I'm going to become dehydrated!

I'm peeing on FSHsticks(I keep thinking fishsticks when I see that but I'm definately not peeing on those)
I'm peeing on OVsticks
I'm peeing on PGsticks
Every morning there's a stick to be pee'd on!

I'm stick of trying to be a bloody contortionist too - legs in air after, pillow under arse after, I'm only short of standing on my head after.

Pre-seeding before proceeding
I can't say a number out loud any more without saying CD or DPO before or after it (dd's maths homework is a mess)

I don't remember it being this hard the last time - a night out, a good meal, a few drinks (well, lots of fews ), a short skirt (not an option any more) and no idea what day of the week it was never mind what day in my cycle it was so.....WTF?

TTC is HARD!!!!

Now, I feel better, thank you

Virtual large glass of wine on its way to you.

pmsl, agree with every word.

thanks for making me laugh GluteusMaxiMum - you have no idea how much I needed that and I genuinely thank you for that!

I'm not meant to be on here (not good for my obsessive TTC streak) but it was worth it for that x

Hi ladies

Thanks for the wine NF, I soooooooo need it

LL and PM, glad to give you a giggle. I think we have to laugh sometimes during this crazy TTC time or we'd have a breakdown!

Tis true, it is a crazy time with all the temping, peeing, positioning, counting, body fluid checking, symptom listing and checking, WAITING and those lines. Jeez those lines make me mad....."oh, oh, is it a line, erm yeah, oh I'm not sure, no, no, it's not. Well it could be because this is florescent light. Yes that's it, I'll go look at it in incandescent light Now? no, tealight? no, torchlight? no, blacklight? no....f$%king mooooonliiiight ? Come on??!! NO.....
Ah, it's because I'm holding it wrong der, of course <<slap forehead emoticon>>...
Now, tilt it this way, no. Hold it up straight, no. Ok, bend over, hold it with left hand, through legs, mirror in right hand over shoulder, back to bigger mirror on the wall and view it like you do in the hairdressers when you want to see the back of you new head. Now? Yes, YES....call out to DP, DDDDDDDDPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP, he can't hear you because no sound actually came out though funnily enough, all the dogs in the neighbourhood are howling. Then....
Stop, WTF? The line is moving. HTF can the line be moving? It is then that you realise your lovely pink line (that you eventually found) is infact the blood in your eye from the burst capillary caused by you straining to find a bloody line. Oh and the lower backache can now be ruled out as a symptom because you know (though you'll deny it in true TTCer fashion)now it's from the line-searching acrobatics. FFS!

Babymaking, who'd have thought it a dangerous business?

pmsl you know the answer to this is to stop testing until after your period is late dont you? (been ttc for 2.5y, so well versed in the poas rituals)

I know, I'm so weak

I do try though. I don't have a big stock anymore but I still can't make it to the af-is-late stage. I'm buying them a day before she's due but trust me, that's a big improvement. A few months ago I was testing at 8dpo - such a waste, I may as well have been testing before I took my ass off the pillow!

I've had a peek on the TTC threads but as you've more than likely worked out already I'm a bit neurotic/psychotic for them just yet!

Hope you get your BFP soon

thanks, join us on the anti-poas thread, i we shall keep you on the straight and narrow.

Thanks Lissie, I may see you over there very soon. I'm 11dpo and just about managing to speed past Boots (but suffering whiplash on a daily basis)

PM I forgot to say hope you get a BFP very soon too.

<sneaks back in hoping DH doesn't see me>

Thanks GMM, I wish you all the luck in the world with your BFP too....wish I had had your sense of humour about the whole thing!

<goes back to obsessing whats wrong with pinkmooks reproductive system alternated with obsessing over fertility friend and HPT's>

Morning PM

I wish I could maintain the same sense of humour from week to week but sadly it fades and I go back to that horrible place with a BFN in my hand and I'm crying again.

The sense of failure and loss (lost hope, lost will, lost battle) eats away at me. There's anger and there's guilt. Who am I angry with though? I don't know but I want someone to blame. I can't stand to think of it as a game of chance. This is my life not a casino!

