Mumsnet Discussions - MC Avengers - Chocolate cake anyone?

Cheers Mistlethrush, and thanks for the hugs. This particular WW meeting is always busy, and there's always queuing no matter when you get there (have tried both). Probably best would be to arrive as late as possible then skip out. Or find another meeting, but I hate to abandon this leader as she's been lovely. I may feel differently next Thursday, but right now not wanting to go back.

I haven't even had time to process the weight issue. I can't believe I only gained 1/2 a pound in those three weeks. After the MC, DP and I ate everything and anything we could get our hands on. Poor DP gained 2.5 lbs. He also gained while I was pregnant---we are saying he was the one who was pg, not me.

Going to finish cleaning the house today, go get some healthy groceries and get us back on the wagon today. I cooked a healthy dinner last night for the first time in a while, and it was lovely. Hopefully will not get in any fights at the supermarket blush

Sarah - don't feel bad, it happens. After my 1st mc I felt that absolutely everyone that I saw was pregnant or with a small baby, and I regularly had to restrain myself from making comments to complete strangers (eg when I saw someone pregnant and smoking).

When you talk to your leader, find out if it is possible to get there late or early and not have to have the major queuing situation. I have been to ww before and never had 'numbers' called - queued up to pay and then wait in turn - with a chair to wait beside so you didn't get to close to the scales etc.

I think that you've done really well only gaining 1/2lb - focus on that. It would be so easy to lose that and another by next week. Go along and hold your head high. Try to go when there are less children around - but, I'm afraid, its something that you just have to get used to (this is from someone that didn't flock out to the office entrance to see secretary's 3mo baby as I should have had one in my arms about the same age blush

Lots of hugs (I know its not a 'done' thing to do on mn, but sometimes its really needed!

Hi all, I've now progressed (or regressed) to OTT anger at random people.

Last night went to my first Weight Watchers meeting for a while (last one being when I weighed in and then told her I was pregnant). Feels like ages ago even though it was only 3 weeks. I phoned the leader beforehand to say I was coming back and she was lovely, and I'd been having a really good day, feeling all philosophical and patting myself on the back for handling everything really well. . . .

So I get there (with DP, he goes too), and the first thing we are confronted with is that the woman checking you in and handing out cards has her stupid baby sitting right next to her. I said, loudly enough I thought, that I hadn't been for a while, because I was pregnant, but am not anymore. She is apparently deaf, keeps looking for my card, then looks at me and says 'have you reached goal?' and I'm thinking 'no you stupid bint, I'm as big as a house, do I look like I've EVER reached goal?' so I said again, louder, 'I quit coming a few weeks back because I was pregnant, but now I'm not, so I am back'. She asked when was the last time you came, and I said again, I don't know, a few weeks ago. I finally had to dig out my own record card with the date on it and say it was three weeks ago. The leader saw me struggling, bless her, and ran over and whispered something in the woman's ear, then snatched my card away from her and kept it until I went up to be weighed (I presume she was removing the info about my being pregnant).

Along with the first baby, there were two other babies in the room, a pregnant lady who'd come with her friend, and about 4 other school age children. The room just felt really close and DP and I were both feeling really uncomfortable. The leader came over and said 'If I hug you, will you cry?' and I said 'yep, probably' so she said 'I'll leave it then'. She is lovely.

Normally the procedure is that you get a number when you check in, and then you are called in groups of 5 to get weighed (basically it keeps the queue moving and everyone doesn't have to queue for the entire time, rather like boarding groups at the airport). I've been going to this particular meeting for 5 months, and never before has this happened. She called 'numbers 10-15' so DP and I got up and stood in the queue, with one lady ahead of us. Suddenly this other woman pushes up and says 'I'm number 10' so I said 'it doesn't work that way' and she snottily said 'why do we have numbers then?' but went to the back of the queue. She kept staring at me, so I gave her a stare back and said VERY loudly that some people were quite rude and didn't understand how things worked and someone should explain it to them. But I was nearly in tears and just wanted to get out of there. Plus very angry and repeated what I'd said to the leader, saying I didn't need this right now, that I hadn't done anything wrong. Leader gave me a little plant she'd bought me and said I'd only gained 1/2 a pound since three weeks ago, but I could barely thank her because I was just seething with rage and embarassment. I think a few tears might have escaped while I was queuing to pay. There was one lady between DP and I, and she said, 'are you together, do you want to go ahead?' and I said 'No, I don't try to push ahead like some people'.

I don't know what happened, I was really okay until I went in there, and I think all those fecking babies and kids just threw me so much....then it's topped off by a really bitchy woman who I could see was talking about me to the other people in the queue as though I was wrong--when I KNEW I wasn't. At least I didn't get into a fistfight, because I really felt like hitting her. I don't know if I can go back there, at least not for a while. I am clearly not ready to be herded into a little room and forced to looked at babies while I wait for someone to tell me how fat I am.

I am going to have to call the leader today and apologise as I did make a bit of a scene, and I barely thanked her for the plant. I think I will tell her I can't come back for a while--I don't know what else to do. blush

I felt so good yesterday, but today having trouble not crying, and going over and over yesterday in my mind.

Evening all, not posting much but still reading - I'm really sympathising with those that have to regularly put up with insensitive friends / relatives etc.

I had to go to overseas on a business trip this week and endure a co-worker going on and on about when it would be time for me to have my next baby, culminating in bets being placed on which month it would be. I think it was easier to distance myself from it all because they are only work colleagues that I've only met once before and because of the language not flowing so smoothly. All in all I was very proud of myself.

I'm still waiting for AF to appear, although I think she might be on her way, but who knows - only time will tell I guess.

I've really used this time to back off from the whole ttc thing and just focus on DS and DH, its definitely brought us all closer together - and we were quite tight to start off with.

And most excitingly, we've booked a holiday! I'm going away in October for a week in a sunny villa for the first time since DS was born and can't wait grin

Also, I made a donation to the Miscarriage Association, not huge, but big enough and got a letter back from a different company thanking me for my donation. At first I was worried my card details had been nicked but then realised that the same 'agency' that deals with fund collecting dealt with both charities - fortunately just an admin error and the money had gone to the right place. I think I would have been too embarassed to ask for it back from a charity but wanted the MA to have it too...very difficult, but all OK in the end.

Hello, sorry I haven't been around for a while, went away for our wedding anniversary, just a short break but it was lovely, feel very relaxed and chilled out smile

Sarah So sorry to hear about all the other crap you are having to deal with as well as your loss, how are you feeling now hun? YOur SIL sounds lovely, very deserving of an easy pregnancy (not) envy

Maz Have you made any decision about TTC yet? We decided after the first one to try straight away, like you said it's personal choice, if you feel like it then it's probably right for you - go for it girl wink

Sadminster What an insensitive friend you have angry

some people are so thoughtless aren't they? Did you test after or as AF arrived? At least you have some referrals through, have you long to wait?
Munchies & Mistle How are you both doing?
Hi to everyone else, not much to report, although did have a wobbly moment on holiday, we were sat in a pub next to a couple with a cute 3yr old girl and a newbie little boy, the girl didn't upset me at all, but the little boy must only have been a few months, and was so darn cute, I just started welling up (blush) very embarassing in the middle of a pub, I just kept thinking that I should have a 4 wk old baby or be 16 weeks pg and how unfair life is sad

But still onwards and upwards, just waiting for first AF to arrive.
smile

Sarah - been down route with Sil envy - although yours sounds a lot more of a problem! Dh and I chose the 'traditional' route of engagement, wedding, 1 year to 'ourselves' then start trying for a family. 6 mo after we start trying, BiL (not engaged) announces that they are expecting - wedding announced a couple of months later, and wedding at SiL 5mo pregnant. BiL is younger brother too. They managed to have 2 dds before ds came along. Mind you, ds has all the looks grin

even if I say it myself blush

Sadminster - hope you don't have to wait too long for your appointments...

Oops meant to say - got a couple of appointments through today. One at the recurrent loss clinic at JR (didn't ask to be referred there but I'll go anyway), and one at the Silver Star with teh maternal medicine dr.

Sarah rant away! She sounds dreadful angry

Sadminster, know exactly how you feel. My future SIL is constantly providing facebook updates on her pregnancy. I wish I could block her, but of course I'd hear about it.

Also, I had bought a nappy changing unit on ebay, just needed to pick it up on next visit to London. Since we don't need it anymore, we asked if SIL wanted it. I only paid £10 for it so wasn't bothered about money, but just didn't want negative feedback on ebay for not picking it up. They went and got it, and afterward I tried to cheerily say on FB to SIL 'glad you got it picked up, hope you like it'....her response was 'yeah, it's okay, a few scuffs but can't complain about the price'. No of course you can't, dumbass. She's one of these people that scoops up free stuff on freecycle, yet never puts anything up herself. I wouldn't be surprised if they are selling their freecycle finds at car boot sales.

It's probably my overactive hormones but I was really fecking annoyed at her response--I mean does she even remember WHY she's getting it? I hate her. She's a stupid 21 year old who's never done a hard day's work in her life, just going to sit around for the rest of her life and expects the government/my partner's brother to take care of her stupid, uneducated self. Plus she's done NOTHING to take care of herself/baby during this pregnancy---despite being told she's at risk for gestational diabetes, I've never seen her without sugary sweets, chocolate, or McLard stuffed in her gob. Have I mentioned I hate her? She also tries to compete with me all the time in really stupid ways, tries to make me look bad in front of future in-laws, goes on and on about the significance of having 'their first grandchild'. I could really scream. She's probably glad I miscarried. Wouldn't want any competition. I wish I could tell her how much my partner's parents dislike her. When I got PG, my future in-laws both told me separately that they were so much more excited about me being pregnant than SIL. They think their son could have done so much better and she is just dragging him down into her dole-scum lifestyle. But I won't say anything. I will just rant like a loon here, and put a frozen smile on my face and get on with it. arrgggghhhhhh.

*Rant Over*

Sorry everyone.....that anger comes over me every few days and I don't know what to do with it. I think ranting lessens the likelihood that I will explode in a big firey ball of anger/grief.

Hi Sadminster I am sorry u r having such a hard time at the minute. Your friends email was probably just her attempt to let you know she was thinking about you. One of my friends was trying to understand how I have been feeling recently (i.e. desperate to get pregnant again), she decided it must be like how she feels when she is desperate to go on holiday shock

(she goes frequently throughout the year!). I wasnt upset though, before I had a mc I could never have imagined the rollercoaster of emotions that you go through on a daily basis.

I think u should test, as u say just incase u get a BFP and need to start taking medicine. I know a BFN is crushing but at least it is an answer that with come with time anyway.

Take care xx

argh anyone around? Having a shit time - got emailed yesterday by the woman house dd shared ds1's due date to tell me she's 20 weeks pg with a little boy - bully for you (I didn't say) & an email for the woman who is pg & due within days of Toby's due date 'to see how I am' but actually just rambled on about herslf the whole time.

My period is three days late, I'm cramping like crazy (enough to want paracetamol), I'm tearful, had a tiny bit of spotting on Saturday but nothing since. It is extremely unlikely that I am pregnant, I probably didn't even ovulate last cycle. I don't want to test because I'm feeling so fragile, but I need to contact consultant to start meds asap if I am - I just want my period to start so I can move on. Haven't even got any tests so I'd have to go and buy one and I'm 99.99999999% sure I start bleeding within seconds on peeing on the bloody thing.

Feel like screaming.

Maz if you feel like trying now then why not?! I didn't but only because I had a feeling that my body wasn't 'ready', and because if Id fallen pg straight off I'd have coped even less well with the MC; felt too wobbly as it was really.

Sarah I'm sorry about the mortgage decsision, thats sh*tty news on top of everything else you have on your plate. Hope you can take some time off work and rest properly, sounds like you need it. I tried to go back to work too soon and just felt worse, but stupidly felt guilty for abandoning my watch. One of the only things that DID ghelp was watching loads of comedy dvds and that helped take my mind off things - get through the day.

hi pwcbird sounds like your body it just getting itself sorted out, i have heard lots of advice including try when you get home-when we left the hops! wait until after your first period and wait 3months, but i know everyone is individual!! cos im desperate to try now but dont know if its rite?!!xx

hi sarah 76 sorry yoour having bad time, i dont know whether my experience will help- i bled for 2weeks, sorry! i know you prob dont want to hear that now, but when i went back for my scan everything had come away so at least i didnt need any help or medical intervention. keep focussing on your wedding plans, and make sure you keep talking about everything and keep on mums net cos thats wot got me thro xx

Hi all. . .still bleeding about the same amount as a heavy/medium period and wondering when it will stop. Usually AF for me only is heavy for 1 day, but following the MC on Monday evening it just seems like this will go on forever (mind you it's only been 72 hours I suppose). It's not so much the bleeding bugging me as the cramping. I'm taking painkillers all the time because otherwise I just want to lie in bed and hug my hot water bottle, and I'd really like to get on with my life now please. We were going to go to a movie last night, but as I stood in line I started having bad cramps and we had to go home.

I'm being moany I think. Along with that we were told our mortgage for the house we were about to buy has been yanked away because they saw we were trying to borrow money elsewhere--never mind that we don't actually need it now and didn't borrow anything! So two dreams in the toilet in one week at the moment and just feeling a bit sorry for myself. We can appeal the decision, but it doesn't look good. At least wedding plans are going ahead for January.

pwcbird how are you today?

pwcbird no real advice but like Barbie says your body is probably just trying to work out what's going on and to recover. I would probably ring the GP if you need to put your mind at rest.

Barbie sorry about your miscarriage and the ERPC. Hope you're feeling a bit better soon.

hello pwcbird so sorry about your loss, i had a erpc done on monday and the consultant warned me i might have short/heavy periods in quite quick concessions, you body will be confused and you might bleed in time with your old cycle, pre pregnancy while your body is still trying to determine your new routine post pregnancy, if that makes sense? either way it can take up to 3 months for your body to sort itself out again...im sorry i dont know more for you just what i was told on monday, hope it settles soon for you xx

Hello everyone,
So sorry to see newbies here - it's so hard isn't it

Can I ask a question - sorry if a bit TMI in advance.

To remind briefly I had a mmc at 22 weeks 7 weeks ago. I delivered and also had a ERPC. 4.5 weeks later I had a period which was short (2-3 days) v.v. heavy and quite bright red. I was quite happy as I thought it was pretty good to get a period around 4 weeks after. However, today, day 17 of next cycle I have another period. The same, heavy, red and not at all clotty.

I presume that this is just letting me know that my body has not settled down yet. Does anyone else have advice? I'm not due to see my consultant until 21 October - so 3 months afterwards and gp advised not to try again until after seeing him as it was a late m/c.

I've always been super regular and am I being silly to worry about this? Thank you all xx

hi everyone so sorry sarah to hear of your experinece. miscarriage is horrible and yours sounds like you got a raw deal, keep talking to people and keep on mumsnet thats wot kept me going. how long is everyone thinking of waiting b4 trying again? im desperate to try again now but dont know wots best? the epac said wait until you get home b4 trying! not the best thing to say at the time but kind of funnyish now!??xx

Hi everyone. Just popped back to see how you all are doing.

Have just been to see my recurrent miscarriage consultant for the first time. A very lovely woman indeed. As I am in fact pg now, she can't do many of the tests that she would have done, but we did ask about the Liverpool research that Siobhan Quenby is doing on steroids and recurrent miscarriage. She spoke very highly of Ms Quenby and that she is extremely thorough and thoughtful and that it was an excellent research project.
Snoopdog has posted a link higher up but I just thought that the fact that other specialists in the field really rate Quenby's was worth noting.

Oops

Bloody computer angry

Sarah Glad to hear that it is going as "smoothly" as it can and don't need any intervention. It is so hard when your OH gets upset though isn't it, my DH was a rock first time round but this time he cried lots and it really shook me up, bless them. It is easier for them to return to normal though as it isn't their body going through and we unfortunately get the constant reminders hmm

But glad to hear that he is looking after you lots now, make the most of it smile

We tried straight away after the first m/c and got pg within 4 months, wasn't going to try straight away this time, my intentions are to wait til we have seen our consultant at the end of the month, but we have lapsed already! blush

I think you should just go for it, but just remember that although you may be physically ready, don't forget to be emotionally ready too x

But glad to hear that he is looking after you lots now, make the most of it smile

I think you should just go for it, but just remember that although you may be physically ready, don't forget to be emotionally ready too x

But glad to hear that he is looking after you lots now, make the most of it smile

I think you should just go for it, but just remember that although you may be physically ready, don't forget to be emotionally ready too x

Thanks for the welcome Mollie. I went for the scan this morning. Poor DP starting crying in the car on the way over--I think he was really rattled by going back there, where we'd had such good news on Friday and then such a bad experience on Monday. I think he'd only just gotten used to the idea of pregnancy after seeing it on Friday, and was sooo happy about it, so to have it yanked away like that really threw him. His boss has been great though, told him to stay with me and take as much time has he needs. DP plans to go back to work tomorrow.

The people at the Warrington EPU are soooo lovely. We had the same lady for the scan this morning who did the scan last Friday. After, the nurse talked to us and said since my uterus seems clear and I'm passing everything, we can start trying whenever we like. She also confirmed what I read about the first few cycles after a MC being more fertile. If I did get pg now it might mean missing my brother's wedding in the U.S. in June, but I really don't want to wait.

I asked if they had a picture of it from the scan on Friday since we didn't get one, but they didn't have it stored. I don't even know why I wanted it, but I kind of did. DP was not so sure. He's better this afternoon, thinks he just needed to get that out of his system. He's back to filling hot water bottles, bringing me snacks/drinks, and having snuggles.

Sarah Welcome, so sorry you have had to join us and to hear of your loss. You have had a terrible experience, I'm not sure I could cope with what you saw, so you must be very strong. Feel free to come and rant, cry or shout with us on here. I could be joining you at WW soon, as I need to lose rather a few stones too wink

Morning to everyone else smile

Hi, can I join you ladies? You come highly recommended from everyone on the Miscarriage threads.

I miscarried my first pregnancy (7 weeks) last night at the EPU. It was kinda horrible, because almost everything came out all at once in what can only be described as a 'fanjo burp'. I actually saw the gestational sac, which was pretty sad for me since only 3 days before I had a scan and saw the heartbeat. They said they were going to test it for abnormalities, which from others I gather I should feel pretty grateful for because a lot of people seem to have to wait for 2-3 miscarriages before any testing.

Little more about me, I'm 32, 'morbidly obese', and have PCOS. I lost a stone before I got pregnant, but not enough to put me back in the merely 'obese' category. I'll be back to Weight Watchers this week. The metformin has helped some with weight loss, and I'll probably go back to all my weird herbs that seemed to be helping make my cycles more regular.

