Milk is an important source of nutrients that you and your family shouldn’t miss out on. If someone in your family has lactose intolerance and the rest of the family still want to enjoy the taste of real milk, try Lactofree - the UK’s first virtually lactose-free dairy drink.
LO is 7 weeks today and is only BF. He loves it and doesn't even like a bottle of EBM but I am so weary of not getting anything done. I know it's best for him and I always said I'd do at least 4 months, but I spend my whole life BF and the house is a tip. Bully me into sticking with it?
cups-He's a real wriggler. I have tried carting him around, buthe doesn't stay on unless we're sitting or lying down. DH is constantly having a go at me and I'm cracking.
you are doing really well 7wks is tiny, it WILL get better and you'll be able to put him down for longer to shower etc ignore the house if you can, it's not important atm, but if seeing it bothers you force dh to shove all mess somewhere invisible from your favoured feeding spot (or indeed tidy up himself, or pay for a cleaner)
buy food you can prepare and eat with one hand while holding lo to the boob with the other (breakfast was the clincher for me - try bananas, or muffins, croissants etc that don't need buttering) or cold things you can eat from the fridge like sausages or roast chicken.
You are doing fine, this is the worst bit so hang in there!
First, your DH should be supporting you! Support from partners is REALLY important in the early weeks.
Have you tried a sling? It can kind of keep them in place when latched on so you have your hands free.
And WELL DONE for getting to 7 weeks bf - most women give up in the first 6 weeks so you are doing REALLY well. Has he been feeding more often recently? There's often a big growth spurt at around 6 weeks, but things should then settle down again.
Can you get a cleaner, or family help round the house? Bfing does take up a lot of time but it is worth it
I found it helpful to not think too far ahead: that I would bf this week, and then see how it goes...
It will get better!!I found mine started feeding slightly less around 10-12 weeks (still loads but at least I had breaks in between when they slept and I could get a few things done).
How long and how often does he feed? Are you sure he's actually feeding all the time or is he just comfort sucking? Have you tried <whisper> a dummy? My DD3 was incredibly sucky and even though I'm not keen on dummies I needed some time with her off the boob.
you are doing really well 7 weeks is fantastic. i was told by many female relatives that i wouldn't manage bf in the long term because i am very house proud (just call me monica) and i would find it too tying.
proved them wrong now at 6 months exc. bf.
it will settle down i found it sorted itself by 12 weeks into something more manageable.
i also wore a sling (kari-me) and breastfed in that while i got on with stuff. Don't know where i'd be without my sling, probably a gibbering wreck in the corner
anyhoo - ff takes just as long only difference is someone else can do it for you but is there anybody around during the day to take over? There isn;t here just me and dd
i did work dh pretty hard in the first few weeks though - he was very sick of hearing could you just?, and would you mind? after a day at work. also, got my mum round on her afternoon off and supervised a few household duties while i fed lo. learn to take advantage!
Oh Sidge, I have given up keeping the dummy a secret. I always swore I wouldn't, but DS is so sucky he was giving me love bites!! DS is very sucky, but also very hungry. He feeds every 3hours for about 30-40 minutes. He is very windy, so takes ages to settle after, that does mean I have 2 hours inbetween feeds, I know. The thing is that I am trying to keep up on paperwork for DH's company, clean the house, eat and sleep. He has started waking a bit between 4 and 6am just to have a quick moan. Doesn't bother him, but I dont sleep after 4am and am comatose after feeds during day. I just need to get organised and motivated to clean when sleepy, I guess.
VS, yes, it doesn't help. My LO is very windy, I have hideously painful letdown (ok it's only momentary, but I sit with toes curled waiting for it). Have been winging here as well.
at you still doing dh's paperwork even in the most matleave-stingy countries you'd only just be going back to work, and that'd be with fulltime childcare
if you really can't sleep at 4am is it worth getting up and taking the time, NOT to work or clean, but have a cup of tea and a proper breakfast while you have the chance?
