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Conception
: The Hut of Gl/Doom Part VI - And Yes, We've Tried Fecking Relaxing!
(423 messages)
Ladies - Don't want to intrude but just wanted to stick my nose in the door and say 'Good thread title' - Also I've got a crate of vodka and a huge amount of chocolate here - can you find a home for it?
<<dumps two large and heavy parcels on the floor - one of which makes interesting clinking sounds>>
just one more month, or my case one more ivf attempt it is all the same really. I have to keep going until I have another DC or i am unable to continue, through lack of raw materials or age (or both).
About Hughes... I was tested long ago and was a borderline positive, then had second test, which was negative. Don't hold your breath for results on the NHS they take about three months. I understand that the treatment is to take aspirin (75mg) as soon as you find you pg and then you have to do heparin injections throughout your pg. A friend has just been diagnosed, took five second trimester mc's before she got referred.
Thank god for the new thread, Heard all the mums at school talking about their pg's and or somebody just had a baby, wanted to cry all the way home....
that's really sad soosy that your friend had to go through that 5 times before they did anything about it. i've had the blood tests but i just got a letter to say they were -ve. as i said, the haematologist didn't look beyond obstetric reasons for the referral, even though i have some of the other symptoms. it may be coincidence but it makes you wonder. actually the haematologist was horrible, barely even civil, but my friend worked in that hospital and said that she has that reputation - no excuse though.
Shrekmissus, Have been referred to a gynae (excuse spelling) as the Haematologist will not be interested for one second about you getting pg (even if she is a complete cow). If I were you I would go back to your GP and get him to refer you to a ob/gyn who specialises in this kind of treatment, and get your results to take with you. If you are in London, the hospital to get referred to is St Mary's Paddington they are the specialists in mc. Good Luck.
Hello guys - good job the vodka was brought in earlier I've been drinking loads this weekend and long may it continue!!!
Soosy my friend also had about 4 mc's before they diagnosed her. Luckily she has just managed to get to the end of nine months and is due this week
I can't ttc until May but have decided to go to my consultant appointment see what the next step is and then decide if I want to ttc any more. I have decided that I couldn't go through IVF I am just not strong enough for it. Ttc has turned me into a really wierd person and I just want to get back to who I used to be. So I think if consultant wants me to go on clomid I'll try it but that's it.
So I am going to try and have break from mn and all ttc things, may pop in again if things get really bad. Good luck everyone and hope we all have a fab summer
still no fecking period, no sign of it at all and am now freaking out about every twinge or if my shoulder aches... got bfn yesterday so waiting now for appt to have a blood test. im shitting myself!
all the best poppy totally understand this ttc lark does nothing for your sanity!
how long do you have to wait for a blood test lissie?
that's interesting soosy re the gynae. i'd been led to believe that the haem would undertake the tests end of, as they were testing for hughes and other clotting disorders, which are blood issues. i thought on that basis the haem would have been more interested in the non ob/gynae symptoms anyway. will probably pursue it a bit later but i feel i have to "get over" the obstetric side first, although i will have to tackle it before the migraines return (if they're related), andbeforeigetadvtandhaveastroke <shreks needs a slap for being so fasecious, over something potentially very serious, which she probably doesn't have (makes you wonder though) and shouldn't make light of, coz it's not nice for those thast do>
regards the whole giving up thing, i think i am nearly there. ov has been and gone and although, i did try to make the most of it, i have pretty much accepted that chances are very low and due to work patterns this last 7 days it has made bd very difficult, so even more unlikely that we have ac (achievied conception). that said we've had great no pressure sex. i think i will be sad for a while yet, and find announcements difficult, but i am starting to feel happier with myself, <let's see how long that lasts> might even have to get out o the hut, what d'ya reckon?
fucking wanky shitty bastard doctors. really, wtf's wrong with them?
been to docs today, got appt for 5.50 and he said what can i do for you? "well" sez i "my period is a week late, shows no sign of starting and im a bit worried, its been every 28d since i was 18" "lab urine test was a bfn" sez he "lab urine test was a bfn with ds and my ep" "well you have to be pg to have an ep" (had to restrain myself from throttling the wanker at this point) "i know" sez i "but if i am pg then i am 5w. my tube ruptured at 6w4d" "well what do you want me to do?" "a blood test" "i cant, lab has gone" "can i come in tomorrow?" "you'll have to get an appt" "can you book me one?" "no" "so what do i do?" "come back next week"
"thanks a fecking lot" "oh mrs w..." "yes" "the signs to look out for with an ep are abdo pain, abnormal bleeding and shoulder tip pain"
"in feb i had no abdo pain, bled like a period and shoulder tip pain only occurs when the tube has burst and you are bleeding internally. you told me i wasnt pg then too"
Bloody fecking arsing doctors. Sadly this is the level of inanity I've come to expect from male doctors. Could you ring back tomorrow and ask to see a female GP? It's your right to see a woman GP if you prefer. And they are often better than the men.