So how soon can I expect to start ovulating again? I'm wondering if I will be having more anovulatory cycles, or if this will jump start my ovaries (obviously hoping for the latter).

Barbie Lovely to see you on here too smile

Calsworld I'm fine thanks, hope you're OK too, can't believe there is three of us off the March thread, how sad sad

lastbox It's such a horrible waiting game isn't it, and the pressure gets worse as the due date arrives. Perhaps you should plan to mark it in someway so that you can reflect on what has happened. After the first m/c we bought a rowan tree which is the tree of life and have planted it in the garden. DH got a similar tree tattooed on him, which is what he wanted to do. It might help maybe? smile

Hello ladies - I haven't been on here in ages, but just thought I'd pop in and say hi. Barbie so sorry for your loss sad

We've just entered our 6th month trying since our mc in March (waited one cycle to TTC) and still no joy sad

Due date is rapidly approaching and all I can think about is how I was 'supposed to be' huge by now <sigh> You're right Kingfix, it's really shit.

Barbie1 sorry to hear your news.
I'm feeling ok, thanks. Waiting for my first period too. I think I will still be in a nutty state of half-denial about mc until it comes.
Very sad to hear about those of you who have had several mc.

Hi Barbie, so sorry to see you here, but welcome at the same time. I was in March 09 AN with you, IIRC you had quite a rocky road at the start of the pg too - so sorry to hear your news. I had been following your mc thread, so know this past week has been a long road for you. I think you've been incredibly brave through it all smile

EI - sounds positive, fingers crossed here for you too!

Hi Mollie - how are you doing?

Kingsfix - Are you feeling any better?

hello ladies can i join you? im in need of some cheering up as ive just been released from 24 hours in hospital following a d&c for mmc at 11 weeks..its nice to read your positive thoughts...now only if my period would start!!! unfortuntly my periods were always so irregular so times bleeding for 6 weeks while other times waiting for 8 or nine weeks for it to arrive! just one of those things im told so im going to have to learn to be patient. hi again calsworld its seems we are following on the same path here! sure i was with you in march 09, glad to see you are ok x

EI You never know, it's not over til the red lady sings wink

Keeping (nearly) everything crossed for you smile

Calsworld First time it took me about 4-5 weeks for AF to appear, still waiting this time, had ERPC 4 wks ago today but I OV'd on Saturday so expecting AF sometime next week. Work will get easier, but don't worry if some days you just don't want to face the world. We all have different experiences and emotions, keep your chin up smile

Kingsfix Sorry to hear of your loss, how are you feeling now?
Mollie waves to everyone else smile

hi ladies

10dpo today and cd34 this is highly unusual for me to get to this point without AF and if i hadnt temped this cycle i would be convinced as usual that i am preg. my temp dropped a little today so i am fully expecting AF on thursday but who knows?? only time will tell i suppose smile

i hope every one is ok smile

xx ei xx

calsworld it has always taken 4-6 weeks for me to get my period. This time it was 41 days (I counted!).

Since there's no real chance of being pg this cycle I'm having a last hurrah - I actually got drunk last night & have woken myself up with two (gasp) cups of coffee this morning. For the first time in 10 years (except post birth/loss) I have no idea when my period is due.

Work has a habit of taking your mind off things at times, even when you'd rather snuggled on the sofa watching gmtv because you'd rather not face the outside world. Good luck with everything Calsworld. Sure my period took about 5 weeks to arrive, its quite bittersweet when it does of course.

Kingfx - very very sorry for your loss. Ongoing symptoms are extremely frustrating post MC. I remember most not the boobs thing but that it took me about 4 months to lose the 'tummy' I had gained during the pg. Best of luck getting pg again.

Hi all, sorry I've not posted much - still a bit raw here even though it seems like it all happened a lifetime ago (only two weeks though)

Kingfix - sorry for your loss, you're right, it is more than horrible, its a truly cruel element of nature. I only hope that I can be a stronger person with a better understanding of others' losses in the future.

I'm waiting for my period now, and understand it can take between 4-6 weeks, which seems to be really dragging in some respects, and yet flying in others.

I went back to work today for the first time, it started off OK but I cried a bit around lunchtime, then picked up again towards the end of the day. I think it will get easier from here.

Eis - hope you're holding out OK, and can resist the urge to POAS just a bit longer, but good luck smile

Sorry everyone for rubbish post...

Thanks everyone. MC really is horrible, isn't it? I just keep hoping I'll get pg again v soon, but... hope you are all having better luck.

hi ladies

kingfix so sorry for your loss sad

i had this feeling with my 2nd and 3rd MC re: the boobs. it seemed to be everytime my DD cried for about a week or so after i MC sad

it does go away though but it is not pleasant whilst it lasts xx take care of yourself xx
sadminster i am now 8dpo and getting quite anxious about testing so i know exactly what you mean smile

i hope everyone is doin well this weekend smile

xx ei xx

hi kingfix sorry to hear of ur loss, i had one similar time when i was 8 weeks ish. it took my boobs a few weeks to settle down as they were painful but r fine now. its so hard just waiting for a period so we can try again how long does it usually take? xx

Well my one pregnancy with steriods produced a live baby. Recent pregnancies have been

- aspirin + clexane + IVIg - m/c 15 weeks
- aspirin + clexane + prednisolone* - live birth
- aspirin - m/c 17 weeks

*steroid 25mg/day

Who really knows, I had the NK cell testing at the ARGC in London, my levels are slightly elevated but they rocket up in pregnancy (that is levels of NK cells in my blood, I believe that the trial is looking at levels in the uterus). Mr T treats with a very short course of steroid (dexamethasone) before pregnancy then IVIg infusions when you are pregnant. My NK levels went down nicely but I still miscarried, which may or may not have been the resuilts of NK damage. With my ds1 I didn't have the IVIg but added prednisolone in & had a live birth. With DS2 I followed my mc consultant's protocol & had another late m/c. Next time we're back to the steroids.

kingfix I don't know about beast changes after mc - I now that I have had that tingley let down feeling ever since I started breastfeeding my dd (8 years ago!). I'm sorry for your loss.

Hi Guys... made my appointment with my GP... 22nd Sept... just taking things one day at a time.... not unduly thinking / obsessing (Is that how it's spelt??) every minute. Not getting my hopes up...too much!

Does anyone know what the implantation bleed is like? I realise this is a werid question.. it's just that my last AF on 10th August only lasted one day at the most and wasn't very heavy. Please describe - though leave out all the horrid details please - feel a bit boakey!! (Boakey - a N Ireland word for feeling quite sick!)

scuse me for butting in, but has anyone got any advice/experience about breast changes after m/c? I had a first trimester miscarriage at the end of august and now my breasts feel like they are full of milk. Had a newborn visiting today and I had that full-on tingling/burning breast sensation I had when my first dd started bf. Is it all in my mind (wishing for a baby) or do your boobs do funny staff after m/c? It is making me miserable as it's even harder not to think about the baby when I feel like I'm making milk.

Thanks!

Just need dh to cooperate a bit more and you never know!

i think the point of the trail is it is not the 'normal' type of treatment smile

give lwh a call and ask for more details,

i really believe in them and i think nk has alot to answer from when it comes to m/c,

good luck x

Oh - its just I was told at recurrent mc unit that basically the normal treatments that they offer are all out for me at the moment which isn't terribly helpful... Might investigate further.

mistle,

nk cells and pres (sp) treatment is a steroid i think smile

That counts me out I think - can't have any hormone type treatment due to previous mp. Now don't seem to be able to have asprin either which is a bit hmm

- still not got to the bottom of whether there is any pain relief that I can take without ending up at A&E...

<<CRASH FOR SADMINSTER>>

(and anyone else with r/c m/c)

its jules here,

have you read this thread, give them a call

good luck to everyone here smile

<<as you were ladies>>

Sadminster - glad that you have had some positive news - although in some ways it doesn't help does it - I've been given the all-clear and told that there is no evidence of why mc keep on happening - but it doesn't help the fact that they have.

Anyway, hope that all the follow-up care will assist in keeping you less worried next time.

Sussex - molar pregnancy - ended up with 4 months of chemo, 6 months off work, 1 yr after end of treatment before being allow to ttc...Treatment was rough and I think that that might be putting dh off trying again, particularly after scare after 2nd mc...

Ds's first day was good yesterday - he ran in and I had to call him back for a hug and kiss. This mornign his first words to me were 'I want to go to my new school today' - and as soon as his teacher appeared he was at her side, then racing into the classroom. He has already got the idea of moving his name from his peg onto the board in the classroom.

My mother now knows why I am shattered all the time - I think that he is much harder work than I was at the same age! grin

Still don't know whether to bite the bullet and start getting rid of things. Not sure that I am quite ready to totally give up.

Dustin, that's excellent news - hope that you now have an uneventful pregnancy.

Hello woollyjo, I'm sorry about your losses. I've had 6 now, most recently a little boy at 17 weeks in July. I hope that your stay here is short.

Eis - congratulations on being post-ovulatory! wink

I always have a few days of not stressing at that point then start getting stressed out about testing blush

pwcbird count me with the furious at the way you've been treated crowd ((hugs))

We had our follow up appointment on Tuesday, been thinking a lot about it (I hate thinking hmm

). There was nothing wrong with Toby as far as they could tell - heart, brain, lungs etc all completely normal - although he was a little bit small. The placenta was developed properly too. All my blood tests were normal - no signs of infection (I'm immune to parvo, CMV & toxoplasmosis so at least I don't have to worry about catching them), no diabetes or impaired glucose tolerance, no antibodies, all my clotting was completely normal (pretty much the best results I've ever had), thyroid was normal hmm

All normal.

She said that if I was a newbie without my dire history that she would be extremely optimistic about my chances next time around, as it stands the fact that we have two living children is a positive thing but obviously I have all the losses too. She said it is fine to start ttc whenever we want and has referred me to the infertility/mc clinic for cycle monitoring to try and speed things up (although I won't get an appointment for months). In the next pregnancy the plan is I start heparin & prednisolone & increase the aspirin to 150mg/day as soon as I get a positive (I have the drugs at home already so I can do it asap) and call her immediately - she'll see me within three days & I'll have weekly appointments & scans throughout the pregnancy. If we make it that far she'll do my c-section no later than 38 weeks.

So I suppose it was good, no answers but she has done everything that I wanted her to wrt referral, drugs & scans etc. We're planning now to not try too hard (no charting or OPKs) for three cycles - that will get us past Toby's due date & our holiday, if nothing has happened by then (I'd be amazed if it had), I'll wean ds (he'll be 27 months) & we'll try more seriously.

hi ladies

PWCBIRD im so sorry to see you in here and sad

for what you have been through sad

unfortunately there are a few posting on here who have been through similar experiences to yours sad

if you dont mind me asking and feel free to not answer but was your baby a boy or a girl? sad

huge {{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}} xx
DUSTIN congrats on the scan and HB grin

im made up for you grin

woolyjo so sorry about your MCs sad

i have had 3mcs myself my most recent two were april and june so similar to you sad

i found this thread really supportive and still do so i hope you find us the same for you smile

hi to everyone else grin

it looks as if i have actually ovulated!! CD24 according to FF so i am 4DPO now and officially on the 11day wait for me smile

xx ei xx

Hi,

I think I may have found the right thread for me ... tell me please if I'm in the wrong place.

I have a dd (21 months) honeymoon baby, no effort, no probs.

2 MCs in the last 6 months (April & July) had my period ready/not ready to start again. Want to try but terrified of a 3rd MC.

Any one in the same boat?

pwcbird - I am 41 too so we just sort of got back in the saddle. I know the feeling, the need to be pg before due date and I wasn't. In the end it didn't matter to me so much as I thought. We had to take a couple of months off due to an infection I got and in hndsight it did help to get some distance from it all. I think your DH idea of some recreational bd is a good idea. smile

Thank you cece I didnt' read your message before I posted last one. Most people think that my aftercare (or rather entire lack of aftercare hmm

) has been utterly terrible. I've got the gp appt next Tues and I think I'll wait and see what she says and then decide from there. Thing is, day to day I'm fine - DS keeps me sane and you have to get back to normal. However I know that I'm not really as when the hospital rang about my 'missed' appt and I had to tell them I could feel it all well up inside. But then it's still only 6 weeks and that's pretty normal. Part of me just so wants to be pregnant before my due date (which was 30 Nov) as I know I'm going to find that tough but it's Sept already so think it's unlikely. Ahh well, we shall wait and see. I feel ok.

Thanks for your kind words. I'm ok (well kind of) and really just full of a mixture of things.Part of me desperately wants to get pg again which is why, now that I've had AF, DH is keen to get on the case. But there are so many unanswered questions on what happened, though probably/possibly I'll never know. And at 41 I can't really leave it for a year or something, and I can't really see if I do leave it 3 months or so what real difference it will make to how I feel. If something goes wrong again I think I'll feel pretty devastated whatever time has passed.
Dh says we should just be recreational on the BD front and see what happens rather than counting days etc if I'm still feeling unsure but that's mad because we all count our days and know our clock don't we even though they don't know what's going on!

pwc bird,

The treatment you have recieved is shocking!

I had a late mc at 18 weeks 8 months ago and the care I recieved was excellent.

In the week after I delivered I recieved 3 home visits from various mw.

I had weekly counselling starting about 4 weeks after the birth for 6 weeks. Could have had more but didn't feel I needed it. But have the option to return in any future pg. Just call them up directly. It is a special bereavment midwife team attched to the hospital.

The hospital arranged a beautiful funeral for my daughter.

I had follow up appointment with Gp and consultant who went through the pm. I have also been promised a whole schedule of extra scans when I get pg again.

I really think you should contact someone about your poor treatment. PALS maybe?

pwcbird I am so sorry about what has happened to you. Can't even imagine what you must be going through sad

Well molliemooma technically no it isn't. I had a very early mc about 7 years ago with a former bf. It was unplanned and I actually didnt' know I was pg until mc and wondering what on earth was going on!
Then met DH and decided to ttc and got pg 6 wks later and sailed through pg with hardly a twinge and 2yrs ago had lovely DS. So this time when had the 12 wk nuchal scan and everything was hunky dory I just thought it would be like with DS and didn't fret too much. I was more concernce with the nuchal, what with being older and once that was good I thought all would be well. So it was a terrible shock

. I suppose the gp will be able to help me with what happens in our area (I'm s. london).

pwcbird So sorry to hear what you have been through, I can't believe how lucky my treatment with the hospital and GP has been compared to others. Can I ask was this your first m/c?
I would at least think about contacting your GP to book an appt to talk to him/her about when to come and see them to discuss the PM results or to find out what happens generally. I can't believe you've just been left to fend for yourself sad

hello all,
I haven't posted much but do pop in and have a look quite often. Really just wanted to send ((hugs)) to everyone who are going through it right now.
I had a mmc 6 weeks ago at 22 weeks (though baby had died at 17). I had AF 4.5 weeks after delivery and ERPC and so now it's TTC week but I can't face it yet. DH keeps reminding me I am 41 and that our 'biggest risk' is putting things off. So far it's been no touchy touchy on that front

. Any advice anyone on how long to wait?

The other thing is how I've had nothing from anyone since the mc from the hospital/mw/gp. Should I have or am I being silly? We're still waiting for the pm and have no idea when it will arrive. I didn't have any tests and didn't realise that perhaps I should have asked at the time. This week had a call from my hospital on why I hadn't turned up for an appt (!!)and when I told her why she asked if I'd got my follow up gyni appt yet. I said no so she went to find out only to come back and tell me that I don't get one and that if I get pregnant again it's not guaranteed I'll be under consultant care even though I had a late mc. However, being an old bird I probably will becasue of my age. I've made a gp appt for next week and think maybe a chat with her will help. It's all such a conundrum!

Mistle LOL at DP "slipping" whatever you did that night, I think you should repeat next cycle too wink

Were you a little sad for your DS's first day at school, or were you brave grin

I think we're hoping that Sussex can get referred after 2 as she is over 40, I have read in a few places now that if you are over 35 and have had 2 m/c's they will refer you straight away, which is how I have got referred. I bet it was so frustrating having to wait so long, and the worry that it might happen again, no wonder your DP is reluctant, he saw the effect it had on you firsthand and is probably terrified about it happening again, would he ever consider counselling?
Sussex I'm West Midlands, where are you? Mind you I don't want you making me ill with your tequila's grin

Oh God, mistlethrush, I'm sorry to have to ask, but what is a mp? sad

I'm Up ' north...

Sussex - just be warned, I think that sometimes you have to have 3mc in a row with no sucessful pg in between before you get referred to recurrent mc unit. I was lucky ('lucky'?) that I got referred after only 2 in a row - I think that I got round the 3 in a row bit because the mc I had before ds ended in a mp which resulted in chemo and a year off ttc - then the first mc after ds took 3 months before it settled down - all the time me being absolutely terrified that mp coming back (much more likely to get it a second time once you have had it). Anyway, this was just so you don't have too high expectations on going to see Dr - but there is also no harm in asking.

However, being on the books of rmu rather accademic seeing as dh has decided not to cooperate at the moment (although he did 'slip' earlier in the week which was rather nice grin

but I think it was too early to stand any chance of +ve this month...)

Ds's first morning in school today - and I had an early meeting to had to abandon him early. Luckily, had to call him back to me for a quick kiss and hug, then he ran straight back into the classroom! grin

Me too!

I have been there before, though sad

.

Are there ever any MC Avengers' nights out, or are we pretty much spread around the country?

Sussex Well done grin

Loving the positive mental attitude smile

Well, thank God for Mumsnet and for you, sadminster and mollie. My GP is actually very kind, so maybe I misunderstood him, as I was in floods when I was there last and wasn't really listening properly. I think I remember asking for IVF, thinking somehow that if they can weed out the good ovums (ovae? ova?), we stand more of a chance! Spurred on by you, I have made an appt. with the doc for next week. We will sort this! We will! grin

Sussex LOL at the sofa dribble grin

Definately agree with Sadminster you should not be treated differently just coz you already have a dc! That's terrible, I think you should keep pushing, and don't leave it too long in case there is a big waiting list, in fact do it today!!! smile

Oh no sussexoldspot you should get a referral for mc investigation on the NHS regardless of number of living children you have (I've just been re-referred & we have two kids); it is only IVF (& in some places IUI) treatment for infertility that is rationed like that. If you needed it you (not you specifically) should even be referred for infertility investigation despite having children.

