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My DH was told after the reversal that ge only has around a 40% chance of fathering another child because the original vasectomy was so heavy handed (i.e cut out around 20cms of tube when only 1cm needed to be removed and also heavy scarring) therefore giving him the chances of someone who had had their vasectomy over 15 years ago rather than 5 years (which was when his was done).
GP is hopeless at anything surrounding fertlity and so our follow up semen analysis he told us everything looked "normal" and it had worked but had no clue about morphology/motility etc or even that the analysis had to be repeated to check gahhhhh!
its so frustrating! I really hope your GP is more clued up than mine. Good luck with it.
My hubby got to give 1st sample tomorrow - but sounds very similar to your - apparently they "took a big chunk out" originally. I keep convincing myself I got all these symptoms but know its all in my head really - how do you keep going?? They say it can take up to 2 years but most common time is around 1year. Im not very good at waiting! You are nearly at 1 year then?
My DH had 2 vasectomy reversals and although technically they worked (I.e the join worked) I still couldnt get pregnant naturally. SO we went onto to have ICSI where they took the sperm from DH via injection. Eventually worked and we had twin boys so there are other options IF this doesnt happen for you.
Hi Terrier, I am also very very impatient! I have managed to get a referall to a fertility specialist and am hoping he can discover whats up with me and whether or not DH's VR has actually worked since I am scared it has scarred back over.
Did your DH have a normal VR or a microsurgery one?
God - I know it sounds incredible but I really dont know! The surgeon looked like the mad professor and was a bit "what the hell lets give it a go" sort of guy! Im just hoping and praying he knew what he was doing! By the way - the dream is over for this month - it has arrived! Knew it would - just wishful thinking - must try harder this month!!
Aw terrier sorry you got your period (cant really get used to saying AF!) I hope you have more luck this month I am on day 10 today so going to start shagging every other day from today til about day 24!!!! Not sure if I'm up to it but getting desperate - even thought about just getting him to produce the stuff and syringe it up there if we get desperate towards the end of ther month LOL!
Ah well only 110 days til you can start jiggying then back to the wonderful 2WW
We'll have to keep each others spirits up! Do you find yourself slightly obsessed with all things baby related?? I feel like Im surrounded by it - saw by friends newborn on the maternity ward yest and by the time I got home my neighbour popped round to say their daughter had just had her new daughter too - then my 6 year old came home with his new school reading book called "The new Baby" - is someone trying to tell me something!! Do you have any children already?
Ha! Thats so weird - my DS had that book (ORT the new baby!) last week then this week a book about going camping in which - yes you guessed it! The farmers wife (owner of the campsite) gives birth to a new baby!!!!!Gaaaahhh! I was actually filling up listening to him read it esp when he said awww mummy look at the little cute baby
EVERYONE I know is preganant - even men (just kidding but it almost feels that way! I hate TTC its shitty, I almost wish I had had my children really young (i.e before 25) when its so much easier to fall pregnant. I know theres lots of reasons I didnt do that but looking back I often wonder if it really would have been the right thing to do IYSWIM.
Can I join you ? My DH is having the first consultation on June 7th, the first steps to the reversal. I shall die if it doesn't work, he's having micro surgery. The orginal vasectomy was 4 years ago so so i'm hoping that increases our chances slightly that and we've always hit the jackpot first time in the past, just hope i'm not being t over confident. I keep wanting to buy baby stuff
Hi KatieDD _ I am sure we have chatted before about this! So I guess this is the new thread for TTC'ers after vas reversal!
I found out on Friday that DH is now officially "subfertile" - after the GP telling us the sperm test results were "fine, lower end of normal" I knew something was wrong and insisted on a copy of the results which clearly state thw WHO guidelines on infertlity and show DH's results around half what they should be - how could the GP get it so wrong!!?
Any way think there are also problems with me as my cycles have been totally wacky since stopping the pill (23 days, 56 dyas 31 day etc etc!) so I have an appointment with the gyne specialist on 27th May and hopefully he will be able to look into or refer Dh to someone to look into his "ishooos" as well!
KatieDD - felt exactly like you before hand - but I reckon yours will be more successful as it was 5.5 years since the op when DH had his reversed and he had had loads of pain and problems so I kind of knew it was probably going to be a poor outcome.