Failing that, could you ring your EP unit and explain your case tomorrow am. Your doc clearly has no idea how many Mcs and ectopics you've had.
Lissie, bypass GP, they have no idea what they are talking about and ring the hospital you went to before. They will have your notes. TBH I have also seen Nurses at my GP as they seem to be more clued up.
Hey, can I hang out here - I'm all done slagging off Delia's latest elsewhere. And I like vodka - or at least I did when I wasn't denying myself all sorts of things I like in order to try and conceive (unsuccessfully).
Give your doctor a kick from me lissie - mine's a wanker too!
my usual doc is lovely. this was the same doc who refused to refer me to LWH following my 6th mc and refused to organise a scan for me or consider prescribing progesterone/painkillers during it. wanker!
hello lissie - I have been in here before but have been trying to not to dwell on my lack of bump, so haven't posted much recently. Quick precis of my life: 1dd, desperately want another, 3 mcs since, all usual tests negative, now seven months without conceiving (nearly three years in total trying), marriage going to dogs, brain already gone. And I'm soooo relaxed about it.
No you aren't out of order. Read through and I saw nothing to kindness to Baldwins and Pinkali. It's very sad that Baldwin lost her LO but no-one was unkind and its unfair of her to blame those that tried to help. The pain of a loss is hard but its no excuse, and your post stating that was level-headed and calm. Don't beat yourself up Lissie love.
Anyway enough about her!
I'm all out of wine, all I've got is gin so G&T's all round. Hurry before the ice melts.
Also to say, I love your thread title. I hate the 'just relax and it will happen' thing so much and have only been trying since Sept.
How come you will have to pay? Are those tests not offered on NHS? If not that is disgusting and makes me angry and sad.
I've had a bad back before so it sometimes get sore, I was at the hairdressers and getting hair washed this time. Its OK as long I don't sit down, to put it in perspective we managed non-bd sex this morning so it isn't too bad
Eek I did a smiley, sorry, I just realised. Would it be excused if I said the sex for fun was only to make sure that the bd-ing for bd-ing would work for next week so I knew if I needed heavy duty to go to the docs now?
I don't know that's why I am sobbing. Pushes glass toward vodka bottle again... actually tbh I forgotten what sex is like all together as we no longer have to have sex to ttc as we have ivf.
Really, DBNO, I would just like to remember, or actually not remember, because then it really would be sex for fun.
I am sorry lissie - I might be on the same track as you as we have had rather a lot of ivf and although we have DS, it doesn't seem to be working now......
god, sex for sex's sake... <sings tunelessly> memories... all alone on the sidewalk...
soosy, we were offered clomid by another cons, so might see if i can use both cons. the one in LWH for if when i get pg again and the one here in shrops for the clomid. when was/is your last cycle?
Lissie last cycle January this year, everything perfect 2 grade one eight cell embryos and a big fat nothing. We started ivf for male problem (quite severe). I was pg 1st attempt, but had mc, it took another 9 attempts, 7 years and donor sperm to have DS . So we have two more packets of seeds left as DS likes to call them and four frozen embryos. So we know its not the embryos but implantation that is the problem. I don't even have a hormone problem as my mc was a mmc and I didn't know until 9 week scan. So I think next step steroids and NK cell counts I didn't know the tests were so expensive for nk cells, but I am now nearly 39 and we have spent loads of money on this. Part of the problem is I can't stop doing ivf as we still have two vials of donor sperm and they are nagging away at me, and I can't destroy them either, iyswim.
Am hungover and feeling depressed. In the 2ww and shouldn't have got drunk last night - feeling shameful. Waiting for DP to finish his round of sperm tests, although the first results we got back weren't good. He has type 1 diabetes and I've managed to convince myself that that will affect our ability to conceive. Been trying on and off for 18 months (although probably only a total of 8 cycles).