Don't let them fob you off - I've been treated in three different health authorities (& know loads of people who've had recurrent m/cs all over the country) - I've never seen referral being a problem if you have children.

mollie I'm very sorry! Nowhere have you misled me, I was just being gormless. Ooh, 36! Lucky you envy

. Well, when I said 'hitting' the tequila sunrises, I actually meant having one and a half, then falling asleep on the sofa, dribbling, at 8pm.

dustin my God what wonderful news. I could burst into tears of joy for you. All the very, very best for the 19th.

sadminster you've got it in one, there. Can't wait for 2008 to be over in Old Spotsville. I think we'll press for an immediate referral, but apparently we have to go private, as we are lucky enough to have DS already.

Dustin What fantastic news, I bet you're still in shock. We all thought the worst and then you turn up with such a wonderful outcome to your scan! Really really pleased for you smile

wishing you a very sticky beanie
Sadminster Sorry to hear you've missed your opportunity this month, we've decided much the same thing, just see what happens for a couple of cycles try not to obsess stress about TTC (yeah right) hmm

Definately roll on 2009 as this year has been shite! Thanks for the info on the tests by the way smile

Sussex I feel guilty now that I might have mislead you blush

I'm not on the 40+ TTC thread as 36 so not quite as wise and experienced as you just yet grin

Same thing happened to me with letters after the event, both times, timing sucks doesn't it! I'm impressed with you hitting the hard stuff - Tequila - you go girl wink

Graet news DUSTIN, you must be really pleased!

Hello everyone, sorry so many are having a hard time.

I haven't been around for a few days as just wanted to take my mind off everything. I went to the EPU yesterday for my scan and I couldn't believe it- they found a heartbeat grin

. I just burst into tears when they told me. I have another scan booked for the 19th Sept so I am keeping everything crossed it works out this time.

Hey everyone.

Sussex - I'm really sorry, I remeber getting my 20 week appointmet in the post after I mc at 14+, really upsetting. Here the protocol is referral after 3 losses before 8 weeks, 2 between 8-12 weeks or after 1 loss after 12 weeks. I think it's worth pushing though a GP can reffer at any point if they think it would be helpful for you.

Mollie - antiphospholipid syndrome (APS), I've been dignosed (kind of) on the basis of my hisory & a couple of slightly elevated antibody levels. I completely get the desire to have an answer but you have a better live birth rate if the you don't have it & the cause of your losses is unknown IYKWIM. Sucks though. Oh the lupus/anticardiolipin tests should be repeated 6 weeks after your first set.

Dustin how are you?

Well I think I ovulated around day 18 (+ve OPK, some EWCM). Have been really upset about it - dh was ill so no chance of anything happening - even though we weren't supposed to be trying this cycle. I am rapidly getting into a complete state about ttc so we've decided to have three cycles without charting & OPKs, lots of sex mid cycle, I need to lose some wight and then see where we stand. We have a holiday planned for January & we'll be passed Toby's due date (Christmas Eve sob) by then so hopefully the new year will bring better things.

Ooh, thanks sparks! I must admit, that since mc2, I have hit the tequila sunrises big time .....

Hi there mollie. Yes, I am a very old bird indeed - am 41 next month. Are you on the ttc over 40 thread, too? Thanks for that - I'm going to leave it a week or two, then see my GP and ask for a referral.

Got nuchal scan date in the post today, cancelled it, had a good bawl, then waddled off to the crisp cupboard. A huge hug and a large bowl of Carte d'Or is no substitute, but it helps, thank you very much! [seriously overweight emoticon]

Been away over weekend so just dropping in to say -Sussex - am so sorry to hear your news. Hope you're enjoying a large g 'n' t with those crisp sandwiches. As moolie says, I think if you're over a certain age you can maybe get a referral after 2 mcs..certainly worth asking about.

Maz -sorry you've had to join too, although this is a great thread.

And HUGE congrats on the BFPs....

Right, I've learned my lesson - not to leave you girls too long, so much to catch up on shock

Sadminster Good luck for tomorrow, hope you get some answers and its not too distressing for you
Dustin sad

So sorry to hear what you have been going through. How are you doing? How did it go today at the EPU?
Calsword Have you managed to convince DH yet? Thanks for asking, my counselling session went really well, I can't wait to go back on Weds, we did some relaxation and emotion therapy which really seamed to help smile

Oh and you are so not a fraud grin

Joy Sorry she got you sad

Mistle How are you hun, feeling any better?
Sussex sad

Pants! Can't believe you're back with us so soon, so sorry, would a hug help, or an even bigger crisp sandwich? smile

You asked about referrals, can I ask how old you are? I have been referred to a consultant after 2 m/c's but that is because I am over 35. If you are under 35 then the protocol is usually 3 unfortunately. I knew one day I'd be glad I'm an old bird! smile

Wook Unfortunately the crap thing about all this is that just when you think you're doing OK, something comes along and hits you for six. Hope you're feeling a little better
Maz So sorry you had to join us. My AF after first m/c took about 5 weeks, doctor told me I could try straight away as they only tell you to wait for AF so that it's easier to date your pg. So if you feel ready go for it girl wink

Nauseous & DiveDaisy Congratulations, here's hoping for a long and sticky pg for you both
EI What a shit cycle for you hun, hope you're not too worn out wink

just in case that egg comes along

I had my first day back at work last Friday, opened my drawer to be confronted with all my MS cures, biscuits, breadsticks etc, then had loads of sympathetic people gather round my desk, needless to say I spent the first half hr in the loo sobbing! After readjusting mascara I just got on with it but it was hard. Had my blood results back today, the doctor decided to pre-empt the consultant and do tests for ALP (I think that's the long name anti aph? something) Lupus and blood glucose. All came back clear and normal, part of me is relieved, part of me is disappointed that they couldn't say "oh yes you have such and such so if we give you so and so you'll be fine next time" and life will be smiley again. Maybe I'll have better luck with the consultant, although I'm convinced they will just say it's bad luck angry

Mollie apologises for long winded post but there was so much to catch up on and waves to anyone not mentioned smile

Nauseous, lol, no - it was a bit of a hurried post and it doesn't seem to make much sense now!

The reference to adoption was because I've never paid much attention to the endo, just kind of figured what would be, would be. It wasn't linked to the next paragraph...

Which was trying to say that whilst it is a remote possibility that endo / hormone issues could have caused the mc its unlikely that I would get any tests to check it until I'd been through 3 miscarriages.

Divedaisy congratulations and good luck smile

Congrats Divedaisy!! I know what yo mean about not wanting to focus on every niggle...

just popped into say congratulations to nauseaous and divedaisy. No news here. AF due anyday!

Hi again. Some of you will rememeber me from April when I had and ercp. We'll you're the first to know - due 17th May. Just 4 weeks... Sore boobs - well to be exact - very very sore bloated boobs! Will take anything. THis one feels good. May not post much as I want to keep calm about everything and not dwell on every niggle etc. Just thought I'd share my Happiness... and fears too!!

Lotsa luv xx

Calsworld sounds like we had similiar endo issues. Re your last point - do you mean that in those circs you wouldn't be able to adopt ... I'm not sure if I've I read that right...? (Sorry if I have)..

Nauseous, I was diagnosed aged 25 - pouch of douglas sounds spot on - same as you, agonising bowel movemnents in the lead up to a period and then just weird the rest of the time. I wasn't offered the surgery as it wasn't considered likely to affect my fertility given that at that time I was expecting to have kids within 2 years hmm

. I didn't have problems ttc first time round, I was just too busy partying and having fun and getting married and paying bills, as you do. I was a bit nervous about being able to conceive, but all my life I've had it in the back of my head that I might consider adopting so kind of thought one way or another we'd be OK.

With the guidelines of 3 mc's before investigation, its unlikely I'd get anyone to take me seriously on this line if the next pg (assuming I can get pg again) doesn't stick.

Eis - hope things become clearer for you soon. No consult experience I'm afraid.
Sussex - can't advise on protocol for 2 MCs. Hope you get some decent help though. Calsworld I was dignosed in 03, at age of 26, with moderate endo in pouch of douglas - sounds like hook... yep btw vagina and rectum... so probably the cause of wierd bowel movements ever since things got bad...(sorry TMI) I had laser surgery at dx point, and then took the Pill 'back to back' until last August. Had NO pain and no periods all that time it was pretty wonderful to be honest. I conceieved 5 mo later and had an MMC at 11.5 weeks(9.5 weeks). Can I ask roughly old you were when you were diagnosed?

I'm considering taking baby aspirin to ward off any MC - but I am stabing in the dark as I don't know the cause of the MC and with 1 they won't investigate of course. But I'd do anything not to have an MC again.. however I don't know if endo is classed as a bleeding disorder...I'm sure the GP will think I'm barmy but I couldn't carer less really, its worth asking their advice I reckon.

Congratulations nauseous! I think it's news like yours that keeps the rest of us going!

May I ask for some advice? What am I supposed to do after 2 mcs? Should I be going to my GP and asking for tests to be done, or do we just carry on ttc in hope? What did everyone else do? Thanks!

hi ladies

nauseous congrats on your BFP grin

to those who have sadly MC sad

im so sorry sad

lots of love and take care of yourselves sad

xxx
well im on cd25 and i still havent ovulated hmm

me and DH are worn out with the sex for no good reason except to cover the bases just in case an egg does decide to show its face hmm

i doubt very much wether i will actually ov this cycle now and just want AF o arrive so i can start to obsess TTC a new cycle smile

i have had my consultants appointment through to see mr farquharrson in LWH on 22nd sept has anyone had any experience of this consultant? iv heard he is quite good but some character refs would be good grin

ok enough from me smile

hows everyone holding up?
xx ei xx

Hi Nauseous, congrats on your bfp! grin

.

Chinese and wine was good, although overdid the vino a bit and paid for it yesterday blush

.

Re endo, it was dx in 2001 as 'moderate', with it predominantly being located at the back of my womb and around my bowels (hook of something?). As I knew we were planning kids, I didn't want to go down the hormone treatment route they offered, so instead I tri-cycled the pill. I conceived DS in March 06, first month of trying and had no significant problems during pg.

When ttc second time, it took six months and I was just starting to wonder if the endo was causing a problem when I got my bfp. Unfortunatly it ended at 11 weeks and I'm currently waiting for my first AF following mc before ttc again.

How about you?

Hello ladies, I am so sorry to hear everyone's having such a rough time at the moment especially wook, sussex and maz. Calsworld, hope you enjoyed the red wine and chinese... with regards to your endo do you mind me asking which stage endo you have and what age you coceived your first child?

It actually seems indecent to say that I got a BFP on Friday. Bit of a surprise as zero symptoms apart from having no appetite. Just been getting used to the idea, and feeling quite scared. Went out last night and didn't drink so it had beter be worth it - ie be a sticky one this time. Good luck to you all.

maz really, really sorry for you. I had to ahve 3 d&cs just to get up straight after a mmc at Christmas and couldn't even consider trying again until at least May, as was close to depression. This time, we are just going to give it a month or so before starting again (I'm 41 at the end of October and am starting to feel the pressure a little).

wook thank you for your kind words and I totally empathise. My SIL (who I don't really get on with) and I both conceived at the same time last year and they had a lovely, perfect, healthy baby girl at the end of July. Of course, I'm happy for them, but a small part of me...well, you know sad

Maz and Sussex, I am so, so sorry for you both.

Maz, I'm afraid I can't answer your question as I only mc last week and have only, finally stopped bleeding today - which feels like a tremendous milestone and hopefully, another door, in a long corridor, that I can close.

Wook, thank you for your understanding - please stay strong, my EDD was 26th March so not too far away from yours - you never know, we may well be carrying LO's by then which would be some comfort at least, I hope?

Have had a lovely chinese takeaway and am supping on red wine to achieve ultimate relaxation after soaking in two baths today - greedy girl! blush

sussex I am so sorry to hear this, awful.
I understand how calsworld feels about being a fraud in a way when so many of you have been through so much. I totally understand what sussex says though about this thread giving hope, it's a lifeline for me just to know that others have experienced what I have, and worse, and it's up and down, but everyone is still here and still with hope.
For my part, I have gone almost back to square one, having just got an email from a friend saying she's due on March 20th having just had a successful scan. I am absolutely delighted for her, especially as she had an m/c at 7 wks before this pg, and her story gives me lots of hope too. But my due date would have been March 9th ish and so just reading her due date has had me in floods, after a week or so of feeling so much more positive. Ho hum!

hi ive had to leave knicker checkers, can i join u guys? had drawn out mc few weeks ago and final appointment at hosp today, hormone levels now showing negative pg test at last. how long has everyone waited b4 trying again? and how long did it take for ur 1sr period after mc? xx

Oh bugger, guys, I'm back already, after just a few days on Knicker Checkers - maybe I didn't take enough velcro with me sad

, but at least this time it wasn't a mmc.

Just trying to be positive about the future and eating huge piles of crisp sarnies.

All the very best of luck to everyone on this thread. I've been lurking in the shadows for ages, just started posting, and it has given me so much hope.

Dustin, sorry you can't get seen any earlier, its horribly frustrating. Could you go to A&E and get a referral to EPU from then? Would it be quicker?

Thanks everyone for thinking of me.

Sadminster sorry you have had such a hard time. Good luck with silver star- hope they can help you.

Calsworld you are not a fraud. It is hard for anyone having a mc. Good luck ttc.

I rang my doctor to refer me to the EPU (we can't self- refer here). Unfortunately the EPU is very busy and they can't fit me in until monday. Just feel really worried that it is happening again.

Hi Nauseous, I too have endo. I conceived OK first time around but it took me 6 months of ttc to conceive 2nd time around and I mc at 11 weeks. I had been planning on going to see the doc if I hadn't got pregnant as with endo, the advice is to go sooner rather than later.

I feel a bit of a fraud posting here when so many of you seem to have been through so much, I really can't find the words, you're all so brave.

Dustin I hope you're OK
Sadminster - getting the results must be quite nervewracking - I hope they tell you something useful
Mollie hope that infection is getting better now and that the counselling session was helpful yesterday
Sparky - a belated congratulations on your BFP
joy - I hope you're counting down the days ready to start BD again smile

DUSTIN hope you're as well as you can be. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Sadminster - I hope you get somewhere with the Silver Star Unit. Is this the first lot of assistance you've had?? I'm sorry I don't know your background.

My AF is due on Sat so I'm getting fidgety and distracted. Thank god for work or I'd be a mess. Despite reading somewhere that endo women only have a 2% chance of conception per month,I'm still secretly hoping that this is the month. Hmmph. We'll see. Wonder if can hold off of testing till Sunday when my weekend guests have gone? BTW- Anyone else here with endo?

Hi everyone, congratulations to all the positives! I hope you have happy pregnancies, the anxiety after a mc can be hard to deal with.

Dustin, I hope you're okay, it's horribly scary.

kate2179, I'm so sorry you lost Thomas, it's gut wrenching isn't it. I had a feel okay day today then just crashed this evening - crying, sad, scared, guilty, tired, angry. Wish it would get easier some time soon.

I have an appointment with the consultant who deals with bereavement & my midwife next Tuesday, we'll get the results of my blood tests & also Toby's post mortem results. I'm feel quite anxious about it. I've also been referred to the Silver Star Unit at the JR in Oxford - they specialise in women with shit obstetric histories (Toby was my 8th pregnancy

). Unfortunately the dr I need to see is on holiday for the next two weeks but we have an appointment for as soon as she comes back.

I'm on CD14 - OPks are getting darker, but no real fertile CM yet, I expect I'll ovulate somewhere around CD17. I've never managed to conceive when I've ovulated as late as that so I'm not hopeful & tbh I'm still feeling pretty scared and ambivalent about the whole ttc business. I'm almost as scared of being pregnant as of not IYKWIM.

hi ladies

mollie sorry about the infection sad

i hope you are feeling much better soon smile

DUSTIN congrats on your BFP smile

so sorry you think this one may not be a sticky one sad

i hope you are wrong and the brown spotting is your little bean burrowing in deeper holding on tight for the long ride ahead smile

joy so sorry AF arrived sad

good luck for this coming cycle smile

im still waiting to Ov hmm

im on CD22 now and still nothing!! hmm

me and DH have been ahem...BDing like demons wink

son our bases are covered if an egg does appear hmm

i have no idea what is happening with my cycles recently hmm

hope everyone else is doing well grin

xx ei xx

Sparky, am in a constant state of knicker checking. Again! I am knackered beyond belief and I am still getting twinges too, but I think that is the uterus stretching or something. I remember having these twinges in my last 2 in the early weeks. I had heartbeats at 7 week scans so I wouldn't worry too much yet- easier said than done I know!

PS - Ladyhelen - how are you feeling? I have no symptoms at all other than AF like cramps so am convinced of the worse already....

Dustin how you feeling? Have you decided what to do? As mistle said at least if you go it's on your records...although of course as we all know, there's very little you can do about it

Have everything crossed for you.

Mistle - how you feeling?

Joy - damn the evil witch wink

Dustin - how are you doing? Hope you are wrong and its not about to happen again. Have you gone to your EPU yet? Am keeping y fingers crossed for you.

Dustin - sorry that this appears to be happening again.

The positive things about going - you get it on your records - the negative things we know too well. However, probably better to make sure that all is OK afterwards (speaking from experience here) - even if you ring them up now and ask whether it would be possible to come in in say a month to get the OK after the event?

Hugs xxx

Thanks Joy.Sorry about your AF- Good luck for next month.

I think I will have to go but I am just so fed up of being prodded about with.

Dustin- don't know what to say... So sorry if it's happening again. Personall- and this is just me- I would probably head to the EPU just to be sure. But honestly? It is your body and you know what's best for you. Really hope you're wrong about the mc though... Fingers crossed.

As for me, I woke up with cramps. Period has arrived bang on time. Ah well. Am not too upset really. We've only been trying since May.

Maybe next time.

Sparky Congratulations!

Mistlethrush sorry you are feeling down. Take care.

I am 2 weeks late so I thought I had better test. I got a BFP but I think it is over already as I am getting a bad stomach cramps and brown discharge. Maybe I shouldn't have tested and I could have stayed unaware and just thought it was my AF coming sad

. I have been though it 3 times before so I know the signs. If it is going to happen then there is nothing I or anyone else can do so I don't think I will go to EPU this time I will just let whatever is going to happen happen. Does that sound mad?

Calsworld not sure if I'm the best person to respond as dh has effectively prevented any chance of another mc... Its amazing how effective the counting method can be if they really don't want to 'put you through it' again - even better, don't try at all - much easier to go to sleep hmm

Being slightly more constructive, why don't you give yourself (and him) a month off - hopefully this will take some of the pressure off him. I think that the higher fertility following a mc doesn't wear off immediately, so hopefully you'll still be able to take advantage of it in a month or two.

Hi everyone, is it OK if I join you? I had a mc last week and am wondering what happens next for us (DH and I).

