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DS1s head told me a year or so ago that he was exceptional - and she didn't mean it in a positive way! It was said in the context of a conversation regarding his behaviour (he's 9 with AS).
I would be livid if a teacher said to my DS what she has said to your DD! You most defintely need to say something. If you are happy with the teacher otherwise I would speak her rather than the head.
Yes she said to to my child and when I spoke to her yesterday was extremely rude to me. I cried solidly for 2 hours I have a meeting at 9 with the head, dh is coming with me thankfully! Why can't people get invisible disabilities ffs 2 years ago I was called in for her lack of eye contact and inappropriate behaviour.
Ilovehousemusic Hi. I'm not supprised you are upset! It is truely horrible when this sort of thing happens to our kids. Sounds like the teacher rather lost it (!!)and critised the child not the behaviour. Not Good! I'm sure your dd has some lovely qualities that the teacher may need to notice extra carefully! Hope your meeting goes well.
I've lost track of how many times we've been through this with teachers and our own son, too. Just so rude, so ignorant of teachers. Really hoping you get some good news from the head. Sounds like they need better training in how to handle things, or better support for your daughter in the classroom.
Remember also that if they discipline your child without due regard for their disablities (ie treat them as a "normal" child without making allowance for their SEN) they could be going contrary to the Disability Discrimination Act. One to keep in your back pocket, as clearly it escalates things!
Sorry meeting did not seem to go well. It is so dispiriting when schools do not understand. Hope you are OK? Do school get input from an autism outreach service that could help them understand how to motivate and reward dd? Self esteem is so important.
magso ~ tbh dh and i both feel so low after the whole thing. i am stunned that the teacher in question was allowed to get away with it and when i mentioned dd's sn it was brushed to one side. she is in a unit for sn so you would think they would be more understandable. there was just no point in arguing and i knew whatever we said they had an answer for. all very well rehearsed and it was my events v 3 other teachers there at the time
I've been through this too. Can you get them to write down specifically what exactly she did that was so bad, and deal with one thing at a time, rather than just giving you an overall "she is awful". Then if they have to give you specifics, they have also to come up with specific strategies for those behaviours. The onus is on them to deal with her in such a way that she behaves well, it is not up to you to make her behave properly when she is in school.
For what it is worth, when my ds was going through worst time in school I made the concious decision to STOP punishing at home for what happened in school, and NOT to spoil my time with him (which was difficult enough) by bringing up things which happened somewhere else. The result for me was that rows at home more or less stopped, and my relationship with him improved no end.
How she behaves in school is THEIR problem not yours. If she continues to misbehave it is their methods of dealing with her that are at fault, not yours.
The most important thing is your relationship with her, not her's with the school or your's with the school. The best advice I ever got was from a friend who said I should sit there, look at the teacher and say "well do you feel you managed it well?" and "what do you think you could have done", and look innocent. Worked every time! It also meant that when I stopped trying to solve their problems for them, the school started dealing with him better.