Lissie - can I ask what the NK tests are? I might have to get googling on that one. Sniggered at the memory of sex-for-sex's-sake..... <stares wistfully into middle distance>
2 whole days since i said i was starting to feel better, well i was that day but i haven't left the hut yet, just sitting gloomily in the corner without the energy or inclination to speak <shreks draws breath and blows it out in a weary fashoin>
oh, btw, when i said great no pressure sex, which it was, it is always tempered with the knowledge that we have to plan a little carefully so as to be o top form around the crucial time, only this month one or both of us had to work all bar two nights.
ok, seeing siblings of my dd's peers is not a pleasant experience, and i am becoming increasingly at risk of being brutally and perhaps embarrassingly frank when asked: "wouldn't you like another?"
Why not Shrekmissus I am, people ask and I say, 'well the first one took seven years so I wouldn't hold your breath' it seems to work, they seem quite embarrassed, as they should as it is a bloody personal question.
Londonlottie NK tests are for natural killer cells. Some fertility experts believe that the reason some women don't get pg is because the embryo cannot implant as it is being attacked by over zealous cells of the mother which usually attack viruses, foreign bodies etc. The treatment is steriods and some form immunglobin (i think that is what it is). Any how it is not proven and so not available on the NHS. BTW you should have got drunk last night, it is always good to go mad once in a while.
shreksmissus, on the frequent days when im feeling less charitable i tend to go into graphic detail about my 7 mcs and ep. usualy shuts the bastards up!
Pops in to say hello - am back from hols - was great although marred by arrival of AF and date of what would have been a year after my due date of the pregnancy I lost. We have one more month of trying before we embark on more tests .
oh hello wheely and dbno, no you aren't drinking alone, i was just hidden in the corner, unnoticed and not noticing, <shreks sighs> contemplating another monday morning and wishing she could find some ((morning) sickly) excuse not to go to work.
feeling very sorry for myself. have just typed why and pc has lost it probably a blessing for you lot though. anyway, haven't been too sociable tonight as dh has been working on pc. off to bed to mope and comtemplate horribly long day at work tomorrow, away from home, dd and dh, who i just want to scoop up and hide away for a long time. wish work didn't drain so much energy just want to be with my wee family and have lots of fun with dd.
Me too, shreks. Wonder if I am out of my mind working at all when I could be at home "relaxing", when that is clearly the panacea for fertility problems. Oh well...
I had hopes of that too annie, but as dd is off to school in September I think it's safe to say it ain't gonna happen now. In my more positive moments I like to think that this is a good thing, as when my imaginary baby comes it will get more of my attention.
hello ladies. im sorry that so many of you are stuggling. need another rant meself...
WHY does everyone else have babies? WHY do i feel so guilty that ds plays by himself all the time, because he doesnt have a sibling? WHY does he have to ask me on the way back from the soft play centre where his cousins, their friends and their friends siblings have all been playing together "when can i have a baby bruvver mummy?"
oh, and was about to start a thread entitled what were you posting this time last year and came across a thread asing for advice when seeing the fertility nurse. its been a year. add onto that the 18m ttc before my ep. fuck it, pass the gin!
have just come in from my horribly long day. i quite enjoy my job really just fed up at having to be there when i would rather be at home with dd instead of being too exhausted, then grumpy on my day off, andwouldlovetobeonmaternity and have both my real and imaginary baby by me (that's a bit waffly rambly - but i'm tired).
couldn't help myelf. Day 23 and did a pregnancy test - BFN of course! What did I expect? Was telling myself that having no symptoms could have been a symptom- what a loony.
On the positive side my sister just told me she is 6 weeks pg, 6 months after having a m/c at 9 weeks with her first.
So I am genuinely pleased, I know how much she wants a baby, just desperate for this one to stick this time, it would be so disappointing if she lost it again.
The test I did was a tesco one and I am so sad that I took it apart and am now watching the inevitable second pink line develop outside the required time period.
Having been fooled by tesco evap lines in the past I know that it means nothing but I just can't resist a chance to see a second line, even when I know its not real. That sort of behaviour really is worthy of the looney bin!