I am very, very lucky to have one DS already (aged 21 months) and whilst I'm fairly sure I'd like to get straight back on with ttc, DH is really hesitant. He says he's worried about me having to go through this again. With it all being so recent, I don't want to rush into any decisions...but yet I feel like I know its what I want.

Does anyone know what I'm trying to say? How do you know? How do I convince DH?

Congratulations to everyone that's got their BFP's recently too smile

Sparky bloody hell! That is great! Another one! Congrats to all of you- wonderful, wonderful.

Nauseous, I'm in much the same place as you, cycle and testing wise. Not symptom-spotting, and anyway have had no symptoms at all. Due on probs tomorrow or thereabouts (my cycles are an unknown quantity!). Almost don't want to test because I am so sure it will be negative. Am going to wait until the weekend.

Anyway am going on holiday next week, so if I'm not up the duff, at least I can sample the local wine and delicious cheeses!

Mistlethrush sad

sorry you are feeling so blue. No advice really, just hugs.

Mistlethrush - i'm so sorry you're feeling low at the moment. Sending big hugs.

Molliemooma - shame asbout the infection, at least you've got something to get rid of it. Not sure what your consult's regarding - but good luck.

Just back from the doctors armed with antibiotics for an infection, great! But having bloods taken on Thursday before my referral to consultant at the end of the month, so things seem to moving quite fast, which is a good thing as it's keeping me busy and distracted, first counselling session tomorrow too smile

Sparky Huge congratulations to you, will keep everything crossed for a long and sticky pg for you grin

mistle sad

sorry to hear your feeling down
Munchies I have to second Kate that does sound suspiciously like implantation bleeding grin

Wook I know what you mean about the first AF after m/c, like others have send it is the start of a new chapter and it means your body is back to "normal" which is always a good sign.
Joy Good luck on the 2WW, let's hope TEW stays away smile

Kate What book have you ordered hun? You know me nosey grin

nauseous It's not over til the red lady sings, so you never know wink

With regards to your EDD, going away and having endless amounts of sex sounds like a really good idea to me wink

However you decide to spend the day, I'm sure will feel right for you. My DH got a new tattoo, so now he's got an excuse for another one (damn just thought of that!) I bought a tree, a rowan tree which means tree of life. Not decided what to do to mark 2nd m/c yet, will decide later on closer to EDD maybe. Hope you have a lovely time whatever you decide to do smile

Lots of congrats all round.

I think I've almost resigned myself to ds being an only one... sad

Afternoon, was just lurking and saw all the BFP's! Wonderful news. There's so many this is fab. Congratulations Sparkly, Aquababe LadyHelen & Sussex.

munchiesmama I'm hoping that's implantation bleeding you've got there!

I'm due on at the weekend, and even though we BD'd a lot this month I've got a tummy bug so not sure my body would be in a good enough state this month anyway... I have zero symptoms. And have convinced myself that symptom spotting is a mug's game - for me anyway though sure its cool for others - I found it just gave me false hope. My due date's coming up so I'm trying to distract myself from that. We've decided to go away that weekend and have lots of sex just for the sake of it. Any other ideas anyone?

Congratulations Sparkly!! How exciting BFP's seem to be infectious at the minute!!

Kate you have got me excited!! When u suggested implantation bleeding I remembered that I did have that with 1st pregnancy......oh please, please wink

. Trying to remain calm as having period type pains......grrr this ttc business does my head in! How is your ttc going?

How is everyone else doing?

sssh, almost don't want to say this as AF isn't due for 3 more days...but have done 2 CBD tests and ....BFP

starting to wory already (Daisy I'll be lurking on knickercheckers I think!) as I'm not even 4 weeks....are the high hormone levels a good sign? Or will I come crashing to earth with AF and I suppose a CP in a few days time....I am such a worrier!!

but in the meantime....baby dust all round!!

Thanks Popsy - you gotta love mn, you're the 2nd person to offer to lend me a copy this afternoon! grin

Sadly I've already been on amazon and ordered a used one for about £1.99 plus p&p or something silly, but thank you so much for the offer! Was having a nosey on your fb page the other day, am obsessed with looking at other people's bumps blush

! and was mighty impressed by your album! All those little suits are just too cute for words! I really hope things continue to go smoothly for you, gives me hope that one day it might be me! xxx

munchie don't want to get your hopes up, but that sounds like just about perfect timeing for an implantation bleed to me... hmm

what does everyone else think?

wook I know exactly what you mean about af turning up feeling like the start of a new chapter. I was so pleased to get my first af after my erpc that I actually texted DH to tell him... blush

Fingers crossed this is the start of a much happier time for you smile

It is so lovely to read of all those BFPs, really gives me hope. Congratulations all round.
I feel oddly much better today because AF has paid her first visit since the mc. I don't know why this should have me feeling better but it just has, I suppose it kind of marks the end of that chapter and the beginning of ttc in earnest now. (well in about ten days' time anyway!) Is that weird?
Who knows whether I'll have any luck but at least I can try- and still in time to maybe have a Gemini! (Not that that's a primary concern!)

Mollie welcome back!! I can never stay away either, it drives DH mad grin

Joy I am on the 2ww too....but I think the game might be over already, although i only ovulated last weekend I had a tiny bit of blood today, its stopped now but maybe my cycle is still messed up from the mc - boo! Well I suppose it would have been to much to ask to get pregnant this quickly!

*Waves a big hello to all the other lovely ladies*

Kate gatecrashing here to say I have that book you are after and will send it to you if you like? Is on my shelf and staring at me while I lay in bed chanting healthy and well...healthy and well. If you would like it you can give me your address on FB and I'll pop it in the post tomoz?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Mollie, thank you for your fb message, will get back to you properly in a bit, just wanted to say that I'm pretty sure what you described also happened to me after my erpc, although I don't remember any pain. Eventually I phoned the mw and the hospital just to check it was 'normal' and they basically said that as long as it seems to be tailing off (ie just spotting), and doesn't hurt or smell bad [grim-emoticon grin

] then don't worry. They said if it was still happening after 2 weeks to call them again. I think it lasted about 10 days in all... If you're worried then call them, that's what they're there for after all! They may want to have a look at you just to check you haven't got an infection. HTH! Lote of love xx

Wow, brilliant BFPs everywhere! Congratulations and fingers crossed to aquau oldspot and ladyhelen.
Best of luck with your pregnancies!

Hey sparky and anyone else on the 2ww, how is the waiting going? I have realised that I'm (probably) due on 4th Sep, not 5th as I said before. I don't have a single symptom- boobs fine, no nausea, no implantation-type spotting. I'm rather over-emotional, but that could be down to any number of things. So I really don't think it's happened this month, and actually that is OK with me. It's still less than 2 mths since the mc, and less than 4 mths since I came off the pill, so I'm willing to be patient.

How about you?

Hello again, thanks for the nice welcome, dh took me away for a few days to cheer up so haven't been on MN. hairytoe ooh dear your friend was a bit thoughtless there, poor you!

Hello ladies, had a bit of a break from MN, come back and all hell has let loose! shock

Three BFP's congratulations to Aquababe LadyHelen & Sussex well done girls, and good luck, here's hoping you all have very long, sticky, healthy pregnancies! smile

Sorry to see so many new people join us too, but a big hello and welcome to you all.
I wonder if I can ask some advice? I had my ERPC two weeks ago tomorrow, now the first one I had I only bled for 2 days and then spotted for about another 3, much the same this time but after a day of nothing, started bleeding again and spotting ever since, been having some pains in my tummy too. Anyone else experienced this?

Congrats Ladyhelen2 and Sussex, lovely news for both of you

No news here, cd21, so just waiting now to see what this cycle brings hmm

Knicker Checkers Anonymous? My God, that's me. Every 10 minutes. Thank you, daisy and ladyhelen (many congratulations to both of you, too!), I will head on over there, having helped myself to a large amount of velcro from here, first!

sussex congratulations on your BFP too. I'm going to be posting on here and also on the "Knicker Checkers Anonymous " in the pregnancy topic thread for the next few weeks. Check them out ( no pun intended) too. Maybe I'll see you over there?

Hi sussexoldspot - welcome and congratulations. Hope it's a sticky bean. Please do also feel free to join us for knicker checking at

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/49/543447

for those of us pg after mc. Is this your first?

btw, I'm probably being stupid, but when I cut and paste URLs I can never get them to turn into proper links. Advice most welcome!
x

Hi there - may I join in? I've just got a BFP after a long, drawn out MC that started at Christmas and am swinging between worry and panic (I'm coming up to 41). Am usually one who lurks around in the shadows, rather than posts on MN, but have plucked up a bit of courage! This is a great, supportive thread smile

Thank you everyone!
Its still sinking in. I've not even worked out EDD yet. I can't quite believe it. I'm going to start taking baby aspirin today. Absolutely no alcohol, no going to the gym (swimming instead?) and lots of crossing everything that this one is a stayer.

ladyhelen - congratulations, that's wonderful. I was just lurking here, to see how everyone was. Hope it's a sticky one, and that the weeks don't go to horribly sloooowly. I'm 9+6 today, and I've already had two scans - it has helped a lot, but I'm reaching the time of my mc at 11 weeks and having the occasional flashback. I don't think the worry goes completely till you have a baby in your arms (and even then that's probably just the start of it smile

CONGRATULATIONS! Getting all my velcro out to send extra stickiness your way! xx (if only it was that easy....)

hi ladies

just a quick one to say an ENORMOUS!!! CONGRATS to ladyhelen grin

im so happy for you smile

hi to everyone else smile

xx ei xx

I am supposed to be doing my housework but couldn't resist popping in to say congratulations to aquababe and LadyHelen grin

ladyhelen - how lovely to have a bfp. Good lucky and sending sticky vibes smile

LadyHelen Congratulations! Sooooooo pleased for u!!! grin

Fingers crossed for the most sticky little bean.

Morning ladies. So sorry to see new faces here. But this is a great board for all of us in the same boat.
I thought I'd come on early as have some news.....I got a BFP this morning. I had a suspicion that I may be as I have been having "twinges" since a week last Thursday, and despite a BFN on Tuesday, there it was this morning (one of the test ones sent out by mumsnet and clear blue).
SO ,whilst thrilled, I know the next few weeks, are going to be very long. I've an appointment with the recurrent miscarriage specialist in 2 weeks - made long before the BFP - so I'll update you if you'd like with how that goes. I jst hope this one is a stickey one. This will be my third pg this year alone.
Hope there will be some more BFPs here soon.
xxx

Hi Cece, had been thinking I haven't seen you around for a while, how you doing? smile

Ok-ish here, you know how it is... xx

Ei really glad your appt went well in the end, doesn't sound like you would have got to see the consultant, or at least not so quickly, if that nurse hadn't been so useless, so hopefully she did you a favour. Cow. grin

I was amazed how much blood they took from me, didn't think I'd have any left smile

See you over in the room later xx

hi ladies

pcwbird, wook maybebaby so sorry for your losses sad

you will find some excellent support and friendship here smile

aquababe congrats on your BFP grin

i had my appointment this afternoon at the recurrent MC clinic. i was the last appt of the day for the clinic and when i was called through (45 mins late hmm

) i was told the nurse who i was supposed to be seen by had gone home and i wouldn't b able to have my appointment shock

they took my bloods though and were really thorough as they took about a pint smile

and i am booked i ti see the consultant in 6 weeks time smile

i came out of the 'appointment' feeling happier than perhaps i should have done but i feel like at least something is now going to change in my favour smile

hi to everyone else grin

i hope to see a few more BFPs soon smile

xx ei xx

pwcbird and sadminster - could not leave your posts unanswered. I too lost my baby (last Dec) at 18 weeks so know something of how you are feeling. Did you see your baby? Was the baby a boy or girl? What was their name?

I had a little girl and we called her Hope. I hope you are getting some support from the bereavement midwives, they were a great help to me afterwards. sad

Aqua - great news smile

kate - wondered how you were? Hope your appointment goes well.

hairy toe we`ve been trying for 15 months luckily I have a 2yr old dd already .
It`s amazing the amount of pregnancy announcements you hear once you've mced and how many feel like a stab to the heart. my bf announced her pregnancy the same weekend I was mcing my 2nd(she didn't know). that was tough.

********baby dust*******

Evening ladies smile

Haven't posted on here for a while, and I'm sorry to see so many new faces, though I'm thrilled to hear your news Aqua!! Fantastic! grin

For those of you who don't know me, I had my first mc last november - mmc detected at an early scan (cos I was impatient blush

) which it then took another 4 weeks to confirm, followed by an erpc. We waited one cycle post mc before ttc and I was lucky enought to get pg the first month. Sadly we lost our little boy, Thomas, at 17 weeks at the end of April sad

. I have spent the last few months re-grouping physically and mentally and just about feel ready to start tryng again.

I've been lurking for a while, keeping an eye on you all wink

but I just wanted to post especially to sadminster and pwcbird as your losses were around the same time we lost Thomas and I have some idea what you have both been going through. I honestly don't know how I would have got through these last months without the support I have received from mn, I hope you find as much comfort from these wonderful ladies as I have smile

Sadminster your story resonated with me especially as, had things turned out in the way we hoped, Thomas would have been a Toby sad

. In the end we decided to 'save' the name, I hope that doesn't sound odd/heartless.

Have either of you been offered any support from the medical profession? Do you know what caused your mc's? I have been very fortunate this time, we met a really great consultant through having a private 12 week scan with him then when everything started to go wrong we stayed with him, transferring to the nhs. I had a lot of blood tests back in June (about an arm full hmm

...) and I am hoping to get the results in the next week or so. I have also become quite involved with a naturopathic centre near us, I just needed to feel like I was doing everything I could to help my body (hopefully) one day make a healthy baby.

I will be thinking of you both in the coming days and weeks, hopefully by this time next year all our lives will be very different smile

pwcbird - I know what you mean about being 'ready' to TTC. Although my miscarriage was early so I have not had nearly such difficult experiences as you, sadminster and others on this thread. I had a CP the month before as well.

I'm very lucky to have had two dcs before - both pregnancies went without a hitch. This time if/when I get pregnant its going to be so different. Even if I do get a BFP I think I'll be more nervous than excited. The emotions are so confusing. When you've had an upsetting outcome to one or more pregnancies, deciding to go for it again feels like voluntarily getting onto a train which may either take you somewhere fantastic or crash at any point in the journey and you'll have to deal with the fallout all over again.

Hi pwcbird ... I feel the same, probably not really ready but time is ticking hmm

. I'm on CD7 today & got my period just before 6 weeks afterwards which seems to be standard for me. I've got my consultant appointment on Sept 9th, so we probably won't try this cycle but I'll be OPKing to see when I ovulate (had just got back to a normal ovulating on day 14 cycle when I conceived Toby).

Joy 27 - I have found monitoring CM a bit hit and miss tbh. And I'm pretty sure in the cycles I have had where I turned out to be pregnant there seemed to be more of it.

Know what you ean about gritting your teeth and getting on with it - really don't want to do it like that. Still managing reasonably successfully to pretend to each other that we're just naturally sexually active, not trying to make a baby. I think I ovulated yesterday (I temp, erratically, and had a big rise this morning) but last night I really couldn't be bothered. Felt a bit cold-y and knackered, so didn't. Now half wishing I'd just knickled down to it (iykwim)and thought of England!

Last did it on Monday night so hoping some sperm have lasted from then!

Ps Congratulations Aquababe, how long had you been trying?

Hi Ladies

I'm new to this thread and this site but wanted to thank you all for sharing your stories and for confirming that I am not going insane!

I have recently had a second early miscarriage and have gained a lot of comfort and positive feeling just by knowing that others are going through the same emotions.

I have found myself becoming obsessed with bumps! Everywhere I look there seems to be a fresh new baby bump before me...it's like I'm being stalked!! wink

Friends are also announcing their pregnancies on a regular basis and it is impossible not to feel envious.

I have read so many encouraging stories from other women and hope that one day we can all share the news we all hope (and obsess wink

) for!!!

Meant to add to others posting that I understand how hard it is with pregnant/just had babies friends.
A friend who lives up the road had a baby on Tuesday and it's really hard to deal with. Another - who is due the same time as I was, though very sympathetic, told me how great she's feeling and she's having a boy etc and I think I cried for a whole day when I heard that. It's terribly hard as it's not their fault that they are pregnant/happy/giving birth/all going well but it really knocks you back. I guess that's what mumsnet is for!

Hello ladies,
I thought I would pop in. I had a mmc just over 4 weeks ago at 22 weeks

though the baby had died at 17 weeks approx. Still very early days for me and I've not had a period yet but DH, ever direct in his approach, says we should jump on the ttc bandwagon asap once AF has been as I'm not, aparently, getting any younger hmm

. (He doesn't mean it really but just being practical I guess). I'm 41 and have a beautiful DS of 2yrs.
Part of me doesn't feel ready but the other is desperate to get pregnant again as quick as I can but I'm wary as it was so awful to lose quite late on.
Anyway, will wait for whenever AF arrives and take it from there.
Any advice/views welcome.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wonderful news for you Aquababe! Congrats!

Congratulations Aquababe!! What lovely news to hear grin

Can you throw some luck baby dust over the rest of us wink

wook I started trying when I felt like it as again medical was so conflicting on my 2nd mc I waited the hree months but feel it was valuable time wasted. hth.

Seems my doom and gloom last week was a little unnecessary and the pains that felt like period wasn't as just got BFP. very nervous, particularly as its nearly the the same due date as my 1st mc.

TMI alert! Joy - I was wondering the same thing about CM....am CD 21 (6 DPO) but have no other symptoms...maybe am just too hopeful!)

Wook, if it's a straight forward m/c and your hcg levels have reduced as they should, then there is no reason why you can't ttc again straight away. It's usually only because it's hard to date a pregnancy if you haven't had at least 1 cycle, and for emotional reasons, that you're told to wait.
I had my 2nd m/c in April and have been having acupuncture since then and have found it very helpful. My cycles returned reguarly much quicker than after my 1st m/c. Also enjoy the hour of me time each week, and that I'm giving my body some balance back, if that makes sense. My sonographer also said to try again soon after the m/c as you are generally quite fertile, doctors only had me wait because my m/c wasn't complete and my hcg levels weren't behaving as they should.
If medically everything is ok, then it is up to you when you feel ready emotionally to ttc. Good luck

Hi thanks for the condolences, it's been four weeks now and I still feel quite up and down- was behind a pregnant woman walking back from town yesterday and felt myself going all wobbly, thank heavens for sunglasses. When I was pregnant with ds I had no idea that the bump I was so proud of was like a knife sticking into other women's hearts!!!!
Just a quick question: Has anyone on here had acupuncture before/after a miscarriage? The acupuncture guy told me not to even think about ttc until three months had gone by- he was very doom and gloom. So did the nurse in A and E. My GP says to wait for one period, the sonographer said to start straight away and so did the doctor at A and E. What is the answer??

