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Childbirth
: Haven't even got to childbirth yet, days away, and already the labour ward have let me down.. I'm getting really upset about it.,
(60 messages)
Had a HORRIBLE experience today. Waters sort of gushed in the night, some clear, some pink, and some with streaks of blood in. I woke up DP and my mum (we were staying at mums). Mum rang the labour ward and they said to get some sleep and come down before 9.
We went down at about half 8 and have just returned home now. The labour ward was so packed that they had one baby, new mum and her visitors in the waiting room. The baby was even left unattended at one point. It was diabolical.
The midwives kept going on about how they were so rushed off their feet and there was a queue of people waiting for my room.
They did a heartbeat check, then swapped midwives, so I'd explained the situation twice. She then got me to explain it a further two times. She did a fetal heart monitor and baby was fine, but I was getting regular contractions. She asked if they hurt and I said they felt like bad period pain. I was going to be sick and felt very light headed, and she said 'oh you just look so miserable, honestly'. Funnily enough, I was bloody miserable. She then called my gush 'a show' despite the fact I had one with the consultant, then 2 whopping great plugs came out yesterday.
She did a speculum, didn't go anywhere near my cervix but claimed it was still closed and long. Despite the fact I was 2cms dilated the other day.
She then said I had an infection, and asked if that's what I'd seen the night before, I said no and explained AGAIN what had happened and she disregarded it and said my waters hadn't gone and it was just discharge or wee, and went off to see the doctor. We were left waiting ages yet again and then a doctor came in, made me tell the whole stroy AGAIN, and said he thought they'd keep me over night to monitor the baby but he'd see the registrar.
The other midwife came back and said that I would be sent home with amoxycillin for a water infection- despite the fact I've had it over and over again and it's never cleared the water infection. It's a lower dose than the one I took last week that didn't work... so what's the point?
She then told me to go and wait in a PACKED waiting room where there were no seats and seemed to find it hillarious and took the piss when I sat in someone else's seat by accident. She then said 'there are seats outside you know, go and wait out there'.
I'd really seen my arse with her by this point and told her I was not happy and she got all attitudey about it.
I had a big long cry with mum and DP because I was so frustrated and then the midwife came out and spoke to me and said I could stay in if I was in such a state. I said I'd let her know later today.
But I am NOT going back there. I'm not even going about waters. The first midwife told me my waters would have broken but not the bit round the baby's head and so I would be induced in the morning to prevent infection. The second said they hadn't broken and I just have an infected fanjo with green discharge which she called 'nasty yucky discharge' and showed me. Cheers luv.
So I'm not going if my waters fully break because there's no point. Everytime I've been to the labour ward for anything this pregnancy they've fobbed me off because they're 'busy'. So I'm going to leave it until my contractions are so bad I feel like I can't live any longer, and then I'll go.
If that doesn't happen before Thursday I'm getting induced (as arranged with consultant last week), so now I'm TERRIFIED about that because I don't want to be in that pathetic labour ward a second longer than I have to be.
My GP midwife had told me to stay in the hospital for longer than just the day because of DPs cousin dying after child birth last year as obviously we'd all be anxious, but I'm not, I'm getting out as soon possible.
The midwife I saw today who was so crappy even admitted that she hadn't done her job well enough if she'd left me in tears and she should have put my mind at rest.
So overall I'm worried about the state of the overcrowded labour ward, and I'm worried my baby will get an infection from me and that my waters have gushed with pink bits and blood and still no one will take me seriously.
Sorry for the VERY long rant, and well done if you managed to get through it all. How on earth can I just chill out and get a grip so that I'm not this wound up in labour? I know they'll mess it up, the always do there, and there's been HUNDREDS of stillbirths lately, in the paper all the time.
do you have another hospital close enough to get to ?
if not, go back and ask to speak to the matron or whoever is in charge. get DP to do it or your mum. tell them exactly what has happened and if they do not get their act together there will be huge repercussions.
do go back in though, please do not leave it until the last minute. as bad as it is, it is much better to be surrounded by medical professionals with facilities than not to be should you need them
<<<which of course you won't because everything will be fine and very soon you will be holding your beautiful baby and all this will be a distant memory>>>>
if you end up getting induced you can't have a HB. i know you said the other hospital is ages away but if you're considering using it for a subsequent pregnancy you may aswell use it this time too iyswim. also if you're going to be induced it doesn't really matter about it being near enough.