Yes I remember you, we've been on holiday since we last spoke, lots of time for big arguments, tears, throwing of rings etc but at least it's sunk in that this is what i want and we have to try if we want to remain married, so I think that's a good thing. I guess it's now dealing with the practical side which I hate, half of me wants to go and have a one stand and declare a miracle has ocurred, I wouldn't btw but am fed up already.
Its great to have people to share this experience with!! Get sick of hearing about people who accidently get pregnant and dont really want them - so unfair!! Good luck to you both - lets keep each others spirits up! xx
KatieDD - I could have written that last post of yours! Been there and totally done that!
After we got DH's sperm test results back on Friday I have had a really terrible weekend just really went into to a tailspin after googling the chances of conceiving with those figures and realising its really unlikely without assistance i.e. IVF or something like that. Never ever did I imagine I would be a person who would need IVF - stupid as that sounds it just never was something I thought I'd need. Also I am convinced I have problems now too and am so enormously angry with DH - if he hadn';t had that vasectomy we would only be dealing with my fertility prob now we are dealing with combined reduced fertlity and it feels hopeless. I am signed off work at the moment. I hate my job and now have no chance of getting another because of my sick record!
Life is shit sometimes and I just keep holding onto the fact I have DS.
I have considered a one night stand too! (would never do it in reality but god have I fantasised about it - twould solve everything (wishful thinking emoticon)!!
I swing between being OK about it all and then deeply deeply sad then spectacularly angry not sure how I am going to cope with all this TBH.
Terrier - you are right we should try and keep each others spirits up, its such a weird niche experience I dont think people not going through it can quite understand the range of emotions!!
God - I know what you mean - i'm up/down/all over the place! Well we didnt go for semen analysis as planned last Thurs as it was gonna cost us more money and we are absolutely skint after paying for the surgery. Have just decided to "wait and see"! God how hard is that?? Then again if they told us it hadnt worked my hubby is adamant thats the end of the road for us baby wise - he will not even consider other options! Guess I'll just have to try my hardest for the next 2years (thats when they told us we could be sure it hadnt worked!!)I find it all quite stressful though, and hubby doesnt want anyone to know we have had reversal as feels it will put more pressure on us!! I should stop moaning really, as it seems Im not going through as much as you pinkmook - everything seems fine with me so far. Really hope you get some good news soon - sounds like you are really suffering at the mo xx Good luck katieDD - its a long slow process, but stay positive xx
Terrier, can you not get your semen analysis on the NHS? We did. Just went to the GP and requested it - he never turned a hair, in fact the receptionist filled in the little form/sample bag thingy for us (iirc we didnt even see the GP)
worth a try!
Were you/have you stopped taking the pill? I wish I'd stopped taking mine ages ago (was taking it even after original vasectomy due to getting terrible acne on back which yasmin controlled - now I am pretty sure this acne was a symptom of PCOS )
Don't these posts show that vasectomies and sterilisation are really not a good idea?
i don't mean that in a preachy way but an awful lot of people seem to regret their decision. Either they go on to have new relationships or decide they want more children within the one they've always been in.
personally, when contraceptive is so readily available and effective i don't understand why anyone would take such a drastic decision. But then, I suppose, hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Good luck to all those currently caught in the middle.
Yep Nancy66 I totally agree - I never wanted DH to have the bloody thing done and remember on the day asking him if he was sure...but I had had post natal depression, he was shell shocked by the whole thing and has said since that if at any point someone not involved (i.e. not me) had said whoa hold on are sure about this, wait a few months, or something along those lines he probably wouldn't have done it.
It makes me so sad and frustrated that the GP, surgeon, everyone involved never questioned it - I thought that was standard practice? He was 29 years old when he had the vasectomy, our son was 6 months old and they gave him a really quick appointment because of a cancellation (god how i wish that cancellation was mine )
Wow Pinkmook that is really shocking. Your GP was very irresponsible in agreeing to this. I'd like to think it wouldn't happen today but you never know.