Would love a glass of wine... but decided on Sunday that I would stop drinking until next period arrives (or doesn't arrive). Cannot lose resolve on day three!

Have been googling ferociously and now wondering... is CM a sign of early pregnancy? Seems to be watery/creamy. Yikes, TMI!

LadyHelen I really hope this is your month.

Joy27, get BD'ing! It can't hurt and you never know.......may cheer you up too. Have a glass of wine to help!

So far nothing in my knickers. I keep on re calculating my dates and timings and prob actually have to keep knicker watch up until about Friday morning.

I'll have a glass of wine tonight though. Just had a hellish case to deal with at court. WOrk, gets in the way of obsessing about getting pregnant!

Oh, big hugs to everyone who is feeling blue this week.

I am not feeling too brilliant either- under the weather and grumpy/glum, as is my boyfriend. Today have noticed that I have quite a lot of CM (have given up trying to identify EWCM)- after having nothing much all cycle. So it seems I maybe didn't ovulate last week as I thought, but might be about to (I'm on CD21 with no idea of what my "normal" cycle is). This is possible, right?

Which means we should get down to it, just in case. But we are both not well and in bad moods. Feel more like sitting in separate rooms than jumping into bed! Gah, how do others cope with this- do you just grit your teeth and do it regardless? Seems very unromantic and not like us. Oh and the last time we had sex was Saturday so prob too long ago for swimmers to still be around.
Not the biggest problem in the world, but still sad

I vowed not to turn to OPKs at this early stage (only 3 months ttc inc a 4-5wk pg which miscarried)- but might be about to renege on this!

Speaking of knicker-checking, LadyHelen will keep fingers crossed for you! Keep us posted.

Am actually feeling much better about hearing my friends news now. Its just that initial - IT SHOULD BE ME THATS PREGNANT reaction, I guess.

AF should be due sometime today if my luteal phase calculations are correct so it'll be a day of knicker checking for me today! Lovely. Pleased to hear all the stuff about the FR tests. Does anyone ever get an early positive with them?????

hi ladies

kingfix im so sorry to hear about your MC sad

be kind to yourself and take your time xx i have had 2 recent early MCs (5 and 5+1 weeks) and i have been TTC for 10 cycles hmm

i hope you are ok and dont have a long wait til your sticky bean arrives smile

dustin good luck testing over the next few days smile

ladyhelen im sorry you are feeling so down sad

FWIW i have had a good friend tell me she is preg today and i feel like crying as i only found out about half an hour ago sad

i am happy for her but so sad for me sad

i know exactly how you must be feeling as i am there too sad

dya wanna hold my hand while we are in this crappy boat together? sad

{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}
hope everyone else is doing ok smile

xx ei xx

Golly - we're all having a week of it, aren't we?

Sadminster - I'd read your story on the MC board - am so sorry for your awful loss

Hope you're doing ok and taking one day at a time..

Ladyhelen one friend called me to tell me she was pregnant (due the day before I would have been) - and actually she was incredibly insensitive about it - but I only managed to stay on the phone for 4 minutes. Cried as soon as I got off

I've so been there..did you manage to get through the rest of the afternoon? (BTW - I got BFN with FR with both PGs...boots own brand have always given me a positive first - each time the day before AF due..)

kingfix - sorry to hear about your MC - how are you doing?

Hi kingfix- yes you've come to the right place. Like you I had an early mc (4-5 weeks), in July. We started ttc again straight away but then I felt horribly worried about doing so and regretted it, and was actually quite pleased when my period arrived. For the first time in weeks I felt I knew what was going on with my body. In hindsight I'd make the decision to wait til after my first cycle post-mc, but at the same time it seemed impossible to do so at the time. I guess what I'm saying is, it's up to you!

I'm now back in the saddle (arf)- my period is due at the end of next week and obviously I'm hoping that it doesn't arrive this time! There are lots of ladies here at various stages of ttc.

Oh, and of course, I'm sorry to hear that you have been through a miscarriage. Do share you experiences if you'd like to.

hello, is this the thread for me? Just had a (very early) miscarriage, want to ttc again, but afraid to try. How long did you leave it before you went back to the breach?

Queenie**Mollie**Scully No I haven't tested yet too much of a wimp. I will just stay in denial for a little longer.
Ladyhelen2 Sorry you are having a rough time. It is really hard when friends get pregnant as you have a constant reminder that you are not. If you avoid them you feel such a bad friend. When a close friend of mine got pregnant I told her that I was happy for her but also finding it really hard. Take care.

Thanks "munchie*. I guess you never know. I'll just see if AF arrives now. No more tests unless and until she is absent for a few days. Not hopeful though.

Am sitting here now though sobbing. One of my best mates has just called to tell me she's pg. I knew they were TTC and had a suspision last time I saw her as she was clearly not drinking. I'm sad to report that I reacted badly. I could not stop the tears and she could tell. I am happy for her but every time I hear of a new pg, it makes me feel like a failure. Its different with my other friend who is pg as that feels like I am tracking my own last pg. Thats hard, but with every new pg it just makes me feel like a complete and utter failure.

Am at work. Am obviously crying. But I can't go home just cos someone told me they were pg, can I?

Ladyhelen dont give up hope yet, both times I have been pregnant I used the First Response tests and it was always after I was late that I got a line (and both times it was really faint at first even though I was late). I also tested before due and got BFN's when I was actually pregnant.......so you never know!

sadminister so sorry for your loss sad

mollie glad to hear u have more time off

Everyone else - hello!

Well jumped on DH when he got back from his stag, and now on the 2ww..... I have no patience....and I am a big test waster (esp as I dont even get faints positives until after I am due, but I just cant resist the urge wink

!!) I'll need your help nearer the time not to bankrupt the family wink

mollie and sparky I am totally with you on how you feel. I would also have been nearly 5 months gone with the last one and approaching 8months with the one before. Every time I see a pg lady I get tearful, and its especially bad when I think of my friend who is is 3 weeks ahead of where I would be with the last one. I've still not got up the guts to see her yet.

Have been having twinges since Thursday last week around the front of my pelvis and lower back aswell. AF is not due till tomorrow or thursday and so I'd convinced myself it was way to early for AF and so it must be that I was pg. So, did an early test this morning. BFN

It was one of those FIrst Response test 6 day early ones so ultra sensitive I expect so am expecting AF to arrive any moment. Still getting them twinges too but mainly lower back. This 2WW has been one of my worst.

Aquababe Sorry to hear your feeling down too, it's so hard isn't it sad

Hope your feeling a little better today?
Dustin Have you given in and tested yet? Will keep everything crossed for you smile

Very

at the young girl smoking and drinking, makes you sick doesn't it! That's one of the reasons why I don't want to return to work too quickly coz I'm faced with that a lot, think I'll end up being arrested for attacking women who don't deserve children, oops hmm

Wook How are you doing?
Joy Good luck with the bd wink

EI Thanks for the lovely message, sending hugs back to you for Thursday smile

Sparky Feel free to rant and moan, don't worry about me hun, I'm sure I'll be doing that a lot over the next few weeks, months, years!!!
sadminster Hugs to you, good luck with TTC, just make sure you take the time emotionally to deal with what's happened to you.
Scully Yes I did get some time off, saw GP this morning, she signed me off for 10 days, I can have longer if I want.
GP was very sympathetic and understanding (made me cry) I think she was worried that I might think the consultant appt I have for the end of next month might be a miracle in the making. I've explained that I realise that they may not find out if anything is wrong and that it could be that we are just having a run of terrible bad luck at the moment, god life is pants sometimes! sad

but hey ho onwards and upwards smile

I'm sorry to see that you're here again mollie

I don't know if anyone remembers me - I posted a bit before - we lost our little boy at 17 weeks 6 weeks ago today, it was my 6th loss (have 2 living children thank god). I'm on CD5 & since I bought a huge pile of OPKs on ebay yesterday it looks like we're trying again. I'm still in the weeping a lot phase but it took 10 cycles with Toby & I'm not getting any younger so we just have to get on with it. Finding anniversaries hard too

Hi ladies, haven't been on here in a little while, nothing new to report though. Thought we might have been lucky last month, but no, just 6 days late hmm

Frustrating but it was the first month we have been able to ttc since the 2nd m/c in April, so we would have been very lucky to be successful first time.
EDD's are hard, I should have a 6mth old, or be 30wks pregnant, and it's not just in the UK that there are pregnant people everywhere shock

Hope your appt is helpful on Thursday Ei.
Did you get some more time off Mollie? Good effort with the bottle of wine on Sat night, that would have been my method as well

Well done for not testing too early Dustin, I do that as well hold out as long as possible, would rather not know than see a bfn.

hi ladies

mollie so sorry you are feeling sad these past few days sad

it is entirely understandable considering what you have had to deal with this year sad

i know exactly what you mean about seeing preg women everywhere hmm

its like an epidemic which i feel constantly excluded from sad

i know it will be your time soon and i hope your wait isnt too long before it comes around smile

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
sparkey i would have been going on 5 months myself around now with my 2nd MC and 3 months with my 3rd sad

when were you due? my EDD for 2nd was 6th dec and i know it will be hard getting to that point in the year as it is and has been so hard every year following my 1st MC on my EDD of 28th march sad

i think i might need to choose a day in the year to feel sad about my lost babies otherwise i will spend all my time feeling sad if things carry on going the way theyre going sad

i think my EDD for my 3rd MC was 16th feb or so i barely had a chance to work it out before i lost my baby that time sad

i have my appointment (which i almost had a fight to the death with my GP for hmm

) on thirsday so hopefully it will bring me one step closer to my baby[fingers crossed] {{{{{{{{{{hugs to you}}}}}}}}}}}}} aswell smile

golly gosh im a bit of a sad sack today arent i?!!! blush

hi to everyone else smile

DUSTIN have you tested yet? good luck grin

xx ei xx

evening everyone. Sorry to see some new people... in the nicest way.
Sparky I'm sorry you feel so rubbish at the moment. Can you tuck into some red wine or are you trying very hard not to drink etc etc? Determined that next AF I will be necking the wine. Already had a glass today so not going to have anymore, just in case.. I'm also trying not to symptom spot, but I don't feel remotely pg, whereas last month I felt very PG and of course had BFN.
Someone on here suggested exercising as a means of taking your mind off TTC. I've done some aquaerobics, pretty gentle I know but might as well try to get a bit fitter...
Feeling a bit mis as been trying for exactly 1 year now, would have been 8 months preg by now. And saw new baby today, which is always hard. Our friends are popping them out very frequently these last few weeks...

Sparky Sorry your feeling down. TTC after mc is like a 'double edged sword'- one one hand you so want to be pregnant but on the other terrified that if you do get a bfp it will end in mc.

Hello ladies. Pretty fed up too to be honest

[whinge alert!!]

Keep thinking I should have been almost 5 months pregnant and getting ready to stop work at Xmas. Instead of which am more and more stressed at work, sick of TTC, being a miserable mummy with my darling DS due to all the stress, picking fights with DH, feeling v teary...all in all a bit rubbish.

I just feel I can't see an end to it all. Not even sure a BFP will make me feel any better as am so worried about having another mc.. Sigh. Why are some weeks so much harder than others?

Sorry Mollie - feel a bit selfish given this is all so much more raw for you....Right. Moan over.

Thanks Joy.

I think I will be in denial and not test yet. I have had such weird cycle recently and maybe the EPO has had an affect on it as well.

I know what you mean about pregnant women everywhere. I went to a wedding last weekend and there was a teenage girl there who had a baby of about a year old and was heavily pregnant. It just made me really sad as she was smoking and drinking and there are women on here who try everything to have a healthy baby.

Sorry, meant to use * instead of " up there, obviously! blush

Mollie, sorry you are feeling so low. There are babies and pregnant women EVERYWHERE aren't there?? I felt really irrationally annoyed with one woman yesterday in the queue at the butchers, who was obviously quite early on and barely had a bump. But she was sticking it out loads and stroking it constantly. Which of course is lovely, and fine, and I'd do the same. But I found myself thinking jealous and annoyed thoughts, as if she was doing it to be smug and rub my face in it. Which of course she wasn't. Sigh.

*Dustin", sorry too that you're having such a confusing time. Can understand re the testing thing- just do what feels right.

*Sparky" and Ladyhelen, how is the waiting going? I'm not getting too worked up to be honest, and at the moment feel I will be quite happy to wait to test until the 5th. In the mean time I confess to symptom-spotting a tiny bit (have been convincing self that cystitis-type pain- ow!- is a symptom! Though have not googled it yet. Also is probably just from all the sex). Also am very tired, but then I have had an exhausting week at work!

How about everyone else?

Mollie It is normal to feel this way. I still do sometimes and my last mc was nearly a year ago. Please don't be hard on yourself.

I am on cd32,I normally have a 24-26 day cycle but last few cycles have been a bit strange in duration. I haven't tested yet because I will be so gutted if negative and I will worry the menopause is approaching. On the other hand if it is positive I will be terrified I will mc again especially as it is about the same time as my last one. Also this month I didn't really ttc as I was on high doses of EPO prescribed by my doctor so was worried what affect it could have if I got pregnant. I think I am going mad!

hey Molly sorry your back. been lurking myself. still no good news everyone around me is pregnant or just had babies so finding life a little tough at the moment.

Hi Mollie he isnt back yet wink

. Please dont feel bad lovely, it is ok to be really sensitive. After my mc one minute I would be fine, next minute I wouldnt be. Just give yourself time and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to at that point in time. I still sometimes lurk on the March 2009 thread, which is really unhealthy but I am not ready to stop yet. Take care of yourself x

Morning ladies
I apologise in advance of my whinge sad

Feeling really tearful at the moment, have managed to distract myself quite successfully over the past few days. Popped to B&Q to buy some paint yesterday saw 5 pg women in a space of 10 mins, virtually ran back to the car and bawled, how over sensitive am I? (Note to myself do not leave the house yet!) Today I'm getting severe cramps (worse than last time) so there is no hope of trying to distract my mind as they are a constant reminder.
Munchies Did you jump your DH when he got back from his stag do or was he in no fit state? wink

Good luck for those of you on the 2WW, any symptom spotting yet?
Mollie waves to everyone else

Hello lovely ladies!! <big wave to all>

Mollie hope u have a better day today lovely.

EI all the best for Thursday

Joy, LadyHelen and Sparkly how are you coping with your 2ww?? Fingers crossed

I have bought one of those ovulation kits to check things are happening, and apparantly I have my hormone surge today (hurray!).... but DH is on a stag do, how typical is that grin

. Well we did the deed last night so if those wee blighters could hang around maybe I have a tiny chance......oh and I might jump his hungover carcass when he gets back tomorrow (poor lamb grin

)

Hope u all have a lovely weekend xx

Munches & Dustin Thanks for the welcome
EI Hello lovely lady, don't be nervous about Thursday, just think of it as a step in the right direction to getting you a healthy sticky pg. I presume they will take bloods to start?
Well I think it finally hit me yesterday and the numbness has worn off, got very upset in the afternoon, but feel much better for it. Drank a bottle of red last night and now I have a bit of a muzzy head wink

hi ladies

so sorry that you have had to rejoin mollie sad

as you know i am here for you as are all th other ladies in here smile

how are you feeling today hunny? smile

wook sorry to hear about your MC sad

i hope you are feeling ok and good luck with TTC efforts (my advice is dont make your eyes bleed whatever position you try, one involving bleeding eyeballs does not sound fun wink

)
hi to everyone else smile

im now on CD9 so nowhere near the 2WW for me yet hmm

i have my MC clinic appointment on thursday. does anyone have any tips about what to expect? or what to ask?? im getting nervous now blush

xx ei xx

Joy - oooh, we're both on for the 5 Sep (just realised I said August.... blush

)I'm CD15

Got a positive OPK last night so am keeping everything crossed that the timing's right and that there's plenty of baby dust floating about! Now I just need to stay away from the HPTs (the OPKs were satisfying my need to POAS!!!)

wook- hello. I too have heard many a differing opinion on when to start trying again. I say whenever you're ready. Sorry to hear about your MC.
My mc was in July and started trying again immediately- though my period arrived 4 weeks later.

LadyHelen I too am on 2ww- I THINK (not yet sure of cycles post-pill and post-mc), currently on CD16 so if I am "normal"- which, who knows? I might not be- I'd be due on 5th August (ooh Sparky, snap! almost).

Feeling fairly positive at the moment, though totally confused as normal. My main, rather unpleasant, quandary at the moment is how to tell the difference between EWCM and, er, the other (the man kind). Maybe I'll just stop peering obsessively at my pants and wait to see if my period arrives!

Hi wook - so sorry to hear about your mc, but hello. How are you feeling?

My most consistent advice after my mc was to wait for one period and start again...but there are lots of different stories (although I hope none that involved bleeding eyes as a result of sex!!)

LadyHelen my 2ww is on ( AF due 5 Aug) - ready and able to obsess!!

Can I join you please? Had first mc three weeks ago at 9 weeks, it was a huge shock to the system. Have a ds who is just three but longing for a second. Have had a million different messages about when I can ttc again, from the midwife who said, "just do it every other day from now, have sex until your eyes bleed" (!!!) to the one who said 'you must wait at least three months or your uterus won't be ready'. I just wanted to get going straight away, so we have, although I don't think there's any chance of doing it until my eyes bleed, even if I wanted to!!!

Mollie I remember you from this thread. So sorry you have had to go through it all again. Take care.

Oh Mollie I am so sorry... I was on the March 2009 thread at first(and u were so lovely to me on there). I am soooooo sorry u have had to go through this again. Thinking of u xx

Hi girls, can I rejoin? I was on here after my first m/c in Jan 08, recognise some of your names smile

I was hoping after I left to TTC with avengance that I would never be back (in a nice way of course) But unfortunately here I am. My story (short version) I'm 36 trying for my first LO, got pg Dec 07, following some spotting Christmas Day we had an early scan and a missed m/c diagnosed, had ERPC in January. Second BFP 1st July, had reassurance scan at 7 wks and saw HB, went for dating scan on Monday and found out that beanie had died just after our first scan, had ERPC yesterday. Think I'm still in shock as been holding it together quite well hmm

Just waiting for the sh*t to hit the fan and hormones and emotions to kick in big time. Looking forward to getting to know you all smile

Hi LadyHelen almost on the 2ww - currently CD13 (DH looking very worried

) and I'm due on 5 Aug...will almost certainly be obsessing in about 72 hours!!

Bumping this up! Is anyone there?