The guilt? Because I know there are people who have it worse than me but if I can liken it to drowning....I'm drowning in 10ft of water and though there are some in 20ft of water the outcome is the same if none of us can swim no mater how deep the water is. That's where I'm at right now, I'm out of my dept and I can't swim. The only thing that helps to keep my head above water is my doggy paddle and my sense of humour is my doggy paddle. This is the only time I feel like I can help anyone including myself.

Thankfully, there are a lot of doggy paddlers on other threads and together I'm sure, if we splash enough we'll spill some of that water over the edge and make it possible for all of us to take a breather

Best wishes to you PM. I wholeheartedly mean that

Hi GMM - Im not doing to well with my cold turkey from this conception thread am I?!

The things you say make so much sense - I can only assume you must be a writer by trade as you seem to manage to distill my emotions from a big swirling pool O' crap into the true essence of the situation. The guilt and the drowning in 10 feet of water - so true and I will definitely have to steal that line to explain my siuation to those who say "just be thanful for what you DO have".

You have a rare talent to be able to make me - the queen of misery, smile!

If feels like you just chucked me a life ring - or a doggy paddle

OK am going to try and swim for a bit

oops typo I'm not doing too well

thankful [blush

I don't even want to check my typos, I'm sure there's many

I'm definately not a writer just an emotional body who finds articulating all the emotion a little difficult sometimes so I use analogies.

I'm glad you've been able to smile awhile

I'm ttc#2. It's been eight months now. How about you?

Me? TTC #2 7 months but only 6 cycles (just in the middle of an epic cycle CD 53) male factor and female factor problems (not much chance of success eh?!)age me-32 DH 34.

My DS is 6, how about you?

x

DD is 7. We're not sure about fertility because we've only done home tests. Mine was FSH test which seemed ok (if I did it right, always self-doubting!) and dp's one was just a count so no idea re motility or much else. We have to repeat again next week.

I'm 30 and he's 25. dd is from a previous relationship. Actually dd is another reason why I'm getting so worked up about having another sooner rather than later - I'd like if the age gap wasn't getting bigger and bigger as time goes on.

CD 53? That's a long spell. Have you seen a doctor about it or have you any reason why this cycle is different. (I don't expect you to tell me the reason just wondering if you know yourself)

I have seen my doctor but he's crap (just to give you a small idea of HOW crap - when i saw him last and said I was on CD48 but that I thought I had ovulated on CD39 so did a pregnancy test that morning but I was aware that even if I was pregnant it was unlikely to show up at 8DPO - says he: "oh no tests these days can tell you if you are pregnant from ovulation" {cue me falling off my chair in shock horror that this man has a job as a doctor}

I am going back next week and going to try and be really strong and insist he refers me to the fertility consultant. Even though he said he'd not refer us until September - so wish me luck with that!

GMM - with a young whipper snapper of 25 for a DP you'll be pg in no time I bet.

Lots of love and luck

xx

Hi PM, just a quick note but I'll be back later. Had an emergency (only a little one!) with my dog and I'm now going out for dinner so just wanted to check in to say hi and chat to you soon. Have a nice day

Hiya GMM, Hope the doggie is OK! am on CD55 eek! Have booked in at the doctors on friday to push for a referall because I think I am going to go loopy if I dont find out whats wrong with me!

Did you have a nice lunch out?

xx

Hi PM

I'm sorry I'm only getting back to you now. Poor dog ended up being quite sick and have been looking after her. Lunch was lovely though rushed!

Af arrived this morning. I was so pissed off and wanted to cry my eyes out but it happened in work and I had to hold it together so I've had the whole day to calm myself and try to think a little more positively.

I hope you get some good news/advice from the doctors. Some of them won't do much until you've been trying for a year (ours still won't entertain the thought that anything could be wrong until the year is up) so try to be prepared and run through, in your head, what you need to say before you go.

Good luck

Chat to ye soon.

Thanks GMM, I am going to say the stability of my mental health prevents me from waiting any longer!! Particularly since I scared myself even more watching that programme "the baby race" about a group of women trying to have babies - did you see it?

for you with af arriving. My AF arrived properly yesterday (have been spotting since last friday)so the bloody day 11 blood test I had on Friday is up the swanny now .

Oh well we can both start looking for signs of impending ovulation together I guess

Hope the Doggie feels better

oops that should read *day 1* blood test doh!