Actually have found the high proprtion of fellow gusset-watching, test-taking, is-it-an-implantation-bleed-or-just-my-AF pondering types that are posting on here very comforting. Nice to not to be the only one engaging in bizarre mental gymnastics all the time.
i have been doing so well....but they were looking at me and begging me to crack open the packet, i tried to resist, i did, i really really did....but well last night... not even 10 dpo, i don't think...only cd23 /25-30....and no fmu so not really surprised at bfn....i just couldn't help myself
trying to wait til i am actually late now although i do know that i won't be as i know it is very unlikely that i am pregnant.
hi annie, i'm cd24 today too. had a sore boob earlier but that was because i had had 2 cups of tea by lunchtime (i know that sounds weird but it's true). i know i'm not pg but am at that stage of the cycle that i wish af would just show up so i can stop the am i/aren't i? torture. still only another week to go til i'm late
i used to get a lot of breast pain when i was a student and a breast care nurse told me that different things can cause it, caffeine being one of those things. not a coffee drinker at all but as a student i used to drink a lot of tea, but i did get more pain. i went off tea when pg with dd and haven't really drunk that much of it since alhtough i do like the occasional cup. i can count on one hand how many cups i drink in a week. but i do notice that if i drink a bit more of it, i do get pain. 2 cups in a day virtually unheard of for me. mad, isn't it?
what is going on??? my cylce is normally 25-30 days. this one has only been 24. i know i said i wanted it to show up, but really, even earlier is a bit off. i thought i had ovulated on the saturday or possibly the sunday and that would mean either a friday or saturday period. i can't have an even shorter cyle... i am starting to worry that my lp isn't long enough or is getting shorter.
i know i said that i had more or less given up and was starting to get happier with that but actually i'm really miserable today, again ho hum...
Mine is anything from 22 - 30 so you have my sympathy.
Today is day 25 and doesn't feel like AF coming so I suppose it will be a slightly longer one maybe 28 days or something but last month was 22! Go figure.
lp i thought was 13 days which i know is supposed to be plenty long enough but now i'm not sure. i think this one must have been the same really but it means i missed the usual ov signs or the signs occured after the event (my ewcm is usually pretty accurate) or it really was less than 13 day lp. anyhoo, if i did ov earlier this month we would have missed the boat anyway as i was doing nights the few days before i thought i had ov'd. there you go, t'interweb now fully aware of my functions. have realised i am starting to be rather too much of a regular in the hut <mental note: try not to be such a mardyarse>
Nothing to report here - About to enter 'the zone' for once part of it falling at a convenient time when DH won't be working all hours (although CD14 is Sunday and I v.v.v. rarely OV on CD14 normally later so sods law says this month it will be later and he'll be busy... ).
To anyone who has been referred to the hospital for [gulp] infertility what's the procedure ? apparently my first appointment is with a nurse and then she'll schedule tests and an appt with consultant 2 months later. Does this mean they will just repeat blood tests in that two months or do something different - HCG ? I think if they tell me they'll just repeat blood tests I may cry.. or scream...or kill someone ... or perhaps all 3.
Wheelybug, it sounds as though your hospital is clued up, getting tests done first means you have something to talk to consultant about when you see him or her in two months time. There will be blood tests on specific days (beginning and towards end of cycle) to check FSH and Progesterone levels) and sperm tests (usually you have two of those, as sperm can be very easily influenced!) you will also have an HSG, or lap & dye. HSG is a x-ray which checks whether tubes are patent and clear, It can be very painful so take full dose of Nurofen and Paracetamol together, you will not od I promise, before you go. It is done after af but before o as it is really important you cannot possibly be pg. If you have an HSG you will have an ultrasound scan to check ovaries and uterus. If you have lap & dye it is all done together through a small hole in you tummy button and you get a general anesthetic. I think that is about it. I have had lots of fertility treatment so if you want to know anything more.... Good Luck, I hope all goes well and you get some answers.
Thanks Soosy - I have already have day 2 blood tests and day 21 tests done twice and also an ultrasound. DH has also done a sperm test.
We had to go through all this before we could be referred - but I assume they repeat this ? That's fine providing they also do something new in that 2 months /
(so HSG or Lap&Dye - yikes... pretty scared about either of these which is why I've been putting off referal for so long)
Thanks Soosy - I will no doubt be back with some more qu's. I agree the hospital seem quite clued up and organised - I am just hoping that they will do all the tests in the two months (and it is two months) so by the summer they will be discussing what happens next.....