I can't get a midwife in time for a home birth unfortunately as the town seems to be rife with pregnant women about to pop. I am DEFINATELY going for a home birth next time as this has left me in a right state and now I'm expected to just give birth in a few days.
No idea about the waters, no one tested (I've been twice or 3 times before with gushes, but this one was much more and was pink and bloody. Not once have they checked if it was amniotic fluid).
No other birthing units at all unfortunately. And it's a teaching hospital so half of them are students here.
Unfortunately no money at all to hire a midwife at moment. Next time I'm going to get my finances spot on before getting pregnant. As I don't want to rely on the NHS again.
My sister nearly died last week when she had twins prem because they hadn't picked up on her HELLP syndrome, and they took the baby to another hospital miles away, and they made a mistake and made her lung collapse and she arrested, so now she's been taken to ANOTHER hospital even further away who have said they cannot believe this has been allowed to happen.
So naturally we're all a little highly strung at moment
sorry, I cross posted. We're moving next year so we'll be closer to the other hospital you see, so that's why we'll be able to use it next time. This time I'm just stuck with this one
Don't have any constructive advice but just wanted to say that I feel for you. I was not impressed with maternity services at all when i was preg/in labour with ds. A bit like you I had had 2 shows and then when labour started there was a lot of bright red blood (not mucus.... bright red blood). I was understandably concerned and asked the midwife if it was normal.... she asked to look at it and then when I showed her the toilet paper she wrinkled her nose in disgust (made me feel like crap). I will add though that once I was nearer to actually giving birth (about 7cm) they all seemed a lot nicer to me and the midwife with me for delivery was lovely. One way or another you will get through it and have a lovely baby (cliche I know sorry) and it does seem less important then. But I wish I had been more assertive at the time. Are your mum and dp both going to be with you? My mum stuck up for me quite a bit which was nice.
Don't worry that you are taking a midwife off the wards, you are not. Community midwifes are the ones who attend home births and wouldn't be the same midwifes who work in hosptial.
If there is not 'enough' midwifes in a particular month the PCT can employ independent midwifes, bank midwifes and community midwifes from an ajoining area to cover the gap. None of this is your responsibility.
In your shoes, I would get a letter to them ASAP telling them you will be having a homebirth and expect to have a NHS midwife to attend.
Oh I'm so confused, i don't want to have the baby at the hospital because it's disasterous, and they just don't care at all. But I'm so unprepared for a home birth and we havn't moved house yet.
Man. Id be livid. And to have to repeat yourself so many times; pain in the ass. Plus with the experience your sister had last week, its no wonder. Just try and chill for a bit and relax. I am having a homebirth to avoid these sorts of problems, plus Im not interested in being shuffled out because they need a bed. Hope it al turns out good for you. Lets us know.
mumblesmummy - I am sorry about the situation you have found in the labour ward today - it is das that you have come away feeling so stressed.
I work in a labour ward and sometimes it can be very hectic where there are more women than midwives, and other days there can be very few women in labour. Today may well be a very busy one but that does not excuse how you were treated when you were seen.
When you had the speculum examination, that was to see if there was any water draining. The midwife did not see any so it is thought your waters have not broken. Was a swab taken?
Have you recently had a proven urine infection that you were on anyibiotics for? It sounds as though you have by your post. Have you got any burning when passing urine or are you running to the loo a lot and passing small amounts?
A urine infection can mimic early labour.
You can have a very watery discharge in late pregnancy which is normal. You can also pass show a number of times before you do into labour. Sometimes it is clear and sometimes it is streaked with blood.
I would wear a sanitary pad throughout the rest of the day and see whether you pass any more fluid at all. If your waters have broken then you will continue to leak fluid. If the pad is getting wet I would phane and let the labour ward know.
The best place for you to be at the moment is at home to be honest. As long as the baby is moving and you feel well in yourself, then staying at home till the contractions get established into full labour is the best thing to do.