Pinkmook - I hadnt even thought of asking the gp on the nhs for analysis - though if he's as s**t as your gp might not be much point! Definately worth a shot though I think - I've never been much good at waiting! Stopped taking the pill about 2years ago when met DH as he'd had the snip - before I met him (about 7.5years ago now). We both have 2dc's each and when we first met it didnt bother me that we could'nt have one together - oh how things change so quickly!! Nancy66- I totally agree with you - i think there should be lots of counselling and at least a 6month "cooling" period before such a drastic decision is made - if only the nhs were so quick with other surgery!! Unless there are serious medical reasons (including genetic conditions) - I dont think it should be so easily available (as with abortion)- fertility is a gift that not everyone is blessed with and should be looked after. Probably started something here, didnt mean to - must be the hormones. lol!
Yep My GP is crap esp when it comes to fertility stuff but if he does the semen analysis just ask for a copy of the printout - thats all I did. I can copy and paste on here what the world health organisation standard figures are (on my printout they were on there any way so you could compare them).
Thats a good point you made about fertility being a gift. I am sure in some areas you HAVE to have colunselling with family planning nurses before they will do it - unfortunately not where I live.
Good luck with getting it from your GP - post back here to let us know how you get on!
Should we just go straight for IVF then, I thinking that if I pay £2500 for the reversal I won't have the £5,000 for IVF if that doesn't work and I am on a deadline, within reason, I don't want more than a 10 year gap from eldest to youngest.
Oh and yes there should be counselling before hand, I would have done everything in my power to talk him out of it had i been given the chance, but oh no the GP couldn't wait to send him off, without any mention of his partner. My argument is if I'd had an abortion without discussion we wouldn't still be married
KatieDD - I thought that - should we just go straight for IVF but I did some reading (including medical journals and apparently overall its better to try having a vasectomy reversal first iyswim.
Its a crap situation isnt it ? So (KatieDD) did your DH have his vasectomy after your first child?
Im getting really obsessed now - have agreed with DH that if he gives up smoking then I will give up chocolate - then we will both be healthier - oh the stress levels in our house!!
I would stick with the ciggies and chocolate rather than risk the stress myself. What about the guilt though, we need a new kitchen urgently had a quote for £10k last night and I can see DH thinking if we have this we can't afford the IVF, it's a bloody nightmare and then my other kids "need" stuff all the time, relentlessly.
after DH bloody well having the vasectomy in the first place giving up alcohol is a small price to pay he'll be giving up his knob if he doesn't make the effort!
Your Dh had the vasectomy before you met didn't he? So he gets away with far more than mine does I just remind him we wouldnt be in this mess if he wasnt so reactive! (I know I am naughty and that will prob back fire on me but for now it works!)
Have you asked for a sperm analysis for your doc yet? I would go see the nurse (thats what I did) and just explain. The nurse and receptionists at my GP's were fascinated (I dont think theyd ever come across a vasectomy reversal before LOL)Once you have the bag/bottle combo you can take your time in persuading DH to produce the goods and then pop it to the hospital for analysis!
So is it that straight forward then? They just give us the bottle and off we go? Dont we need appt at hospital or something? Havent asked gp yet - thought they may say it was up to our consultant to do it. May just cough up the money yet - its £40, so not huge - dont know if i can just "wait and see"! My DH feels really bad for having it done in the first place and thinks its all his fault - he desparately wants us to have a child together (sad)
'Don't these posts show that vasectomies and sterilisation are really not a good idea?
personally, when contraceptive is so readily available and effective i don't understand why anyone would take such a drastic decision. But then, I suppose, hindsight is a wonderful thing. '
they are an excellent idea when people are counselled properly beforehand.
contraception as available does NOT suit all people - some can no longer use hormonal methods at all and have other health problems that make the copper coil not good for them. or fall pregnant too easily to rely on condoms.
some folks think very long and hard about their decision or have had significant health problems that make having more children a life-threatening condition.
they are 100% they either want no more children or indeed perhaps none at all.
the vast majority of people who opt for sterilisation do not regret their decision at all.
Your DH sounds a little more "new man" and emotionally mature than mine (lol) mine is just like "well I couldn't cope with how hard it all was so the perfect solution was to remove any possibility of having any more" et voila - vasectomy - so as you can see - he deserves torturing Only kidding (I think )
Yes it really was that simple - as far as I can see (he has had two sperm analyses now) its just like if you want a blood test or a urine test for something - the practice nurse can fill the form in for you/ give you a sample pot and as long as you have that you just take it to your pathology dept at your local hospital. Ifyou make an app with the practice nurse I have no doubt she will be able to advise you further.
