or freinds. so how do people go to work.
ah 2shoes no chance of work here and i have stopped expecting to return tbh. But that isn't an issue for us financially and i am happy to be at home now. I am not sure how I would have held down a job tbh - not sure it would have been possible for me although I am sure some find a way. It must be terribly hard to not be able to get back to work if you wish to . But for my DS he couldn't tolerate childcare even if I could find it. ho hum
Odd you should mention this! I had a real pang of sadness this morning for the life that is forever gone! And in return I think my brain has turned to mush! Frankly I only manage a little work and that because dh has one day a week where he is 'on DS call' and works shorter hours. He tries to avoid all business trips on that day and when he cant avoid it I use a mixture of Ds to the next door neighbour (dog walking) for 20 minutes to wait for the taxi and leaving work early!. In return I try to fill in extra days when they are short staffed when dh is not away. I have tried to do more - but it is very difficult to find things with the flexibility. As you may have noticed I am not a natural at writing or computor skills!
same here. People (other mums) ask me all the time 'so, do you think you'll go back to work then?'
Then I describe them my typical week with the therapies, meetings and appointments, and the letters and e-mails and what not, and sometimes they get the picture, sometimes not.
I used to miss my other life, but I would not want anyone else to do what I am doing. There is no nanny in the world I could delegate this to. Maybe when DS and his siblings are older, but not for the foreseeable future.
well, I was a sahm for 12 years before dd came along but its like the choice has gone now. dd is too severly disabled for anyone else to care for her. When she starts school DH will go back to work school hours only and 14 weeks a year off for holidays. Which will keep us poor for all eternity. I do worry about money though as we are barely managing as it is. Had a weep about the whole lost life and money the other day
I returned to work and for me I think I had to too retain my sanity. Im very lucky in that we have two very supportive sets of grandparents who are tripping over themselves to look after ds. It works out very well for us.
I work 4 days a week and the one day I dont is when we have out ot/physio/SALT appointments. I also have an extrmely understanding boss who gives me time off for the appiontments that cant be fitted onto my day off!
im working part time now. i work monday to friday and start at 12.30 so i try and arrange all our appointments/portage etc for as early as possible. my colleagues are very supportive now so thats a help. i had to leave my last job because they gave me no lea way at all. my inlaws look after ds while dh and i are at work. never thought id be happy to have them live so close by
Another SAHM here - DS2 is part time home educated and it takes much of my time to coordinate his ABA programme. We're very lucky that we can live on DH's salary, but it's slowly draining us financially. Things would be so much easier if I could go back to work (and I think it would be better for me tbh) but it's impossible atm. I haven't even got time for basic things like sorting out the washing as it is (though manage to squeeze in Mn time ).
I worked part-time once DS had gone to school but it was really fulltime with all the appts etc. We have no family support but juggled and managed. You should look at Carers UK because I believe that it is law now that Carers HAVE to be supported to return to work, study etc. In practical terms who knows what that would mean but always worth knowing your rights. You would lose Carers' Allowance of course.
I work part time, but mainly evenings and weekends, so DH can look after the DCs. I can self roster my shifts so am able to keep myself free for important appointments.
I had to go back to work after my ds was born because I had taken the extra maternity pay you got if returning to work and I couldn't afford to pay it back. I found it extremely hard to organise childcare and I did the minimum time....3 months...and only 3 days a week.I also took an awful lot of time off sick. My immediate boss was very understanding unlike the Health Authority I worked for who didn't consider having a ds with sn an exceptional enough circumstance for me not to honour my maternity pay agreement. I now work part time, evenings mainly, when dh is home for dcs. I enjoy the break and it does keep me sane. The little extra money does come in handy too and because I earn less than £95 per week it doesn't affect carers allowance either.
It's really hard. I work from home as a freelance journalist but don't do enough work to make much difference financially. DH is a teacher but has only been qualified 2 years and we have whopper debts so all the earnings just get swallowed. We have no useful relatives to help with childcare. DD goes to nursery 6hrs a week and by the time I've got home and --browsed mumsnet-- worked hard for a couple of hours it's time to walk back to collect her. Can't increase nursery hrs until she has a statement.