Can you contact your own community midwife tomorrow at all?
I can't see my midwife until Wednesday, but I've made sure I've got an appointment with her then.
I have to ask something gross, is it normal to have all this weird masses and masses of like egg yolk coming out? I'm not talking a little bit, I mean serious huge amounts. It's started since this morning, and I had the pour and the blood last night.
My pad has been catching quite a bit of fluid, but the midwife just said 'I doubt that's anything'. She did a swab but I won't get the results until next week but I get induced on Thurs, so when I said well what if the baby is going to catch something, she said they can just stick the baby on antibiotics... which I don't think is a good solution. Is it possible that I've been losing waters in dribs and drabs and the baby is getting an infection? That's what I'm most worried about at the moment.
The 'egg yolk' you describe sounds like the discharge I mentioned in my previous post - very good description BTW. It is very normal at this stage of pregnancy and there can be lots of it.
When the water round the baby leaks, it looks a bit like urine but it does not smell of urine. If you have a wet pad then smell it. It isn't uncommon to leak urine in late pregnnacy as well because of the pressure of the baby on the bladder. You can also leak urine if you have a urine infection.
If your waters break a long time before labour starts, antibiotics are given in labour. If the swab comes back with an infection, it depends what infection it is whether it is treated before labour.
As said earlier, keep a pad on today and see what happens. If the pad gets wet with water, then call the labour ward back to let them know. It might be that your induction date would be brought forward if labour does not start and your waters are broken.
Be reassured that what you are experiencing is very common and it is most likely your waters have not broken.
Also Mears, if someone had been a little stroppy over being treated crappy and then burst into tears and said they were going to end up like their sister or DPs cousin and spent about 15 minutes being inconsolable and wanting to know if the baby could catch infection, would you be less than helpful with them when they went in for actual labour?
As I'm worried this could happen considering the attitude of the midwife today.
Absolutely not. Please do not worry about going back to the labour ward. I think that you have been very unfortunate today which you could make a complaint about if you wished. Souinds as though staff have been under pressure and not given you the attention you needed at that time. That does not mean that it will happen again. If you did have a problem when you go back - ask to speak to the midwife in charge of the labour ward. He/she should make sure your concerns are answered.
Thanks, that's good to know as I was worried they'd be thinking I was some kind of chav or drama queen and would be awful to me when it was time for me to have the baby.
The consultant is fantastic, maternity ward are quite good, but labour ward just leaves a lot to be desired.
No, it was mumbles after the penguin on Happy Feet because the baby keeps dancing in my tummy. A few people have asked that though. I didn't know it was a place.
Update (some TMI at points): I feel SUCH a fool today. The midwife said yesterday if I suddenly thought there was something not right and I just didn't feel right, to go back. Well I woke in the middle of the night with a hideous headache, feeling REALLY sick, and could not for love nor money get the baby to move. Normally I only have to make the slightest movement or touch his foot and he's wriggling away and trying to kick his way out, but nothing at all. Both me and DP tried all the things that usually get him to move and he wouldn't at all.
I sat up and the goop stuff ran through a pad, through knickers and PJs and all over the towel on the bed. So I ran to the toilet and it carried on pouring. I rung labour ward and they said 'the baby has already been monitored today and it was fine. If you REALLY want to come up you can, but babies don't move at night anyway'. So I said 'I do want to come up.'
When she found the heart (which took a bit), I nearly burst into tears and she said 'look we've done this once today, what's the problem?' so i explained what had happened and she said 'I think you're just not getting enough sleep and it's making you like this', but she's sending me for a scan today to see if it's waters just to put my mind at rest. Then I've got to go back to the labour ward again with the results which I'm REALLY apprehensive about as I think they think I've completely lost the plot now, and they seem to be getting really impatient.
I'm so embarressed. Feel like I need to get away... from me!
Why on eath should you feel embarrassed? The labour ward have treated you terribly imho and they should be hanging their heads in shame.
You have done nothing wrong and nothing to be embarrassed about and don't let them tell you otherwise.
I think they have let you down badly in the way they have treated you. Having a baby is a really anxious time for everyone and they clearly need to brush up on their professional skills. I'm sure that you just need some reassurance rather than their condescending attitude. Cows.