I actually found all this out when first time round (sperm test) we were told by GP it was all fine was really unsure about this and ruminated on it before posting on here asking for help. Someone suggested I ring my family planning clinic - which I did - and it just so happened there was a gyne nurse there. I popped down and spent ages talking to her - she was not surprised at my GP's lack of knowledge - said its quite common - and gave me loads of advice,info on what a normal or "fertile" sperm result should be- including just book to see practice nurse at my docs and ask for the sperm test bag/form/pot (its exactly the same form/bag they use for a urine sample!)
If you are unsure about anything I can highly reccomend ringing your Family planning clinic and asking if there is any one available to talk to you about fertility stuff (they do do this as well as stopping people from getting pg!)
"they are an excellent idea when people are counselled properly beforehand"
unfortunately this (counselling) did not happen in our case, I am unsure how reliably the rules on counselling are applied in other areas, only that in ours there was NO counselling, a 29 year old first time father with a 6m old baby presented at the docs requesting vasectomy with an unwilling partner - and was given one
I habe since been told that any one under 35, within 12 months of a child being born should be seriously discouraged but this just did not happen with us.
I am sure there are many many cases were its all fine. Doesn't help me though.
I think we were just meaning that its not a decision to be rushed into and that some gp's do not offer thorough enough consultations prior to the procedure. Im sure you are right though and there are many people out there who will never regret their decision. Unfortunately we seem to be within the minority that do regret it.
i was dissuaded from one because it wasn't 12 months after the birth of my last child.
my DH wishes to have one now, before the birth of our 3rd, and he is 30.
BUT, he's been wanting to have one for a while now and i do think, ultimately, it's a person's choice.
i cannot use hormonal contraception, so basically, after our 3rd is born, it will be no sex until the sterilisation is shown to work, because we both feel that strongly about not having any more children and abortion is not for me.
i don't think 'unwilling partner' should factor into it, FWIW, because i know i'd hate to see the day when a man could veto his wife's right to do what she wishes with her body because he doesn't agree with it.
it's unfortunate your spouse did not receive counselling before his procedure, though.
expat - yep I agree counselling should be a high priority in these cases but as I said in an earlier post he has stated since that if someone - anyone! apart from me had said slow down - are you sure you want this - wait 6 months - whatever - then he doesn't think he would have done it.
my FIL, father and BIL all had them and never had any regrets.
but, they'd all fathered two children and were in their 30s. my mother had csections and neither wanted her to have another, my sister had HELP/pre-clampsia and my ILs two sons' have disabilities, so for them, it was a choice that was best for them.
i'd have myself sterilised, but only if it were the new procedure that's only being offered in some areas. otherwise, it's another operation. i've had so many, DH feels it's sort of 'his turn'.
expat - can totally understand why your family members had the op. My Dh isnt/wasn't the most sensible 29yr old I guess and thats why GP's need to be careful!
for you with lots of ops - hope you are well now. Good luck with your DH's vasectomy
i'm sort of hoping hte new procedure comes here and i'd have it myself, cuz he thinks he's so hard, but really he's kind of a wuss whereas i know i can take it .
i'll be nearly 38 when this one is born, and i agree with you, age makes a difference in these types of decisions.
the sterilisation is performed on the female under local anaesthetic. she's given a similar sort of dye test as hysteroscopy, a procedure used on some women experiencing fertility problems to view their uterus and Fallopian tubes. then, a small tube is guided into each tube and a rod placed in each.
takes about half an hour and she can go home soon after.
more effective than standard methods used now, and no GA or unpleasant side effects from gas being used to bloat the abdomen.
it's now being gradually rolled out on the NHS, a good thing because it's much cheaper than the standard method now:
Im my Dh's case it was the right decision at the time - he was with a previous partner and they had 2 dc's already. Unfortunately the relationship did not last (she's not a very stable person basically) and now he is happily married to me. Now we would dearly love a child together and he deeply regrets the vasectomy. Unfortunately not every relationship lasts forever and things can change. Im sure if he had stayed happy with his ex then he would not have regretted the decision. I also know people who have never regretted their decision. I can also fully understand why some people choose to have it done. I have to agree with the lack of counselling in some areas though - my 32 year old best mate (one dc) has recently had it done without any counselling - he told the GP what he wanted and was booked into the next slot - 2 weeks later. In their case they are happy with the decision. Can also see why for some people, like yourself, this really is the best option. Hope it goes well for you, and good luck with the birth too xx
I do not know anybody who was offered counselling tbh the GP's seem very keen to organise vasectomy's and very quickly my child was 6 weeks old, DH made the first appointment whilst on paternity leave so she would have been a few days old at most and he was all done 6 weeks later. I was hormonal, had just given birth, he said I didn't complain loudly enough at the time but why would I, I was too bloody busy. Counselling should be standard for male and female and should involve current partners too.