Anyone else on the 2WW? THink AF due around 30th Aug. Anyone else around the same time? Anyone else obsessing madly over every twinge, visit to the loo wondering whether I am peeing more than normal? Or just me???? Someone come and keep me company!

Hi there Joy,

Thanks for the info.

I did a test a couple of days after the MC and it was negative, although the doctor at the hospital did say that my hormone levels were extremely low already and said that I wouldn't need any further blood tests or scans.

I've not had any other PG symptoms at all since then.

From the conversation that I had with my GP, she said that if I did get PG quickly (without AF inbetween MC and new PG) they take the day of the MC as CD1, maybe that's why it works in the way you suggested. I know some people have had AF 3 weeks after MC so I don't know, I guess I'll see what happens.

Thanks for coming back to me though!!

xxx

Hello Dawn- I've heard that one rule of thumb is that the day you actually pass the embryo (sorry to be so graphic) can count as CD1. This was true in my case (miscarried first pregnancy at 4-5 weeks in July). But I'm also pretty sure that your first post-MC cycle is totally unpredictable, so I wouldn't rely on any dating at all.

Are the hospital monitoring your HCG levels? Pregnancy hormones can hang around for weeks, so a test could still come up positive even if you're not pregnant (forgive me if you know all this already!). Three weeks after my mc ended, and one day before I had my first period, I was still getting an HCG level of 7, which the nurse said would show up as positive on a HPT.

So I suppose what I'm saying is that, in my opinion, you're right to delay the testing for a few weeks.

Good luck with it all, and sorry you have reason to be here on this thread.

Hi all,

I've been on here once before but don't get much time to come on MN these days, but I'm just looking for a bit of advice...

We are TTC#1 (I'm 34) and amazingly managed to conceive in the first month, but unfortunately had a MC at 5 weeks, which was 2 weeks ago.

After conferring with the Dr at the hospital and my GP, they saw no problem with trying again straight away, once the bleeding stopped, so we started BDing last weekend.

But what I wanted to ask, does anyone know whether your "cycles" continue as before. For eg. my last AF started 18th June so if I hadn't become PG I would have been expecting AF on 23rd July (I've got a 35 day cycle - bummer!) and then I would be expecting my next week next Wednesday, 27th August. Does it work like that or does it mess your cycle up completely?

The main reason that I'm asking, is that from when we started officially TTC in June, I kept a diary of when we BDd and then all syptoms (whether phantom or real wink

)... And the week before AF was due, on the Monday, I started getting AF type cramps, which eased off in the afternoon. These turned out to be Implantation cramps with a bit of spotting. This morning, completely out of the blue (as thought it would be way too early and wouldn't happen so quickly after an MC), I started getting AF cramps, but no spotting this time. CM is perfectly normal (I get that a lot all of the time). So basically just wondered if anyone knows how all this normally works.

I'm already determined not to do any testing (especially if I think I'm PG), until I believe I'm further along than I was before I had the MC. I just don't think I could cope with the upset!!

I hope all you girls are Ok. If you're on this thread, then you've obviously been through the mill. Keep your chins up!!

Lots of babydust for you...

**************************************************************************************

xxx

Hi Ponyoni, Sorry you have had to join us. I've had 2 mc in the last few months too.
A third in March last year, and so I've now been referred now to a recurrent miscarriage specialist. I've no idea what to expect when I see her. The appointment is 3 weeks away.

If you get pg again, insist on early scans. Do you have a local EPU at your hosptial? Mine does and is relatively supportive and will take a self referral. I suspect your GP (like mine) will say as you've had a successful pg, that 2 mcs won't be enough for a referral to a specialist yet, but I think if I'd pushed it, he would have. After 3 on the trot though, no pushing was required.

I am back on the 2WW now. 4 BD's over the weekend following +ve OPKs.Am a bit tired now. Although one doesn't count as DH got carried away and forgot where he was supposed to be! IYKWIM! I was quite annoyed at the time. In fact I was close to tears. Possibly an overreaction, but I don't like to "waste" the stuff. It needs to go in the right place!

Hi Ponyoni,

Sorry to hear about your recent miscarriages- that must be terribly tough. It seems a lot of women have less than positive experiences with the medical profession when they go through a miscarriage. I had an early miscarriage last month (we're trying to conceive no 1), and it was a very confusing time, made worse by the fact that none of the doctors and nurses I saw seemed to communicate with each other.

I'm sure some of the other members here will be able to advise you on what kind of tests etc you are entitled to, given the fact you've had two miscarriages.

I'm not too hot on acronyms, but thought I'd respond to your post to say hi and welcome, and try to help. The acronyms I do know- and I may have some of them wrong!- are:

DS: Dear/darling Son
DD: Dear/darling Daughter:
DH/DP: As above for Husband/Partner
AF: Aunt Flo- ie a slightly prim way of saying "period"
BFP/BFP: Big Fat Positie/ Big Fat Negative
MC: Miscarriage
TTC: Trying To Conceive

hello, am new to this site and sorry to be a bore but would love to know what DS and some of the other acromyms mean...think can figure most of it out, but i am 36, just had two miscarriages in a row, ovulating and conceiving right away, but surprised to miscarry at 7 weeks, then 9 weeks, having had a very unproblematic pregnancy and delivery of my first child nearly five years ago (partner problems meant not having my children closer together!)...my gp took the view that there can't really be a problem since i took a pregnancy to term last time, but i am not so confident and if it happens again i will be very assertive about asking for all manner of tests...but fingers crossed... for us all x

"However I'm hoping that Thursday night's swimmers might hang around"
- I meant Wednesday.

Feel very nauseous right now- is that a sign of ovulation? Hopefully not. Want my bod to hang on til Sunday! On second thoughts am probably sick with excitement re minibreak!

Thanks nauseous- yes I think I do deserve it! Can't wait in fact.
Unfortunately last night I was out all evening then came home to find a very grumpy other half. We had a bicker- although we made up, it was too late and we weren't in the mood. I'm off on my fabulous minibreak later.
However I'm hoping that Thursday night's swimmers might hang around, and I'll be back on Sunday afternoon so... Luckily my boyfriend is totally on board the baby train so he'll be up for doing whatever it takes (what a strain for him wink

)
Actually, have had no sign of any CM at all, so perhaps this weekend isn't when I'll ov.
(Having said that, I didn't seem to have any CM when I got knocked up last time so maybe that's no indication of anything).
Have a great weekend everyone, and I really hope we can make some babies between us. Though obviously not with each other.

Congrats Dungangirl! So glad there are some happy stories this month.

Helen2 sorry things are rubbish at the moment. It does seem to take over, doesn't it?

Joy27 - maybe you can BD straight before and straight after the weekend and enjoy the weekend? Sounds like you deserve it after everything that's happened.

Mistlethrush - I am so sorry to learn about your MP; thanks for explaining.

On another note - I'm just curious - has anyone gone down the Foresight route??

Congrats dundungirl

Munchiesmama, hello. I'm in pretty much the same boat as you cycle-wise, in that I finished my first post-mc period not long ago. I'm hoping (obv) to get pregnant this cycle. Will keep you posted! We're ttc no1.

However, it's only just dawned on me that this weekend will be my CD9- CD11. Which means I'll probably ovulate... Good news, but I'm away on a girlie weekend, if my cycles are "normal" (have been on minipill, then preg straight away, then mc, so I've no idea what my cycles are). The weekend will be brilliant and hilarious, I wouldn't miss it for the world. But does this mean we'll miss our chance to conceive this month...?
Rats.

dundungirl- congratulations

and welcome to munchiesmama

DungunGirl - Congratulations!! {reaches out to wave, and grab some baby dust!]

Welcome munchiesmama sorry you have had to join but you are in the right place. I think there have been a few ladies on here that have fallen pregnant straightaway so good luck.

Hi Everyone

Can I join u all please? I have just recently had a mc and I have just finished my 1st af since. If my cycle goes back to normal straight away (hopefully - fingers crossed) I should ovulate sometime around the 22nd...... Have any of u got pregnancy quickly after a mc???

Really want to be pregnant again, might fill the hole in my heart. Thankfully I am lucky enought to have one DD 18 months, without her I think I would have fallen apart.

Congrats DungunGirl! (trying to coat myself in your lucky baby dust wink

)

DungunGirl Congratulations! It always nice to hear good news- gives us all hope. Congratulations to Oddeyes also grin

hi ladies

I was on here in March/April after my first ever MC.
You all were so lovely and supportive that I wanted to
pop back briefly to announce some great news!!!

3 months after my MC I am now expecting again.
Will be 6 weeks on Saturday. So hurray!

Another lady from this thread ( OddEyes ) who MC'd at the same time as me, is now expecting again in April too! Hurrah!!!

Fingers Crossed this time!

BABY DUST TO EVERYONE!!!!

Hello Ladies sorry so many people have got their AF's- fingers crossed for next month for you all.

ontheup take care- sometimes a break is what you need. I have found that when you are ttc your life gets put on hold and you feel like you are living in limbo. I feel like I have spent the whole of my 30's living like this. Hope to see you back soon.

Sorry to hear that ontheup. Good luck perhaps the relaxing about it will help? Come back soon.

I am going to take some time away I think and try to stop focussing on ttc - good luck to everyone here and thanks for your help over the past few months

cece I didn't know your story. So sorry about your mcs. That must be so hard. Keep us posted on how your appointment goes. Is it soon?
I'm thinking my age is a factor too. I'm 37, although my first mc was at 31, so it can't be totally the reason. I'm half expecting the consultant to say - well what do you expect woman. You left it too damn late to start having children.
I had DS at 34. He's now 3yrs and we started TTC no 2 when he was 21 months, so about 18months ago now and I've been pg three times since then.
Feel really really low today. I can't stop thinking about it. I should be 35 weeks pg this week with baby conceived in late Dec, or 16 weeks with the last.

Cake and ontheup, sorry it didn't happen for you both this month. Seems to be a month for BFNs and unwanted periods around here... Hopefully next month will be a totally different story.

Ladyhelen it must be hard to be around small children when you are having such a hard time. I don't have occasion to be around little ones much, as I don't have any children. But the bumps- everywhere!- make me feel rather wistful. And endless birth announcements at work. But then, I know for a fact that some of the new parents in my office had far from an easy ride, so I'm really happy for them (would be happy for them anyway but, well, you know what I mean).

ckeandicecream and ontheup - sorry to hear you got you af... sad

Hi everyone

Just a quickie to say that despite having had strong symptoms AF got me today 4 days late - i am not happy as yuo can imagine

Hi ladies

What a week! 2 BFNs, AF finally arrived 1 week late and is mother of all AFs and I've just had a row with not so DH about absolutely nothing!

My 2 and a half year old is looking like the better prospect to spend the night with!

Here's hoping for a better month for everyone and good luck with your scan daisy I would definately have done the same thing

Take care all - I'm so glad I can come here adn moan and read others posts and people actually get what I'm on about!

ladyhelen

sorry you had a bad day at the park. I too thought it would be my lucky month this month sad

I saw the GP at beginning of July and she referred me then, so was pleasantly surprised to get an appointment through so quickly...

I am going to a hospital fairly near to me but not the nearest as this particular consultant specialises in fertility issues apparently. The GP wrote sub fertility on the referral, as I actually have two children (with no problems whatsoever). Since my youngest was born I have also had two unplanned pg both of which I mc. One at 9 weeks and the last one at 18 and half weeks. We have been ttc since then, so 6 months now. My age is probably the biggest factor I think as I am now 41. sad

I'd be doing the same too Daisy! Will be thinking of you.

Hello ladies, I've not posted for about 10 days as have been on holiday. (Lovely despite rain and sickness - nope not of the morning variety either)

Anyway, I need to rant! I had totally convinced myself I was pg this month. Totally and utterly convinced. AF got me a week last Fri. First one since last mc. Lasted three days. Then stopped and have had two minor bouts of spotting since then. Gutted is not the word. Took DS to the park that afternoon, and could not turn around for new born babies being BF by the sandpit and women with huge bumps. I've never seen so many in one playground. I had to leave. It was awful. Poor DS was dragged off mid sandcastle.

I've not completely caught up yet, so can I ask Cece about your referral? Who are you going to see? I've finally got my referral too but have to wait until Sept 15th. Grrr. In the meantime, back to weeing on the OPK sticks and counting days. Again.

Sorry to see new arrivals. FIngers crossed for us all this month.

daisy I knew you would cave in. I would have done the same smile

Just a quickie to let you know that I've decided to have an early scan before I go completely nutty! Booked for next Weds, so should be able to see quite a lot as I'll be 8+4 by then. I'm feeling MUCH better now I have a landmark to look forward to. Will post again to let you know how it goes - otherwise, I'll probably go quiet for a bit so I can stop obssessing fo a few days.

cece - sorry the witch got you. Great about your referral though.

ontheup sad

. Hope you have some kind of result either way soon.#

joy - very best of luck with this month - relaxing and having fun sounds like a good plan (smile)

mistle - thanks for that. I know you're right, and will try to remember not to forget that! grin

Oh dear, sorry to hear that Cece, but good news about your appointment. As I'm new to this thread and to mumsnet, I don't know your "story", but I hope that the clinic can give you some answers and help you on your way to ttc.

How are all you other ladies waiting for af? Ontheup and Queenie, keep us posted.

My af finished yesterday after 4 days. Seems very short. But then a) I haven't had a proper cycle since I was 19 (now 27) due to being on pill then more recently my pg/miscarriage. So I guess this might just be normal for me. As far as I know, short periods aren't an obstacle to conceiving.

So I can tentatively say that I am now on CD5, with no idea about when I might ovulate. Am going to TRY not to get too obsessive and calculating about when to bd. Ha, I say that now! The plan is to just go for it and have fun- every other day I reckon. I would dearly love to get pregnant this month (duh), as I'm on hols without my partner in Sep, and then we have a family member moving into our (very small house) at the end of Sep, so it will be harder to make babies.

I never thought I'd be sharing such details on tinterweb! But it is so nice to have contact with other women in the same boat.

Back luck cece

Good news re your appointment though, maybe its quick due to summer hols?

Looks like af has got me sad

On the bright side my referrel to the fertility clinic has arrived for 20th Aug - all seems very quick!!!

Still no AF but havent tested today as fed up with getting BFNs

Hi Cece*!

*Daisy - don't know whether this will assist at all - 1st mc - I was still feeling reassuringly nauseous right up to the spotting which took me to A&E and resulted in ERPC following day - so, you can still have the symptoms even when its not all OK - so I wouldn't worry too much about symptoms or lack thereoff... I think its all very dependant on the individual pregnancy, and even for the same woman each pregnancy can be very different...

Fingers crossed that you're wrong and that you shouldn't have been worrying. smile

welcome back cece

thanks daisy - how many weeks now?

I have had terribly sore (.)(.) the past week and a half.... So much so that they have hurt even when holding a towel against them! But had a few signs of blood the past day or two so how knows! It was barely there but it was there... Not actually sure which day I am on though. Hold on will have a quick check.

CD 27 and I think I OV about CD 18, but haven't put my temps onto FF yet!

Daisy - when I was pg with DS, the sore boobs were the symptom that came v early (about 5 weeks) but only lasted a week or so - was just left exhausted, and feeling sick - whereas when pg last time, all symptoms stopped really dramatically (as opposed to fading) just when I think the pg failed

As ei said, symptoms can vary day by day.. Completely understandable why you're worrying...am sure we'll all be the same. Am hoping it's a sticky bean in there for you in the meantime....

Welcome back, cece - hope you had a great holiday - and remember that pmt symptoms (including being short tempered) often same as pg ones grin

. Hope it'll be your month...

x

hello,
back from our holiday! I can see there are sadly some new people but wlecome.

Waiting for af here although not optimistic due to losing my temper yesterday. That is always a sign she is on the way! This is all despite lots of holiday bd on the right days! grin

Thanks, both. I kind of wondered, too, if maybe they haven't been sore for so long as it's the second time in a few months that I've been pg, so my body has got used to the hormones more quickly. ...

Anyway, I'm going to take a deep breath . . . and . . . relax.

ei - weird - hope you have some answers soon, hon.

xx

hi ladies

daisy i posted for you in the waiting room but i will say the same here smile

it is common for early preg symptoms to vary from day to day. please try not to worry too much (i know how hard that is) take it day by day and as you say this pregnancy is a totally different experience to the last so dont let the fear of the past ruin what you have now smile

ontheup any news?
no AF for me as yet, very high temp for me at this point in my cycle and im 2 days past my usual LP. i tested this morning and BFN hmm

i have absolutely no clue what is going on with my cycle hmm

il keep you posted with any developments smile

xx ei xx

I read somewhere that the symptoms can fade away becasue youre body gets used to the new hormones....

Thanks for the words of comfort mistle and ontheup. It's a relief to hear that having a 'really bad feeling' doesn't mean it's not going to work out. As you can probably tell from the fact that I'm posting so early, I'm not feeling particularly relaxed right now. In fact, my pg symptoms are fading (well, the main one, which is sore boobs) and I'm convinced everything is really not OK. Still feel a bit queasy, but I think that's fear more than morning sickness.

I think the main reason I've decided not to have an early scan is because I'm too scared to find out what I'm starting to believe, which is that I'm going to lose this one too...

Has anyone else just had sore breasts for the first couple of weeks and then the symptom has faded but everything has still been OK? (sorry for crap grammar - in too much of a state to phrase this elegantly...)

Daisy - quite understand fears etc. I got scan at 6wks for ds last time due to previous mp (nauseous - molar pregnancy) - and again at 9wks. However, despite this, still got really bad feeling regularly, it was ages between check ups in terms of peace of mind at least. I remember at 6 months finding some hpt that were out of date and convincing myself that I must have imagined the whole thing (including the regular kicking, bump etc). I didn't actually completely believe that it was all going to be OK until I had ds in my arms.

Ontheup - I found I went off red wine unmistakably - lucky for me, didn't want to drink any alchohol during - liked the smell, not the taste!

Also went of take-aways - chinese first, then indian...

daisyj I just reread my post and disdnt mean for it to sound QUITE so curt - I am so used to typing in shorthand for work I can be a bit brusque. Sorry. What I meant to say was try not to worry even though you will and telling yourself this is a whole new experience sounds v sensible to me, I will try that myself should I EVER get a BFP!

daisyj I can imagine your fear, sounds perfectly normal to me. Am starting to consider acupuncture since so many here think it is worthwhile.

AF hasnt got me yet so fingers crossed...may test tomorrow or may try to hold off another day. My body feels pg so I will be gutted if I get a BFN again. Have also been having vivid dreams and I had that last time with DS but no metallic taste yet which I was expecting.

Queenie any news???