Hey, it doesn't matter what they think, or what you think they think. It matters how you feel. You need to have your mind put at rest so that you can rest your body in preparation for the birth. It's good you were assertive.This is your baby, not their's, so you care the most and you're simply being a good mother. x.
I agree, why on earth should you feel embarrassed? The bloody midwives who were so unprofessional should be the ones feeling bad. I know they are rushed off their feet etc. etc. but that is no excuse for being unkind and frightening a woman who is about to go into labour.
Feel for you and hope you get someone decent when it does actually happen.
It is disgusting the state of maternity hospitals, BUT don't let your anger and annoyance stop you from going, Go and demand what you want. Don't put yourself in any risk. Good luck,
Bloody hell they sound dreadful. I've been in twice when the baby stopped moving (in a very understaffed unit) and they were excellent and kind and thoughtful.
Is there really no way you can swap hospitals? Can you ring your community (GP)) midwife and ask to talk to her asap. I think given your family history they should be taking extra care to reassure you.
mumblesmummy - you were perfectly correct to contact the labour ward agagin and I vexed for you that you were not treated any better .
However, at least you are having a scan for reassurance. The amount you describe leaking sounds a lot and could be your waters mixed with gloop.
Sometimes the hindwaters (from the back of the baby) can leak and reseal itself.
It was right to be monitored when you did not feel any movement - babies do move at night as well.
I think you level of anxiety is increasing because you are getting close to delivery and the worries about what happened to your sister and DPs cousin. Be reassured that it is extremely rare for a woman to die in childbirth and you will be fine. Your sister had HELLP syndrome which you do not.
Try and focus on the positive side. Very soon your baby will be here and you will be a mummy
Mubblesmummy, you have nothing to be embarrassed about! The midwfe should not have made you feel like you have. I feel so sad for you that the midwives on labour ward have such an attitude. I hope all goes well at the scan.
I'm really angry for you, you've been treated like a child and nobody seems to have explained anything to you in a way that will ease your concerns, just fobbed you off because they've seen it all before and they don't have the time or patience to explain it to you. Hurray for mears explaining all this stuff, why can't your midwives have done that? It must be really worrying to see all this fluid coming out because you're told that when that happens it means your waters have broken and you're in danger of infection. I hope you get sorted out soon and get some better treatment and that the delivery goes well for you. I wouldn't worry about mithering them either, it's your baby.
yeah mumblesmum, bother them as much as you feel you need to, don't be embarrassed. Tell them that you are very anxious and need to be reassured. That is part of their job, it is such a shame that you are not being reassured by the hospital.
Try to stay calm, it is nicer to be in labour at home and once you are ready to give birth you will only care about the task in hand. Relaxation really helps with labour.
Keep posting here on mumsnet because you'll get loads of support and reassurance here!
mm - sorry to hear you've had another bad experience at the hospital. sending big hugs to you.
don't feel intimidated into keeping quiet about things that are worrying you. just be firm with them to get the reassurance you need. they can be stroppy, but they can't not deal with you.
it's no surprise that you're feeling so shaken up after everything that's happened with your sister's situation. perhaps your GP could put you in touch with a community midwife or midwife at the hospital who could just spend some time with you talking you through everything calmly? It sounds like you really need a reassuring professional ear...so for you that you're not getting this at the hospital.
mumblesmummy - I'm not sure if this will be any consolation or not, - but I had a similar experience to you, with maybe/maybe not waters leaking.
I too was treated apallingly and after getting out of the hospital with a scan booked for the next day, - broke down in tears and even my DH agreed with me that we were not going back there even to attend the scan.
However, my waters broke properly that very night and arriving at the hospital I was attended by the loveliest midwives. They told me that the ones that do the prenatal monitoring at the day assessment, weren't generally the same ones that did the delivery etc.
really hope everything's ok. even if she had the longest labour ever, resulting in a section, then having to stay in for 5 days she should have been back by today at the latest.
i've been thinking pregna - a lot of people don't post until 1-2 weeks after they give birth cos they're just so busy. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that there'll be a post by the monday after this one.