KatieDD thats terrible, I know GP's deal with lots of other shit but God, its such a life changing op, people are under massive mental strain often when these decisions are made and its like I have had a member of my family taken away (i know that sounds slightly dramatic but thats how I feel) my DS has been and may now always be denied knowing what its like to have a sibling.
Morning KatieDD and terrier141 - how are you both doing today? I just purchased my saw palmetto (as reccomended on the sperm analysis thread!!) really hope it makes a difference. Did you get your sperm test done yet terrier?
No not yet, but will have to - cant cope with not knowing much longer. Have ordered a Persona thingy off ebay -silly really cos dont know if hes got swimmers, so might not matter whether Im ovulating or not! CD9 for me today, have started trying again already though - well cant just do it on ovulation days - have to keep him happy! What day are you on now Pinkmook? Any encouraging signs yet? Katie dd how are you feeling? Bet you are fed up with all the waiting and just want to get started. xx
I have a persona but with my irregular cycles i gave up after 4 months! CD17 for me - there are some signs I may have ovulated on day 15 but my temp hasn'e risen by much yet so not entirely sure!!
Katie - not too long to wait now then - although I know it seems like forever when you are waiting - just cant wait to get started. Glad hes feeing a bit more optomistic though - thats half the battle. My dh keeps telling me he feels like he's letting me down, although thats not how I feel at all - I do get disappointed but then I did know when I met him that he'd had it done, this didnt stop me wanting to marry him. I know that yours and pinks situations are very different so can understand your frustrations though. At the moment I feel really obsessed with this whole ttc lark - dh says we should just "see what happens!" - unfortunatley I cant do that - i need to be doing opk's and the likes and charting my cycles. Dh feels its all too clinical - but I just feel desparate for it to happen!How can a month feel like such a long time?!! xx
How you going on anyway KatieDD? Looking forward to the 7th JUne?
fertility friend just adjusted my ovulation day from day15 to day 17 grrrrr even longer to wait and obsess now!
Have been doing some research and am now pretty sure we wont be able to conceive without assistance
Seeing the gyne consultant on Tuesday next week though so hopefully they will refer DH to a urologist and see what they can do about his "ishooos"! I wonder if they will "unblock" his tubes on the NHS (i.e do a repeat reversal!!!??? - I can only hope as a redo reversal with the private clinic we went to is close to 4 grand
I am counting the days until 7th June, but feeling a bit nervous too. My neighbours just found out she's having a boy after 3 girls and I am so tempted to give her all my boy stuff, seems almost mean not to on the basis that I am not actually pregnant but i just don't want to
I think it's worth asking if they will unblock tubes on the NHS, bloody hell when I think of somebody who lives near us, had IVF on the NHS, smoked and drank all through the pregnancy as a result ended up with premmie twins who have no end of problems and now her and the boyfriend get carers allowence, it's a joke.
I wonder what you have to do to get IVF on the NHS, because they already had one child without it.
hey if you find out any info on getting IVF on the NHS let me know! From the research Ive done they will only do IVF in my area if you dont have any children (or after death of a child) - but if you find out anything that can swing it please do let me know and I'll do vice versa!
Hey Pinkmook - is it today you have your appt?? Good luck if it is and let me know how you get on - Im thinking of you!! Dh is not amused that I ordered Persona - he reckons our life is gonna be controlled by it! He has finally agreed that I can ask gp for sperm test though! Hope you get some encouraging advice today - fingers crossed for you xx
Hiya terrier - yep the app is today!! Am really scared but excited - not sure what they will say, frightened in case its all doom and gloom....thanks for thinking of me
Not great but not really really terrible - we got to see what his original sperm reults were (3 months post op) and they were something terrible like 5 million/ml, 1% morph and 10% motility so at leat going off that they have round about doubled in all 3 areas - but as the consultant said they are still not normal/fertile results.