Cleaning should be vital things only - once a day spray and wipe kitchen and once a week spray and wipe bathroom and shove hoover round high-traffic areas. And tbh DH should be pulling his weight on thsi front
Ah OK, his feeding sounds totally normal. LOL at keeping a dummy secret, don't worry you have to do what's right for you! My DD3 was giving me love bites too, my poor nips were purple
Sounds like you have a lot on - I think it is unreasonable of your DH to expect an immaculate house and for you to do the paperwork - something's gotta give. Can you get a cleaner for a couple of months, or get someone else to do the paperwork? Even for a month or two until things settle down a bit.
Wont get started on how I feel about DH's attitude. MIL has offered to do what she can, but is 78 and recovering from hip op. She could feed him but that's about it. My house is fine as far as I'm concerned. But I'm sure it will get easier. Thanks everyone. Really needed a moan and support.
My ds is 6 weeks and much the same (feeding loads, waking at 4, I can't get bac to sleep etc)! I understand what you're going through and feel the same way!
Stay positive, you're doing a great job, and as I keep saying to myself too, it is early days. I tend to have one day out of 3 or 4 when I do a little housework, then that's about it, 3 or 4 days of taking it easy again.
If you think your house is fine (I do mine, too, even though it's a little more chaotic than usual), then stuff what anyone else says, especially a DH who should be helping you, not criticising you at this point!
You sound worn out and fed-up. I was shocked at how much time you have to give over to breast-feeding at first, my DS still feeds every 2 hours (and that is from the start of one feed to the next ) like clockwork but for shorter periods so it does settle down.
Are you the kind of person who prefers to be busy or do you just feel pressured to be doing things at the mo? I think bfeeding is the best excuse in the world to put your feet up with a cuppa and a good book. What can be more important than growing a boy?! But if you find sitting down frustrating then that is different.
From what my friends say, formula feeding can be just as demanding what with sterilising, making up bottles, babies still want to feed frequently etc so you might be swapping one set of probs for another iyswim.
Hope you feeling better for having a moan, mnet is a lifeline for me.
Greedy...if I had it my way, DS and I would lie in bed all morning feeding and cuddling, have lunch and a walk, then more feeding and cuddling. That way I wouldn't make any mess to clean. The more I try to do the bigger the mess, as I only get halfway thru things. Am feeling much better as I got things of my chest. (pardon the pun) LO has finished his feed and is sleeping so WILL go tidy now!! lol
turtle DO stay in bed all morning cuddling and feeding - all too soon your ds will be more active and won't want to stay put and you'll wish you'd done it when you had the chance! who cares if you don't get dressed till lunchtime? and sod the housework (bar the basics) tbh...
Turtle 'your way' sounds very sensible to me. Why shouldn't you have your way? Your baby will be this small only once, now, and no matter how much cleaning you do today it will still need doing the next day, and the day after etc. If you want to BF your baby then do it - looking back in 20 years will you be glad that you BF him, or that your house was clean?
And I bottle fed my son - didn't get any housework done either, except washing and sterilising bottles all flipping day long!
If you can afford it, a cleaner for a few weeks or someone to do the ironing is a big help if you are a clean freak. I had someone for the first 3 months and it was a help. Though TBH I still had to make a big adjustment regarding the state of the house - children come first and always will.
Turtle that's what you should be doing, staying in bed feeding & cuddling!!
I was lucky, being a single mum I stayed with my parents for the first 7 weeks and didn't have to do anything other than feed dd. Even so, those weeks are a complete blur and most of the time was spent feeding dd. I have no idea how I would have coped on my own at home. Then when I moved back into my flat which I shared with a friend, i admitted to her that she would most probably have to do most of the housework - my only chore (other than my own laundry/cooking etc of course) was to keep the kitchen surfaces clean because it was one thing that could be constantly interrupted.
It WILL get easier, I can say that even though dd fed every couple of hours for most of the first year & was very clingy with it! Around 5 months it got very hard again (before starting her on solids) but nowhere near as hard as those first couple of months when you're also recovering from the birth, getting used to baby, etc!
