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He is blissfully unaware that he is 'different', and I had no intentions of telling him otherwise just yet. The thing is it looks like he will be moving to a specialist AS school in September - so Im going to have a bit of explaining to do before then.
Im not really sure where to start or what to tell him. I don't want to break his little bubble, but I also can't ship him off to a special school (where he desperately needs to be) without an explanation.
Tell him sooner rather than later. If you think it will be difficult for him to handle now, imagine how it will be when the hormones take hold.
I used a book called Can I Tell You About Asperger Syndrome, and we also looked at Kenneth Hall's book Life, The Universe and Asperger Syndrome (he was 10 when he wrote it). There are different perspectives and experiences of AS in most of the books I've read so you're unlikely to find one that shows the condition exactly as your son experiences it, but Can I Tell You is written in such a way that the symptoms aren't compulsory, iykwim. It talks about 'some people' having sensory sensitivities, for example, which may not apply to everyone.
There are AS workbooks you can get too, to help your child work through his dx and come to terms with it. But I'd strongly advise letting him know, even if you think he's blissfully aware. He may well have uncertainties lurking. I feel we've made the best progress with my son by being upfront and honest with him. He can work on his diffiuclties because he knows and understands what they are. You can't fight a battle unless you know what it is.
I told ds1 (7) last year, sometime around his 7th birthday I think. It was a little easier for me because ds1 had already realised that he was different to other children and was beginning to get upset about things that he couldn't do etc.
I looked at the Kenneth Hall book with him and read through some of the bits that sounded just like ds1. It did wonders for his self-esteem.
Ds2 is 5yrs old and so far has no idea. We talk about AS/ASD fairly openly at home but it hasn't registered with him yet.
In your situation, with ds1 I would probably start with looking at the school website with him and then mention that it was for children with AS. The explanations would follow from there. Obviously that might not necessarily be the best approach for your ds though.
we have just told our ds who is 7.We werent going to say anythng yet either as he is happy at school and with his friends,but he had just been accepted on a saturday club for children with special needs so obviously we had to give him a reason for why he was going too.I gave him the All cats have aspergers book as he loves cats and it is a very quick easy read that explains it in a nut shell.He hasnt said anything about it but i know it is all going on in his head!I agree with coppertop and that looking at the school together and talking aout the other children who will be going would be a good start.I am pleased you have managed to get your ds to a special school.That can only be a good thing for all of you.Good luck!!
Hi my DS is now 8. I told him he had AS about a year ago and he was fine about it. He has a social skills session twice a week and also spends a couple of hours in a small group with the TSA doing extra literarcy. It was becoming obvious that he was getting extra help and being treated differently from the other kids so it was not a great surprise to him when I explained what his problem was. Obviously everyone's situation is different but we have found it very helpful to be up front about DS's condition and it helps him understand why he approaches things differently.
When we explained it to J he used to try that one as well, it went on for over a year. I kept on telling him "AS is a reason why it's hard, not an excuse for not doing it" and I don't cut him much slack. But then, I am a very cruel mum
We told ds as soon as we could after the definite diagnosis - he was 9 at the time. It really explained a lot of things for him and he hasn't looked back. He used to say things like "do I think that way because I have AS" and "they don't realise how important it is because they don't have AS". I wish I had known sooner and told him sooner, life would have been so much easier for him.
He never uses having AS as an excuse for behaviour - but now he is a teenager we find it hard to differentiate what is normal teenage behaviour and what is AS.