Dh has to have more detailed sperm tests done at a bigger hospital that will measure sperm antibodies
I had an internal (yack) and several swabs taken to rule out infections internally (there was loads of blood and he said maybe I am due AF - but unless Ive had another stupid annovulatory cycle then I shouldn't be due on for about 10 days so now think I DIDN't ovulate - poop)
I have to repeat the day 1-3 blood tests and go for a pelvic scan.
He also said there is no chance of IVF on NHS as even though DH has had a reversal - a vasectomy in your history totally rules this out. He sad it would cost about 4-5 thousand for it as he would probably need ICSI as well as IVF (think this is right - might have the terminology wrong)
Wasnt saying I couldnt get PG but not particularly encouraging either.
Mega fucked off to be honest. Was meant to be back in work today but cant face it
Ah hun, it's awful isn't it, is private treatment an option ? I keep thinking it's too indulgent and not fair on the rest of the family. This is causing so much tension here, how are you both coping, i feel like i
Its a possibility but not sure how we'd scrape the money together and when you read that 70% of IVF fails its pretty grim.
At the moment we are doing OK but not sure how long that will last. He has expressed real regret for the first time yesterday about what he's done and said if he could turn the clock back he would - it kind of took the wind out of my sails and I didn't feel so angry with him any more.
I guess I am trying to adjust to the now very real possibility that I cannot have anymore children - but am gripped with fear of anything happening to my DS - if it does I wont be a mum any more - I know that sounds weird but my brain is going loopy.
Also - really fucking dreading going back to work as my colleague loves to tell me I should be grateful for what Ive got - as if I'm fucking well not grateful {sad] I know she means well but I just fell like going into my shell when she says it.
Feel for you with the tension at home - we had loads of that here before DH's op - lots of "well I'm not going to have a reversal style arguments
I'd be very tempted to tell that colleague where to get off, cheeky mare. At least hopefully your feeling more supported now if he feels regret. 70% failure rate, that's worrying, just don't know what to suggest. You'll always be a Mom no what matter, but yes i do know what you mean, it's so hard.
Hi PM - just read what you said bout your appt - sorry its not encouraging news - sounds like you are having a tough time all round . The one positive I did notice though from your post is that you said your DHs results have improved? - hopefully they will continue to improve aswell?? I know its still nothing too hopeful - but just wanted to find one positive to focus on!! I have read other forums where the DH's results were really poor and they'd been advised it was hopeless - only to conceive naturally much later as the sperm results had improved over time. I know things are more complicated than that for you - just trying to cheer you up!! xx
btw im driving dh insane - to the point where he just cant perform!! Think i'm putting too much pressure on him. Might be tmi - but it just goes on forever and ever with no end reult IYSWIM! I find it a chore too which I know is not good - stress etc - know the advice about relaxing and all that - but am totally obsessed - wish I wasnt! Also been using those cheepy ebay OPK's and according to them i havent OV'd - Im on CD16 of a 28 day cycle now. Think they might be increasing my stress levels - DH has threatened to throw them away!!
Perhaps we should have a support thread for the DH's, mine was in tears and shouting again last night, he's only doing this for me and boy do i now it, i have a really sinking feeling now that i shouldn't be doing this at all
Im feeling the same at the moment - have had my 2 dc's and 2 dsc's all week and have done nothing but scream at them - maybe another one insnt such a good idea!
Pink, I'm sure it'll happen, but if it doesn't take heart in the fact that mine are in a time out at moment for hitting each other saucpans, real i want to hurt you type wacks. I sometimes wonder weather i'm bloody mad tbh.
Not too bad thanks - trying to find ways to spice things up! On the dreaded 2ww now (thats assuming i have actually OV'd - as OPK's didnt detect anything). How are you both feeling today?
I am on the 2WW now too (either 8dpo or 10dpo - depending on which set of cross hairs I believe is right - FF did one then moved it 2 days later grrrr)
when I saw the consultant he smeared and swabbed me (sounds awful!) and there was quite a bit of blood so have had blinkin pink/brown spotting since then but temp still up.
Had it done 12th April - so only about 6 weeks - but this is our 2nd cycle of ttc as we started bd exactly 2 weeks after the op which fitted exactly with my OV for that month IYSWIM! Im currently on CD 17 so assuming I OV'd on CD14 Im about 3dpo - god why is ttc so bloody confusing?! Never had these issues with the other 2 - caught 1st cycle with dd and 3rd cycle with ds without any charting or really trying - am just obsessed this time cos i know it wont be that easy - if at all!