Hi Wheely you will be with in ur rights to go mad if thats all they say. You have been refered so that you can get the ball rolling asap, however they might want you to do yet more blood tests just for them, if ur others are a bit old. Everywhere seems to be completly different so ill just tell u what happened to me. I saw the consultant first and to be fair she didnt do anything that the nurse couldnt have done. She just asked me a shed load of questions about me and my life style and my husband. Also all about my cycle and past medical history.They weightd me and worked out my BMI which was 26 so she suggested i loose a bit of weight. At that appointment it was decided that i should have a scan and a lap and dye, which took place last month. I have read on MN that others have got copies of notes/results etc to take with them which is a good idea if you are organised enough. The main thing i would say to you is dont worry, everyone was really friendly and nice and sensitive. When is ur appointment? Its one of the many hurdles that we have to go through and it is daunting, but it will be fine and u will feel better afterwards im sure. x
Thanks Viksam - Appointment in 17 April so a couple more weeks to worry about it . Sounds like they should do more in that 2 months than just blood tests which is good. Fingers crossed we hit the jackpot this month instead - but unlikely i fear !
had the worst period pains in memory and cramping pelvis wonder if it was a chemical pregnancy it was that bad.
have been doing some reading (and lots of crying, feel SO emotional) and going to try giving up dairy, wheat and sugar, it won't be easy though.
Packed away some of DD's old clothes today and just felt so sad, she has just turned 3, my baby is gone, putting her old things away, knowing that I might never have another baby again, just cried and cried, feel empty and horrible.
I know I am lucky to have DD wish I wouldn't be so pathetic. Sometimes it just hits worse than others. As always I secretly imagined I was pregnant again this month, teste, saw evap lines, the usual dreaming...
"Packed away some of DD's old clothes today and just felt so sad, she has just turned 3, my baby is gone, putting her old things away, knowing that I might never have another baby again, just cried and cried, feel empty and horrible.
I know I am lucky to have DD wish I wouldn't be so pathetic. Sometimes it just hits worse than others. As always I secretly imagined I was pregnant again this month, teste, saw evap lines, the usual dreaming... "
oh annie, could have written that myself. i am doing the baby stuff sort out today i guess that's why they call this the hut of gl/doom
Thanks Lissie - Am at least now feeling like I want to get on with the tests now to try and sort this out.
Annie & Shreksmissus - dd has just turned 3 as well... Its quite a milestone isn't it and yet another reminder of the lack of number 2 . I keep lending out dd's baby clothes to friends who have had baby girls and each time I sort through them its sooo hard. I originally wasn't lending them out because I wanted to keep them in good condition in case number 2 was a girl but I've given up worrying about that... they'll be out of fashion by the time no2 comes along....
Ladies, my heart goes out to you. I half killed myself making dd's 4th birthday party perfect: despite working four days a week, I themed the whole party and did everything myself, including baking and decorating her cake, hand made decorations for the hall, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure the other parents thought I was just a typical working mum over-compensating and my dh thought I was losing my marbles.
The truth is that I'm afraid she is my one shot at being a parent, so everything must be perfect for her.
Tired and sad today. Annual leave tomorrow, thank god.
cd5 for me. had my cd4 break which is always just long enough for me to think "hmm has it ended already, that was a short one, was it implantation??" then i get hit again on cd5. i've been like this since the beginning so you would think that i would realise it's my normal pattern, wouldn't you?
anyhoo, have put all the next age group of clothes away. not quite ready to give them away yet. like you wheely, am always saving them for dd2, whenever that may be but i might aswell forget as they'll be well out-of-fashion by then, (plus, it's a lot of wasted space if dc2 is a ds)!!
know what you mean about the one shot at being perfect mummy aswell dbno. crazy isn't it? i'm sure i must be being less than perfect by dd, if i keep yearning for a dsib for her. i feel so guilty about not being able to a) giver her a sib, as i know she would love it and b) totally get over myself on this. i know that if i'm only to have one, i'm really glad it's her (because she's fab) and i don't want her to feel like she's not enough. in my more rational and less emotional moments i know that that's not really the case but it does make me feel like a bit of a failure sometimes
>
hi goat. how long have you been at that stage?
probably a blessing for you lot though. anyway, haven't been too sociable tonight as dh has been working on pc. off to bed to mope and comtemplate horribly long day at work tomorrow, away from home, dd and dh, who i just want to scoop up and hide away for a long time. wish work didn't drain so much energy just want to be with my wee family and have lots of fun with dd. 
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