No chance of working, here. My DD, 4y5mo was so clingy as a baby that we felt it was easier to keep her at home with me than to put her into some sort of daycare and me more or less work to pay for the daycare :/
Now i'm pregnant with number two and have no intentions of working until number two is in school, and then i may pursue a change in careers / go back to uni or something.
I have a 40% contract, can work from home and have a sympathetic employer - and a DH with flexible hours too -and a part time SN nanny. So no, not an easy set of circumstances to magic up. I am very conscious of how fortunate I am.
I am working at the moment but finish in July (it was a temporary contract, only 11 hours a week).
I managed it because of after school club for DD1, brilliant pre-school plus wrap around care for DD2 (SN) and fantastic nursery on same site as DD2s preschool for DD3.
BUT DH is Navy so away a lot, no family to help and DD2 starts school in September so no chance of me working after then. Childcare for DD2 is difficult (I wouldn't feel happy leaving her with a childminder) and childcare for 3 in the holidays is impossible and expensive. So even though I earn a fairly good hourly rate for what I do working is going to be very very difficult for as long as I can see. I have studied and trained for years to get where I am and may lose it all as I can't realistically work in my field now.
It is very difficult. We also have no local support from family. I'm always wishing I could give up but financially it's not an option...
Once dd2 started school, I've worked school hours 4 days a week, work are good and allow me to switch round days to fit in appointments etc. They also let me work from home but I can't do this while the children are awake, so it means either v early in morning or late at night, so not ideal. In the school holidays, I've found a holiday club that provides 1:1 care funded by SureStart and I also work more from home then. The most annoying things are the Teacher Training days - I have 2 children at 2 different schools so have to cater for 10 of these days a year on top of the school holidays, and there's no childcare available.
I've been working Sundays 7-3 for the last 6months as a paid carer. It pays about £40 a week, no tax and no childcare costs as DH is home. It's a bit of pocket money, just enough to qualify for maternity allowance too very soon. It might seem like a busman's holiday but it's respite for me, I alternate between driving around clients by myself and working in tandem with another carer for those that need to be moved.
Davros, thats really interesting what you say about it being law to support carers backl into study....When I started my degree 2 years ago I didnt even qualify for a nchildcare grant so my [part time job paid for dds and ds1s childcare whilst i went to uni. I dont really have that luxury anymore as my part time job pays for my third unexpected child I have put off going back to uni for another year as I know I will be completely stressed out and broke but I will get in touch with carersuk to find out more, thanks.
But getting back to the original question I only work 8 hrs p/w basic and do weekends so dh can have the kids. I then do some overtime/evenings/bank holidays to get a bit extra. This all means I can still claim carers allowance aswell. I work to keep myself sane a bit too. I dont really like the line of work i do but it means I can switch off from home for a few hours. It has increased my non existent social life aswell in that I get invited out by the women at work, and I go!
We have no family support either as they live 200 miles away and all my friends have children with sn too or just couldnt cope with dd for whatever reason
Fio, it may not be law but I think it is a pretty strong requirement and possibly law...... Carers UK would definitely know more, look at website (obv!).
I am a SAHM. We are OK, which I recognise is incredibly fortunate for us. I would love to work though. I can't at the moment as DS2 has been having at least 3 appointments every week since September. I don't know of any organisation that would put up with all the time off that would mean. I did work full-time with very long hours for a few months after DS1 turned 1, then I went down to 3 days a week for a couple of months before I found out I was pregnant with DS2. It was harder than working full-time because I felt I wasn't doing the right thing by anyone - DS1, DH, the house, my work, even me!
I need to do something else though. I spend all my time with DS2, and I know I need a break in some form or other. But I know that we have it very good compared to a lot of other people....Oh we have no family in the country and I am getting more and more isolated.
