I have this fear that we are all out in the van as a family and are involved in an accident.
then god forbid dh, me and ds are rendered unconscious.
how would the emergency people deal with dd. how would they know what she was saying etc.
what do you do?

I sympathise with the fear - we all worry about our kids but sn adds an extra dimension.
How does dd communicate with you? Is there anything you could leave in the car to assist if this were to happen? Do emergency staff still look in handbags for information?

I have fears for ds (a train crash/ bomb where I work - whilst dh is away leaving ds alone etc). We have an additional need database card (which I carry with my bank cards etc) which links into a countywide database and careplans if such an emergency were to occur.
I used to carry a note about my child in my handbag/ glovebox with contact numbers which helped me feel better. There is also a list in the house above the phone. What do other people do?

I have this irrational fear of the car going into a river. We have a 7 seater and I worry about how we would get to the boys (4 & 5) to get them out of their car seats because they are in the back row. DD (7yrs) is in the middle row and I don't worry about her so much. Also the car has sliding rear doors with no windows that open (only drivers and passenger doors have windows that open) so how would we get them out of the car?
I know it's an irrational fear but I can't help it.

I worry about train crossings. I have a fear of getting stuck and not being able to get her out. of course there is one between here and her school.

I used to be not a hypochondriac at all but just recently I find myself convinced at least once a fortnight that I have got some dreadful terminal illness - I'm sure it's partly because of worrying about DS3 and who is going to look after him when we're gone.

oh i worry about ALL this stuff
even when i take the children down the beach I sit in sight of someone incase something happens to me and dd decides to chuck herself in the sea or something....

oh and sixspot I am terrible for that. I have even had imaginary lumps

'no dear thats your ankle' type thing.....(off dh thank goodness...)

oh god yes, I can drive myself crazy with this stuff given half a chance
honestly, sometimes I can barely bear being in a car together with dh because I keep imagining us perishing together, leaving the children orphaned.
Also have visions of just passing out whilst out shopping with dd2 (not very likely! Am fit & healthy AFAIK) , and what would happen to her then etc....

ohhh me too geekgirl!

ds3 has a laminated badge on his coat (keyring sorta thing) giving the fact he has sn, his name, and a contasct number

its not much but i feel better for it

i worry what would hapen if i fell at night as dh works then and my dodgy eyesight esp. poor at night. thnk its normal tbh

Oh that did happen to me! I fainted and hit my head when I was off colour. Ds actually was not concerned - he sleeps on the floor sometimes so I suppose it didn't look odd! It was the beginning of him sorting out his own wet PJs though!
Peachy that badge thing sounds useful! Did you buy it or is it from school?

I bought it from ebay actually

but you could do it yourself if you have a lamniator (and if you dont e-mail the design to me, or if you want it in colour post it- I don't have a colour printer- and I can do that for you.

The keyring bits are easy to get hold of or you could bastardise any old one really

Not morbid at all - just really good forward planning. A bit like insurance - you hope you'll never need it but are jolly glad you've got it when you do (IYSWIM)

When DD2 was little she was looked after by my best friend who was also her god-mother and a registered childminder.
She carried a card in her bag saying "My name is XXXXXXXXXXX I am a registered childminder caring for the child of Christie who can be contacted on 123 45678"

Here in bristol we can get a Carers card which explains I am a carer. Going to get a medic-alert bracelet for dd too - any idea which one as there seems to be several.

Oh, I am the same. I have no idea what would happen to dd1 if we were not around (and dd2, of course, but just seems more worrying with dd1 as don't think people would be able to explain anyhting to her).

e are in the process of trying to sort out who would (will?) be legal guardian for dd1 when we are not around.

We asked her godmother, who quite rightly asked for time to think about it. She has not come back t ous, so i guess that's a no. Obviously we don't want anyone to have care of dd1 if they cannot cope, but we are now back at square one. None of my close friends have children yet, so wouldn't ask them to take on a ready made family, let alone one with SN, and my brother would not cope with dd1 (has AS tendencies himself - anger management not one of his best attributes!)

I do feel awful about the fact that I don't worry about dd2 as much, but tbh, aside form the obvious loss of parents grief, she will be just fine. On the other hand, I am the only person who really understands what dd1 is saying half the time, and, more importantly, what she means by what she says. How is she going to make her needs and wants understood without me?

It's a real nightmare

I have no-one who can take care of dd. My mother is too frail, my in-laws wont have anything to do with her and say she would be better off dead
Am worried sick.

Its a similar story here - there is nobody (we know) who would be able to look after my ds if anything happened to us. What would become of him? Does anyone actually know? I guess the options are either foster carers, residential schools or group homes?

Oh god this is normal...for us SN parents.
If its any help if they know who she is i.e car registered in i.e dh name. Then able to check others i.e you ds and dd. It will come up eventually with dd disability.

I'm in same boat as riven. So I dont have a plan either....as their is no one. ds would go into care as any child sn or not. I just try to keep my fingers... not a great plan I know ut don't have any option.

I have had my 5 minutes cry on here about this type of thing....it's hard to 2shoes. We just have to take one day at a time sometimes and think of today only. Tomorrow nobody knows what will happen even in the most fantastic life with no problems....whatever the issues/factors etc,.

Mind you gets harder around PMT natually

i am lucky that atm my parents wouldtake them and my sisters help, but of course they are aging and both hit retirement age this year, we couldnt have mil take tghem, mot that she'd want to. one sister might but only if housing could be sorted- an additional issue caused by being a big family.

i do know that if they had to go into care, my family would see them daily even if they couldn't house them- a huge plus for us.

In the immediate short term I try to make sure dds communication passport (with info about her disability, how she communicates, medications and drs etc) is attached to her wheelchair so hopefully someone would see it.

Longerterm I have arrangements with family and friends for her future. Am lucky enough to have a friend who has all the skills necessary to care for her and who would be more than willing to give up work and step in.

i love your name 9years!

its 8 here and counting...

(don't give up hope we stopped at 12 and about 10 months)