Just a quick hi, and sorry to see all the new faces, but you're definitely in the right place to get a ton of support and information.

ontheup sorry about your BFN, hon. I've said this before, but can't remember where, so without wanting to give you false hope, I got a BFN on CD30 (my cycle is usually 28-32 days, so should have been accurate) and then a BFP on CD34, so worth testing again if AF hasn't got you by Sunday. And LOL at your new emoticon grin

.

I'm mostly feeling queasy and a bit scared at the moment. All is fine as far as I know, but I've just found out I can't have a reassurance scan at 8 weeks (although my GP tried to swing it for me), so have decided to wait till nuchal at 12 weeks. I may yet crack and go private, but I'm really trying to stay sane and treat this as a completely different experience from last time. I'm having lots of acupuncture at the moment, so that helps - I kind of see her as my therapist, for one a week me-time grin

. Sorry (again) for the whinge... Sometimes I think I'm managing really well, then the fear intrudes again. So I just get it off my chest by coming on here and talking about me, me, me grin

you too ontheup smile

xx ei xx

good luck queenie

sorry aout your BFN ontheup sad

good luck with testing tomorrow smile

my AF is due tomorrow and i also feel very pg hmm

i have all these unusual symptoms compared to my normal AFey symptoms and i know i will be quite devastated if af does turn up as i have (stupidly hmm

) gotten my hopes way up this cycle especially as i do my temp and it has been at a record high for this point in comparison to any of my previous cycles shock

only time will tell i suppose as i caved in and tested yesterday and it was BFN but it is rather early days if i am preg so who knows hmm

i hate these last few days waiting and wondering hmm

joy i must have missed your post saying your AF had arrived sad

sorry

good luck this cycle smile

hi to everyone else smile

xx ei xx

Just got a BFN on FR sad

but feel very pg so am going to wait and test on Sunday since AF is only due tomorrow so might be a bit early yet (madly clutching at whatever straws are lying about emoticon)

Hi again ontheup and thanks everyone for all the lovely messages.

If you get your BFP (fingers crossed!!) I hope you can wee properly ontheup (thinking about all those tests ) wink

- although I could never do it in those tiny tubes the midwives give you!

joy - I'm not sure, my periods (all 2 of them) are a bit different since the mc; but I've been seeing a reflexologist so am not sure whether it's the ERPC 'clearing it out' (sorry - that sounds awful) or the reflexology helping to regulate my cycle again..

have been reading about the wonders of grapefruit juice - DH has been sent out to get some

(poor fella!!)

Hi sparky just saw you had got AF on the 2ww thread sad

, welcome to this thread, everyone here is lovely.

Joy I thought I had 'bits' but on reflection now I dont know whether i was imagining it because the AF brought back some many horrible memories of the mc. I do agree that things are different now though.

Am still on 2ww even though Ive had no BFP w the 2 tests i have done becasue neither have worked - I obviously cant wee properly hmm

Hi Joy, I didn't have that but I think it's not uncommon, nothing to worry about I don't think smile

. If the bleeding gets very heavy or very painful you should probably go to your doctor (sorry for stating the obvious! smile

)

Sorry to see so many new faces, but you're in the right place smile

Sweetpea re private tests, I've just been sorting out some papers and I found the letter from St Mary's Paddington about which tests they offer and the charges, thought you might be interested (and shock

at the charges!) Just don't ask me what they all mean! Here goes:

First Consultation: £200
Follow-up consultation £150
Cycle monitoring £480 per cycle
Chromosomes (male & female)£171 per person
Day 2 LH/FSH £28
Testosterone £35
Rubella screen £45
Full Blood Count £28
Blood Group £28
Fasting insulin/glucose
Pelvic ultrasound scan £172
Antiphospholipid Antibody tests x2 £100
Prothrombin Gene Mutation £100
TEG (thromboelastogram)£50
Factor V Leiden £100
Activated Protein-C Resistance £60

So all in all an easy way to spend a LOT of money without even trying! The FBC, Rubella, Blood Grouping, fasting insulin/glucose I had done by my GP - for free grin

!

Hope this helps xx

Hello sparky, sorry to hear about your mmc and your period arriving.

Oh well, at least there are several of us who have all started our cycles within a couple of days of each other, so we can all support each other in a fortnight or so.

Sparky, I'm actually quite shocked at how different I feel post-mc. Tbh I look back at myself and see a bit of a child (I'm 27 so this is certainly not the case in reality!). Although it was a very early mc and not too traumatic, it made me grow up A LOT. And for me and my partner, it made the idea of having a baby very real and focused our minds on it more. We couldn't grasp it before, I don't think. And if this pregnancy had continued (I didn't know I was PG until I was miscarrying, for various medical-type reasons), it would have been a big culture shock despite planning to get pregnant. This time around (please let it be this month) I think we'll be much more ready and calm. Just trying to look on bright side.

I have a question actually (TMI! TMI!) : did anyone else find that when they had their first af after a mc, there were remnants of what the hospital delightfully call "product", as well as normal bleeding? Not a lot, just little bits?

Sorry to end on that note!

sorry i meant nauseous sorry your AF has arrived not meaning to say joy blush

so nauseous good luck for this next cycle smile

xx ei xx

morning ladies smile

joy sorry your period arrived sad

good luck for this month.
sparklymalarkey sorry to hear about your MC sad

and about your period arriving sad

i had an early MC in june and i am due AF tomorrow. so by this time tomorrow i might be in your boat. good luck for this cycle
hi to everyone else smile

xx ei xx

HI can I join. Just read joy's message and feel exactly the same. Had mmc diagnosed but then had natural mc and got an ERPC in June (great week for me).

AF came 31 days later, was convinced I had done it this month but came on today

The mc has completely changed how I feel too.

Nauseous, really sorry it didn't happen for you this month. In answer to your question, the Early Pregnancy Unit, who were dealing wiht my MC, tested my HCG levels. During the MC they tested every 48 hours to check that the HCG had dropped by half as expected; then once a week until the levels had dropped to almost nothing. This is to check that all is going as it should, and you haven't got an ectopic or anything. I would imagine that your GP can test them too though.

Mistlethrush- thanks for humouring me. Of course my period came back within an hour or so, and yes it does look very much like a normal period. I'll probably do a test next week anyway (because I am insane) just to check- don't trust my body any more.

I'm glad of this thread, as I feel totally different about ttc, now that I have had a miscarriage, than I did before. It's nice that there are others here who understand.
It's a shame that my first pregnancy ended this way, but I'm hopeful for the future, and for all of us here.

Got my period this morning. Feeling Ugh. I had totally convinced myself I was PG as well. Oh well - best get off to work. smile

CanI ask who tests your HCG levels? Bit clueless about that. Hope all goes well Joy.

mistlethrush, EIC cake - Thank you for your kind comments - and suggestions - I would probably be hopeless at knitting and so I'm thinking of taking up swimming. You're right its preferable to eating which let's face it really does seem like the greatest option sometimes. I definitely like the idea of flaking out more easily at the end of the day... and being a bit fitter. I will check out the local pool. What a good excuse to get a new cozzie!

My current pre-occupation is also waiting for AF, and hoping that despite the BFN 2 days ago that the fact that my sense of smell is really strong, wierd abdo cramps and being more tired than usual is proof that I'm pregnant... hmm.. driving myself a bit mad. Still not due for 2 days. Wish I wasn't so impatient!

mistlethrush please can I ask what MP is?

To answer your point about bleeding after MC, mine was light and then very heavy for about 10 days. HTH...

Thanks for making me feel at home ladies. Catch you all soon.
Nx

I think that 7 would be really early - doesn't it double every day or something?

From my more recent early mc, my experience was that my cycle was rather screwed up to start with, but roughly in step with the commencement of the mc ifyswim...

Sorry that you have had a bad experience over care - mine (on 1st mc) was complicated by the fact that I was on holiday - and they recommended an erpc that day - they said that they would let me know if there was anything that needed following up on - but didn't - which meant that my regular trips back to the Doctor were treated as me being paranoid for 3 months...

I would leave it a week and take a test - if its negative, all has stopped etc. If it is positive, you might be pregnant - probably they might suggest early scan given recent history, but don't know what the normal practise is in your area.

Sorry to hog the thread! But oh God, someone please step in and shake me, I'm sending myself mad...
The bleeding has now stopped (it lasted I'd say less than one hour and is now just v pale, v watery.
So of course I've started to convince myself it's implantation bleeding...
With an HCG of 7 yesterday, couldn't this be the case? (Had assumed the HCG of 7 was post-mc, not new pregnancy)

Please tell me I'm getting carried away- or that this is possible. I'm confused (again).

Well, you don't read this sentence very much on this thread but...
Hurrah! I got my period!

At least I think I have.... Nobody ever tells you how CONFUSING the miscarriage experience is. The mc stopped 2w 4d ago, and I've had nothing since then- no pain, no bleeding. The bleeding now is quite "normal" and red, like a period, basically. Does that sound normal or could it be a remnant of the mc?

So it seems (everything crossed) that my body might be getting back into a regular cycle and we can ttc properly again. Then I'll be introduced to the "joys" of the 2ww I guess.

How exciting.

Hello Kate,
Thank you for your message, it's good to know we're not alone. This was my first pregnancy, so I'm quite clueless about the whole thing (although getting much better informed now!). I told my GP that I wasn't confident with the gyn that I saw after the birth (I was being polite. He was useless!), and he said there were obstetricians in my area who might be more relevant. I am really angry that I was not referred to them originally.
Anyway, I will try that route first, and then go the private route if necessary - thank you for the names and number.

I thought that I might be pregnant a week or so ago, and the realisation turned me briefly into a headcase - so I know how you feel! My suspicion is that there is no single explanation for my loss, but I need to make sure that I have ruled out anything that can be ruled out before trying again.

I've just come back to work about the time when I should have been starting my maternity leave - it's a bitter pill.

It sounds like you are pregnant again - I hope everything goes well smile

. I'm sure it will now that you have someone good looking after you!

Thanks for the advice cake, and for sharing your experience. I'm hoping that my period arrives soon so I can get some sort of a handle on what's happening with my body and start to ttc in earnest.

Hopefully I'll soon be holding hands with you all on the 2ww, ontheup. At the moment I'm facing a who-knows-how-long wait for af to arrive!

Hi Joy27 sorry to hear about your m/c, I've had 2 early m/c's this year and both times my next AF came a week later than my normal period would (I normally have a 28/29 day clycle adn they both came on day 35 which of course led me to think on both ocassions that I was pregnant again!) I think it's different for everyone though but common for it to be different to 'normal'
Hope that helps

Re previous messages re taking your mind off dates etc - the only things that I've found to work for me other than the dreaded cake and ice cream is creative stuff that you have to concentrate on like knitting, sewing, pottery etc

I'm going shopping today - that'll do the trick!!

thanks guys - it was a clear blue and the 'control' line didnt show up so it just didnt work at all....it's God telling me to wait for a couple of days grin

. Joy you're v welcome to come qand hold hands too for the 2ww....

Mistlethrush queeny thanks for the info.

ontheup sorry about the test- how frustrating!

nauseous the things I do to try and take my mind off ttc is to keep busy. I have been on a course and learnt Reiki which I do on myself to help me relax. I have now started to make jewellery- anything to keep my mind off ovulation sticks, dates and BDing by appointment.

Hello, I posted a couple of weeks ago as I was going through a miscarriage at 4ish weeks. My boyfriend and I are ttc our first baby.

Well, the mc ended around 2.5 weeks ago now. This morning I had my final HCG test at the hospital, and it came back as 7, ie negative. This was as expected, and a "textbook" drop- but if the truth be known, I was secretly hoping I'd be pregnant again, as we haven't used any protection since the mc. Twas not to be. Except now I've just thought- what if I AM pregnant again and it's just very early, hence the low HCG level??? Someone slap me please.... Or least talk some sense into me.

Now I'm waiting to get my period but have no clue when it will arrive. Anyone else in the same boat, waiting for AF?

I just feel that once I know what my cycle is I'll feel much calmer about this whole thing. I conceived straight after coming off pill, seemingly before I'd had my period. What I thought was my first period turned out (I think) to be my mc sad

So basically I have not had a normal cycle for more than 8 years, gah!

How long did it take for others' periods to arrive after a mc?

The thing with testing is that the first one is guaranteed not to work (ie it doesn't say what you want it too) - so you have to do another one, preferably a different make - then that one doesn't either, but you still feel +ve so that you go and get a clearblue one and that one's still -ve.....

grin

ontheup sorry the test didnt work sad

what type was it?
nauseous sorry about your MC sad

im not sure about how to distract yourself from TTC as i try in vain every cycle to distract myself and i end my cycle with a nail biting rant as i did earlier today blush

i have 2 days left of this cycle before i get answers and it is AAALLLLLLLL i can think about hmm

you would never guess i am usually an (?)intelligent wink

rational woman would you... best ask other less obsessed TTC focussed individuals... grin

xx ei xx

I think that probably doing something like going to the gym/going swimming is quite good - gets you a bit fitter (which doesn't hurt anyway) and when you're there it stops you thinking too - then you're knackered when you get home so sleep a bit better etc... However, chance of getting to the gym would be good!

Nauseous - sorry you've had to join us. My first mc was at 10 wks - and went horribly - ended up with being diagnosed with mp three months later, so had 2 erpcs for that one - followed by 4 month's treatment for the mp, then a year of not being allowed to ttc... so I know where you're coming from, except I've now got a wonderful ds smile

who is a real handful hmm

and sometimes makes me think that I shouldn't really be worrying about wanting another - just concentrating on him (which is what I have to do really anyway - its just all his clothes get packed away just in case.... sad

)

I just etsed and the flippin' test didnt work!! Am even more frustrated now angry

nauseous I just try to count my blessings - a bit mary Poppins I know but it makes yuo realise that there's normally a silver lining somewhere, you just have to go looking, sometimes admittedly for a loooooong time.

Others on this thread are into acupuncture which they say is v good. I have got into knitting in a big way - sounds daft but it keeps you busy and stops me eating too much blush

as I could comfort eat for Britain. Any other ideas ladies??

Ladies - does anyone have any top tips for trying to distract yourself from thinking about not being pregnant yet?

Just read some of the posts - good luck with testing this weekend everyone!

Hi everyone, finally found you! I had a MMC at almost 12 weeks in April which was hideous, and so been trying again for 2 months. Just tested 3 days early - b/c I felt so preg... you already know the outcome to this story... Course its a BFN. Shoulda known!

Don't eeel toooo gutted this time - maybe b/c I haven't seen AF yet.. Cakesandincecream* - i am with you those feelings.

I never imagined ttc would be such a roller-coaster. All those years i took the Pill trying NOT to get pregnant seem incredibly ironic now!

I also wish I could stop thinking about it mistlethrush. So instead of doing some work right now I'm here having a whinge!

I don't know your situation but I also bought and have kept baby things which are placed firmly out of my sight by my dh these days.

We have decided to take a rest for a few months - which basically means I'm not temping and pretending not to care or to notice and do extra BD-ing around ovulation etc etc.. but I know the pressure will increase as time goes on. Pressure I'm putting on myself that is.

ontheup thanks i will take you up on the hand holding as i may need it to stop myself from testing early blush

i am due AF on fri/sat and i have ordered some 10mui tests from babymad last night so i hope they dont come before friday or i will be doing a mass test whlst bein g totally unable to control myself blush

good luck for you aswell smile

teehee i will try not to test until saturday but dont hold me to that smile

im in 2 minds about whether to test or wait until i am really late like past cd35/36 (that was how far i got with my last 2 pregs sad

) i really dont want to know if i have another CP/MC but at the same time i have an appointment in the recurrent MC clinic on 28th august and that kind of information would be useful if i have another one. does anyone know where i am coming from? am i just being silly? i know we are all meant to keep a positive mental attitude to each pregnancy opportunity but when it is thrown back in your face over and over again it becomes a little bit harder to be positive.
FWIW i know im over thinking it but i cant stop that just yet i just feel better getting it out here smile

dustin taking EPO lengthens the time between your AF and ovulation. this might be why you havent oved yet. also if you are taking them for this purpose then you are meant to stop when you do ov. i also think they help increase production of EWCM smile

i know thats not why you are taking it but its useful to knw its other uses i think smile

i hope everyone else is doing well smile

xx ei xx

I did a trial when pregnant with ds which put some people on vits and evening primrose oil and some people on placebo - so evening primrose can't be too bad... Although they wrote back to tell me that there was no apparent link between taking it and anything... Also did one on caffine... I think that was to do with birth weights.

Hi Cakes, you're not a fraud - and lots of us have exactly the same feelings. I had convinced myself this month that I had symptoms, but Monday put paid to that. However, last time I did get pregnant (last autumn) I did have to go and look dates up on MN to double check that the dates I had in my mind were correct... blush

I'll obviously have to try to stop thinking about the whole thing. Still don't want to get rid of any baby things though sad

Hello,

I am still having strange cycles. This time AF came at my normal but had a painful
(.)(.) and thought I could feel a lump so I went to the doctor and they have put me on a high dose of evening primrose oil for a month. Not ttc this month because of this but still tracking ovulation on my Persona gadget. I normally ov early around day 10, it is now day 14 and still haven't ov. Do you think high doses of evening primrose oil can alter your cycle?

Hope everyone else is ok.

cakes I know exactly what you mean about dates. When we stopped ttc I was off work as well so completely lost track of dates and even days and weeks really and it was such a relief, but it didn't take long to get back into it. You'll get there and MN is great for sharing the disappointment of yet another AF or BFN.

Queeny (whispers) ^When are you testing?^

cake hello - welcome to the thread - you don't sound like a fraud to me, just someone who has had to deal with a lot too. We're in this one together.

queeny if you want to hold my hand as you wait for your BFP feel free - I'm waiting with hope this month too (due at the weekend) and am soooooo nervous as I want it but am scared at the same time...

Hi to everyone else!