Everything you're experiencing is perfectly normal. Keep repeating "This too shall pass", I wish I'd had that perspective back then.
PS I always find it unbelievable that I could ask my friend (I think it was more like tell her actually) to do that for me, and yet actual husbands sometimes don't accept it.
Hi, it seems that you're in a similar situation to me. We work from home and I have had no maternity leave to speak of. worked till 2 days before birth and was back in the office 4 days after coming out of hospital. It's one of the joys of running your own/husbands business, there is no time off and no replacement. It does get better though I promise!! I remember being almost constantly in tears at the 6/7 wk mark because DS was feeding all the time and I found it so physically draining. Now he is 18 weeks and things are so much better and have been for a while. He is always in a great mood in the mornings so I use this time to get on with the office work whilst he gurgles under his playgym. The house is a tip i admit but I always work on the theory that I can't do everything and that children and work are so much more important than cleaning.
Really know where you're coming from but as I said it does get better xx
With second baby I gave up any pretence of trying to get other things done and was much much happier and far less stressed than with DD1. Took all the help I could get and sat on my backside whenever possible, feeding for about 6 weeks. It is hugely stressful trying to achieve anything else in the early days and your DH needs to acknowledge this, otherwise you will exhaust yourself and that is no good for anyone. It all gets hugely easier later on, really just a matter of a few weeks will make all the difference. This is such a transient stage, chill out, sit down, enjoy it. Hope you get the support you need.
You are all lovely. Thank you. I am typing this from bed, by the way, where I've been for a while. LO is asleep following our bath together, stories(dont tell me I'm mad, I know he's just a baby, he likes it)a long massage and feed. I have been reading my book that I started at 35 weeks pregnant and although I have done the kitchen I have left the rest of it and made DH cook my dinner. Sigh. Even if it never happens again I will be happy I had this evening!!
turtle - sounds like you're managing to get an amazing amount of stuff done so I'm not surprised you feel like the bf takes a lot of time - but it does, and you shouldn't feel like you should have to do other things!
I really did no housework for weeks - not even the cooking until DS's cluster feeding calmed down!
If your DH needs his paperwork doing then that should be your one job and he should be doing the housework to make up for it
(I'm in a similar position, I started a business a few years ago, DH joined me and gradually I moved over to a managerial/admin role rather than an 'operational' one - we hired someone for half a day a week to do the ongoing paperwork when I got pregnant and had her trained up by the time I stopped working. She still calls me up to confirm things but all the week to week stuff gets done, and I'm now working about 3 hours a week to do things like end of year accounts etc)
If your DH needs a kick up the backside, you can show him this thread. It deals with exclusive formula feeding, but I believe that any amount of formula increases these risks although not as much.
I think you'd really regret it if you gave up just because your husband was being a git, so good luck!
Hey, those first few weeks (7 weeks is just that) are incredibly tiring when you are just feed feed feed, I vaguely remember it, more of a blur now though, it did get so much easier and became an absolute pleasure breastfeeding both my D/S, I had no family nearby to help, but was lucky to have a supportive husband. Anyway, I breastfed my 2nd son until he was nearly 2 and was very sad to stop. Please try and get support to help you through the tough bit, phone breasfeeding support - The National Breasfeeding Helpline, NCT, ABM, most take calls until 10pm and breastfeeding counsellors will try and help. Good luck!
turtle -you are doing a great job. I remember those early weeks of breastfeeding constantly and worrying about the state of the flat. Now my ds is 18months i cant understand why it seemed at all important to tidy up! Maybe you would enjoy a book called 'what mothers do' by naomi stadlen. Its a lovely supportive book, especially for the first few months.
Milk is an important source of nutrients that you and your family shouldn’t miss out on. If someone in your family has lactose intolerance and the rest of the family still want to enjoy the taste of real milk, try Lactofree - the UK’s first virtually lactose-free dairy drink.
at you still doing dh's paperwork