Hey Katie DD - on about a thread for the DH's - have you seen the dadsnet section on here (under - in the club!). Dont think my dh would use it though - typical man - not really into discussing sensitive stuff!
Charting is in turns fantastic and a right pain in the ass isnt it?!
I reckon you will be fine - has he got round to setting a date for the semen analysis? It might put both your minds at rest cause I bet you are thinking yours could be as bad as mine - and I bet its not.
My DH seems to have done a complete U turn after my full on tantrum on Wednesday night and is at the GP's getting a referal letter which he needs for the 7th June appointment tonight. It's me with the cold feet now, I keep thinking about what we'll have to go through and the financial impact of just trying to get pregnant nevermind everything else after the baby and wondering if it's what I should do, I want to but is it the right thing for us, I wish I could just have sex and get pregnant like everyone else this just feels so hard (I know people go through worse just feeling sorry for myself).
This is all so traumatic for the three of us isn't it, I hope we can all post our baby photo's soon without too much crap in between.
Katie - I felt exactly like you as the date got closer, and even the day of the op! Still not convinced - have spent all week shouting at the 4 we have between us and wondering how I'll cope if it actually does work! PM - No DH hasnt set a date for analysis yet - now its me that scared in case its bad news!! Starting to wonder if its a bit too soon after the op because I've heard it can gradually improve over time?? Might wait a few months first.
Oh I am so nervous now, I just cannot picture myself pregnant again or with a baby boy/girl. Hubby says it's a sign, I said shut up but i am so torn, maybe it's a protective measure to stop me getting my hopes up.
Ah Pink I know how you feel my nanny is pregnant and it was ok whilst she felf shite and was being sick every 2 mins but now she's blooming and I am sooooo too. I'll keep you posted, god this is a strange situation though, I'm up and down like a tarts knickers !
I'm even of the morning sickness - how sad is that!
One is preg with twins - sad its not me but very excited to see the twins when they are born - oh gawd how cute (though maybe not so cute when they are both bawling to be fed at 2 am
Hi you two - hope you are both not too stressed! I have been so moody and snappy this week - I'm fed up of myself! Katie DD - not long now then?? Bet you cant wait - its the start!! What about you PM - any signs of anything yet? What day are you on now? xx
12 dpo and started bleeding more actually I think I am more like 14dpo as FF moved my cross hairs thereby moving my ov day by 2 days but all other physcial signs inc cervix, cm, etc said ov 2 days earlier grrrrrrrrrr.
its a killer isnt it? this month just gone (now on cd2 BTW af started last night) I imagined that the spotting was implantation and that I could see a line a pregnancy test (even DH said he could see a feint line!) also had, twinges (implantation obv ), nausea, sore nipples, hunger, dizzyness and tiredness all NOT pregnancy but all soooo annoyingly hopeful of pregnancy!
Hey Katiedd - isnt tomorrow the big day?? Really hope you get some encouraging advice - and maybe even a date for surgery?? How are you PM - you have been quiet these last few days! Hope you are not letting things get you down too much! lol!! Easier said than done I know! Well Im on cd24 of 28 and really dont think this is gonna be my month. All the symptoms I had imagined are well and truely gone now - i cant even imagine them!! xx
Bloody hell it is tomorrow (shaking icon). I am actually scared stiff so is DH and according to my cycle i should be ovulating and i'm not i think this is going to be a rocky road. The cat had 4 kittens today though so that was nice (and slightly baby related)
You'll be fine!! I'll be thinking of you anyway! Great news about your kittens!! When I was feeling really down about not being able to get pregnant last year (when we couldnt afford op) I went out and got 3 kittens! I was feeling really broody and it sort of helped to have some "babies" to look after! They are now about 1year old and still my babies!! Had a similar desire to go and get another dog a few months back too - though dh put his foot down on that idea! In hindsight it wouldnt have been the best idea!! With 4 kids, 3 cats and 1 dog its quite crowded already! Dont know why i told you all that!! Good luck for today!! xx
Well he's back, another row But for £160 he told DH that the operation has a 90% success rate, £2500 in total and then it's 50/50 if I will ever get pregnant. I'm not liking those odds, especially as he said it can take 2 years to get to optimium sperm count. I cannot wait 2 years, I just can't. I want to go straight for IVF, it's not like we want 5 kids, so DH wouldn't actually need a reversal, they could just suck it out. I'm also worried about my cycle being messed up, IVF seems more immediate and guaranteed or am I kidding myself ?