Thankyou both for your kind words, to be honest it feels great just to have got it off my chest and I had a good cry after I did it so it was very therapeutic!
Teeheelaydee I did have a bit of time off ttc in may and june, more because I didn't have the time, energy, inclination or opportunity to BD more than any conscious decision to stop ttc but it was good to not be watching dates for a while and we planted a tree in the garden for the little ones that weren't to be. It definately helped and generally now I'm kind of ok about the whole situation but that week leading up to AF just gets me every time and I'm impatient and stroppy partly through pmt I guess but also through the stress of hoping and not knowing and my brain playing tricks on me all the time (I'm sure I actually make myself feel sick!)
I wish I could just forget about dates!!!

hi again

thanks to everyone for being so understanding smile

it is really a nice place to be here given our situations smile

i am due to test in 4 days time and im starting to get twitchy blush

i have all these symptoms which are making me wonder and i am starting to feel really scared thatn it might actually be my month but also it is 2 months since my last CP/MC and there was 2 months between my 2 recent MCs aswell so i think history repeating itself whilst being super cruel could actually happen sad

cakeandicecream hi sounds like you are in pretty much the same situation as me. i have a DD who is 2.8yo we started TTC in october last year and have had 2 early MC (april and june) and im waiting for my BFP impatiently wink

i hope you are ok and you get your BFP soon smile

i hope everyone else is doing well smile

xx ei xx

Hi cakesandicecream First of all you are not a fraud - absolutely no way. Even 1 m/c is a horrible experience as you will have seen on here. Sorry you have had to join us but glad you have ifykwim
I don't really have words of wisdom as such but have you considered not ttc for a little while (just a little while)It might be that you need to grieve for your lost babies. When I had my m/c I was convinced that the only thing that would ease the pain was a baby and it just got too much in the end so I got some help and took some time off work and concentrated on coming to terms with the past rather than getting pg and it has become much much easier. I feel much more positive for the future. April is not that long ago so it's no wonder you are still feeling down
MN really helped me, particularly this thread so keep posting however you feel - we've all been there so don't feel as if you are miserable. Everyone is different though, some can start ttc straight away and others don't.

Hi everyone
Not sure if i'm in the right place but here goes (I'm new to mumsnet and just starting reading some of the lists for some alternative comfort to cake and ice cream!)
I have 1 daughter aged 2 and 8 months and have been trying to conceive again since the end of last year (can't really remember exactly when) I got pregnant in january and again in april but miscarried both times at between 5 and 6 weeks.
Have spent every month since inventing imaginary symptoms, buying boots out of pregnancy test kits, eating my bodyweight in cake, ice cream, in fact anything sweet (on the basis that at least it's marginally better than drinking alcohol)
Did a test today as I was absolutely convinced that this was the month and got a BFN
Struggling now with keeping positive and trying not to watch dates and notice every pregnant woman on the planet
Sorry to be so miserable - i can see from reading some of your posts that some of you have had some really really hard stuff to deal with so i feel like a bit of a fraud but just need to get it all off my chest.
Any words of wisdom to stop me reaching for my daughters milky ways??

Sorry, Hi Bunny! how's it going?

Hi Kate, glad you are getting things sorted. Its all very well deciding you'll have some time off - my problem is that my time's running out and ds is already 3.4 - we started trying sort of when he was only 18months.

But then, our finances would be in a mess if we had another dc right now...

Its a real quandry isn't it...

thesqiz - yes, had persuaded myself that twinges weren't normal this time too. And cycle was 28 days which is a couple longer than recently (one thing that's going a bit better at least wink

) so was starting to get a bit twitchy. I knew really that there wasn't really any chance so I don't know what I was doing kidding myself. GRRRR!

Hi Bunny, I'm ok thanks, I've been hanging out in Emmsy's waiting room. Think I pretty much feel ready emotionally to try again, but we're waiting to get the all clear from a load of tests, both conventional and naturopathic. I need to wait until then for my own sanity, if I got pg again and mc'd AGAIN without feeling I'd done everything possible... I don't think I'd ever forgive myself. So my self control is pretty good, though we're probably not being quite as careful as we could be.... How are you anyway? Evil ms giving you any gyp? How many weeks are you now? Am so smile

for you after everything you've been through! 3rd time lucky for me too do you think...?!?! [begging/desperate emoticon!]

dawn and sweetpea very very sorry to hear your stories. i hope you find some comfort on this thread.

sweetpea - kate's msg above is probably more helpful than anything i can say. we are thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs. please come to rant and offload as much as you want.

kate how are you? havent heard from you in ages! are you ok these days - i know it's not something one "gets over" as i still break down from time to time, but i hope that you are keeping on the positive side of things. are you back at work?

mistle sorry to hear that af got you. it's so frustrating - the body does funny things to trick you when you are ttc. it's quite a torture to interpret every twinge. in the end taking a few mths off ttc for me broke the mental torture of waiting for something every 2 weeks (either to ttc to find out whether pg). but it's never far from your mind. keep sending you baby dust

Afternoon ladies, I haven't been around much for a while, but am still lurking, I hope that is ok! grin

I felt I had to post though, after reading SweetPea99's post - SweetPea I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. We lost our little boy at 17 weeks in April, so I have some idea how it has been for you, although we had abnormal blood results at 12 weeks, so we knew for a while that there may be a problem. It must have been the most devastating shock for you and your DP sad

.
I think from your message this was your first (and hopefully last) mc? Do you have any children or was your little girl your first? The reason I ask is that both those things can make a difference to what (if any) treatment you will be offered now. Sadly, whereabouts you are in the country can also make a difference.
I had a mmc back in November. We weren't offered any tests by the hospital, but my GP referred me for various blood tests as she could see I was in danger of turning into a bit of a head-case if she didn't ( blush

)
This time round we chose to go to a different hospital as we weren't very impressed with the care we got 1st time round and now we are fortunate enough to have an amazing consultant. We only met him as we decided to pay for a private nuchal at a BMI hospital (like BUPA) and he did it. Then when the abnormal bloods came back we have been under him ever since, but transferred to the NHS. I have had a lot of tests, including a scan last week, though I am ashamed to say I don't actually know exactly what they are all for.
However, I do know that the main reason he has agreed to do them is because we want them, rather than because he thinks there is a problem - he thinks we have just been very unlucky. We have been incredibly fortunate to find a doctor who believes in treating the whole patient, not just the physical symptoms. Because I trust him, I am now starting to be able to accept that we may just have been unlucky, but for me the thought of going into another pg without the tests I have had and without his support would have been almost unthinkable, so I can totally understand where you are coming from.
If you're not getting anywhere with the NHS angry

and you'd like any further information on which tests might be worthwhile you could check out the website for the charity the Foresight Association here. Alternatively, depending on your financial situation, you can see Lesley Regan or her colleague Dr Raj Rai (who I hear has a much friendlier bedside manner) privately. The appointments are not cheap and get booked up a long way in advance - I booked an appt with Mr Rai in February for 12th June which we subsequently cancelled as our consultant was able to get us all the tests we needed on the NHS. It is a VERY expensive business, but depending on your situation it may be worth it for your peace of mind. They are based at St Mary's Hospital in Paddington and their private patient no. is 020 7886 1050

Sorry for the ridiculously long message, but I really hope some of this helps. Take care, xx

Mistlethrush: I kid myself there is a chance every month! I try not to, but that's the worst thing about it - can't get the day-counting out of my head! Every month I persuade myself that this month something is different and better - less stress, been on holiday, etc - and am fed up with the whole up and down shenanigans. Bah!

Dawn - don't put yourself under too much pressure! If you feel up to it, and have not been advised otherwise, certainly no point in stopping ttc - but you might want to just leave things to nature a bit rather than actively ttc ifswim given the house situation - then if it happens, that's great, but you're not actively planning, so its not so disappointing if it doesn't happen.

AF here today for me - not really much of a surprise, although still trying to kid myself that there was a chance this month. I might just have to throw away the idea, get rid of all the baby stuff etc - that would probably be a catalyst for something positive happening!

Thanks teeheelaydee and thesquiz. We're looking to buy our first house before the end of the year aswell so we've got a lot to focus on which will help I think!!

Onwards and upwards!!

xxx grin

Hi Dawn, so sorry to hear about your m/c. After mine the only thing I could think about was trying again, and having looked into it then couldn't find any reason why not to, as long as you feel up to it. I think sometimes it takes a while for hormones etc to settle down which may mean your body isn't ready straightaway, but on the other hand it is also said that you can be at your most fertile immediately afterwards, so I'd say there's no harm in trying! although don't let your expectations run away with you...!

Hi Dawn, so sorry this has happened to you. You should be able to start again straight away. There are plenty of people on here who have got pg straight after a mc and have gone on tohave healthy little ones.

Only you will know how you feel and whether you are ready.

Hi Ladies,

I know some of you from other threads I think, but wanted to get some help from you ladies.

I am TTC#1 and got PG in the first month of TTC. Unfortunately I have had an MC today at 5+3.

Do you know how soon we can start trying again? I've had problems for a week so was expecting this and so am already feeling positive about trying again. The Doc says that he can't see any reason why we can't start trying as long as we're ready emotionally.

Has anyone else had a healthy PG if they've fallen PG again within a month of MC, before waiting for an AF. I'm not suggesting that we'll be lucky enough to fall again so quickly, but I'd just like some advice really...

xxx

Hi Daisyj,
Thank you for that. I haven't done much research, I think I was in denial, thinking it was just bad luck and it wouldn't happen again (I am an optimist!), but wondering if I might be pregnant again (I'm not) has suddenly mande me realise that I have to be more pro-active, or I will go mad in the next year!

SweetPea - so very very sorry for your loss. It can be so hard to get answers and a late mc is so horribly distressing and confusing - I'm not surprised it's taken you a little while to get to this point. There are lots of women on this thread who have been through this kind of thing and I'm sure they'd be better equipped than me to offer you advice. However, there is a book that might be a good starting point, with some explanations as to various reasons for different stages of miscarriage. It's called Miscarriage: What Every Woman Needs to Know, by Lesley Regan. It won't give you definitive answers, but it might help give you an idea of some of the questions to ask. And I do think that you need answers. Mc might be 'one of those things' before 12 weeks, but it can also be a bit more complicated than that, particularly later on. The reason for mc before 12 weeks is frequently chromasomal, but after that it is often caused by other things. There is some good information that you can click through to here:

http://www.library.nhs.uk/womenshealth/viewResource.aspx?resID=84634

Sorry if I'm telling you things you already know, but hopefully anything that helps you to ask the right questions will be a good thing. Good luck, and stick around - there are some very wise women here! smile

Hi LBOT,
Thank you. No, I wasn't ill, the pregnancy was text book - raging pregnancy symptoms all the way including lots of throwing up and constant nausea! I think that's one of the reasons that I am so dreading going through it all again, and yet I really want to be pregnant.
I think the consultant I saw was a GYN (obviously I should know, but, well, they don't introduce themselves do they?). All he suggested was try a junior aspirin, but I have read on here of other people having tests after a late loss, and I want to push for those, but just want to know what is standard really.
Thanks for your kind words.

SweetPea - sad

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

It must all seem like a complete whirlwind right now, but I think you're completely justified in wanting some answers. Unfortunately, I'm not particularly familiar with the NHS either, but is it possible for you to be referred to a GYN? They're not necessarily "baby specialists" but should be able to help you discern what's happening in your body. Your doctor can probably do a blood test to determine whether you have any blood clotting disorders.

You mention 'sickness' - were you ill while you were pregnant?

Again, I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through sad

{{{hugs}}}

Hello,
Do you mind if i join to ask for some advice? I have read lots of your posts and feel so sorry for everyone, but you are all being so brave.

I discovered that there was no heartbeat at my 20 week scan back in May. Our baby had died about 2 weeks earlier (when I thought the sickness might be finally going away sad

).

Since then the only test that has been done was a genetic one to test that there was no chromosome problems - there wasn't and the baby was also the right size for her dates. All I have been told is that it's just 'one of those things' hmm

. Not sure that's good enough.

I am now thinking about ttc and have realised that I can't face another pregnancy where the same thing might happen all over again. I think I should have some tests and have mentioned it to the GP, who was willing but not knowledgeable. I think the consultant I saw was not a real baby specialist either.

Can anyone offer advice on tests after late loss? I really don't understand the NHS very well, and as this happend in May, it looks like I'm not making decisions very quickly at the moment either! Feeling pretty messy emotionally and suspect that this is not helping.

Actually, I'm feeling a bit grotty today, but I think that might just be the heavy weather. I've just been saying on another thread, though, that I'm taking anything that feels different from last time as a 'good' thing. This time my belly is achy and it feels like there's more going on.

I'm a bit queasy, too, and I can't think of anything I really feel like eating right now (even though I'm hungry most of the time) except for curry - we have a really great local Indian, and right now it's the only thing that doesn't make me want to go 'ugh'.

Can't wait to have my GP appointment next week and book in for early scan. Time goes so slooowly!

Well, you did ask! I just ate some lunch and it's not agreeing with me, hence the grumps! grin

Will come back in a better mood next time.

lbot, I find air travel does really funny things to my cycle. It often makes me spot, and once I even had an extra period. I sometimes think there's no logic to these things, even if you think you know what your cycle's doing. I can't remember if I've said it here, but my friend, who has a 30-day cycle, BD'd once one month on day 7 or 8, 11 months ago, and now has a lovely two-month old!

Thanks for the congrats dustin - so sorry things are tough right now. Glad you're here, though smile

Hi!

Thinking of moi? I'm flattered! grin

!

No news here, really - although I am having a confusing cycle. Last Wednesday I travelled to the US on holiday - was CD16 and I typically ov around CD18, so DH and I tried to be as productive as possible in the run-up as he wasn't coming with me. Well, I'm back in the UK now and I don't even know if I've ov'd! I temp, so I'm not sure if my temps were affected by the travel. But if I haven't then there's still time grin

I just hope that I'm not ov'ing late due to the agnus castus I'm taking... hmm

It seems to be helping in all sorts of senses - ie my temps, which are generally very low, have been higher than normal and my EWCM has been very plentiful, although very patchy! - which is also what leads me to believe I haven't ov'd yet. Perhaps my body's been trying but knew DH wasn't around?

Anyway, how are you feeling, Daisy?

Forgot to say congratulations daisyj grin

bunny really pleased that scan was ok.

Fingers crossed for both of you x

Hello to everyone else.

lbot thank you, sweetie!! grin

. Was thinking about you yesterday. How are you? Tell us your news...

thanks lastbox and everyone else. still slightly scared as still bleeding (more like spotting).

thesquiz welcome - i also tried acupuncture and chinese herbs (vile but made myself drink it) as i was determined to give my body the best chance to recover from th 2 mc's quite close to each other. acupuncturist said to allow myself 3 full mths of treatment before ttc. we got impatient and tried at 2 mths which ended in a CP (positive pregnancy test 2 days after period due, but then period arrived the same day as positive test!). anyway, i think any alternative therapy is great even if it helps to mentally stablise you (it certainly helped me as i was crying lots and very depressed before the acupuncture treatments).

Bunny so glad your scan checked out okay! smile

And DAISYJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just saw this what wonderful wonderful news!!! grin

So so happy for you!!!! {{{hugs}}} smile

Hello thesquiz I also had a mc in September and have a 2y old DS. I also feel like I am in limbo and can't really get on with my life. The problem I am having is I keep having other medical problems cropping up which means I have to keep putting off ttc which is frustrating. It is hard to keep positive but this thread really helps.

Hi daisyj; thank you for your reply! feel better already..!

I did try acupuncture earlier this year; I probably didn't give it much of a chance, I think I expected to conceive immediately and when I didn't it sort of fizzled out...
I am trying to keep it all in proportion and to get on with other stuff, the thing I hate most is the feeling that all these months are sort of dead time, wasted waiting for this to happen; but I am finding it harder and harder to keep positive. I do have dd, now 2, so have much to be thankful for, but it was all so easy that time round and now it's all hideous! Bah!

Hi thesquiz - of course you can join us - you are most welcome. So sorry for your disappointment. It's so tough playing the waiting game, isn't it? sad

I was so worried about how I would cope with eveything (ttc, not conceiving, or conceiving and then begin terrified that I would mc again) that I knew I had to do something that would keep me sane - I chose acupuncture and have just learned to meditate, too. I have no idea if either of these things helped me conceive again so quickly (had a BFP last week on first cycle of ttc after mc in March - first time around it took us about 10 months), but they certainly have both provided some me-time and a feeling that I was actively doing something to help...

Have you tried anything like that?

x

Hope you don't mind me joining in with this. Had m/c in september and have been ttc since then. yesterday was 4 days late after 2 clockwork 28 day cycles and was just beginning to hope...my mistake. am now thrown back into that miserable down patch of every cycle when i just can't believe it will ever happen. i know that others out there are feeling like this and thought it might help to talk to you!

bunny Fantastic Brilliant Excellent news.
daisyj Glad to hear you are feeling a bit brighter.

Bit of optimism for those who were worried about pg friends and feeling rubbish around them (I think it was this thread) Saw my friend and her 11 wk old DD for the 3rd time and it was lovely. Each time I see her it gets easier and today I felt really at ease with the LO and enjoyed making her giggle and having a cuddle - so there is hope and it does get easier eventually. smile

bunny that's fantastic - you must be hugely relieved. Of course you were freaking out - who wouldn't? Certainly no need to feel sheepish. smile

I'm fine - thanks for asking. Feeling really optimistic and happy today - in large measure due to everyone's wise words here, I'm sure. I'm seeing the doctor next Wednesday, and will ask for an 8-week scan then. She was great after my mc and I'm sure she'll oblige.

Enjoy your evening - and have a large glass of something healthy to celebrate grin

glad things are OK. Take care!

thanks for the good wishes. just back from scan and saw little bean waving at me - heartbeat, right size etc.

they couldnt find the source of the bleed or cramping. feeling sheepish for freaking out. but i truly thought that was the end. the mc's have really messed with my head.

thanks again ladies for your good wishes... going off to lie on couch now and finish crying my tears of relief...

Bunny fingers crossed that all's OK. Will be thinking of you. Let us know. Lots of love xxx

thanks daisyj am going to see doctor this afternoon as just passed a clot as well

will keep positive thoughts in mind until i find out though.... how are you feeling these days? did you get your early scan booked in?

mistle - thanks so much - it's made me smile thinking of a 9 week old bean as a great big 3.4 year old. Hope your fingernails all grew back! grin

bunny - hope all OK. Remember that over 90% of scans at 8 weeks where you see a heartbeat go on to term, so the odds are on your side, hon. <<hugs>>

mistle your wise and kind words always strike a cord with me! you are so right in what you say.

daisyj congrats on bfp

and i totally understand what you are going through. it was hard being at work in that mental state and not tell anyone. am now signed off sick as it was too stressful to deal with all both aspects. rest lots and i am sending lots of vibes that you will have a sticky bean.

i am going to be 10 weeks tomorrow,but am still stressing despite seeing bean with heartbeat on scan at 6 weeks and 8.5 weeks. i started bleeding brown blood this morning

so am totally stressed and thinking that this is it. after an mc (2 for me), it's never easy to relax. i am trying to remind myself that i bled with dd in the first trimester, but that's not taking away the gloom at the moment.

natty and queenei welcome and sorry to see you here. re cps my last mc was a cp at 5 weeks - not sure if you read the above postings but i read that you can help prevent cp if you take extra vit b6 - i started taking an extra 100 mg on top of my pregnacare and the following month after cp, i fell pg with current pregnancy.

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