"Social care system is failing four million working age carers 10 October 2007 Care services are failing Britain’s four million working age carers, making it harder or even impossible for them to hold down a job, according to one of the largest in-depth surveys of carers commissioned by Carers UK.
Over 40 per cent of those caring full time and not in work say that they cannot return to employment because of the lack of services available.
Carers UK’s Chief Executive, Imelda Redmond, wants to see a radical overhaul to avoid a demographic and economic disaster.
“We now have the most detailed evidence to date of the issues facing working carers which can inform a more planned approach for the future”, she says. “The Comprehensive Spending Review provides us with an opportunity to set this out and get it right.
“It is clear that current systems do not support carers at key stages of their lives and this latest in-depth analysis shows that care services are systematically failing working carers. Carers have reasonable expectations to a life beyond their caring role and we should be fulfilling them.”
The research is led by Professor Sue Yeandle from the University of Leeds who has compiled six major reports on working age carers, four of which are published today (Wednesday 10 October 2007) by Carers UK.
The four reports provide the responses of nearly 2,000 carers – one of the largest surveys every carried out. They cover:
Stages and transitions in the experience of caring Managing caring and employment Diversity in caring: towards equality for carers Carers, employment and services in their local context They also reveal a new dilemma. Over four in ten (42%) of those new to caring say that the person for whom they care is reluctant to use care services, for whatever reason, leaving many carers unable to access any support for themselves, and making their working lives even harder.
Key points show:
The majority of working carers say they need at least one type of formal service which they are not currently receiving One third of carers in full or part-time work are struggling financially Very few working carers are getting breaks, and less than a quarter have access to respite care services Only a quarter of working carers feel they have adequate support from formal services to enable them to combine work and care Between 40 and 50 per cent of working carers say that a lack of flexibility and sensitivity in the delivery of services is hampering them Almost half of those working part-time say that they are only in work of this type because of their caring responsibilities Carers UK wants to see:
A complete overhaul of the way that social care is provided, with a much stronger focus on supporting carers to remain in or return to work Significant investment in social care, including stimulation of the care market through the creation of employers supported ‘care vouchers’ New legislation to make it illegal to discriminate against carers - in the same way that it is for disabled people. A full scale review of carers’ benefits; and the exploration of tax breaks and tax credits to help carers avoid poverty and remain in employment. A social contract for carers which makes it clear what the state, employers, and others will provide and what individuals have to contribute. “Caring needs to be looked at in its own right rather than a ‘bolted-on’ issue”, concludes Imelda Redmond. “All too often they slip through the net – whether it is finding the right information, getting financial support, accessing local authority services or looking after their own health needs. It is time that a cohesive plan is put in place on how social care is provided and planned for in the future.”
- ends -
Kate Groucutt T. 020 7566 7616 email: kate.groucutt@carersuk.org. or Patricia Orr. T. 020 7592 1980 M. 07889 140139 email: pat@thirdsectorpr.co.uk
Notes to Editors
1. The reports are available to download at www.carersuk.org/Policyandpractice/PolicyResources/Research. To order copies e-mail: publications@carersuk.org or telephone: 0845 241 0963.
2. Carers UK is the leading campaigning, policy and information organisation of and for carers. Carers UK continues to make a difference to carers' lives by: campaigning for a better deal for carers; informing carers of their rights and what help is available; training and advising professionals who work with carers; working across the UK through its membership and networks of branches and affiliates. For more information, visit www.carersuk.org or for advice on your caring situation call CarersLine on T. 0808 808 7777.
3. This work is part of a series of research reports published as part of the Action for Carers and Employment (ACE) National - a development partnership led by Carers UK and funded by the European Social Fund’s Equal programme. This work aims to raise awareness of the barriers facing carers who wish to work, and tests and promotes ways of supporting them. Visit www.acecarers.org.uk"
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so my [part time job paid for dds and ds1s childcare whilst i went to uni. I dont really have that luxury anymore as my part time job pays for my third unexpected child
I have put off going back to uni for another year as I know I will be completely stressed out and broke but I will get in touch with carersuk to find out more, thanks.