God i dont know - its really hard isnt it - I can totally understand how you feel. How much is th IVF option? Do you know the success rates for IVF? Not sure if its correct but I'm sure I've read somewhere that its only about 25% (hope im wrong on that one!) Bet you are really disheartened now after all that waiting - they are not very encouraging (consultants) - although I guess they do have to prepare us for bad news. Know how you feel about not wanting to wait 2 years to find out if its worked - Im only on cycle 2 and already really depressed with it all. I know we couldnt afford IVF aswell and my dh has said absolutely no way to it anyway - reckons its too invasive - but I just know if this doesnt work i will be pestering him to reconsider and trying to find the money!
Hi Terrier and Katie - been busy in rl the last few days, going ob trips out and things to lessen the stress of TTC!
Katie I really feel for you, I went through the same crisis of confidence in having a reversal but always got advised it was best to try for a reversal first - even the GP and family planning said the same I found the follwing (cut and paste) sums up the advice I got from most people!:
The pros and cons of vasectomy reversal and IVF are the following: If a vasectomy reversal is successful then it can lead to natural conception which for most couples is most desirable, cost effective and fun! It requires only one procedure be done and then most people are on their way. Reversal is about one half the price of a single cycle of IVF when all expenses are added up. A study published several years ago showed that total costs were three times as expensive to deliver a child conceived with IVF versus a vasectomy reversal. The cons of reversal are that it doesn’t always work, some men don’t want to have a reversal and that it may take a fair amount of time to conceive after a reversal. The mean time to pregnancy is about 12 months following a reversal but this is distributed on a bell shaped curve (Gaussian) so some people will get pregnant sooner and others later then 12 months.
The Pros of IVF are that it offers the quickest way to get pregnant in a given month but it doesn’t always work, as a matter of fact most couples will have to go through more than one IVF cycle to deliver a baby. Remember that pregnancy rates don’t mean a live baby. IVF is an excellent alternative if a vasectomy reversal has failed or if there is female factor infertility as well as male factor problems.
The cons of IVF are several fold. IVF is expensive, much more expensive for the same statistical result as reversal. Many women do not react well to taking two weeks of fertility injections and the medications can have side effects ranging from very mild to very severe. Many couples are hesitant about having a test-tube baby unless it is the only alternative. The whole process also requires that a man undergo a procedure to get sperm for IVF although is it not as detailed as a reversal procedure. Lastly, there is close to a 30% chance of having multiple births with IVF that can compromise the health of the babies and complicate the pregnancy in certain circumstances
Myth #6: If you only want one more child then In-vitro is a better option than vasectomy reversal and than having a vasectomy again.
Fact: Since there is a 30% chance of having twins or triplets with IVF, vasectomy reversal is usually a better option for couples wanting only one more child. Couples are often told to have IVF rather than a reversal and another vasectomy. This is usually very appealing to the husband but not so for the wife who has to go through the injections and egg harvesting procedure. The truth is that it is still way less expensive to have a reversal and a second vasectomy if needed down the road than IVF. Now with the no-scalpel vasectomy, vasectomy is a quick and relatively painless 10 -minute office procedure. Remember that it will take time to conceive and carry the pregnancy to term so most men won’t need another vasectomy by the time it is all over.
But having read all that I think you have to make the decision for your individual circumstances. I would research IVF, the costs, the physical process etc and decide based on that - its very very hard to know what to do for the best.
Right off he trots then lol I think having read a bit more about it, I cannot spend £5k and still not have a baby to show for it, £2500 will be horrific enough tbh, I have to think of the other children. Twins is just not something I could cope with either, my mum had twins and did a rubbish job of bringing them up purely because it was all too much for her. Right, well the consultant said there is a waiting list of a few months so he needs to get on it asap
so there are other options IF this doesnt happen for you.
I just remind him we wouldnt be in this mess if he wasnt so reactive! (I know I am naughty and that will prob back fire on me but for now it works!)
